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Hello. My name is Silas Crowe, and this is my assistant, Nicholackey- Nicholas.
We would like to join the Evil League of Evil, and here are the reasons you should accept us.
I have a stick and I like to hit people with it.
I can hypnotize people with my music.
Hey, can I have your cookie?
No!
MAKE IT STOP!
I am fluid? in 6 different imaginary languages.
I steal food.
I'm also known around the neighborhood for animal cruelty.
I sell stolen stuff.
Here you go. Thanks.
Have a nice day.
Not only do we have all of these wonderfully evil qualities,
but we also do everyday things with malicious intent.
For instance, today, when I finished my school[work],
I only did it because I wanted to go out and do evil things.
And this is the most evil thing of all.
We truly hope that we have convinced you of our evilness
and our right to be in the Evil League of Evil.
Have a terrible day.
Or else.