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Sir, it's me, O'Malley.
You can't stay in your pillow fort and cry forever.
Yes, I can.
But I've got a surprise for you.
What kind of surprise?
A visitor.
I don't like visitors.
Yes, I know. But er, but this visitor is unlike any other.
You see this visitor...
He's from the circus.
You like the circus, don't you?
Yeah.
Who likes the circus?
Batman.
You like the circus!
Batman loves the circus.
Will you come on and give it a shot?
I'll try.
Very good, sir.
Our guest is waited in the drawing room.
Let's get this tied around your little waist, eh?
It feels nice and secure. There you are.
Thank you, O'Malley.
You know, you remind me of two great men
that I once found out were the same man.
Very good, sir.
What?
A kid?
O'Malley, I thought it was going to be an elephant.
Or a clown, at least.
I miss The Joker.
Give this young man a chance, please, Sir.
He's fallen on a patch of bad luck.
You see...
He's an orphan.
An orphan?
But...
What happened to his mommy?
And his papa?
Both dead, I'm afraid.
And his heart is heavy with dread.
Well, I know how that is.
And he's such a teeny little guy.
You know what?
I'm going to now introduce myself to him.
Very good, sir.
Hi.
I'm Bruceman - I mean...
I'm Batwayne - ***!
Can I start over?
Sure.
Hi.
I'm Batman - ***!
I'm Bruce Wayne.
Charmed, I'm sure.
They call me...
***.
Does that hurt your feelings?
No.
Because it's my name.
*** Grayson.
What else did these little *** call you?
They call me
'The Flying Grayson'!
Dazzling!
Well it's nice to see you two hitting it off.
Can I get you something to drink, sir?
A juice box. And make it a Mott's, *** it!
Very good, sir.
So, ***.
What do you think of my manor?
It's gloomy.
And old.
And the floorboards are warped with tears of sorrow.
I like it.
- Really? - Mh-mh.
Well, seeing as that you're a homeless orphan
you can stay here a while.
If you'd like?
Mister Wayne. May I be frank with you?
Well, sure, Frank. If you prefer it to ***.
I'd been ward my fair share of wealthy billionaires throughout the years.
And it's always the same old song and dance with you types.
Sure, you think it's fun to take in the young acrobat and watch him fly around for a while.
But after the novelty's worn off, I'm back on the streets.
As alone as the day my parents were stolen from me by death's greedy hand.
So what makes you any different from the rest of them, eh?
Who is Bruce Wayne?
Who is Bruce Wayne?
Good question, kid.
Oh, I'm just your average,
run of the mill,
down on his luck
billionaire!
No, that's not who I really am!
Bruce Wayne died.
The night that his parents were gunned down in front of his very eyes.
And from his ashes I arose.
To clean the streets of Gotham of its ***.
- So that what happened to me- - Will never happen to anyone again.
Yes!
***!
I know that you're just a teeny little boy and we've only just now met, but...
- I feel like we're the same. - We're the same!
- Split right down the middle. - Split down the middle.
***, I wanna tell you something.
Something that I've never told anyone before.
Except for a couple of my ex-girlfriends.
And my last butler. And my new butler.
What is it, Bruce?
I'm Batman!
I knew it!
- What? - I knew you were Batman right from the moment you walked in this room.
- But it wasn't this Bat Symbol on your chest. - Oh, f-
Or the cape that is carelessly dangling from beneath your robe.
No.
It was the man behind the Bat symbol on your chest
and in front of the cape.
Me!
Yes.
And now, I have something to tell you.
It's always been my secret dream to join in your crusade
and fight along side as your sidekick.
- Really? - Yes.
- Yea- No! - What?
No, ***. I- I can't.
Why?
I live a dark and gritty life of solitude.
To be Batman is...
is to be alone.
But Batman!
I'm alone, too.
Perhaps...
we could be alone...
together.
And so it shall be.
Now, ***!
Are you ready to take the secret oath?
The secret oath that I took many years ago.
- Repeat after me! - Repeat after me.
- No, not yet! - No, not yet.
- No, I haven't started. - No, I haven't started.
- You're doing that on purpose. - I'm a little poopie pants!
You wanna fight crime with me or what?
Yes, I would like that.
Good.
Then you must do as I do.
To strike terror into the hearts of the superstitious criminal *** of Gotham.
You must take on the guise of that which you fear most to scare...
them.
Yeah!
So tell me, ***!
What are you afraid of?
What am I afraid of?
Years ago
when I was humble circus boy
my parents and I performed together in an acrobatic trio
until one night
whilst performing their most dangerous and awe-inspiring feat
the 'Grayson Dive'
they were murdered.
Mid air.
By a robin.
By a robber!
No.
A robin.
What's a robin?
Is that like a lizard?
It's a songbird.
Oh.
My god, it must be huge!
It's quite small, actually.
Oh.
Well, that's good.
Small is good.
Actually on my first night out, I was Pterodactylman.
But, wouldn't you know it, people laughed at me.
And I think that Batman works really well, because I'm a huge bat.
But I'm a tiny pterodactyl.
Yes, and ever since that night
whenever I hear that cheerful chirp of a blue jay
or a warbling dove
I'm filled with quiet white rage.
Yes, use that rage! Become that songbird!
Yes.
I can feel my transformation beginning.
Yes. Yes, I like that.
What- what are you doing with your fingers?
Those are my feathers.
Yeah.
From this moment forward
the rogues of Gotham
shall tremble in fear
before the tweeting song...
of...
The Robin!
Oh, it's you!
You look just like a giant bird!
I'm sorry for frightening you.
No, it's good.
Because tonight
Batman and Robin take to the streets.
Tonight will be a night-
Of dancing!
Er...
Yeah!
It's nice to see you smiling again, sir.
I mean, for the first time.
O'Malley!
You drunken son of a ***!
Come here!
Don't wait up!
Hey, Robin!
- I'll race you to the Batmobile! - Alright.