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[rock music]
- IT'S SUNDAY BRUNCH.
PEOPLE ARE RECOVERING FROM A LATE SATURDAY,
AND THE LAST PERSON THEY WANT TO RUN INTO
IS ME.
EVER TRY TO GET SOMEONE'S ATTENTION
AND THEY JUST WON'T GIVE IT TO YOU?
SOMETIMES IT TAKES AN EXPLOSION.
BUT SOMETIMES YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY A THING.
[indistinct conversation]
- OH, MY GOD. WHAT?
- DID HE JUST TAKE SOMETHING FROM ME?
[taps glass]
- [laughs] HOW DID HE DO THAT?
- HOW DID HE--BUT-- - WHAT?
HE REALLY JUST PUT HIS HAND THROUGH THE WINDOW.
- I'M JUST DUMBFOUNDED RIGHT NOW.
- [laughs] - I'M LIKE--
IS HE TAKING PICTURES?
[laughter]
WHAT?
- I'M ANDREW MAYNE.
I'M A MAGICIAN.
AND I LOVE...
TO SCREW WITH PEOPLE.
- AAH! - WHOA.
[exclaiming]
- WHAT HE DID? - OH, MY GOD.
- ON THE STREET, IN PUBLIC, IN PRIVATE...
MY WORK HERE IS DONE.
I ESPECIALLY LOVE TO MESS WITH THOSE
WHO NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON.
- I'M BIGGER THAN YOU. - I'M FAST.
DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE YOU WANT TO GET EVEN WITH?
SOMEONE WHO'S DONE YOU WRONG?
- [gasps] - I'LL FIND YOU.
- I'M THE IDIOT. - THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING.
- WHAT THE-- - OH, MY GOD!
- HOW DID HE--BUT--
OH, MY GOD.
- HOW YOU DOING? - HI.
- I'M FINE.
- ARE YOU GUYS ALL SET TO ORDER?
- OH, MY GOD.
[laughter]
- OH, MY GOD!
HOW DID HE DO THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- MAYBE A FEW MORE MINUTES?
YES? - PLEASE.
- YEAH, NO, TAKE YOUR TIME. - [laughs]
OH, MY GOD. - WHAT THE--
- [mouths silently]
[indistinct conversation]
[taps glass]
- OH.
- [laughs] - OH.
- VERY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.
THERE'S, LIKE, NO HOLE.
- THAT WAS--WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON THERE?
WAIT A MINUTE.
DOES THIS HAPPEN TO YOU OFTEN? - YOUR CELL PHONE!
[laughs] EVERY TIME I GO OUT.
[tapping glass]
- I DON'T GET IT.
- SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO TAKE EXTREME MEASURES
TO GET PEOPLE TO NOTICE.
THAT'S WHY I CAN'T WAIT TO HELP TINA,
A DISGRUNTLED WIFE-- MY FAVORITE KIND.
SHE'S READY TO TAKE HER OWN EXTREME MEASURES
TO TRY TO GET HER HUSBAND'S ATTENTION.
BUCKLE UP.
IT'S GOING TO BE A BUMPY RIDE.
- MY NAME IS TINA. MY HUSBAND HAS THIS MOTORCYCLE.
THIS IS PIGGY, THE OTHER WOMAN.
ALL HE DOES IS TALK ABOUT HIS BIKE,
DO THINGS FOR HIS BIKE.
HE WORKS ON IT ALL THE TIME.
HE WASHES IT A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK.
HE'LL BUY SOMETHING AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK FOR THE MOTORCYCLE,
SOMETIMES TWICE A WEEK.
HE BUYS MORE PRESENTS FOR PIGGY THAN HE DOES FOR ME.
I HATE IT WHEN HE'S ON THE BIKE.
IT MAKES ME REALLY WORRIED ALL THE TIME.
THEY'RE NOT SAFE.
