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>> COMING UP ON "RED EYE."
MALL SANTAS.
SELF-LESS CITIZENS OR SECRET
GOVERNMENT AGENTS GATHERING
YOUR PRIVATE INFORMATION FOR
THE NSA?
PLUS HOW DOES THE VICE
PRESIDENT FEEL ABOUT THE PEZ
FACTORY OFFERING DAILY TOURS?
>> IT IS WHY WE ARE SUCH A
GREAT NATION AND IT IS THE
FEATURE THAT SETS US APART
FROM EVERY OTHER DEMOCRACY IN
THE WORLD.
>> AND AN INCREDIBLE BATTLE
CAUGHT ON TAPE.
IS THIS SIBERIAN TEEINGER AND
DOG JUST FRIENDS OR
FRENEMIES?
OUR EXPERT PAM WEIGHS IN.
NONE OF THESE STORES -- EXPERT
PANEL WEIGHS IN.
NONE OF THESE STORIES
TONIGHT.
>> SHE IS SO CUTE CARE BEARS
LEAVE DIRTY PROTESTS ON HER
DOORSTEP.
I AM HERE WITH SUNNY JOHNSON.
A NICE HAT THERE.
BLACK SANTA.
HIS GUIDANCE COUNSELOR
SUGGESTED SUICIDE AS A CAREER
PATH.
IT IS ANDY LEVY.
AND HE IS A FIRST TIME GUEST
SO I WON'T UP RESULT HIM YET.
AND HE IS SO SHARP THAT HIS
FLATULEN CREE E LEAKS.
>> A BLOCK. THE LEDE.
THAT'S THE FIRST STORY.
GREG, THE WAY YOU SHAKE YOUR
RUMP IS TURNING MIGHTY MEN
INTO MICE.
>> THAT'S NICE.
HOW IS THE FILM GOING IN
BERLIN?
>> WE ARE DOING A GREAT JOB
TONIGHT WITH THE FILM.
>> IT IS NOTHING BUT GLASS
TABLES AND NAKED MEN.
>> CAN YOU STOP THAT RIGHT
NOW?
>> THERE IS A GLASS TABLE
RIGHT HERE.
>> YOU LOOK LIKE A PERVERSE
GERMAN DIRECTOR.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
HERE.
IT IS SHAKING THE DUCK CALLING
MANUFACTURING INDUSTRY TO ITS
CORE.
PHIL ROBERTSON, THE ONE WITH
THE BEARD, HAS BEEN SUSPENDED
INDEFINITELY AFTER MAKING
ANTI-GAY REMARKS IN A GQ
INTERVIEW.
ROBERTSON WAS ASKED HIS
DEFINITION OF SINFUL BEHAVIOR
AND HE RESPONDED, QUOTE, START
WITH *** BEHAVIOR AND MORPH
OUT FROM THERE.
SUCH IS *** WHICH IS
NOT SIMPLE OF THE FINALLY THE
TRUTH.
THE MALLARD MAY HAVE
DISPARAGED GAYS.
ADDING, QUOTE, THEY WON'T
INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
DON'T DECEIVE YOURSELF.
IT IS NOT RIGHT.
AND THEN IT GOT BAD.
HE SAID IN HIS LOUISIANA
YOUTH, HE PICKED COTTON WITH
BLACKS AND NEVER SAW, QUOTE,
THE MISTREATMENT OF ANY BLACK
PERSON.
NOT ONCE COULD HE BE TELLING
THE TRUTH HERE.
WE ARE NOT GOING ACROSS THE
FIELD.
THEY ARE SINGING AND HAPPY.
I NEVER HEARD ONE OF THEM, ONE
BLACK PERSON SAY THESE DOG
GONE WHITE PEOPLE.
NOT A WORD.
WHAT DO DUCKS THINK ABOUT ALL
OF THIS?
WE ASKED ONE.
>> THE DUCKS ARE HAVING A
PARTY.
>> AND HE MIGHT LIVE A LITTLE
LONGER IS IF HE IS ON A HIGH
YEA TOC.
>> IT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHOW.
YOU CATCH EVERY EPISODE?
>> YOU THINK IT IS FUNNY AND I
WILL YOU DUCK DYNASTY.
HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN
GET ME OUT AND GOING.
>> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE
CONTROVERSY?
IS IT MUCH A DO ABOUT
NOTHING?
IT IS A SHAKESPEAR YEN SHOW.
>> I LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.
