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This animal is an honored senior citizen.
Even animals stand up for "grey liberation."
He must be a member of the AARA:
American Association of Retired Animals.
I have lost a new dishwasher. If you have found it, please call.
Ouch! Who left the broken dishes here?
That's not my set of dishes, Mary, that was your fine china.
Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
My fine china?
My rare, one-of-a-kind, expensive fine china?
Good thing I didn't say who broke her new dishwasher.
Stay calm, Mary.
It's only a dishwasher.
Don't get excited.
Keep
your
cool.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum
coming
on.
Eeeeee-yowowowowowowowowowowowow!
Microsoft Sam, look what you did to my fine china and my dishwasher!
I'll get you for this, you hear me? I'll get you!
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
[BOOM!!!]
LSD. The beginning of something wonderful.
Holy Moley, I think I'm getting high!
So am I. Wow, I'm freaking out totally.
[SIREN]
Go away, Big Bad Wolf!
What an unfriendly restaurant this is!
I agree. If the Big Bad Wolf showed up here,
he'd huff and puff and blow the place down.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Open 9 days a week.
Jeez Louise! They've got the Beatles beat by one.
All right Sam, you goldbrick!
Stop gawking at that sign and get to work! Now!
Chain snatchers often ride on two-wheelers and also go by walk. Be watchful.
You have one head. Protect it with helmet.
Watch out, Mike!
Here comes a chain snatcher, and his chain is headed straight for your face!
[BONK! SCRATCH!]
Eeeeeee-yowowowowowowowowowowowow!
The village called and said it was missing its idiot.
Oh crotch!
That joke is so old, they told it when Moses parted the Red Sea.
What a memory you have, Sam.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Shut up, you ***!
Don't call me an ***, you sonofabitch!
Yield to weaving cyclists.
I didn't know cyclists took up knitting.
Ask one if he's coming or going.
He'll say he's just weaving.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Dr. Clark's Center for Weight-Loss Success. We are expanding.
That must be a contradiction in terms.
Except for Microsoft Sam.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Take it easy, Sam.
She's only funning you.
Keep
your
cool.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap!
Microsoft Mary, stop making stupid jokes about my weight!
You hear me? No more stupid jokes about my weight
you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
[BOOM!!!]
Ye Gads! Sam's tantrum planted Mary in the ground again!
Where is he, and where are the others?
I'm all right, but as for my friends, they're 666 miles below me.
Holy Schneikees! Satan's Kingdom!
Listen, you mangy ol' Devil,
you better not harm one hair of Sam, Mike or the Speakonia Voices!
That's far enough, intruder!
They belong to me and only to me.
Don't ever touch them, or I'll *** all over them!
Caught you again, Satan!
Release Sam and his friends now!
Go away! Now!
And if you say one more word, I start *** on Sam and his friends!
Don't you dare!
I warned you!
[PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP]
Gugh! The Devil pooped on me! Eeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!
[Sam barfing]
Gad! I'm not a commode! Eeeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Mike barfing]
Gross! Eeeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Mary barfing]
I did it! Look at them, covered in ***!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
You're the filthiest ever, you dirty ol' Devil!
Take that!
[KAPOW!!]
No no no no no no no no! Not God's Country! Let me out of here!
Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi...
Serves him right for being so dirty!
Now to rescue Sam and his friends.
Holy House of Drugs.
Great Cannabis! I didn't know the potheads got religion.
The Gospel According to Stoner.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Caution: Bridge Surface May Be Hot!
Where is this place, the Sahara Desert?
Must be the same kind of bridge we crossed after the Angel rescued us from the Devil's lair.
Jeez Louise! Don't remind me!
My bunions are still burning! Ow-w-w-w-w-w- w-w-w-w-owww!
There, there, Sam. I know just what to do about your hot feet.
They've got plenty of ice here. I'll see how much I can get.
You do that, Mary.
Try our new Angry Whopper.
Jeez Louise! How can whoppers be so angry?
He probably was insulted by that crazy milk shake.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Planet of the Apes. Home of Microsoft Sam.
Hey Sam: Happy Birthday to you. You belong in a zoo.
'Cause you look like a monkey And you act like one too!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
You take that *** sign out right now, you *** ***!
Sam, you sonofabitch!
I told you never to call me an ***!
I never was, nor am I now, nor will I ever be an ***!
I'm not a sonofabitch, Mike, and you can't change what you are!
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
ATTENTION MICROSOFT SAM: STOP CALLING MICROSOFT MIKE AN ***!
Well, all right, but only if Mike promises to stop calling me a sonofabitch.
It's a deal, Sam.
Sheesh! The sacrifices I make!
[Whispering] Microsoft Sam, shush the sheesh!
CK Scaffolds. Quality erections.
Kindly rephrase that. You'll make me sick.
Wow! I'm there already. I got that feeling.
Mary, I feel the need to get it on with you.
Keep your hands to yourself, you letch, or I'll give you that sinking feeling!
Oh crotch!
Insomnia Coffee Company.
Tscha! Like I need a cup of coffee when I get insomnia.
If you're sleepy and have insomnia, you don't need coffee; you need cocoa.
Cocoa Puffs, anyone?
No thanks, Speakonia Male 3, I'll stick to Trix.
Silly Microsoft Sam! Trix are for kids, not you!
You have an adult breakfast for a change.
Whoever put up that sign is a fat-*** waste man.
Place hand approximately 2 inches below dispenser.
If no soap is dispensed, remove hand and try again.
That's for you, Sam.
If you get too close to me, remove your hand!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
*** *** *** *** ***!
Microsoft Sam, when will you ever stop calling me a ***?
I'll stop calling you a *** if you promise to stop calling me a letch.
Okay Sam, it's a deal.
No explosive-laden vehicles allowed to park in the town of Luning.
That goes for you too, Sam.
Get that TNT truck outta here!
Okay. Uh-oh! I'm losing control of the truck.
I can't stop! Eeee-yow-ee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi...
[BOOM!!!]
Alas, poor Sam.
We knew him well.
I'm not dead, Mary.
I jumped out before the truck blew up.
Let's go on with the funny signs.
Welcome to Custer State Park. Use any open lane.
Can someone get the buffalo out of the way?
They're not buffalo, they're bison.
They are too buffalo, you ninny!
Whoever heard of Bison, New York?
Up to be Active.
Tscha! Of course you gotta be up to be active.
That's so mundane. How can you be active when you're down?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Caution: door may open any time.
Just don't let it hit you on the way out.
Hahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
[BUZZER]
Jeez Louise! Who's razzing me?
Nobody's razzing you, Sam.
That buzzer means we are out of time.
If your RoflCopter is ready, let's all get aboard.
You took the words right out of my mouth, Mike.
All aboard! We're going home!
soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi
soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi
Eeeeyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi- yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!
Oh be quiet, you cowardly old Devil!
A high colonic never hurt anyone.
This has been a davemadson films inc. production.