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>> COMING UP ON "MARRIAGETODAY
WITH JIMMY & KAREN"...
Jimmy Evans: IF WE ARE GOING TO
HAVE INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE,
IT MEANS WE TRUST EACH OTHER.
A MAN TRUSTS AN HONORING WOMAN,
AND A WOMAN TRUSTS A SACRIFICIAL
MALE. AND WHEN THE BIBLE TELLS
WOMEN TO RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS
AND MEN TO LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN,
HE'S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE'S
TELLING YOU HOW TO HAVE THE KEY
TO YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART AND TO
ESTABLISH TRUST AND INTIMACY
IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.
MARRIAGE IS A PARADOX IN AMERICA
TODAY. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT EVEN
THOUGH 93% OF ADULTS SAY THAT
HAVING A STABLE MARRIAGE FOR A
LIFETIME WAS VERY IMPORTANT
TO THEM, LESS THAN HALF BELIEVE
THAT IT IS STILL POSSIBLE TO
ATTAIN. PEOPLE HAVEN'T LOST THE
DREAM OF MARRIAGE, THEY'VE LOST
THE HOPE. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT
MARRIAGE STILL WORKS. THE
PROBLEM ISN'T WITH MARRIAGE,
IT'S WITH OUR IGNORANCE AND
MISUNDERSTANDING OF IT. TODAY
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE PERFECT
PLAN FOR MARRIAGE THAT WILL GIVE
YOU THE KEY TO YOUR SPOUSE'S
HEART.
YOU HAVE A 100% CHANCE OF
SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE. BUT YOU
HAVE TO DO IT GOD'S WAY. AND I
WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME REALLY
GOOD NEWS. GOD HAS A WAY. AND
HIS PERFECT PLAN FOR MARRIAGE
IS FOUND IN THE BIBLE. AND IF WE
WILL FOLLOW THIS PLAN, IT WILL
WORK FOR US AND WE CAN HAVE AN
INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE. WE
TRULY CAN. GOD NEVER CREATES
ANYTHING TO FAIL. GOD NEVER
CREATES ANYTHING TO HURT US OR
FRUSTRATE US. THE REASON THAT
MARRIAGE IS FAILING TODAY IS
JUST SIMPLY WE'RE TRYING TO DO
IT DIFFERENT THAN GOD DESIGNED
IT TO BE. AND SO WHEN WE DO IT
GOD'S WAY, WE CAN SUCCEED.
SO EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5I'M
ACTUALLY GOING TO BEGIN WITH AN
INCOMPLETE SENTENCE THIS IS
VERSE 21, AND I'M SAYING THIS
BECAUSE OF WHAT VERSE 22 SAYS.
IT SAYS, "SUBMITTING TO ONE
ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD."
THAT'S VERSE 21, EPHESIANS 5:21.
THEN IT SAYS, "WIVES, SUBMIT TO
YOUR OWN HUSBANDS AS TO THE
LORD, FOR THE HUSBAND IS THE
HEAD OF THE WIFE, AS ALSO CHRIST
IS HEAD OF THE CHURCH, AND HE IS
THE SAVIOR OF THE BODY.
THEREFORE JUST AS THE CHURCH IS
SUBJECT TO CHRIST, SO LET THE
WIVES BE TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS
IN EVERYTHING. HUSBANDS, LOVE
YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST ALSO
LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE
HIMSELF FOR HER THAT HE MIGHT
SANCTIFY AND CLEANSE HER
WITH THE WASHING
OF WATER BY THE WORD THAT HE
MIGHT PRESENT HER TO HIMSELF A
GLORIOUS CHURCH, NOT HAVING SPOT
OR WRINKLE OR ANY SUCH THING,
BUT THAT SHE SHOULD BE HOLY AND
WITHOUT BLEMISH. SO HUSBANDS
OUGHT TO LOVE THEIR OWN WIVES AS
THEIR OWN BODIES. HE WHO LOVES
HIS WIFE LOVES HIMSELF, FOR
NO ONE EVER HATED HIS OWN FLESH
BUT NOURISHES AND CHERISHES IT
JUST AS THE LORD DOES THE
CHURCH. FOR WE ARE MEMBERS OF
HIS BODY, OF HIS FLESH AND OF
HIS BONES. FOR THIS REASON,
A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND
HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS
WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME
ONE FLESH. THIS IS A GREAT
MYSTERY, BUT I SPEAK CONCERNING
CHRIST AND THE CHURCH.
NEVERTHELESS, LET EACH ONE OF
YOU IN PARTICULAR SO LOVE HIS
OWN WIFE AS HIMSELF AND LET THE
WIFE SEE THAT SHE RESPECTS HER
HUSBAND." I WANT TO SAY ONE MORE
TIME, THERE IS NO PLAN "B".
GOD DOESN'T NEED A PLAN "B".
PLAN "A" IS PERFECT. AND SO WHEN
I'M COUNSELING PEOPLE IN
MARRIAGE, I GO TO THE BIBLE AND
I READ EPHESIANS CHAPTER 5 TO
COUPLES WHO ARE STRUGGLING IN
THEIR MARRIAGE. AND LET ME SAY
THIS. RARELY HAVE I EVER GOTTEN
A POSITIVE RESPONSE.
FROM CHRISTIANS. THE TEXT THAT
WE JUST READ IN THE BIBLE IS ONE
OF THE MOST DISLIKED TEXTS IN
THE BIBLE FOR CHRISTIANS.
CHRISTIANS. I'M TELLING YOU,
CHRISTIANS DON'T LIKE IT. AND
THIS CHRISTIAN DIDN'T LIKE IT
BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD IT. BUT
THERE'S TWO COMMON REACTIONS.