WHEN WE FIRST GOT MARRIED, I MADE HIM
SIGN A CONTRACT THAT HE WOULDN'T RIDE BIKES
WHEN WE GOT MARRIED BECAUSE I WAS AGAINST IT.
IT'S DANGEROUS.
SO HERE'S THE CONTRACT.
I HAVE IT IN WRITING THAT MY HUSBAND PROMISED
TO NOT RIDE HIS MOTORCYCLE.
AND ABOUT TWO YEARS AFTER,
HE WENT AND BOUGHT HIS NEXT MOTORCYCLE
AFTER SELLING HIS FIRST ONE.
I COULD SUE HIM IF I WANTED TO.
SO WE HAVE TWO LITTLE GIRLS.
AND EVER SINCE WE GOT MARRIED,
THIS BIKE HAS TAKEN OVER OUR FAMILY.
I LOVE MY HUSBAND.
IT'S JUST THE BIKE THAT I CAN'T STAND.
- LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT-- YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL,
AND HE NAMED HIS MISTRESS...
both: PIGGY.
- YEAH. HE DOES CALL HER PIGGY.
LIKE, "I'M GONNA GO TAKE PIGGY TO THE CANYON AND--
OR GO WITH MY FRIENDS."
YEAH.
- YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND. - I DO.
- YOU LIKE HIS ARMS. - MM-HMM.
- HIS LEGS. - MM-HMM.
- HIS OTHER BITS.
- OKAY.
- ALL ATTACHED.
IT'S NOT LIKE HE BRINGS THE KIDS ON THE MOTORCYCLE,
JUST ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
- THEY HAVE THE NEW DIRT BIKES NOW.
- WAIT, WAIT.
SAY THAT AGAIN?
- HE HAS MY KIDS RIDING A SMALL ONE THAT--
- HE'S PUT YOUR KIDS ON MOTORCYCLES.
- YES.
- WOW.
- YEAH. - ALL RIGHT.
WE NEED TO MAKE THE POINT--
WE NEED TO GET ACROSS WHAT YOU'RE FEELING.
IT'S DANGEROUS FOR LITTLE KIDS.
SO I DID SOME SURVEILLANCE.
WELL, WHO ARE THESE LOVELY PEOPLE?
- MY KIDS. - YOUR KIDS ARE ADORABLE.
I WOULD LOCK THEM UP AND PROTECT THEM
IN SOME TOWER FOREVER AND EVER.
I WOULD CERTAINLY NOT LET THEM RIDE AROUND ON ONE OF THOSE.
- LIKE, SERIOUSLY.
- IS THAT YOUR HUSBAND? - YES, IT IS.
- WHO'S THAT? - THAT'S PIGGY.
UGH.
- I NOTICED YOUR VOICE CHANGED WHEN I ASKED YOU THAT.
I SHOULD JUST DELETE PIGGY FROM REALITY?
- THAT'D BE GREAT.
[banging on glass]
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. WEIRDOS.
- [laughs]
- SO MY QUESTION IS,
DOES IT MATTER HOW WE GET PIGGY OUT OF THE WAY?
- NO.
- HOW ABOUT A SLEDGEHAMMER?
- A SLEDGEHAMMER? YEAH.
- A WRECKING BALL?
- THAT SOUNDS GOOD. - HOW ABOUT A CANNON?
- IF I HAD THE MEANS TO, WHY NOT?
YEAH.
- I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK.
- INTERESTING.
- SO I JUST NEED TO ASK YOU ONE THING.
- OKAY. - DO YOU TRUST ME?
- I TRUST YOU. - GOOD ANSWER.
AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU BREAK A CONTRACT,
THERE'S USUALLY A PENALTY. - UH-HUH.
- MAYBE A PENALTY SHOULD BE PAID.
DO YOU AGREE? - YES.
- ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN.
HE'LL GET THE POINT.
- OKAY.
- WE'LL BE IN TOUCH, ALL RIGHT? - OKAY.
- THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.
- HEY, I THINK THAT GUY NEEDS SOME SALT.
TINA'S NUMBER ONE CONCERN IS STOPPING AUDY
FROM BECOMING ROADKILL.
GOING OUT ON A MOTORCYCLE CRASH
MAKES IT REALLY HARD TO HAVE AN OPEN CASKET FUNERAL.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
HERE'S THE THING--
WHEN IT COMES TO BIKE SAFETY,
YOUR BEST BET IS TO HAVE IT LOCKED UP.
PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT WHEN I MESS WITH THEIR STUFF.
BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
I CONSIDER IT A PUBLIC SERVICE.
NICE BIKE, MAN.
- THANKS, DUDE.
- WHAT DO YOU GOT, A BIG, STRONG LOCK ON THERE?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
- UH, YOU KNOW-- - A COMBINATION LOCK?
- YEAH. - OH, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
WHAT DID YOU USE, LIKE, YOUR BIRTH DATE
OR SOMETHING?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM. THEY'RE WITH ME.
- [scoffs] - OKAY?
I'M GONNA HELP YOU SECURE YOUR BIKE SO NOBODY STEALS IT.
SOUND GOOD? WE DON'T NEED THAT.
WE DON'T NEED THAT.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GO GRAB YOUR BACK TIRE.
YOU'RE GONNA PICK THIS UP.
OKAY, HOLD ONTO IT.
[bike clanks] YOU'RE SECURE.
- WHAT THE [bleep]?
WHAT THE [bleep]?
- I'M GONNA HELP YOU SECURE YOUR BIKE.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GO GRAB YOUR BACK TIRE.
YOU'RE GONNA PICK THIS UP.
OKAY, HOLD ONTO IT. ALL RIGHT?
JUST LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE SECURE.
- WHAT THE [bleep]?
WHAT THE [bleep] DID YOU JUST DO, BRO?
HEY!
WHAT THE [bleep] DID YOU JUST DO, BRO?
HOW AM I GONNA GET HOME?
WHAT THE [bleep]?
- I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO SECURE YOUR BIKE
WITHOUT A BIKE LOCK.
I'VE BEEN COMING UP WITH WAYS TO KEEP BIKES SAFE.
- CAN I BE HONEST?
I DON'T QUITE TRUST YOUR BIKE LOCK SYSTEM.
- I DON'T TRUST YOUR SHAMPOO. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
- [laughs]
- JUST LIKE THAT, ALL RIGHT?
AND JUST--BOOM.
- WAIT, REALLY?
WHAT?
[bleep], ANDREW!
EXCUSE ME!
- I WANT YOU TO HAVE PEACE OF MIND TONIGHT,
TO KNOW THAT YOUR BIKE'S NOT GONNA GET STOLEN.
- THE WHOLE NIGHT?
- ETERNITY? SURE. YEAH.
GRAB YOUR BACK TIRE.
JUST LIKE THAT.
- OH, SNAP.
- OH, THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET THAT OUT.
- THAT'S THE IDEA.
- THANKS!
- [bleep]!
HEY!
I NEED MY--I'M GONNA NEED MY [bleep] BIKE BACK, DUDE!
UGH, THIS SUCKS.
EXCUSE--OH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA [bleep] DISAPPEAR.
WHAT THE [bleep], DUDE?
- DUDE--DUDE?
- IS HE COMING BACK?
[rings bell]
HMM.
- WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO DO SOMETHING BIG
TO GET HER POINT ACROSS TO AUDY.
- DO YOU WANT TO BE A MOTORCYCLE CHICK
OR DO YOU WANT TO BE A PRINCESS?
OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
- BECAUSE TINA VALUES HER FAMILY'S SAFETY ABOVE ALL ELSE,
SHE EVEN MADE AUDY SIGN A CONTRACT
PROMISING NEVER TO GET ON A MOTORCYCLE AGAIN.
