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Riley: DON'T try this at home!
Jon: What does that even mean?!
Jory: I have no idea!
Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
And I'm your wicked-hot sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
Jory: It's okay. We're microwaving a cold pack today. We're still in Los Angeles right now, and it is... It's SO hot. But it's okay. I heard it was so cold PACK in Boston!
Jory: Cold "pack" in Boston...
Riley: (extra sarcastically) That was a good one!
Jory: I'm on fire today!
*Jon does a rimshot*
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Let's get outta here!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jon: What're you doing?! Put that out!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: (muffled) Be careful!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!
Jon: Does it still work?
Jory: You're dumb!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory and Riley: 2.8!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is the 2.8 or...
Riley: Yeah!
Jory: I messed that up!
Riley: It's okay. Keep going!
Jory: I'm still getting over that thermometer! We're doing this pack here of cold.
Riley: Instant cold!
Jory: It's one of those instant ones where you break it, and then, it goes off. So, let's put this in Margaret II.
Riley: In she goes!
Jory: In she goes! Okay, how long are we putting this bad girl in there for?
Riley: Cold pack, Alaska, 50 states.
Jory: Oh, wait- "frozen vegetable."
Riley: Sure! "Frozen pizza"?
Jory: Okay, I'll just hit that when I leave. "Frozen vegetable" it is!
Riley: Okay, 'bye!
Jon: Sounds good, chief!
*futuristic whooshing sound*
Jory: "Frozen vegetable"...
Jon: Release the Kraken!
Riley: Oh, it's bursting.
Jory: Apparently, "frozen vegetable" takes 2:37. Oh, wow! That was quick!
Jon: Wow! It's actually kind of blowing up.
Jory: And it burst already...
Jon: Did it really?
Riley: No, not yet.
Jory: I think it did.
Jon: No, dude, it did NOT burst. It WILL burst, definitely.
Jory: It was growing, and then, it just didn't grow anymore.
Jon: That's what she said! Do you have any of that Vi-eeg-ra? I could use it right now! What about a cold pack? I heard if you stick THAT down your johns...
Jory: I don't think... No one... You've never heard that! I wish there were a "***" button on a microwave, 'cause that would help ME up a lot! It would help me out. "Help"...
Jon: "Help me up"? I see smoke, guys. What's that from?
Riley: No idea, dude. (muffled through mask) Jon, get ready. Get your mask on, Jon! I'm gonna put the fan on right now. 2... 1... (makes microwave "ding") Ready, set, go, go, go, go!
Jon: (muffled) EW! It looks like a bit of diarrhea!
Riley: Wait, wait...
Jory: What the hell?! Guys, do you see that?
Riley: (muffled) What the hell is going on?!
Jory: This is the stuff where, when it touches water, it becomes...
Riley: A solid?
Jory: Yeah! Look at that! (makes water bubbling noise)
Jon: (muffled) Crazy!
Jory: It's like it's a heart beating or something! So, you may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave a cold pack? Absolutely! The experiment wasn't the most interesting, microwaving it, but the results...
*Margaret II's plate breaks*
Jory: [Beep]! The results suck ***! Never mind- this is a [beep]ty idea!
Jory: Way to ruin it, cold pack! And that's about it for this episode of...
Jory and Riley: "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
I'm Jory Caron.
I'm your solid, Riley McIlwain.
Jory: What the hell?!
*end credits play*
Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Micro-"...
Riley: I'm hot!
Jory: Are you in labor?
*Click on episode #92 to find out how to make your very own cool/hot *** pack!*