WE LIKE WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT OUR
SPOUSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IF MOST MEN DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER
VERSE IN THE BIBLE EXCEPT,
"SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND AS THE
LORD"...
[ LAUGHTER ]
IF HE DOESN'T KNOW ANY OTHER
VERSE IN THE BIBLE, HE HAS
MEMORIZED THAT ONE RIGHT THERE.
AND SO WE LOVE WHAT IT SAYS.
NOW, LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING.
WOMEN LOVE WHAT EPHESIANS 5
WHEN YOU READ EPHESIANS 5 TO A
WOMAN AND IT SAYS YOUR HUSBAND
IS TO LAY HIS LIFE DOWN FOR YOU
AND NOURISH YOU AND CHERISH YOU,
LADIES, HOW MANY OF YOU LIKE
THAT? I MEAN, EVERY WOMAN SAYS
IT'S FOR HER. SHE'S IN HEAVEN.
AND SO MEN, THAT SHE'S SUPPOSED
TO HONOR YOU AS SHE DOES THE
LORD. MEN, DO YOU LIKE THAT?
ALL THE MEN LIKE THAT. OK.
SO I'M JUST SAYING, WE LOVE WHAT
IT SAYS ABOUT OUR SPOUSE.
WE JUST DON'T LIKE WHAT IT SAYS
ABOUT US. NOW, THAT OUGHT TO
TELL US SOMETHING. YOUR SPOUSE
LOVES WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU,
BUT WE FEEL THREATENED BY IT.
AND I'M GONNA EXPLAIN THAT IN
JUST A MINUTE. THE OTHER THE
OTHER RESPONSE THAT YOU GET WHEN
YOU TALK TO CHRISTIANS ABOUT
EPHESIANS 5 IS, WE FEAR BEING
THE FIRST ONE TO DO IT. IS THAT
IT'S LIKE, I WANT THEM TO GO
FIRST. WOMEN SAY, I WELL, I
WOULD SUBMIT TO HIM LIKE THE
LORD IF HE ACTED ANYTHING
REMOTELY LIKE JESUS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE ACTS LIKE THE DEVIL. AND IF I
SUBMITTED TO HIM OR RESPECTED
HIM, IT WOULD JUST ENCOURAGE HIM
AND I AM ON A MISSION BY GOD TO
HUMBLE THIS MAN.
I AM THE ONLY THING KEEPING HIM
HUMBLE. AND SO I DON'T WANT TO
FEED THE MONSTER, YOU KNOW, BY
HONORING HIM TOO MUCH. AND SO
IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, I DON'T
WANT TO GO FIRST. AND THEN THE
MEN SAY, WELL, YEAH, I
UNDERSTAND WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT
LAYING MY LIFE DOWN, BUT IT
WON'T WORK FOR HER.
SO UNDERSTAND, THERE IS NO OTHER
PLAN. NOTHING ELSE WORKS. IF YOU
HAVE BEEN DOING NOW, I WANT TO
GO BACK AND SAY KAREN AND I WERE
ON THE BRINK OF DIVORCE. WE
DID NOT DO THIS WHEN WE GOT
MARRIED. WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT
THIS EVEN EXISTED WHEN WE GOT
MARRIED. AND SO, IF YOU'RE NOT
DOING THIS, BEEN THERE, DONE
THAT. BUT NOT ONLY DOES IT WORK,
IT'S PHENOMENAL, IT'S BRILLIANT,
AND IT'S GOD'S PLAN "A". SO I
JUST WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF
THIS TEACHING TALKING ABOUT THE
BRILLIANCE OF EPHESIANS CHAPTER
5. SEE, A LOT OF TIMES WHEN YOU
READ THE BIBLE, WE SEE IT AS
BEING RELIGIOUS OR GOD'S SOME
FUDDY-DUDDY. THAT'S I DON'T
KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS IT'S
RELIGIOUS TALK. NO, IT'S
BRILLIANT. THIS IS GOD'S PERFECT
PLAN. IT WILL TAKE YOU, BOTH
SPOUSES, BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS
A WIN-WIN PROPOSITION. NO ONE
AND WHEN IT SAYS BY THE WAY, I
STARTED WITH AN INCOMPLETE
SENTENCE"SUBMITTING TO ONE
ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF CHRIST."
MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUALS. AND
WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS, "WOMEN,
SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND AS TO THE
LORD," ALSO MEN ARE TO BE HUMBLE
SERVANT LEADERS OF THEIR WIVES.
MEN ARE NOT THE LEADERS OF THE
HOME SO THEY GET THE BIG CHAIR
AND THE CLICKER...
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THE WOMAN'S SUPPOSED TO WAIT
ON THEM HAND AND FOOT. MEN ARE
THE HEAD OF THE HOME THE WAY
JESUS IS. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO
LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN FOR THEIR
WIVES. AND SO NO ONE SHOULD BE
THREATENED BY THIS BECAUSE
NO ONE IS GONNA BE THE VICTIM OF
EPHESIANS 5. IT IS GONNA BE THE
VERY BEST THING THAT EVER
HAPPENED TO YOU, AND LET ME TELL
YOU WHY. NUMBER ONE THE ROLES
IN EPHESIANS 5 MAKE US
ATTRACTIVE TO OUR SPOUSE AND
CAUSE THEM TO OPEN THEIR HEARTS
TO US. BECAUSE WHEN YOU HEAR ME
TALK ABOUT INTIMACY, NOW,
INTIMACY IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
UNLESS YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO
EACH OTHER. AND THIS IS WHAT
EPHESIANS 5, WHEN YOU DO WHAT
EPHESIANS 5 SAYS, IT ACTUALLY IS
WHAT MAKES YOU ATTRACTIVE TO
YOUR SPOUSE. LET ME GIVE YOU AN
EXAMPLE OF THIS, AND I'LL TALK
TO THE WOMEN FIRST SIMPLY
BECAUSE EPHESIANS TALKS TO WOMEN
FIRST. NUMBER ONE NEED OF A MAN
IS HONOR. IT'S THE NUMBER ONE
NEED. IT'S MEN NEED THE 4
BASIC NEEDS OF A MAN IS, HONOR,
SEX, FRIENDSHIP WITH THEIR
WIVES, AND DOMESTIC SUPPORT.
