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(Alton Brown) A FEW HUNDRED YEARS AGO THE AVERAGE JOE ON THE STREET FIGURED THE WORLD WAS FLAT,
BUT THE AVERAGE JOE ON THE STREET ALSO BELIEVED IN FAIRIES, DRAGONS, SEA MONSTERS,
AND THAT TOMATOES WERE POISON.
SINCE THEN, OF COURSE, WE'VE LEARNED THAT WE LIVE ON A GREAT BIG BALL,
AND THAT THIS BALL IS SPINNING AT ABOUT 1,000 MILES AN HOUR THROUGH SPACE,
AND THIS SPACE MAY ACTUALLY BE A THIN LAYER RIDING ON TOP OF
A UNIVERSE THAT'S AS FLAT AS A PANCAKE,
WHICH IS FINE BY ME,
I LIKE FLAT!
I LIKE KANSAS, I'M ALL FOR A FLAT TAX,
I LOVE MY FLAT COMPUTER MONITOR, I WISH I HAD A FLAT TV SCREEN,
AND I KINDA WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A FLAT STOMACH.
NOW I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE ALL THESE FLAT THINGS,
BUT AT LEAST I CAN HAVE FLAT FOOD.
EVER SINCE I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL ONE DAY
TO WITNESS MY MOM POUNDING OUT A SWISS STEAK WITH THE BACK OF A FRYING PAN,
I'VE BEEN FASCINATED BY DISHES BUILT ON HUNKS OF MEAT
POUNDED WAFER-THIN.
BESIDES THE OBVIOUS STRESS RELIEF POTENTIAL,
FLATTENED MEATS OFFER MORE SURFACE AREA THAN BIG OLD HUNKS,
SO THEY CAN BE MORE THOROUGHLY SEASONED AND/OR SAUCED,
AND SINCE THEY COOK VERY QUICKLY,
FLAT MEAT DISHES ARE PERFECTLY SUITED TO THE
MODERN AMERICAN'S FRANTICALLY FRENETIC LIFESTYLE.
SO STICK AROUND, WON'T YOU, BECAUSE FLAT ISN'T JUST BEAUTIFUL,
FLAT IS...
♪♪
(Alton) SO WHAT COULD WE POSSIBLY GAIN BY FLATTENING A PERFECTLY GOOD PIECE OF MEAT?
WELL, BY BREAKING DOWN THE CONNECTIVE TISSUE WE COULD CERTAINLY GAIN SOME TENDERNESS.
THIS IS PROBABLY WHY OUR ANCESTORS POUNDED SO MANY OF THEIR MEALS,
BUT TODAY'S MEAT CRITTERS ARE ALREADY PRETTY DARN TENDER.
WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR HERE IS AN INCREASE IN SURFACE AREA.
CONSIDER THAT COW OVER THERE...
(cow noises)
AT 893 POUNDS THAT COW'S ONLY GOT A SURFACE TO MASS RATIO OF...
IS THAT IT?
THAT'S NOT GONNA DO, BARELY THREE TO ONE.
NOPE, WE'RE WE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE SOME SERIOUS CHANGES AROUND HERE.
(evil laugh)
ARE YOU SERIOUS, YOU THINK HE'LL MIND?
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
LAWYERS.
WELL, SINCE I'M TOLD THAT RUNNING OVER AN ACTUAL COW MIGHT UPSET SOME PEOPLE,
WE'LL ROLL OVER THIS ROAST INSTEAD,
WHICH AT 3 1/2 POUNDS WOULD ORDINARILY TAKE ABOUT 2 1/2 HOURS TO ROAST IN AN OVEN,
THAT DOESN'T REALLY GIVE US THAT MANY CULINARY OPTIONS.
WE CAN CHANGE ALL THAT BY ALTERING THE SURFACE TO MASS RATIO.
EW.
MAYBE WE SHOULD SEEK OUT SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP.
CAN I HELP YOU?
