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i'm thinking of buying a VW van.
Why would you want to do that?
i think it would be really cool to have a VW van. They're actually called a bus.
Oh. I didn't know that.
So, how much do you actually know about VW buses?
I just know it would be really cool to have one.
i could use it to carry my surfboard down to the beach,
and then I could change into my wetsuit inside it.
Do you know how to maintain a Volkswagen?
Do you know how to keep a forty-year old vehicle running?
No. How hard could it be?
They seem very simple,
and very cool.
How cool would seem when you have to crawl under it to adjust the valves all the time?
Are you prepared to be covered in oil and grease for much of your life?
No. But think of how cool it will be to drive it around.
Everyone will say, "Look! There goes a cool VW van. Bus.
Yeah, right.
Look, there goes a cool VW bus. You will have to learn how to drop the motor.
Why would i want to drop the motor?
Because every simple maintenance task requires that you drop the motor,
fix something, and put it back in.
Oh. I didn't know that.
How long does it take?
Usually all weekend.
Oh. That want to leave much time for surfing....
No. And then there is rust.
Rust? What about rust?
All VW buses are full of rust.
You would have to spend thirty thousand dollars to get one with no rust.
Do you have thirty thousand dollars to buy your bus?
Well, no.
But maybe I can get one with just a little rust,
and then just paint it with Rustoleum.
You silly fool. The rust will still be there,
eating away at your bus until one day the paint will flake off and there will be
a giant, growing, cancerous hole, eating your bus.
That won't be so cool, will it?
No. I guess not.
i will just have to learn to fix the rust,
and then I will have a cool VW van. Bus.
Bus.
And then I will drive down the hill and go surfing and then change out of my
wet suit in my bus and drive it home and everyone will point and say look at that
cool guy in his cool VW van, bus.
Will you have to drive back up the hill to get home?
Yes, of course. Then they won't be pointing out how cool you are.
They will be cursing and honking at you because they will all be stuck behind
you going up the hill at thirty five miles per hour in third gear.
I see.
That doesn't sound very cool at all.
Maybe I will buy a Honda.
Good idea.
You meet the nicest people on a Honda.
Yeah.