THOSE ARE THE BASIC 4 NEEDS.
BUT THE MEGA NEED OF MEN IS
THE NEED FOR HONOR. IT'S OXYGEN
IN OUR WORLD. WE ARE SO FRAGILE
IN THE AREA OF OUR EGOS, IT'S
HARD FOR WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND IT.
AND JUST THE LEAST LOOK, THE
LEAST TONE OF DISRESPECT IN A
WORD AFFECTS US MORE THAN WE
COULD EVER TELL OUR WIVES.
I SAID TO KAREN MANY TIMES EARLY
IN OUR MARRIAGE, KAREN, IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY
IT. IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, THE
ATTITUDE, THE TONE THAT YOU'RE
CARRYING IN WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW
IMPORTANT THIS NEED WAS TO ME.
WELL, FIRST PETER 3 IS TALKING
TO WOMEN, AND IT'S TELLING IT'S
GIVING WOMEN THIS PROMISE YOU
CAN CHANGE YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR
HUSBAND'S DISOBEDIENT BEHAVIOR
WITHOUT OPENING YOUR MOUTH.
THAT'S THE PROMISE OF FIRST
PETER 3. IT SAYS TO WOMEN,
"DO NOT LET YOUR ORNAMENT BE
MERELY EXTERNAL; ARRANGING THE
HAIR, WEARING GOLD, OR PUTTING
ON FINE APPAREL. RATHER LET IT
BE IN THE HIDDEN PURSE OF THE
HEART WITH THE INCORRUPTIBLE
BEAUTY OF A GENTLE AND QUIET
SPIRIT"THAT'S JUST SIMPLY AN
HONORING SPIRIT"WHICH IS VERY
PRECIOUS IN THE SIGHT OF GOD,
FOR IN THIS MANNER, IN FORMER
TIMES, THE HOLY WOMEN WHO
TRUSTED IN GOD ADORNED
THEMSELVES, BEING SUBMISSIVE TO
THEIR OWN HUSBANDS, AS SARAH
OBEYED ABRAHAM, CALLING HIM
LORD, WHOSE DAUGHTERS YOU ARE IF
YOU DO GOOD AND ARE NOT AFRAID
WITH ANY TERROR." BECAUSE THE
DEVIL USES FEAR. WHENEVER YOU'RE
WANTING TO BE A WIFE NOW, WHEN
THE BIBLE SAYS SUBMISSIVE WE'RE
EQUALS. MEN AND WOMEN ARE
COMPLETELY EQUAL. SO THIS
ISN'T WHEN I USE THE WORD
SUBMISSIVE, I'M NOT USING IT IN
THAT SICK KIND OF SENSE OF MEN
DOMINEERING WOMEN. WE'RE
COMPLETELY EQUALS. KAREN AND I
NEVER, EVER TALK ABOUT WHO THE
BOSS IS IN OUR HOME, BECAUSE THE
BOSS OF OUR HOME IS JESUS
CHRIST. WE'RE COMPLETE PARTNERS.
WE DON'T EVER MAKE DECISIONS
UNLESS WE BOTH AGREE. I NEVER
DOMINATE HER, I NEVER BULLY HER,
SHE DOESN'T DO IT TO ME. THAT'S
SICK AND THAT'S DYSFUNCTIONAL,
AND THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT. THAT'S NOT WHAT THE
BIBLE'S TALKING ABOUT, IS THAT
SICK KIND OF A THING. BUT WHEN
THE BIBLE SAYS GENTLE AND QUIET,
IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF ROUGH AND
LOUD. AND A GENTLE AND QUIET
SPIRIT IS A SPIRIT OF TRUST.
IT'S, I DON'T HAVE TO DISRESPECT
YOU. I DON'T HAVE TO BROWBEAT
YOU. I DON'T HAVE TO NAG YOU.
I'VE GOT GOD ON MY SIDE. AND I'M
GONNA HAVE A GENTLE AND QUIET
SPIRIT. AND HERE'S WHAT IT'S
SAYING. LADIES, YOU'RE
BEAUTIFUL. AND WOMEN ARE
BEAUTIFUL. YOU CAN'T HELP IT.
YOU'RE JUST BEAUTIFUL.
BUT DON'T LET YOUR BEAUTY JUST
BE ON THE OUTSIDE. THIS IS WHAT
IT'S SAYING. YOU NEED TO BE
INWARDLY BEAUTIFUL, TOO. NOW,
LET ME MAKE THIS COMMENT ABOUT
OUR SOCIETY. THE MORE INWARDLY
DEPRAVED A CULTURE BECOMES,
THE MORE EXTERNALLY FOCUSED THEY
BECOME.
THE LESS YOU HAVE HAPPENING
ON THE INSIDE, THE MORE YOU HAVE
TO MAKE HAPPEN ON THE OUTSIDE.