UM, SURE, I'M LOOKING FOR A TENDER CUT OF MEAT,
FLAT, KIND OF THIN, I WAS THINKING...
(Italian man) A SCALOPPINE, ESCALOPE!
(British man) HE DID NOT ASK FOR FISH!
SAME THING.
(Italian man) NO, NO, NO, ESCALOPE IS MUCH THINNER.
(arguing)
LAMB... PORK... VEAL...
ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST HOPING FOR PLAIN OLD BEEF.
(French man) A MIGNONETTE!
(British man) DO YOU MEAN A MEDALLION, TOO THICK!
(French man) FINE, A NOISETTE, IT'S SMALLER.
(Italian man) NO THAT'S WRONG!
(British man) WHAT ABOUT A CHOP?
(Italian man) NO, HE DOESN'T WANT A RIB IN IT, FOOL.
(British man) RIGHT, THAT'S WHERE THE WORD "CUTLET" COMES FROM.
WAIT, I THOUGHT THAT CAME FROM FRENCH.
(Italian man) IT'S FROM A LATIN WORD, "COSTA."
(French man) BY WAY OF FRENCH, "CÔTE."
BOTH OF WHICH MEAN "RIB."
HE DOESN'T WANT A RIB IN!
WHAT ABOUT A SCHNITZEL?
SCHNITZEL, HEY, THAT COULD WORK!
WE GET IT FOR YOU, NO PROBLEM!
WHEN SEEKING A FLAT CUT OF MEAT,
YOU'RE LIKELY TO RUN INTO A NOMENCLATURAL ROADBLOCK OR TWO
BECAUSE THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY WORDS.
SO WHY NOT JUST BUY YOURSELF A BIG HUNK OF BEAST AND DO THE FLATTENING YOURSELF.
YOU'LL SAVE MONEY, AND YOU MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR MIND.
WE GOT IT!
WHERE DID HE GO?
HE MUST NOT A LIKED HIS ATTITUDE, WITH THE MIGNONETTE.
(arguing)
THE VENETIAN RENAISSANCE PAINTER VITTORE CARPACCIO
WAS FAMOUS FOR HIS DRAMATIC USE OF THE COLOR RED.
SO FAMOUS, IN FACT, THAT CENTURIES LATER,
HE WOULD HAVE A DISH, A VERY RED DISH, NAMED AFTER HIM.
CARPACCIO, WHICH IS NOTHING MORE THAN WAFER-THIN PIECES OF BEEF
DRESSED WITH OLIVE OIL, LEMON JUICE, GREENS, FLAKES OF PARMESAN, AND CAPERS,
AND YES, THAT'S RAW MEAT.
(voice over megaphone) ALTON BROWN, ALTON BROWN,
THIS IS THE FOOD POLICE!
WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO IN THERE,
AND WE DON'T LIKE IT ONE DARN BIT.
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU LOUSY CULINARY COPS!
NEVER!
(Food Police) JUST COOK THE MEAT AND NOBODY HAS TO GET HURT.
COOK CARPACCIO?
SACRILEGE!
(Food Police) WHAT ABOUT MINUTE STEAK?
MINUTE STEAK, THAT'S CRAZY!
THAT'S INSANE!
ACTUALLY, THAT COULD BE KINDA COOL.
YOU KNOW, IF WE PLAY OUR CARDS RIGHT,
WE COULD MARRY THE MINUTE STEAK CONCEPT TO THE CARPACCIO TRADITION.
WE'D HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!
MAYBE, FINALLY, THE NOBEL COMMITTEE WILL RECOGNIZE MY CONTRIBUTIONS TO HUMANITY.
(Food Police) DON'T BET ON IT, BROWN!
THE FIRST STEP TO POUNDING SOMETHING THIN
IS USUALLY CUTTING IT THIN TO BEGIN WITH.
NOW, HERE I HAVE A 16-OUNCE HUNK OF BEEF TENDERLOIN,
AND AS YOU CAN SEE, IT IS A DARN TENDER HUNK OF COW.