WHEN I SEE THIS ALL I SEE IS
ISMS.
ANY POLITICAL IDEOLOGY THAT IS
FORMED OFF OF MARXISM HAS TWO
PURPOSES.
ONE IS TO DESTROY CAPITALISM.
DUCK DYNASTY FROM BACKWOODS
MAN TO A MILLION DOLLAR
COMPANY, CAPITALISM.
YOU HAVE THE FATHER OF THE
HOUSE WHO PRAYS IN JESUS' NAME
AND HE IS THE ONE THAT IS
SUSPENDED. TWO BIRDS AND ONE
STONE.
CAPITALISM AND RELIGION ALL IN
ONE.
THEY ARE GOOD AT WHAT THEY
DO.
YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM CREDIT
FOR THAT.
>> THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
SHE PRETTY MUCH NAILED IT
LEAVING YOU TO SCROWNG THE
FLOOR FOR SCRAPS.
BUT YOU WERE IN THE GREEN ROOM
AND YOU SAID IT IS TIME
SOMEBODY SPOKE THE TRUTH.
>> BOTH SETS OF COMMENTS.
>> THIS IS ANNOYING BECAUSE
EVERYONE HAS BEEN TALKING
ABOUT THIS AS A FREE SPEECH
ISSUE.
IT IS NOT A FREE SPEECH
ISSUE.
IT IS A PRIVATE COMPANY.
THEY CAN FIRE PEOPLE AS THEY
CHOOSE.
THE SURPRISE OF THIS -- NOBODY
IS SURPRISED.
YOU ASKED THAT QUESTION.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE ANSWER IS.
>> THEY ARE A GOD LESS FREAK.
HATE EVERYTHING.
>> I DO HATE EVERYTHING.
AND YOU.
I HATE YOU.
I DON'T HATE GOD.
I HATE YOU.
>> IT SHOOK ME A LITTLE BIT.
WHAT WAS I SAYING?
>> YOU WERE GOING TO FINISH
YOUR POINT.
>> IT IS NOT A FREE SPEECH
ISSUE.
WHAT THE GUY SAID ISN'T
SURPRISING CONSIDERING HE
BELIEVES WHAT HE BELIEVES.
HE IS A BIBLE THUMPER.
THEY ASK HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS
THE ANSWER AND THEY THEY ARE
FIRED.
>> THEY KNEW WHAT HE WAS GOING
TO SAY AND THEY SHOULD HAVE
JUST SAID THAT'S WHAT HE
BELIEVES.
THE SHOW IS SUCCESSFUL.
IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT, YOU
DON'T HAVE TO WATCH IT.
IS THIS THE TEMPEST AND THE
TEA POT OR A TEA POT AND A
TEMPEST?
Y IS IT A TEMPORARY SECRETARY
IN A PRIUS -- FORGET IT.
>> LOOK, IN 2010, ANYBODY WITH
A GOOGLE MACHINE CAN FIGURE
OUT THAT YOU CAN SEE IT ON
SOMETHING CALLED YOUTUBE WHERE
HE MADE THE SAME COMMENTS.
AND HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO
SAY THIS.
NOW THEY ARE SHOCKED THE GUY
THEY SAY WE WANT YOU TO BE
CANDID AND CONTROVERSIAL.
WE HAND PICKED YOU.
NOW WE HAVE TO SUSPEND YOU
BECAUSE WE KNEW WHAT YOU WERE
GOING TO SAY IN THE FIRST
PLACE.
>> IT IS MORE ON A AND E THAN
ANYBODY.
SARAH PALIN ONE OF YOUR CLOSE
FRIENDS WROTE FREE SPEECH IS A
DIFFERENT SPECIES.
THOSE TAKING ON THE "DUCK
DYNASTY" PAY -- PATRIARC IS
TAKING IT ON FOR ALL OF US.
SHE HAS A POINT.
>> NO.
I AGREE WITH YOU A AND E
OBVIOUSLY KNEW THIS WAS -- HE
IS NOT SHY.
HE GIVES SERMONS AND
PREACHES.
THE MESSAGE YOU ARE SENDING IS
IT IS OKAY TO PREACH
SOMETHING, BUT NOT OKAY TO SAY
IT.
THEY WERE FINE WITH WHAT HE
BELIEVED AND WHEN HE PREACHED
IT IT WAS A BAD MESSAGE TO.
>> IT IS LIKE YOU KNOW YOUR
GRANDMOTHER HAS THE BELIEFS,
BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SAY
THEM IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AT
CHRISTMAS.