WELL, I'M ALL FOR WOMEN BEING
BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE, AND
THERE ARE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN IN HERE, AND I KNOW
THERE'S A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
ACROSS THE COUNTRY WATCHING THIS
RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN'T HELP IT.
JUST GOD MADE YOU BEAUTIFUL.
BUT DON'T RELY SIMPLY ON YOUR
OUTER BEAUTY, BECAUSE WHAT MAKES
YOU MOST ATTRACTIVE TO A MAN IS
YOUR SPIRIT. NOW, WHEN KAREN AND
I MET WHEN WE WERE 16 YEARS
OLD ACTUALLY, WE WENT TO
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TOGETHER AND
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER,
BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW EACH OTHER.
WE HAD A VERY LARGE GRADUATING
CLASS. WE'RE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE BABY BOOMERS. BUT WE MET
IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND LET ME SAY,
THERE WERE, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF
CUTE GIRLS IN HIGH SCHOOL, BUT
THERE WERE CUTE GIRLS THAT I
DIDN'T LIKE THEIR SPIRIT. THEY
WERE AGGRESSIVE, THEY WERE, YOU
KNOW, KIND OF, UH, YOU KNOW,
LOUD AND BOISTEROUS, AND I
DIDN'T FEEL SAFE AROUND THEM,
PERSONALLY. BUT THEY WERE
PRETTY. THE THING THAT ATTRACTED
ME TO KAREN WAS HER SPIRIT.
SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL ON THE
OUTSIDE, BUT KAREN HAD A SPIRIT
THAT I WAS ATTRACTED TO. THAT'S
WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER,
BECAUSE I LIKED THE WAY I FELT
WHEN I WAS AROUND HER.
AND WHAT EPHESIANS 5 IS SAYING
IS RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND.
GOING BACK TO FIRST PETER 3
WITHOUT EVER OPENING RESPECT IS
SO POWERFUL IN A MAN'S WORLD,
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND
WITHOUT A WORD, AS HE OBSERVES
YOUR CHASTE AND RESPECTFUL
BEHAVIOR. THAT'S THE PROMISE OF
FIRST PETER 3. IT'S
IT'S POWERFUL. IT'S WHAT MAKES
YOU ATTRACTIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND.
GOD'S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE'S
GIVING YOU THE KEY TO YOUR
HUSBAND'S HEART. YOU'LL NEVER
RELATE TO ANY MALE WITHOUT
HONOR. IF YOU HAVE SONS, ANY OF
YOU LADIES THAT ARE RAISING
BOYS, I'M JUST SAYING, YOU'LL
NEVER INFLUENCE YOUR BOYS UNLESS
YOU SHOW HIM RESPECT, BECAUSE
BOYS ARE JUST LITTLE MEN, AND
THEY HAVE THE SAME NEED TO BE
HONORED AND AFFIRMED IN ORDER
FOR THEM TO OPEN THEIR HEARTS
AND TO INFLUENCE THEM. LET ME
LET ME GO TO THE MEN FOR JUST A
MINUTE, 'CAUSE IT'S REALLY
GETTING TENSE IN HERE. UH...
[ LAUGHTER ]
NUMBER ONE NEED OF A WOMAN IS
SECURITY. AND SO WHAT THE BIBLE
SAYS TO MEN, AND WE READ IT
THERE IN EPHESIANS 5DO YOU
REALIZE THE BIBLE SAYS TWICE AS
MUCH TO MEN AS IT SAYS TO WOMEN?
AND IT SAYS, MEN, YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE A CHRIST-LIKE
HUSBAND, TO LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN
FOR HER. NOW, AS MEN, WE'RE
HONOR ORIENTED. BUT WOMEN ARE
SECURITY ORIENTED. IT DOESN'T
MEANT THEY DON'T NEED TO BE
RESPECTED. BUT THEY'RE MUCH MORE
ORIENTED TOWARDS SECURITY. WHAT
MAKES HER FEEL SECURE IS A
SELFLESS, SACRIFICIAL MAN.
WHEN KAREN AND I GOT MARRIED,
I WAS A SELFISH IDIOT. I DIDN'T
CARE ABOUT HER. I ONLY CARED
ABOUT MYSELF. THE ONLY REASON
SHE WAS THERE WAS TO TAKE CARE
OF ME AND TO DO WHAT I WANTED
HER TO DO. I WAS NOT SENSITIVE,
I WAS NOT SACRIFICIAL, AND I
PRODUCED ABSOLUTE INSECURITY IN
MY WIFE UNTIL I CHANGED. AND SO
WHEN THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT MEN
AND THE WAY THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BEHAVE AROUND OUR WIVES,
NOURISHING AND CHERISHING,
LAYING OUR LIVES DOWN, WOMEN
FEEL SECURE WHEN THEY HAVE A
SELFLESS, SACRIFICIAL HUSBAND
WHO IS TUNED IN TO THEM AND HAS
A SERVANT HEART FOR THEM.
WOMEN FEEL INSECURE WHEN THEY'RE
MARRIED TO A SELFISH, DETACHED
HUSBAND WHO IS NOT IN TUNE WITH
THEM. AND OF COURSE THAT'S THE
WAY I WAS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.
SO LET ME GO BACK TO THE ISSUE
OF SAYING, WHAT MAKES MEN
ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN IS THIS
SACRIFICIAL NATURE. OK?
AND LET ME PROVE IT THROUGH
RESEARCH. THEY'VE DONE STUDIES
OF WOMEN. THEY'VE ASKED WOMEN,
WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND MOST
SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOU?