SO IT'S GONNA BE DIFFICULT TO SLICE THIN, AT LEAST IN THIS STATE.
SO WE'RE NOT GONNA CUT IT IN THIS STATE.
NOPE, WE'RE GOING TO WRAP THIS BACK UP AND STASH IT IN THE FREEZER.
NO, I DON'T WANNA FREEZE IT SOLID,
THAT WOULD BE A SILLY THING TO DO,
BUT I DO WANNA FIRM IT UP.
SO I'M GONNA PARK IT IN HERE FOR AT LEAST TWO HOURS.
DON'T GO MORE THAN THREE OR YOU'LL HAVE YOURSELF A MEATSICLE.
SLICING, EVEN A WELL-CHILLED PIECE OF MEAT, WITH A REGULAR BLADE
IS A TOUGH PROPOSITION.
AN ELECTRIC KNIFE WILL HELP YOU KEEP YOUR SLICES NICE AND EVEN,
AND PRETTY THIN.
THERE, NOW THAT'S PRETTY THIN, BUT TO GET IT AS THIN AS WE NEED IT,
WE'LL REQUIRE SOME EXTRA TECHNOLOGY.
HI, W, HAMMERED OUT ANY NEW DISCOVERIES LATELY?
WELL, ACTUALLY, YES.
WE FOUND THAT MALLETS WITH LARGER HEADS PRODUCE BETTER RESULTS.
THE SMALLER HEADS REQUIRE A LOT MORE STRIKES,
AND THAT CAN LEAD TO...
MAKING MESSES, LIKE THIS.
(W) THE HARD EDGES ARE THE PROBLEM, MALLETS WITH ROUNDED EDGES CAUSE LESS TEARING.
WHAT ABOUT MATERIALS?
WOOD MALLETS ARE LIGHTER THAN THE METAL ONES,
SO YOU HAVE A LOT MORE STRIKES AND A LOT MORE WORK.
OKAY, SO METAL IT IS.
YOU KNOW, ULTIMATELY POUNDING'S ABOUT CONTROLLING THE STRIKE
TO DELIVER THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF FORCE.
HEY, YOU KNOW, THIS DOESN'T LOOK BAD HERE.
WELL, WITH GOOD REASON, 'CAUSE YOU SEE...
STOP!
WHERE WAS I...
OH, YOU HAVE MATTE FINISH, THAT REDUCES THE FRICTION,
A LARGE HEAD TO EVENLY DISTRIBUTE THE IMPACT,
CURVED EDGES TO CUT DOWN ON THE TEARING,
AND A PADDED HANDLE SO IT'S LESS SHOCK TO THE ARM.
WELL, THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THIS IS IT LOOKS LIKE A UNI-TASKER,
AND YOU KNOW HOW I HATE A UNI-TASKER.
CAN YOU THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE YOU MIGHT DO WITH THIS?
WELL, I COULD SHOW YOU WHAT I WOULD WANNA DO WITH IT!
OH, SURE, A PAPERWEIGHT, I GOT IT.
HAMMERTIME!
SEE YA, W.
WELL, NOW THAT WE ARE ARMED WITH A PROPER POUNDING TOOL, WE'RE READY TO GO.
WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A NICE STURDY SURFACE AND A PIECE OF MEAT THAT'S THIN,
BUT NOT THIN ENOUGH TO BE WHAT THE FRENCH CALL A PAILLARD, WHICH IS WHAT WE'RE OUT FOR.
SO A-POUNDING WE WILL GO, RIGHT?
WRONG, NOT QUITE YET, THERE'S ONE OTHER FORCE THAT WE HAVEN'T TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT,
FRICTION, STUDY YOUR PHYSICS,
ANYTIME A BLOW GOES STRAIGHT DOWN AND HITS SOMETHING,
IT SLIDES, THE BLOW DEFLECTS.
IF THAT HAPPENS WITH A TENDER PIECE OF MEAT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT,
IT COULD TEAR THE MEAT.