>> MAYBE YOU DO, BUT MOST
PEOPLE DON'T PAY THEIR
GRANDMOTHER MILLIONS OF
DOLLARS.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
WHAT HE SAID ABOUT GAYS IS
THEY ARE SINERS.
AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T TRY TO
GIVE LEGAL FORCE TO THE
BELIEFS, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT I
AM A SINER AND I AM GOING TO
HELL.
I DON'T CARE.
HE IS NOT TRYING TO FORCE HIM
TO BELIEVE WHAT HE BELIEVES.
THE FACT HE THINKS THAT OF ME
HAS NO AFFECT ON MY LIFE.
IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL.
>> HAVE FUN PUSHING THE
BOULDER.
>> I WAS IN SARAH PALIN'S
"UNDEFEATED."
THE FIRST PART OF THE
DOCUMENTARY IS NOTHING BUT THE
LEFT IS SLAMMING HER.
THEY ARE CALLING HER THE
WORST.
I AM WATCHING THE PREVIEW AND
SITTING RIGHT BEHIND SARAH
PALIN.
I AM RIGHT BEHIND HER.
I AM WATCHING ALL OF THIS AND
I AM LIKE -- OH MY GOSH I WISH
WE HAD DEFENDED HER MORE.
I TALKED TO HER FOR FIVE MILES
PER HOUR AND THEN I SAID
DEFEND HER FOR WHAT?
SHE IS SARA FREAKING PALIN.
DO YOU THINK HE WAS CRYING
ABOUT THIS?
HE WENT OUT THERE AND SHOT
SOMETHING WHEN IT WAS OVER AND
BROUGHT IT HOME TO MS. KAY AND
MS. KAY COOKED IT UP AND THEY
SAT AT THE TABLE TOGETHER AND
THEY HAD A GOOD TIME.
HE IS NOT CRYING OVER THIS.
HE STILL HAS A PATENT FOR THE
GUCK CALL.
HE IS OWE -- FOR THE DUCK
CALL.
STOP CRYING.
>> HE WAS A MEMBER OF THE PET
SHOP BOYS.
>> AND I DON'T THINK THE GUY
WITH THE BEARD CAN GIVE LEGAL
WEIGHT TO MUCH OF ANYTHING.
>> YOU SEE MY POINT?
>> AND SARAH PALIN, I HAVEN'T
TALKED TO HER, BUT SHE ALSO
HAS A REALITY SHOW.
>> SHE HAS A WHOLE GROUP OF
GAY CONSERVATIVES THAT FOLLOW
HER AROUND LIKE CANDY CANES.
SO PLEASE BE AWARE --
>> SHE DOESN'T LIKE THEM, BUT
THEY FOLLOW HER AROUND.
>> COME ON NOW.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE
BELIEVES.
>> SHE DOES KNOW.
>> HOW DO YOU GET THE CANDY
CANES?
>> THE FACT THAT PALIN STILL
USES FACEBOOK TO GET HER
MESSAGE OUT THERE.
EVERYBODY TWEETS.
>> IT HAS AN IMPACT.
WHEN SHE TALKS IT IS NEWS.
THE BIGGER STORY IS WE ARE A
NATION OBSESSED WITH WORDS.
IT IS NOT ACTIONS.
YOU CAN GET MAD AT THIS FOAL
LOW ON THIS SHOW -- WHAT IS IT
CALLED?
DUCK DYNASTY.
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MOB WIVES
OR WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE?
GROWING UP GOTTI?
THEY WERE ACTUAL CRIMINAL
ACTIONS THAT THESE PEOPLE
PARTICIPATED IN.
>> THEY WERE ON TV BECAUSE
THEIR FATHER WAS A MURDERER.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT GOD.
>> THEY DON'T DESTROY
CAPITALISM AND THEY DON'T
DESTROY GOD.
THAT'S THE THING.
IF YOU ARE GOING AFTER SOMEONE
WHO COMES FROM NOTHING AND
WANTS TO CHANGE THEIR WHOLE
STARS AROUND AND HAS A PROBLEM
WITH IT.
IF THEY ARE SOMEBODY THAT
WANTS TO ACT ON THEIR FAITH
THE LEFT HAS A BE PRO.
IF YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE A
MICREANT, OH NO, WE LOVE YOU.
WHEN IT COMES UP, LOOK FOR
CAPITALISM AND LOOK FOR GOD
AND YOU WILL SEE WHY THE LEFT
IS THERE.