THEY'VE ASKED THIS QUESTION IN
NUMEROUS STUDIES THAT HAVE BEEN
DONE. EITHER AT THE TOP OF THE
LIST OR ALWAYS TOWARD THE TOP OF
THE LIST IS THIS RESPONSE BY
WOMEN. HE'S MOST SEXUALLY
LISTEN. I'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A
SEX SECRET, GUYS. THAT'S WHY YOU
CAME TO THIS SEMINAR, IS...
WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND MOST
SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOU?
WHEN HE'S DOING HOUSEWORK.
THAT'S EITHER THE NUMBER ONE
OVER AND OVER, WOMEN SAY WHEN
HE'S DOING HOUSEWORK, THAT'S
WHEN HE'S SEXIEST TO ME, IS WHEN
HE'S HELPING AND A LOT OF MEN
THINK, OH, I'M GONNA GET ME A
TAN, YOU KNOW, GOLD CHAINS
AND...
[ LAUGHTER ]
PUT MY LOVE BRITCHES ON AND KIND
OF, YOU KNOW, STRUT THROUGH THE
HOUSE. NO, JUST GRAB THE VACUUM.
THAT'S ALL SHE NEEDS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW, WASH THE DISHES, HELP
AROUND THE HOUSE. IT'S
ABSOLUTELY TRUE. WELL, THEN THEY
DID A STUDY, AND THIS HAS BEEN
REPLICATED OVER AND OVER THE
UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA IS
THE ONE I'M TALKING ABOUT. THEY
DID A STUDY OF THE EFFECTS OF
MALE SWEAT ON WOMEN. AND THESE
RESEARCHERS TOOK MALE SWEAT AND
APPLIED IT TO THE TOP LIP OF
WOMEN. NOW, THEY DIDN'T TELL
THEM IT WAS MALE SWEAT. THEY
TOLD THEM IT WAS A HOUSEHOLD
PRODUCT. 'CAUSE WOMEN SAY, EEW,
GROSS, I DON'T LIKE MALE SWEAT.
WELL, LISTEN TO THIS RESEARCH.
AND SEVERAL RESEARCHERS DIED,
BY THE WAY. WE APPRECIATE THEIR
SACRIFICE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND SO THEY PUT MALE SWEAT ON
THE TOP LIP OF WOMEN. AND THEY
WIRED THEM UP SO THEY COULD
PHYSIOLOGICALLY REGISTER THE
EFFECTS OF THIS MALE SWEAT.
OK. AND HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
WHEN WOMEN WERE UNDER THE
INFLUENCE OF MALE SWEAT, THEY
RELAXED, THEY GOT HAPPY,
AND THEY GOT ROMANTIC.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ISN'T THAT AMAZING? AND SO, GOD
SAYS TO MEN, SACRIFICE, LAY YOUR
LIFE DOWN FOR HER, SERVE HER,
AND YOU'RE SAYING, OH, I DON'T
WANT TO DO THAT. I JUST WANT A
WIFE THAT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,
SHE'S ALWAYS *** AND SHE
DOESN'T NEED ALL THAT. THEY
DON'T EXIST. NOT IN THE REAL
WORLD, ANYWAY. I CAN TELL YOU
THAT RIGHT NOW. AND SO FOR
WOMEN, GOD JUST MADE THEM WHERE
THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO YOU WHEN
YOU'RE BEING SACRIFICIAL AND
WHEN YOU'RE SERVING HER, SHE
BECOMES ATTRACTED TO THAT.
SO LET ME GIVE YOU THE
INTERPRETATION, BY THE WAY, OF
THESE STUDIES. THEY ASKED WOMEN,
WHEN IS YOUR HUSBAND MOST
SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE? WHEN HE'S
DOING HOUSEWORK. AND THEN THEY
STUDIED MALE SWEAT. AND SO
HERE'S THE INTERPRETATION TO ALL
YOU GUYS. YOU'RE JUST A CLEAN
HOUSE AWAY FROM THE NIGHT OF
YOUR DREAMS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S THE INTERPRETATION HERE
OF THIS RESEARCH. SO LET ME SAY
THIS TO YOU. YOU CAN NEVER
THE INTIMACY IS THE PRIZE OF
MARRIAGE. IT'S THE PRIZE. IT'S
WHEN YOU GET INTIMACY, YOU GOT
EVERYTHING. YOU CANNOT BE
INTIMATE WITH A PERSON UNTIL
THEY OPEN THEIR HEARTS. AND YOU
WILL NEVER OPEN YOUR HEART TO A
PERSON WHO IS THREATENING YOUR
MOST SENSITIVE ISSUES.
I JUST WON'T DO IT. IF YOU'RE
DISHONORING ME, I'M JUST TELLING
YOU, YOU KNOW, THE LIGHTS ARE ON
BUT NOBODY'S HOME. I'M NOT GOING
TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU TO HURT
ME. IT HURTS TOO MUCH. FOR A
WOMAN, I'M NOT GONNA OPEN THE
DOOR FOR YOU TO REJECT ME AND
WALK AWAY AND NOT BE TUNED IN
AND NOT BE THERE WHEN I NEED
YOU. IF WE ARE GOING TO HAVE
INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE, IT MEANS
WE TRUST EACH OTHER. A MAN
TRUSTS AN HONORING WOMAN. AND A
WOMAN TRUSTS A SACRIFICIAL MALE.