MAYBE NOT A PIECE OF FLANK STEAK OR A PIECE OF ROUND STEAK,
OR SOMETHING EVEN CHEWIER, LIKE MY MOM'S SWISS STEAK,
BUT THIS WOULD DEFINITELY BE DAMAGED.
SO WE NEED TO ADD SOME SLIPPERY TO THE EQUATION, AND I'VE GOT JUST THE THING.
NUMBER ONE, PLASTIC WRAP,
AND NUMBER TWO, GOOD OLD FASHIONED WATER, H20, OKAY?
I'VE GOT MY PLASTIC WRAP DOWN, I'M GONNA GIVE IT A LITTLE SPRITZ,
THE MEAT GOES DOWN ON ONE SIDE,
FOLD OVER TO MAKE OURSELVES A LITTLE SANDWICH,
AND THEN I ADD JUST A LITTLE MORE WATER RIGHT ON TOP.
NOW WE POUND, BUT WE DON'T REALLY POUND,
JUST KIND OF DROP THIS RIGHT DOWN INTO THE CENTER
AND THEN MOVE OUT TOWARDS THE EDGES.
IT'S A LOT LIKE ROLLING A PIECE OF PIE DOUGH, YOU DON'T JUST GO LIKE THIS,
YOU START IN THE MIDDLE AND ROLL OUT IN EVERY DIRECTION TO KEEP IT EVEN.
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR HERE, EVENNESS.
HERE WE GO.
THERE WE GO, AND IT'S ALREADY WRAPPED FOR THE REFRIGERATOR.
PRETTY CONVENIENT.
WE'LL TRY IT ONE MORE TIME.
PLASTIC...
WATER...
MEAT...
FOLD...
A LITTLE MORE WATER,
AND...
EXCUSE ME A MOMENT, WOULD YOU?
♪♪
♪♪
NOW, THAT'S MULTITASKING FOR YA, GOTTA LOVE IT.
SINCE ITS SURFACE TO MASS RATIO IS, WELL...
HIGH.
AND SINCE TENDERLOIN CONTAINS VERY LITTLE CONNECTIVE TISSUE,
THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO COOK OUR PAILLARDS VERY HOT AND VERY FAST.
SO HEAT YOUR CAST-IRON SKILLET FOR A COUPLE MINUTES OVER MEDIUM HEAT.
THEN YOU CAN SEASON YOUR MEAT THUSLY,
A LITTLE BIT OF OIL,
A LITTLE BIT OF SALT, KOSHER, OF COURSE,
A WEE BIT OF FRESHLY GROUND PEPPER,
AND THEN INVERT ONTO YOUR HAND.
A LITTLE BIT OF OIL,
LITTLE BIT OF SALT, LITTLE BIT OF PEPPER,
NOW, TO THE HEAT WE GO.
THE PROBLEM WITH COOKING A PIECE OF MEAT THIS THIN IN A PAN LIKE THIS,
IS THAT IT'S JUST HARD TO GET DOWN IN THERE AND WORK WITH IT.
SO MY RULE IS, DON'T!
WE'LL JUST TURN THE PAN OVER, NO PROBLEM.
JUST BRUSH ON A LITTLE BIT OF OIL, AND DOWN IT GOES.
IT'S ONLY GONNA TAKE ABOUT TEN SECONDS PER SIDE,
SO WORK QUICKLY TO GET THE OTHER MEAT DONE.
THERE WE GO, NOW BY THE TIME THE THIRD ONE GOES DOWN,
ODDS ARE GOOD THAT THE FIRST WILL BE READY TO FLIP.
OBVIOUSLY SPEED IS A REAL BENEFIT HERE.
THAT ONE FOLDED OVER A LITTLE BIT, THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
AS SOON AS THESE ARE BROWN ON THIS SIDE, AND THEY ARE,
LET'S GET THESE OFF TO THE PLATE.
THEY'RE STILL GONNA BE A LITTLE BIT RED IN THE MIDDLE
AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY WE WANT THEM.