>> I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK.
>> AGAIN, HE IS NOT SAYING --
IF HE HAD SAID I THINK ALL GAY
PEOPLE SHOULD BE IN JAIL OR
PUT IN CAMP.
>> WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER.
>> WHAT ANDY BELIEVES.
>> OR SAY LET THEM GET --
>> IF HE HAD SAID THAT THAT IS
A DIFFERENT STORY FROM WHAT HE
SAID.
THE FACT IN HIS RELIGIOUS
BELIEF HOMOSEXUALS --
HOMOSEXUAL ACTS ARE SINS, WHO
DOES THAT HARM?
IT DOESN'T HARM ANYONE THAT HE
THINKS THAT.
II DON'T GET IT.
IF HE WAS A RELIGIOUS MUSLIM
WOULD PEOPLE SAY THE SAME
ABOUT HIM?
>> NO.
>> BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BE TOLL
REPRESENT -- TOLERANT OF THE
BELIEF.
>> AND THE FACT THAT GQ IS
TALKING TO HIM.
>> TOM BRADY.
NOT AVAILABLE.
CHRISTIAN BALE, NOT
AVAILABLE.
LET'S GO AFTER THIS GUY.
>> THEY KNEW HE WAS GOING TO
SAY SOMETHING THAT WOULD GET
PRESS AND GQ NEEDS PRESS.
>> YOU SUBSCRIBED?
>> NO.
>> HOW IS HE THESE DAYS?
>> NOT WELL.
CAN I MOVE ON NOW?
>> MOVE ON.
I DON'T CARE.
>> HE MAKES ME SICK TO MY
STOMACH ACTUALLY.
SPEAKING OF, THEIR ADS NOW
COME WITH ABS.
IT IS DAY 934 OF
OBAMAAPOCALYPSO GATE.
>> BACKERS OF OBAMACARE HAVE
RELEASED ANOTHER AD URGING
ENROLLMENT.
IT IS TARGETING STRAIGHT
ATHLETIC MEN INTERESTED IN
BEING IN SHAPE.
>>
♪ NOW IT IS A SEASON OF
GIVING.
SMOTE.
♪♪
♪♪ BEFORE THE DOCTOR DRINKS
LUMP OF COAL ♪♪
♪♪ GET ENROLLED, GET ENROLLED,
GET ENROLLED.
♪♪
♪♪ A HEALTH INSURANCE
SOLUTION ♪♪
♪ DON'T LET LEFT IN THE
COLD ♪
♪ GETTEN ROLLED, GETTEN
ROLED.
GETTEN ROLLED ♪♪
♪ WHEN YOU FINALLY MEET
MS. RIGHT, NEVER AGAIN WILL
YOU BE ALONE ♪
>> NOW I SEE WHY OBAMACARE IS
IMPORTANT.
THE AD COMES FROM A GROUP
CALLED OUT TO ENROLL.
2 TOTALLY SPEAKS TO SUPER
HETEROSEXUAL MEN WHO ARE
REALLY FIT.
A KEY DEMOGRAPHIC IN MY
APARTMENT.
>> THE PRODUCER SAYS WE NEED
TO SHOW SOME MORE.
OKAY.
>>
♪ EXISTING CONDITIONS WON'T
STOP THEM ♪
♪ PLANS YOU BET I CAN'T STOP
THEM ♪
♪♪ WHETHER BRONZE, SILVER OR
GOLD SNOWED SNOWED -- ♪
♪ GETTEN ROLED ♪
>> ARE THEY DUDES JUST BEING
DUDES 1234* I JUST WISH THE AD
LISTED CONTACT INFO.
I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO THEM
ABOUT HOW THEY GOT IN SUCH
GREAT SHAPE.
MICHAEL, OBAMACARE NEEDS TO
ENROLL MORE STRAIGHT, HEALTHY
MEN LIKE THOSE GUYS.
I THINK THAT ADDS UP.
>> THOSE GUYS WERE ALL
FOOTBALL PLAYERS.
THEY ARE IN VERY GOOD SHAPE.
IT IS NOT THE ADMINISTRATION.
IT IS ANOTHER GROUP THAT IS
LEAK -- I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY
CARE ENOUGH TO GET PEOPLE
ENROLLED AND SPEND ALL OF THIS
MONEY ON NAKED DUDES.
ACTUALLY, I DO KNOW.
THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD AD.