TURNS OUT, THAT CONTRACT'S NOT EVEN WORTH THE PAPER
IT'S PRINTED ON.
PARDON ME, DO YOU HAVE CHANGE FOR A TEN?
- NAH, I DON'T. - DO YOU HAVE CHANGE AT ALL?
NO CHANGE ON YOU? I'VE BEEN ASKING EVERYBODY.
NOBODY'S BEEN ABLE TO HELP ME OUT.
- ACTUALLY, I'VE ONLY GOT, I THINK,
ABOUT $7 ON ME RIGHT NOW. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL GIVE YOU THE DIFFERENCE. I'LL GIVE YOU THE DIFFERENCE.
I'LL GIVE YOU THE DIFFERENCE. DO YOU HAVE IT?
- WHAT'S UP WITH THIS HERE?
- I JUST NEED SOME ONES AND STUFF FOR A SODA MACHINE.
DO YOU HAVE THE-- - YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME $10?
IS THAT A REAL $10? - YEAH. HERE, HERE.
TELL YOU WHAT, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
- I GOT $7. - HERE. TAKE THAT.
- OH, HOLD UP. LET ME SEE. - OKAY. HERE.
- SO THIS IS REAL. - YEAH, CHECK IT OUT.
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. - CHECK IT OUT. CHECK IT OUT.
IT'S REAL. IT'S REAL. - ALL RIGHT.
- IS THIS REAL? - YEAH.
IT'S ALL I GOT. - YOU'RE SURE IT'S REAL?
HOLD ON. HOLD ON. - YEAH, TOTALLY.
JUST LET ME CHECK THIS. LET ME CHECK THIS, OKAY?
- OKAY. WHAT IS THAT? - YOU DON'T MIND, DO YOU?
- ARE WE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING HERE?
OKAY, THAT AIN'T WHAT I GAVE YOU.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GAVE ME?
- NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I GAVE YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH THE FACE ON GEORGE WASHINGTON THERE.
WHAT'S THAT?
- DUDE, DUDE, DUDE, DUDE, DUDE, DUDE.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S TRY THIS. TRY THIS.
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
- THIS IS HOW I TEST MY BILLS.
THESE AREN'T EVEN REAL.
- OKAY, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I GAVE YOU.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GAVE ME.
- NO, SERIOUSLY.
ONLY I KEEP REAL MONEY IN MY POCKET.
- DOES THAT LOOK REAL TO YOU?
- WELL, NO, IT DOESN'T. - ALL RIGHT.
AT LEAST THIS LAST ONE. THIS IS REAL.
OKAY, WE'RE GOOD ON THIS? - OKAY.
- WE'RE GOOD ON THAT. OKAY. - ALL RIGHT, COOL.
- SO... - THE INK'S NOT EVEN DRY.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT--
- GIVE ME MY TEN BACK.
- I CAN'T-- IT WAS A SWITCH-UP.
- GIVE ME MY TEN BACK. I DON'T WANT THIS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DUDE?
- I-I DON'T KNOW.
I GAVE YOU REAL ONES. - THIS IS FAKE.
- YEAH, BUT THIS ISN'T THE WAY I--
BUT THIS ISN'T THE WAY I GAVE THEM TO YOU BEFORE.
THEY WERE REGULAR DOLLARS.
- IT'S EXACTLY THE WAY YOU GAVE THEM TO ME.
- HERE YOU GO. - JUST GIVE ME MY TEN BACK.
- OH--
- A CRIMINAL IS WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW
IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME MY TEN BACK.
- YOU KNOW WHAT? - HERE, HERE. IT'S MY TEN.
- OKAY, BUT WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THIS MONEY?
HOLD UP. ONE SECOND. ONE SECOND.
EXCUSE ME. SOMETHING YOU DID WITH THIS MONEY HERE.
SO I THINK I JUST BEEN CONNED.
