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Hi, my name's Beth Burgess from Smyls Recovery Coaching. I'm going to talk today about
whether you can be cured of alcoholism or whether you can stop being an alcoholic. What
recovery really means. I call myself a recovering alcoholic, but that doesn't mean that I'm
cured. So let's just go into that a little bit more. Basically, you can recover from
alcoholism - you can get over it. You can become someone that no longer needs to drink.
But there are certain things that you don't really ever get over.
So, when people say you can't be cured of alcoholism, it means that when you've crossed
that line into alcoholic drinking and addiction, you can't ever go back to moderation. If you're
not sure whether you're an addict or a heavy drinker, check out some more of my videos.
There's some about the clear signs of actual addiction and alcoholism, as opposed to heavy
drinking. But if you have crossed that line, you can't ever go back to moderating - you
have to be abstinent, because hen you've developed this whole phenomenon of craving, so if you
ave one drink, you always end up having more. It's impossible not to, because the cravings
are so intense. Or it's impossible to manage it for any length of time. You might manage
a week. I never have, but you may mange it for a week and then it all goes pear-shaped.
So what does being in recovery mean, then, if it doesn't mean that you're cured? What
it means basically, for example, I no longer need to have a drink, and I don't - I'm
abstinent - which is basically because I've changed my way of responding to things. My
old response to things was, if a problem happened, I would drink. I would just drink. That would
be my response to it. If something stressed me out, I would drink. Sometimes if I was
happy for no reason, I would drink. My response to everything in life was basically to drink.
I drank to deal with life, to deal with people, to deal with situations, to deal with anxiety,
everything. I used to drink.
And that's no longer the case. I don't need to any more. I have much better coping mechanisms.
So, you can be in recovery, when you've got to that stage, when problems happen, you don't
immediately go: "God, I need to have a drink!" You can achieve that sort of recovery in different
ways. In my practice, I use Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, which is DBT, NLP as well - neuro-linguistic
programming - and coaching. And I've found that to be really, really effective actually,
to change your thinking so you no longer need to have that response to drink on every occasion.
so, that's how you can reach recovery, but what about this cure thing? there are some
things that never go. One of the things that never goes is the fact that once you've crossed
that line, you can't go back to normal drinking. It just doesn't happen. I think we've all
experimented with that at certain points in our recovery, and it's like "No, that doesn't
work." I can tell you that now.
Another thing that remains is that even though you change your thinking, so maybe you're
a more positive person and you learn to respond to life better, there will always be (and
it's a really weird, illogical symptom), there will always be that crazy thinking sometimes.
I call it 'Addict Brain'. Sometimes out of absolutely nowhere, it doesn't matter how
happy you are in your life, how well things are going, that little voice will pop into
your head and go: "Ooh you know what, it's been like 4 years - maybe I could just have
a drink now." Something that happened to me - I had, again bizarrely, I had 3 days
where I was absolutely on top of the world, things were going great in my life, and this
strange little voice just popped into my head and said "You know what? You used t drink
when you were depressed really, when you were stressed out. If you had a drink when you
were actually happy, you probably wouldn't go down that same spiral of binging!" That
sort of ridiculous thought, that just comes out of absolutely nowhere!
Like I said, it can happen when you're happy, it can happen when you're...any time at all.
And this is why I always recommend people to get ongoing support with addiction, because
you will have these thoughts for the rest of your life, more or less. Now, I don't think
about drinking on a day-to-day basis. I don't even consider it when a problem comes up.
My response now is "How can I solve this situation?" I don't think about responding
by having a drink. but I still have these thoughts, even though I don't want to drink,
I still sometimes have these thoughts. And that's why it's important to stay around people
who are in recovery. Fellowships are great for this - going to AA or NA , or whatever-
they're great for that because they kind of remind you. If you go, I don't know - I know
people that go a lot. I don't go that often: maybe once every two weeks or something, just
to pop in and listen to other addicts and hear this stuff, and it kind of reminds you
that, actually, my brain's still a little bit screwed up. And you hear that other people
have these thoughts, it's kind of a lifelong thing.
Sometimes it will happen less. I find that if you increase the amount of time you spend
around other addicts, it will happen less. If you tend to isolate, it will happen more,
because you're kind of defenceless. your bran starts going off on this weird little "Ooh,
maybe if I tried it this time, it would just be one." So you really have to be careful
with alcoholism. This is why a lot of people relapse. you can relapse after 20 years of
not drinking, just because you isolate yourself and aren't around people who can protect you
against that little voice. so, basically, you can recover from alcoholism. You can have
this amazing life. you can be positive. you can not drink any more. you can not want to
drink any more. And all that. But if you have been an alcoholic, you will never be able
to drink again, and you will not get rid of some of the screwy thinking that comes with
it.
It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a symptom of alcoholism. It's part of the illness.
You probably had it actually when you were drinking, that whole thing of being convinced
just before having a drink that this time, you would only have one. that happened so
often to me. That kept me in a relapse for about a year and a half once. But it happens
when you're sober. It happens when you're sober, happens when you're in recovery, happens
when you're really happy. It just happens. And you kind of have to be around other addicts
to help you cope with that.
OK so it's mostly good news, and the fact that you can actually control these screwy
thoughts by constantly reminding yourself of what your illness is, who you are, and
the fact that you don't have to give in to these little crazy thoughts. OK that can really
help,. So, I hope that's helped you and I'll speak to you soon. I'll put the link to my
website below- there's more articles there. check out all my other videos on You tube
and I hope they'll help you too. Alright, take care. I'll speak to you soon. Bye.