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It took me somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 years of profound meditation work
to come to the realization that I don't know anything about life
you know, when you start out practicing and working on yourself
you think it's supposed to be exactly the opposite
you think in your mind that you're going to learn
and get all this knowledge and information about God and ultimately
through the process of surrender you realize that this works exactly the opposite
the less you know in your brain the less you can create the universe in your brain
and give it your stamp
and the more there is of your own nothingness inside your own state of purity, of surrender
really being organically connected to higher creative energy in the universe
the more that you're living in the moment
and your spiritual life is not knowledge but experiential
the closer you get to your spiritual enlightenment
we're not congested with ourselves
we're not full of all that
information, and those thoughts and opinions about the way we think the universe is supposed to be
in fact you begin to develop less and less opinion about anything
because you realize its all God's divine comedy
we're all living at the center of God's creation
it manifests as almost a practical joke
that humanity has to deal with day in and day out
because humanity hasn't learned yet
to really attain a state of nothingness inside
it hasn't learned yet to reverse the process
so it keeps applying its own mind its own thinking process to the world
and of course what goes on mostly in the human mind is a lot of craziness
it's a lot of tension, it's a lot of anxiety
it's a lot of opinion, it's a lot of, and mostly a lot of conflict
knowing what's right, knowing what's wrong
and then imposing that conflict on other people in the world
so the less there is of us doing this kind of stuff
the more opportunity there is for the universe to truly guide our lives
for spirit to guide our lives, for us to begin to live experientially in the moment
and by doing that we really get closer and closer to Genesis, or God's creation
so the whole process is literally a major revolution, you know
in terms of human consciousness, it demands that we break down
and transform just about everything we're taught from the moment we're born
into a state of inner openness
and this is really difficult for people to accept
I watched Rudi do this
I watched him transform life in New York City
into dust
I watched him transform life in the world into dust
I watched him do something that I had wanted to do since,
as long as I can remember before meeting him
and then I watched him transform his life into nothingness
and ultimately attain a state of samadhi or oneness with God.
He was free.
He had eaten from life's entire smorgasbord, Rudi
and I really use that metaphor, I used to love that metaphor, there was nothing to come back for
at the same time he wasn't promiscuous about this
A lot of people eat from a big smorgasbord
but it becomes a kind of insane gluttony
Rudi maintained balance he maintained responsibility
he really maintained a rootedness inside himself
that enabled him to draw upon this energy, nurture himself
and at the same time be free enough to live in the world
and to dine on the entire smorgasbord
you know, of what life had to offer
so it's being... living in the world and being free of the world
at the exactly the same time
and he talked in the last years of his life
about the one state of being
that would never be taken away from him and that was the love in his heart
the happiness he was feeling
the incredible maturity in his inner growth, his connection with God
and he always spoke about that, he said when you're 64 years old
that is when that cycle begins
that state of ananda
and he became 64 at the age of 45 he burned up the rest of his life
and i'll never forget seeing him
I was living in Texas, I use to go back to New York
and every time I saw him it was like literally was being with a completely different person
totally transformed his entire chemistry
there was juice coming out of him and sweetness coming out of him
that was a kind of nectar that you could just drink
you know, day in and day out it was so delicious and beautiful
it was that love, it was that happiness
that truly got him to God.
And frankly, that he got there is really one of the great miracles
of the twentieth century because he came out of hell, Rudi
he used to tell me stories which I won't go into now
that were just horrifying the things that he went through in his life
but he never forgot his reason to be on the earth and that was to attain spiritual enlightenment
to transform everything into this state of inner nothingness
that allowed him to become one with higher energy and God
or God or whatever you want to call it
it was an extraordinary wakeup call for me
Because I had never seen anything like it
as I've said many times I've seen... I use to hear teachers talk about that
and then you would ask them well, how do you get there?
how do you do this?
and they would go, duh...
Meditate.
they would tell me to meditate
but I would try to meditate, but my mind is an insane place, my emotions are like...
I can't sit for thirty seconds
Meditate.
you'll get there
And when I met Rudi, well, you know, bring your mind here
open your heart, breathe into these chakras,
there was a technique of how to do this
and I frankly can tell you when I first heard him talk about this
it blew my socks away because I never knew there was a way to do it
I thought you just had to be born into it you were born Christ, you were born the Buddha
you had to wait a hundred million lifetimes to be able to evolve enough
to be born on that level of Padmasambhava or one of these high beings
and then when I learned that you can take your mind and focus it below the navel
you can breathe into the heart, you can feel gratitude
you can use the tools that you were given with from the day you came into the world
as a means of developing your spiritual life
I never heard of that before
and to me was the most extraordinary revelation that came into my life
I honestly believe
this is the greatest gift that Rudi has left the world
it's this little double-breathing exercise
if you really, seriously, practice this thing everyday
it'll transform all the things that are keeping you from getting to God
into spiritual enlightenment.