- CHANGE 'EM BACK.
- NO, I CAN'T CHANGE IT BACK,
BUT I CAN TEACH AUDY A LESSON.
I'VE GOT A PLAN THAT WILL BLOW HIS MIND.
HEY, TINA. IT'S ANDREW.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE AUDY MEET ME
AT THE SOFTBALL FIELD BY YOUR HOUSE.
TELL HIM A MOTORCYCLE DEALER CALLED
AND HAS A RARE PART FOR HIS BIKE.
MAKE SURE YOU STOP BY FOR THE AFTERMATH.
VERY GOOD. [phone beeps]
HERE'S THE THING.
I KNOW [bleep] ABOUT MOTORCYCLE PARTS.
BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS HOW TO MAKE A STATEMENT--
A VERY LOUD STATEMENT.
SOMETIMES RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN.
HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
- GOOD. HOW'S IT GOING?
- ALL RIGHT. YEAH. LOVE THE SHIRT, MAN.
- THANK YOU. - IT'S VERY INCONSPICUOUS.
I DIDN'T KNOW LEATHER
WAS AN OPTION ON THOSE SHOES EITHER.
THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW. DO THEY MAKE THOSE FOR MEN TOO?
- SHUT THE [bleep] UP. - [laughs]
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO BREAK THE RULES?
- A FEW.
- A FEW. WHAT RULES DO YOU BREAK?
BESIDES FASHION.
- HEY, TOUGH GUYS WEAR PINK.
- YEAH. - I BREAK PARKING RULES.
- PARKING RULES. WHOA!
- YEAH. - OH, MY GOD, WE GOT HIM, GUYS.
WE GOT HIM. HE'S HERE.
TOUGH GUY. BACK UP.
PARKING RULES, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT. I GOT A LITTLE TEST.
IT'S A RULE-BREAKER TEST.
- WHAT DO YOU GOT?
- LET ME SEE YOUR WALLET.
- WHO ARE YOU, ANYWAY? - DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
COME OVER HERE. COME OVER HERE, ALL RIGHT?
- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT.
LET'S DO THIS. IS THIS YOUR I.D.?
- YEP. - ALL RIGHT.
[bangs glass]
[taps glass]
LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE A RULE BREAKER.
- THAT'S [bleep] UP.
- COME OVER HERE. COME OVER HERE, ALL RIGHT?
- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE THIS. IS THIS YOUR I.D.?
- YEP.
- ALL RIGHT.
[bangs glass]
[taps glass]
GO AHEAD.
- THAT'S [bleep] UP.
- LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE A RULE BREAKER.
- WHAT THE HELL?
- THIS IS EASY. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO--
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, OKAY? - OKAY.
- FIND OUT IF YOU'RE A RULE BREAKER OR A ***.
YOU READY?
[taps glass]
IS THAT YOUR I.D.?
- [laughing] - LOOK AT THAT.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS BREAK IT.
- OH, MY--
[laughing]
[coughs]
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
HOW'D YOU DO THAT, MAN?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- GO AHEAD, REACH FOR IT.
YOU CAN ACTUALLY FEEL IT BEHIND THE GLASS.
- WELL, HOW DO I GET THIS OUT?
WELL, IT'S THERE.
HEY, BUDDY! BUDDY!
YOU STILL GOT MY WALLET, MAN.
- HOW YOU DOING?
[glass shatters, alarm rings]
[alarm ringing]
- AW, [bleep]. COME ON.
- HEY! DUDE, WHAT DID YOU DO?
- IT'S BEHIND THE GLASS.
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. - DUDE.
I GOT TO GO TO A JOB INTERVIEW, MAN.
- WELL, HOPEFULLY, YOU DON'T NEED AN I.D.
- DUDE! WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE?
WHAT DO I GOT TO DO?
COME ON, MAN.
OH! [alarm ringing]
- WOW. YOU REALLY BROKE THE GLASS.