TO SERVE, JUST PRETEND IT'S CARPACCIO,
DRIZZLE ON A LITTLE OLIVE OIL, GRATE ON SOME GOOD PARMESAN CHEESE,
SPRINKLE ON SOME CAPERS,
YOU COULD EVEN PUT A LITTLE SALAD RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE,
BUT KEEP IT SIMPLE.
OF COURSE, ONCE YOU HAVE YOUR TECHNIQUE DOWN,
THERE ARE APPLICATIONS APLENTY TO PURSUE, LIKE PICCATA.
(Alton) ROUGHLY TRANSLATED, PICCATA MEANS SHARP,
AND IT REFERS TO AN ENTIRE CLASS OF DISHES FEATURING
VERY THIN CUTLETS COOKED IN A PAN AND SERVED WITH A SHARP, OR PICCATA, SAUCE.
NOW CLASSICALLY SPEAKING, VEAL IS THE LEADING CUTLET IN PICCATA RECIPES.
BUT CHICKEN, PORK, AND EVEN TURKEY DO VERY NICELY.
IN FACT, I PREFER TURKEY BECAUSE I THINK IT'S TASTY
AND IT'S VERY EASY TO CUTLETIZE.
START BY SLICING YOUR TURKEY BREAST CROSSWISE INTO 1/2-INCH SLICES,
THEN COVER WITH THE PLASTIC WRAP AND POUND AS WE HAVE SO MANY TIMES BEFORE.
BUT BE GENTLE, IT'S REALLY EASY TO TEAR TURKEY.
NOW WHEN THE PIECE IS BASICALLY TWICE ITS ORIGINAL SIZE, YOU KNOW, FLATTER-WISE AT LEAST,
SEASON SIDE A WITH KOSHER SALT AND PEPPER,
THEN PLACE SIDE A DOWN INTO THE FLOUR AND SEASON SIDE B,
THEN FLIP TO COAT.
NOW WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A HEAVY COATING HERE,
SO MAKE SURE YOU DUST OFF THE EXCESS FLOUR BEFORE YOU ADD IT TO A PAN,
IN WHICH YOU HAVE HEATED TWO TABLESPOONS OF OLIVE OIL,
AND FOUR TABLESPOONS OF UNSALTED BUTTER OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT.
WHEN BROWN ON BOTH SIDES, A COUPLE OF MINUTES EACH, I'D SAY,
MOVE TO A FOIL POUCH OVER A HEATING PAD SET TO HIGH,
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A HEATING PAD YOU CAN ALWAYS USE THIS AND A 200 DEGREE OVEN.
NOW ON TO THE SAUCE.
RIGHT WHEN THE LAST PIECE IS FINISHING UP,
JUST KEEP WHATEVER FAT IS IN THE PAN THERE,
AND ADD TO THAT TWO TABLESPOONS OF FINELY CHOPPED SHALLOTS,
COOK FOR ABOUT A MINUTE, THEN ADD 1/2 CUP OF WHITE WINE,
AND 1/3 CUP OF FRESHLY SQUEEZED LEMON JUICE.
LET THAT SIMMER DOWN FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES.
THEN WHISK IN TWO TABLESPOONS OF BUTTER,
JUST WHISK IT UNTIL IT'S THOROUGHLY INTEGRATED.
NICE.
MOVE YOUR SLICES OFF TO A PLATTER,
REMEMBER YOU WANNA MAKE SURE THEY ARE WARM AND THE PLATTER IS WARM,
AND THEN COVER WITH THE SAUCE,
GARNISH WITH A COUPLE TABLESPOONS OF CHOPPED PARSLEY,
YOU COULD DO CILANTRO, IF YOU LIKE, BUT I STICK WITH THE PARSLEY.
ONCE YOU BECOME PROFICIENT WITH YOUR POUNDING PROCEDURES,
YOU CAN MOVE ON TO APPLICATIONS THAT, ALTHOUGH BUILT UPON A FLAT MEAT PLATFORM,
ARE NOT THEMSELVES FLAT.
FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU POUND A CHICKEN BREAST THIN
AND YOU PUT ON A FEW PIECES OF CHILLED HERB BUTTER,
ROLL IT UP, BREAD IT, AND PAN-FRY IT,
YOU'LL HAVE CHICKEN SUPREME.
OH, SORRY, YOU PROBABLY KNOW IT BY ITS MODERN NAME, CHICKEN KIEV.
COMRADE BROWNOVICH, FINALLY YOU LOOK TO MOTHER RUSSIA
TO FUEL YOUR CAPITALIST COOKING CIRCUS.
CIRCUS?
CHICKEN KIEV, TRULY A GREAT CULINARY ACHIEVEMENT,
NAMED FOR MIGHTY SOVIET CITY!
(Deb) NOT SO FAST, COMRADE!
CHICKEN KIEV ISN'T FROM KIEV, IT'S NOT EVEN RUSSIAN.
COMRADE BROWNOVICH, WHO IS THIS FIERY AMERICAN FOX?
FOX?
CHICKEN KIEV IS FRENCH.
NYET!
DA, FRENCH FOOD WAS VERY POPULAR IN 18th-CENTURY RUSSIA.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS PROPAGANDA!
CHICKEN KIEV ACTUALLY GOT ITS NAME FROM
A BUNCH OF RESTAURANT OWNERS IN NEW YORK CITY.
NEW YORK CITY!
THEY WERE TRYING TO ATTRACT RUSSIAN IMMIGRANTS.
PRETTY LADY, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THESE THINGS?
BECAUSE I AM A DIETELOG ANTROPOLOG.
THEN HOW CAN YOU HATE RUSSIAN CUISINE?
I LOVE RUSSIAN CUISINE, I LOVE THE RUSSIANS!
I SPENT A YEAR IN ST. PETERSBURG IN GRADUATE SCHOOL.
ST. PETERSBURG, BIRTHPLACE OF BEEF STROGANOFF.
YES, IT WAS CREATED FOR A COOKING COMPETITION IN THE 1800s.
REALLY, TELL ME MORE.
(Alton) YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO RENT "DR. ZHIVAGO," I'VE GOT COOKING TO DO.
SO, YOU KNOW ISTANBUL WAS CONSTANTINOPLE.
I READ THAT.
CHICKEN KIEV BEGINS WITH A COMPOUND BUTTER,
NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MAY NOT HAVE COMMITTED OUR EPISODE
"A CASE FOR BUTTER" TO MEMORY,
A COMPOUND BUTTER IS ESSENTIALLY A BUTTER THAT'S FLAVORED WITH VARIOUS HERBS AND SPICES,
AND THIS ONE IS VERY, VERY SIMPLE.
WE BEGIN WITH ONE STICK, THAT'S FOUR OUNCES OR EIGHT TABLESPOONS,
OF UNSALTED BUTTER.
TO THAT WE ADD ONE TEASPOON OF DRIED PARSLEY,
ONE TEASPOON OF DRIED TARRAGON,
ONE TEASPOON KOSHER SALT,
AND 1/4 TEASPOON OF GROUND BLACK PEPPER.
NOW YOU CERTAINLY COULD USE FRESH HERBS FOR THIS,
BUT REMEMBER YOU'RE GONNA NEED TWICE AS MANY.
I LIKE THE DRY STUFF 'CAUSE IT'S MORE OF A STRONGER FLAVOR,
A LITTLE BIT MORE ROBUST, WHICH IS GOOD.
LET'S TAKE THIS FOR A SPIN AT LOW SPEED, SHALL WE?
(Alton) TO PREP YOUR NEWLY FORMED COMPOUND BUTTER FOR STORAGE
JUST PLOP IT ON A PIECE OF WAX PAPER, FOLD IT OVER,
AND USE SOMETHING STRAIGHT AND LONG, LIKE AN OFFSET SPATULA,
TO BASICALLY PUSH IT INTO A LOG-LIKE SHAPE.
