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Wait, who stalks the land? I mean, beautiful women are one thing. You walk all over the
land. Thatís a waste of effort. Actually, you know what my game would be called if I
were the main character? Hermionestalker.
Go ahead. Chew on that for a while.
You know, in comparison to Hermionestalker, pretty much all video games seem tame, uninteresting
and void of mutual passion and desire. But to its credit, Landstalker does come about
as close as any other game could get. Plus, itís isometric.
And the Japanese version has *** and g-strings. No, seriously.
So this game was released for the SEGA Genesis back in 1993 and sent to us by our good friend
Matthew from Canada. Itís strange, too, because itís a game Iíd never even heard ofóyes,
I was a Super NES kidóand yet it kind of has interesting legacy. It was followed up
in Japan by the sequel Lady Stalkerónope, thatís a different game than Hermionestalkeróand
is available to this day on Steam and the Wiiís Virtual Console.
So why are people still buying this thing 20 years later? Well, because itís an awesome
freaking game. Playing as Nigel the treasure hunter, you embark on this epic journey to
find treasure. Not a very ambitious guy, but he does have a sword...and he does know how
to use it.
By pressing B, actually.
Landstalker is an isometric action-RPG, so you move Nigel around in basically the shape
of an X. He can walk on the diagonals, and with the Genesis controller, thatís hardly
an ideal setup. So it can feel a bit clunky without a joystick, but if you get the hang
of things, there really is an awesome adventure at its core.
And actually, that adventure is pretty ambitious, too. Despite the treasure hunter who hunts
treasure. Landstalker takes players through lots of different environments, from dark
caves to busy villages and poisonous swamps...and there are freaking enemies everywhere. In
fact, the gameís really tough, which is fitting for its large scope.
Also, you save by handing a book to a priest. And thatís awesome.
Listen, this is not a comparison of quality, but Landstalker kind of reminds me of a Genesis
Zelda game. It follows basically the same templateóhuge world, complex dungeons, hearts
for healthóonly throws in a little blast processing. And again, in Japan...***.
Itís Landstalker for the SEGA Genesis.