WATCH--WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
DON'T--LET'S NOT GET YOURSELF CUT THERE, OKAY?
HOLD ON. OKAY.
I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING HURT.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
IF THERE WAS A KITTEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THERE,
YOU'D BE A HERO RIGHT NOW.
IT'S GAME TIME, AND I'M READY TO PLAY BALL.
I'VE ARRANGED WITH TINA TO HAVE AUDY MEET
WITH A MOTORCYCLE DEALER AT A NEARBY PARK.
WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT DEAL IS ABOUT TO GO SOUTH.
AND AFTER HE VISITS MY PLAYING FIELD,
THIS LITTLE PIGGY MAY NEVER COME HOME.
HERE WE GO.
TALKING TO TINA, I REALIZED
THEY HAVE A SERIOUS SITUATION HERE.
IF WE'RE GONNA MAKE HIM SEE THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS,
WE GOT TO DO THAT IN A VERY BIG WAY.
HOW'S IT GOING?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? - AUDY.
- AUDY. AUDY. - YOU ARE?
- I'M ANDREW.
I GOT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
IT'S IN MY POCKET.
DON'T GET EXCITED.
[laughs]
- HONEY, IF YOU LOVE ME,
YOU'LL DO WHATEVER THIS GUY TELLS YOU TO DO.
- DID YOU GET THAT?
- OKAY, THAT'S WEIRD.
- THAT'S WEIRD? - YEAH.
- DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE? - I DO, OF COURSE.
- YOU'RE GONNA DO WHATEVER I TELL YOU TO DO?
- WHY? IS SHE GONNA BE IN DANGER IF I DON'T?
- JUST GOT TO FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS.
FOLLOW ME.
JUST DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY.
IS THAT YOUR BIKE?
- YEAH.
- WHAT DO YOUR KIDS THINK ABOUT YOUR RACING?
- THEY LIKE IT.
- THEY LIKE IT? - MM-HMM.
- NOT LIKE THEY HAVE BIKES, THOUGH,
'CAUSE, I MEAN, THAT'D BE DANGEROUS,
TO PUT A KID ON A BIKE. - EH, THE OLDEST ONE HAS ONE.
SHE RIDES HER-- - THE 18-YEAR-OLD HAS A BIKE.
- THE EIGHT-YEAR-OLD.
- I'M SORRY, HOW OLD? - EIGHT-YEAR-OLD.
- THE EIGHT-YEAR-OLD-- HAS A BICYCLE, RIGHT?
- MOTORCYCLE. - A MOTORCYCLE.
- DIRT BIKE, YEAH. - A DIRT BIKE.
- SHE HAS A DIRT BIKE. - OH, OKAY.
GO ON THE OTHER SIDE HERE.
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME FOR YOUR BIKE?
- HER NAME'S PIGGY. - PIGGY?
ALL RIGHT, KERMIT. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WE'RE GONNA START COVERING THIS UP.
- FOR?
- THIS IS A SPECIAL COVER FOR YOUR BIKE.
GRAB THE BAG.
I'M GONNA SEAL THIS UP. HOLD ON TO THAT RIGHT THERE.
YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHAT'S GOING ON.
- YEAH. I AM. [chuckles]
- WELL, YOUR WIFE WAS A LITTLE BIT UPSET.
YOUR WIFE ASKED ME TO DO KIND OF A FAVOR.
- WHAT IS IT? - YOU'RE GONNA FIND OUT.
WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED, YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT.
- I DID, ACTUALLY. SHE TOLD YOU THAT, HUH?
- WHAT KIND OF CONTRACT WAS THAT?
- I SAID I WOULD NEVER RIDE A MOTORCYCLE AGAIN.
- THAT'S A MOTORCYCLE, I'M PRETTY SURE.
- RIGHT. - DO YOU LOVE HER?
- YES, I DO. - DO YOU HONOR THAT?