THEN JUST ROLL IT UP, MAKE SURE THERE'S ENOUGH PAPER TO GO AROUND AT LEAST TWICE,
THEN TWIST THE ENDS LIKE TAFFY.
NOW YOU'RE READY TO STORE EITHER IN THE REFRIGERATOR OR THE FREEZER.
TO BUILD YOUR KIEV, START BY POUNDING A CHICKEN BREAST NICE AND FLAT.
PUT IN A COUPLE OF PIECES OF THE CHILLED BUTTER,
ABOUT A TABLESPOON OF PANKO BREADCRUMBS,
AND THEN ROLL BY FOLDING OVER THE LONGEST FLAP HALFWAY FIRST, THEN THE ENDS,
THEN CONTINUING THE ROLL BY USING THE PLASTIC TO PULL IT TAUT.
JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET THE PLASTIC UP INSIDE THE ROLL.
SEAL IT UP LIKE A SAUSAGE.
LET THESE CHILL IN A SECURE PLACE IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR
FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE OF HOURS, OR EVEN OVERNIGHT.
WHY?
BECAUSE ALLOWING THEM TO FIRM UP WILL MEAN THAT THEY WILL STAY ROLLED UP IN THE PAN,
AND WE LIKE THAT.
SEE, MOST OF THE TIME CHICKEN KIEV IS MADE TIED WITH BUTCHER'S STRING.
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
WHY?
THE LAST TIME I ATE CHICKEN KIEV THIS HAPPENED...
BLECH, I HATE THAT!
TOO COOK YOUR KIEV, TAKE EACH OF THE CHICKEN ROLLS AND DIP THEM IN A COMBINATION
OF TWO LARGE EGGS BEATEN WITH ABOUT A TEASPOON OF WATER.
YOU'LL HAVE ENOUGH FOR AT LEAST FOUR, IF NOT MORE, PIECES.
THEN TOSS IN PANKO BREADCRUMBS,
ABOUT 2 CUPS WORTH WILL BE WHAT IT TAKES TO COAT.
THEN ADD THEM TO A LARGE, IN THIS CASE 12-INCH SAUTÉ PAN,
CONTAINING 1/2-INCH OF VEGETABLE OIL
HEATED OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT TO 375 DEGREES.
LEAVE THEM ALONE FOR FOUR TO FIVE MINUTES
OR UNTIL THEY ARE GOLDEN BROWN AND DELICIOUS.
THEN ROLL EACH PIECE OVER CAREFULLY,
I LIKE USING CHOPSTICKS FOR THIS, I THINK IT'S EASIER THAN TONGS,
AND COOK FOR ANOTHER FOUR TO FIVE MINUTES,
OR UNTIL THE INTERNAL TEMPERATURE REACHES 165 DEGREES.
THEN EVACUATE TO A DRAINING RIG.
MINE IS COMPOSED OF A STANDARD COOLING RACK SET OVER A 1/2-SHEET PAN.
LET THEM REST FOR FIVE MINUTES BEFORE SERVING.
I HOPE THAT WE HAVE CLEARED THE WAY FOR YOU
TO TRY YOUR HAND AT SOME HORIZONTAL CUISINE.
POUND FOR POUND, FLATTENED MEATS DELIVER FLAVOR
THE WAY FEW 3-DIMENSIONAL FOODS CAN.
ADD TO THAT THE STRESS RELIEVING EFFECTS OF HAMMERING YOUR DINNER SILLY,
AND YOU'VE GOT A RECIPE FOR SOME SERIOUSLY GOOD EATS.
SEE YA NEXT TIME.
Captioned by Scripps Networks, Inc.
COMRADE BROWNOVICH, FINALLY YOU LOOK TO MOTHER RUSSIA
TO FUEL YOUR CAPITALIST COOKING CIRCUS!
I'M SORRY, I'M SO SORRY... CUT.