AND WHEN THE BIBLE TELLS WOMEN
TO RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS AND
MEN TO LAY THEIR LIVES DOWN,
HE'S NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN, HE'S
TELLING YOU HOW TO HAVE THE KEY
TO YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART AND TO
ESTABLISH TRUST AND INTIMACY IN
YOUR RELATIONSHIP. SO NUMBER
ONE THE ROLES OF EPHESIANS 5
MAKE US ATTRACTIVE TO THE
OPPOSITE SEX. UNLESS WE'RE VERY
SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE AND WE MARRY
BASED ON A PHYSICAL ATTRACTION,
WHICH WILL, YOU KNOW, EVAPORATE
IN A MATTER OF DAYS OR WEEKS OR
MONTHS. THAT'S THE WAY IT
HAPPENS IN OUR WORLD TODAY.
A LASTING ATTRACTION IN MARRIAGE
IS CREATED BY HONOR AND BY
SECURITY. THE NUMBER TWO
BRILLIANCE OF THE ROLES IN
EPHESIANS 5 IS IT MAKES US
SENSITIVE TO OUR SPOUSE'S NEEDS.
IT NATURALLY SENSITIZES US.
BUT BEFORE YOU'RE COMMITTED TO
EPHESIANS 5, YOU'RE TELLING EACH
OTHER WHAT YOU NEED, BUT
A LOT OF TIMES YOU'RE NOT
LISTENING. KAREN AND I WEREN'T
LISTENING TO EACH OTHER. I WAS
TRYING TO DOMINATE HER. I WAS
INSENSITIVE. I WAS OUT TO LUNCH.
SHE WAS STRUGGLING. I WAS
PUTTING HER DOWN. SHE WAS
DISRESPECTFUL TOWARD ME. WE WERE
GROWING FURTHER AND FURTHER
APART AND FURTHER APART. AND WE
BOTH HAD UNMET NEEDS, WHICH ARE
VERY DANGEROUS. LISTEN TO ME.
WHEN A HUSBAND COMES TO HIS WIFE
AND SAYS TO HER, I HAVE NOT BEEN
A CHRIST-LIKE HUSBAND THIS IS
WHAT I SAID TO KAREN I HAVE NOT
BEEN A CHRIST-LIKE HUSBAND TO
YOU. I HAVE NOT CHERISHED YOU.
AND I HAVE NOT NOURISHED YOU.
AND I HAVE PUT GOLF IN YOUR
PLACE. AND I'VE JUST AND I'M
SORRY FOR THE WAY I'VE TREATED
YOU. I AM. AND I'LL CHANGE.
AND TO MY HURT THIS IS WHAT I
SAY TO KAREN TO MY HURT,
I WILL MEET YOUR NEEDS. AND YOU
WILL NOT HAVE TO NAG. YOU WILL
NOT HAVE TO BEG ANYMORE OR HAVE
TO SAY IT TWICE. I'M COMPLETELY
COMMITTED TO YOU.
WHEN YOU WHEN A MAN IS
COMMITTED SHE'S IN HEAVEN, BY
THE WAY. SHE'S IN HEAVEN.
WHEN YOU SAY THAT, YOU'LL
NATURALLY BEGIN TO LISTEN.
YOU'LL NATURALLY BEGIN TO MEET
HER NEEDS. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.
IT'S YOUR PURPOSE NOW. BEFORE,
IT WASN'T YOUR PURPOSE. YOU'RE
DOING SOMETHING ELSE AND SHE
WAS JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
WHEN A WOMAN COMES TO HER
HUSBAND AND SAYS TO HIM,
I'M SORRY THE WAY THAT I'VE
DISRESPECTED YOU. I DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND THE WAY MY WORDS AND
MY TONE AND MY ACTIONS HURT YOU
SO DEEPLY, YOU KNOW, AND HOW
IMPORTANT THIS IS TO YOU.
AND I'M SORRY AND I REPENT AND
I WON'T JUSTIFY IT. WHATEVER MY
FRIENDS DO, WHATEVER I SEE ON
TV OR THE MOVIES, WHATEVER MY
MOTHER OR MY GRANDMOTHER DID,
I WILL NOT NEVER JUSTIFY
DISRESPECTING YOU AGAIN.
AND I REALIZE THAT GOD PUT YOU
IN MY LIFE FOR A REASON, AND I
NEED YOU. I NEED YOUR COUNSEL,
I NEED YOUR WISDOM, I NEED YOUR
INPUT. AND I'M COMMITTED TO
BEING A GODLY WIFE AND PUTTING
YOU FIRST. WHEN YOU DO THAT,
LADIES, YOU NATURALLY BEGIN
TO PICK UP ON WHAT HE'S BEEN
TRYING TO SAY AND THE THINGS
THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO HIM.
I LOVE TO TELL PEOPLE THE GOOD
NEWS THAT THEY CAN SUCCEED IN
MARRIAGE. IT'S JUST WONDERFUL
THAT GOD CREATED MARRIAGE TO BE
SUCCESSFUL, AND WHEN YOU DO IT
PROPERLY, IT'S INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AND SO WE WHAT YOU SAW ON
TODAY'S PROGRAM IS JUST A SMALL
PART OF AN 8-PART SEMINAR THAT I
DO, CALLED "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE
MARRIAGE," TALKING ABOUT
AFFAIR-PROOFING,
DIVORCE-PROOFING, RUST-PROOFING,
HOW TO HAVE INDESTRUCTIBLE LOVE,
INDESTRUCTIBLE COMMUNICATION,
*** FULFILLMENT IN YOUR
MARRIAGE. A BIG SEMINAR TO HELP
YOU SUCCEED IN EVERY AREA OF
MARRIAGE. AND WE WANT TO PUT THE
FULL RESOURCE INTO YOUR HANDS,
THE FULL MESSAGE THAT YOU SAW
PART OF TODAY, ALONG WITH THE
REST OF THE SEMINAR. RIGHT NOW,
FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT
TO SUPPORT US HERE AT "MARRIAGE
TODAY"WE'RE A MISSION. WE GO
ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE
WORLD HELPING FAMILIES IN THE
AREA OF MARRIAGE. FOR YOUR GIFT
OF ANY AMOUNT, WE WANT TO SEND
YOU MY BOOK, "7 SECRETS OF
SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." FOR YOUR
GIFT OF $55 OR MORE, I WANT TO
SEND YOU THE FULL 8-PART CD
SERIES, "INDESTRUCTIBLE
MARRIAGE," ALONG WITH THE BOOK.