- MM-HMM. - DO YOU HONOR HER?
- MM-HMM. - THE OTHER CONTRACT?
- YEAH.
[laughs] NOT REALLY, YEAH.
- WAIT RIGHT THERE.
- WHOA.
WHAT IS THIS THING? - HERE'S WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO.
GRAB THAT VALVE.
DON'T LET GO.
KEEP YOUR HAND ON THE VALVE AT ALL TIMES.
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
DO NOT LET GO, ALL RIGHT?
TURN THE VALVE.
GIVE IT A TWIST. GO FOR IT.
CLOSE THE VALVE.
KEEP TURNING. KEEP TURNING.
PERFECT.
SO WE PLACED YOUR BIKE INSIDE OF THERE.
- OKAY. - COME ON OVER HERE.
HOW MUCH WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BIKE WEIGHS, BY THE WAY?
- ABOUT 450 POUNDS.
- THIS IS THE FUN PART. - OKAY.
[chuckles]
HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
- I'M NOT GONNA JUST LET YOU DRIVE THAT BIKE AWAY.
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? - [gulps]
- STARTING TO GET THE PICTURE? - YEAH.
- I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING THE FULL PICTURE YET.
- OH, NO. WHAT IS THAT?
OH, MAN. I'M WORRIED.
- YOU SHOULD BE. [clicks lighter]
- OH, WAIT, WAIT.
OH!
OH, MAN.
WHAT THE--
- WHAT BIKE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR WIFE WOULD FEEL
IF YOU WENT OUT ON YOUR BIKE,
IF SHE GOT THE PHONE CALL SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR.
- YEAH, I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE HER.
- 'CAUSE SHE LOVES YOU. - YES.
- WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER THAT? - ABSOLUTELY.
- HI.
- AWKWARD.
- YOU KNOW, FROM DAY ONE, FROM WHEN WE GOT MARRIED,
THAT THAT'S WHY I HAD YOU SIGN A CONTRACT,
'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT YOU RIDING ANYMORE.
- A CONTRACT.
DAY ONE.
- AND I JUST WANTED TO SHOW YOU THAT WE CARE ABOUT YOU
AND IT'S DANGEROUS AND YOU-- - I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO.
AND, UM...
YEAH.
- I LOVE YOU. - I LOVE YOU TOO.
- NO TALKING, JUST EMOTION.
THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS.
LET IT OUT.
YOU'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS...
AS THE LAST DAY YOU RODE A MOTORCYCLE.
- FROM THIS POINT ON, I GUESS, NO MORE BIKES.
- YES! YAY.
- MY JOB HERE IS DONE.
- SO NO MORE MOTORCYCLES? YOU'RE NOT GONNA BUY ANY MORE?
- PROMISE. - AWW.
[chuckles]
- SOMETIMES, YOU JUST GOT TO BLOW [bleep] UP.
- WHOA. OH, MAN.
- THAT'S HOW I RIDE.
- HEY, BUDDY! BUDDY!
I GOT YOU, MAN.
THAT'S A LOT OF RUNNING, MAN.
THAT WAS FUN. [laughs]
I'VE ALWAYS ENJOYED MAGIC.
AND THAT WAS REALLY TOP-NOTCH. - ISN'T IT FUN?
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU. YEAH.
- AND THEN WHEN THE GUY STEALS YOUR WALLET?
- WELL, YEAH.
YOU'RE DOWN THE STREET WITH MY WALLET.
I'M THINKING, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- [laughs] - I CAN APPRECIATE THAT, THOUGH.
- GOOD. GOOD. YOU'RE AN AWESOME SPORT, MAN.
- THAT MADE MY DAY. - ALL RIGHT.
- NOW I GOT TO GO TO THE OFFICE, MAKE SOME THINGS HAPPEN.
- ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. - THANKS A LOT.
- MAKING PEOPLE HAPPY-- IT'S WHAT I DO.