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-Spider-Man 3?
You gotta be in a relationship for that one.
-Really.
-Oh, yeah.
-See, I thought Spider-Man movies were OK for
girls to go see now.
-Yeah, but they're still Spider-Man movies.
-Right.
-I mean, it's still called Spider-Man 3.
-That's true.
-It's not called, like, *** Street or something.
-*** Street?
-Yeah.
You never heard of that movie?
-No.
Never.
FUCKFORCE (OFFSCREEN): It was a good movie.
EFFNOCKA (OFFSCREEN): Yeah?
FUCKFORCE (OFFSCREEN): It's like Streetcar Named Desire.
-Except with vaginas.
-No.
No.
It's just called *** Street.
That's the street they live on.
EFFNOCKA (OFFSCREEN): Oh, really?
It has nothing to do with vaginas at all?
FUCKFORCE (OFFSCREEN): I mean, there's a lot of women in it.
-Oh, yeah?
-There's this scene where, like, the girl's like,
screaming and the guy's like-- yeah.
-What actresses are in it?
-Uh, none you've heard of.
-Oh, OK.
-They're all foreign.
-This is Trace Edwards with a Q-Sports Zone Update.
It's very unlikely that Sandra Stephenson will make it out of
the first round of Wimbledon this year.
Just yesterday, her plastic leg was stolen from her hotel
room, making it very difficult to balance while serving.
-And I learned, always stay in school.
And never do drugs.
-That's right, Timmy.
Now here's J-Dog with a few words of wisdom for us.
Hit it, J-Dog.
-Yo, this is your man, J-Dog, you know.
And, uh, you know, in the early '90s, I used to think it
was cool running with the Crips and the Bloods.
And that was kind of a problem because they
were opposing gangs.
And uh, I kind of got in a lot of fights because, like, I was
wearing blue and red.
And someone shoulda told me that you gotta pick a side.
But anyway, I realized the best way is to one, carry a
gun, and two, take
responsibility for your actions.
So if I shoot somebody, I'm responsibly shooting someone.
I'm sorry I laughed.
That made me laugh.
[RAP BEAT]
Here we go.
Uh.
Uh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
J-Dog in the house.
J-Dog in the house.
Bring your hands up.
Bring your hands up.
J-Dog.
J-Dog.
J-Dog.
I don't do drugs.
I go to PTA conferences, feeling cool
hanging out with 'em.
I drink wine sometimes in a responsible way.
Coors Light ain't so good anyway.
Like hanging out, and I watch ABC Family.
It's the best show I can even see.
Mary Kate and Ashley also got two shows on that network so
you know it got quality control.
If you want to know, I'm not coming back out.
I'm coming back out with, like, "The Funky Headhunter."
I'm going back in Hammer's library, and I might bring out
"2 Legit 2 Quit" for you.
But you know when I'm bringing it to me, I gotta flow that
smells like potassium, maybe.
I don't know because I like to kick flows.
J-Dog in the hizzy, hizzy, hizza, hazza, hozo.
Don't you want to know, ho?
I'm sorry I said that.
I'll take responsibility for it 'cause I know I
shouldn't floor it.
I don't know what that meant but it's a little for it.
I used to hang out with Mariah Carey, but now that I'm poor I
gotta do this for money.
Oops.
I shouldn't have said that but it doesn't matter--
[BUSTS UP LAUGHING]
BACKUP SINGER: J-Dog, where you going, baby?
J-DOG: I mean, J-Dog.
J-Dog.
J-Dog.
Get down.
Gettin' down.
I shouldn't have smoked weed before we did this ad.
Oh ***.
Oh.