AND FOR YOUR GIFT OF $90 OR
MORE, IT'S THE DVD SERIES, ALONG
WITH THE BOOK, "7 SECRETS OF
SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." THIS CAN
SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. THIS CAN
CHANGE YOUR LIFE, TRULY. IT CAN
CHANGE GENERATIONS IN YOUR
FAMILY. MAYBE YOU KNOW OF
SOMEBODY GETTING MARRIED OR
SOMEBODY THAT NEEDS THIS KIND
OF RESOURCE. FOR YOUR GIFT RIGHT
NOW TO "MARRIAGETODAY," WE WANT
TO PUT THESE IMPORTANT RESOURCES
INTO YOUR HANDS. AND HERE'S HOW
YOU CAN GET THEM.
>> SUPPORT "MARRIAGETODAY" WITH
YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE THE
SERIES, "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE
MARRIAGE." WE'LL ALSO INCLUDE
THE BOOK, "7 SECRETS OF
SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." THE CD
SERIES AND BOOK ARE YOURS FOR A
GIFT OF $55 OR MORE. THE DVD
SERIES AND BOOK FOR $90 OR MORE.
"THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE"
SERIES WILL SHOW YOU THE
DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE AND WHY
ONLY ONE KIND WILL LAST.
KEYS TO DIVORCE-PROOF AND
AFFAIR-PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE.
HOW TO BE ROMANTIC IN YOUR
SPOUSE'S LANGUAGE, AND MUCH
MORE.
Jimmy: WE'RE CALLING THIS "THE
INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE" SEMINAR
BECAUSE WE MEAN IT. YOU HAVE A
100% CHANCE OF A SUCCESSFUL
MARRIAGE WHEN YOU DO IT GOD'S
WAY. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE TODAY
FEEL LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW IF
THEY'RE GONNA SUCCEED OR NOT.
YOU'RE GONNA SUCCEED IN
MARRIAGE.
>> SUPPORT "MARRIAGETODAY"
WITH YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT AND
AND RECEIVE THE BOOK, "7 SECRETS
OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES."
EXPERIENCE "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE
MARRIAGE" SERIES TODAY.
Jimmy: IT'S GREAT NEWS THAT GOD
HAS A PERFECT PLAN FOR MARRIAGE.
HE REALLY DOES. SO MANY PEOPLE
TODAY ARE BROKEN-HEARTED BECAUSE
OF THE FAILURE OF THEIR PARENTS'
MARRIAGES OR A MARRIAGE THAT
THEY ARE IN OR THEY'VE BEEN IN.
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, GOD
NEVER CREATES ANYTHING TO FAIL
OR TO FLOUNDER. HE CREATES IT TO
THRIVE AND TO SUCCEED. AND WHEN
YOU ARE DOING YOUR MARRIAGE
ACCORDING TO GOD'S PERFECT PLAN,
IT'S GONNA WORK. AND EVEN ONE
PERSON IN A MARRIAGE CAN
DRAMATICALLY CHANGE THE
MARRIAGE WHEN YOU BEGIN TO DO
WHAT'S RIGHT. BUT THE KEY IS
FAITH. THE DEVIL ALWAYS COMES TO
US WITH FEAR. FEAR IS NOT FROM
GOD. SECOND TIMOTHY 1:7 SAYS
THAT GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US THE
SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF LOVE AND
POWER AND OF A SOUND MIND.
IS THAT FEAR COMES FROM THE
DEVIL TO TRY TO GET US TO DO THE
WRONG THING. AND LET ME SAY,
WHEN KAREN AND I WERE
FLOUNDERING IN OUR MARRIAGE, WE
WERE BOTH FULL OF FEAR. WE WERE
BOTH REACTING TO EACH OTHER IN
FEAR. BUT TODAY WE HAVE A
MARRIAGE BASED ON FAITH IN GOD'S
WORD. AND MOST OF THE PEOPLE
THAT I'VE COUNSELED OVER THE
YEARS, THEY'RE FULL OF FEAR.
IS THEY'RE OPERATING BASED ON
THE FEAR OF THAT THEIR SPOUSE
DOES AND FEAR IF THEY DO THE
RIGHT THING, THEY'RE GONNA GET
TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. BUT GREAT
MARRIAGES ARE BASED ON FAITH.
AND THE BIBLE TELLS US WITHOUT
FAITH, WE CAN'T PLEASE GOD. AND
SO MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU RIGHT
NOW IS HAVE FAITH IN EPHESIANS
CHAPTER 5, GOD'S PERFECT PLAN
FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, AND YOU CAN
SUCCEED. YOU KNOW, THIS PROGRAM,
"MARRIAGETODAY," WE GO ACROSS
AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD.
OUR PASSION IS TO HELP PEOPLE
IN THE AREA OF THEIR MARRIAGES,
AND WHAT WE KNOW, AFTER MANY
YEARS OF DOING THIS, IS MANY
THOUSANDS OF MARRIAGES HAVE BEEN
SAVED. DIVORCES HAVE BEEN
CANCELED. WE HAVE COUPLES WHO
ARE DIVORCED AND GET BACK
TOGETHER BECAUSE OF OUR SEMINARS
OR TELEVISION PROGRAM OR
RESOURCES, OR WHATEVER.
AND THAT'S A THRILL TO US.
BUT IT ONLY HAPPENS BECAUSE OF
OUR FINANCIAL PARTNERS AND THE
PEOPLE WHO STAND WITH US EVERY
MONTH AND REGULARLY TO GIVE TO
THIS MINISTRY. AND I'M ASKING
YOU TO SUPPORT US IN THIS
IMPORTANT MINISTRY. ESPECIALLY
IF WE'VE HELPED YOU, IF WE'VE
TOUCHED YOUR LIFE AND BLESSED
YOU. KAREN AND I NEED YOU TO
STAND WITH US, AND WE HAVE A
GROUP OF PEOPLE CALLED OUR ROCK
SOLID PARTNERS, AND THESE ARE
PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT US MONTHLY.
AND FOR MONTHLY SUPPORT, YOU GET
A RESOURCE THAT NO ONE ELSE GETS
AND IT'S THE FIRST AND BEST OF
ALL OF OUR MARRIAGE TEACHING
THAT COMES TO YOU EVERY MONTH.
AND YOU CAN GET IT ONLY
ELECTRONICALLY, ON YOUR iPHONE,
YOUR iPAD, YOUR COMPUTER.
YOU CAN GET IT THAT WAY PLUS
PHYSICALLY, DELIVERED TO YOUR
HOME. PLUS OTHER BENEFITS THAT
WE OFFER TO OUR MONTHLY
PARTNERS. AND I'M ASKING YOU
RIGHT NOW TO CONSIDER BECOMING
A MONTHLY PARTNER WITH US HERE
AT "MARRIAGETODAY." THERE ARE
SUCH GREAT BENEFITS TO THAT.
LISTEN, AS YOU'RE HELPING YOUR
OWN MARRIAGE, BECAUSE LITERALLY,
WHEN YOU SUPPORT US, WE INVEST
BACK INTO YOUR MARRIAGE AND HELP
YOU TO HAVE MONTHLY, ONGOING
EDUCATION IN THE AREA OF YOUR
MARRIAGE, JUST TO MAKE SURE IT
DOESN'T GET STALE, THAT WHATEVER
SEASON YOU ARE IN YOUR MARRIAGE,
WHATEVER CHALLENGES YOU'RE
FACING, YOU HAVE RESOURCES TO
DEAL WITH THAT. WHAT A GREAT
INVESTMENT IN YOUR OWN MARRIAGE.
BUT AS YOU'RE DOING THAT, YOU'RE
HELPING TO SEND THIS MESSAGE
ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE
WORLD. KAREN AND I ARE ASKING
YOU TO STAND WITH US AS PARTNERS
OF "MARRIAGETODAY." AND HERE'S
HOW YOU CAN DO IT.
>> EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES ARE UNDER
ATTACK. WHAT GOD INTENDED AS A
FUNDAMENTAL BLESSING TO SOCIETY
HAS BEEN REDUCED TO A COIN FLIP,
WITH 50% OF MARRIAGES ENDING IN
DIVORCE. CHILDREN ARE BEING
RAISED IN BROKEN HOMES. YOUNG
MEN AND WOMEN ARE QUESTIONING
THE VALUE AND PURPOSE OF
MARRIAGE. THESE ARE OUR
NEIGHBORS, OUR FRIENDS, OUR
FAMILY. WE ARE ALL AFFECTED BY
THIS STARK REALITY. BUT IT
DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. GOD
DID NOT CREATE MARRIAGE TO FAIL.
AND REGARDLESS OF HOW DARK, HOW
DIFFICULT IT MAY SEEM, WITH THE
RIGHT TEACHING, THE RIGHT
TRAINING, THE RIGHT COMMITMENT,
EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A 100% CHANCE
OF SUCCESS. "MARRIAGETODAY" IS
COMMITTED TO SHARING THIS
MESSAGE OF HOPE WITH MEN AND
WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD,
PROVIDING A WEALTH OF BIBLICALLY
BASED RESOURCES THROUGH
SEMINARS, CD AND DVD SERIES,
TELEVISION BROADCASTS, AND MUCH
MORE. JOIN US BY BECOMING A ROCK
SOLID PARTNER TODAY. TOGETHER WE
CAN HELP SHAPE THE FUTURE OF
MARRIAGE IN AMERICA AND ACROSS
THE GLOBE. CHOOSE THE
PARTNERSHIP LEVEL THAT'S RIGHT
FOR YOU. FOR $14, $28, OR $56
PER MONTH, YOU CAN GET THE TOOLS
YOU NEED TO SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE,
INCLUDING ONLINE ACCESS TO THE
"DREAM MARRIAGE LIBRARY," CD AND
DVD LESSONS SHIPPED TO YOUR
DOOR, AND EXCLUSIVE PARTNER
PERKS. AND IF YOU BECOME A ROCK
SOLID PARTNER AT THE $28 OR $56
PER MONTH LEVEL, YOU'LL RECEIVE
THE "EVERY GREAT MARRIAGE" VIDEO
SERIES AND "THE MOUNTAINTOP OF
MARRIAGE" AS OUR SPECIAL GIFTS.
JOIN US AS WE WORK TO REBUILD
THE FOUNDATION OF FAMILY. BECOME
A ROCK SOLID PARTNER TODAY.
>> THANK YOU FOR JOINING US
TODAY. SUPPORT "MARRIAGETODAY"
WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE
THE SERIES, "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE
MARRIAGE."