>> IF YOU DID THAT AND IT WAS
THE OTHER WAY, GENDER
REVERSED.
YOU HAD WOMEN IN BIKINIS.
>> THE CONTROVERSY OVER THE
SWY DISH BIKINI TEAM WHICH WAS
NEITHER SWEDISH OR ACTUALLY A
TEAM.
AND THEY WERE SELLING BEER AND
EVERYONE WAS UPSET.
IT WAS THE EARLY 90s.
WOULD IT BE OKAY IF THEY WERE
BOUNCING AROUND AND SELLING
MAMMOGRAMS?
>> THAT IS AN INTERESTING
POINT.
IT IS ONE I WILL PRE EXTEND TO
MAKE ON -- PRETEND TO MAKE ON
MY OWN.
>> THERE WERE FEW WOMEN IN
THIS AD WHICH MAKES ME THINK
MAYBE IT IS NOT FOR STRAIGHT
MEN.
>> I WAS SITTING THERE
WATCHING IT AND ENJOYING IT SO
MUCH AND THEN I NOTICED THE
MEN WERE NOT LOOKING AT
WOMEN.
I MEAN, COME ON.
YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME OUT.
YOU ARE HURTING MY FEELINGS,
MAN.
YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK
LIKE THAT.
>> IT IS MEAN, THAT'S WHAT IT
IS.
>> JOE, SHOULD THEY MAKE MORE
ADS LIKE THIS?
I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN
SEEING MORE.
>> WE CAN STICK WITH THIS AND
PLAY IT OVER AND OVER AND
OVER.
EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE.
>> IT IS LEAK A YULE LOG OR A
COLLECTION OF YULE LOGS IF YOU
WILL.
>> OH I WILL.
I WILL POP A YULE LOG AFTER
WATCHING IT.
>> EXACTLY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
WE COULD BE JUMPING TO
CONCLUSIONS HERE.
THEY ALL HAVE VERY AT LET TECH
BODIES.
ATHLETIC BODIES.
THEY COULD BE ATHLETES AND
OBAMACARE CATERS TO THOSE WHO
ARE ATHLETIC.
>> I WATCHED THAT VIDEO 30 OR
40 TIMES AND I AM NOT SURE.
CAN REROLL IT AGAIN?
CAN WE ROLL IT AGAIN?
>>
♪ EXISTING CONDITIONS WON'T
STOP THEM ♪♪
♪ PLANS I BET I CAN'T STOP
THEM ♪
♪ WHETHER BRONZE SILVER OR
GOLD ♪
♪♪ GET ENROLLED, GETTEN ROLLED,
GET ENROLLED ♪
>> FIRST WHO IS THAT WOMAN WHO
KEEPS INTERRUPTING THE VIDEO?
I HATE HER.
>> SHE IS WEARING A JACKET.
IT IS CERTAINLY NOT COLD IN
THERE.
>> THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THIS
MAY BE THE OLYMPIC TRACK AND
FIELD TEAM.
I RECOGNIZE A SHOT PUTTER.
>> I THINK THAT IS WHAT IS
GOING ON HERE.
>> THEY NEED TO MAKE VIDEOS
LIKE THIS FOR CLIMATE CHANGE,
JOBS GROWTH, THE MILITARY,
SOCIAL SECURITY, I DON'T
KNOW.
WHAT AIM TALKING ABOUT?
I DON'T REALLY CARE.
ALL RIGHT, WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT
ABOUT THE OTHER SHOW?
>> IT IS ON A 5:00.
>> YOU KNOW, NONE OF YOU GUYS
DID THIS, BUT LOOK WHAT SUNNY
DID.
SUNNY BROUGHT ME A GIFT.
>> I AM A SOUTHERN GIRL AND IT
IS CHRISTMASTIME AND YOU
INVITED ME TO YOUR HOME.
>> WHAT IS THIS?
>> RUT ONLY CONSERVATIVE THIS
YEAR THAT DOESN'T TOTALLY RAG
ON HIP HOP.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE HIP HOP
ALBUM OF THE YEAR.
>> IS THAT THE GET ENROLLED
CD?
YOU KNOW HE WAS LIKE, OH,
WELL.
>> IT IS ALL OF THE OBAMACARE
NEEDS.
>> YOU ARE THE GREATEST.
>> I DIDN'T MAKE ANYTHING FOR
YOU.
THERE IS THIS WONDERFUL STAR I
MADE FOR YOU.
>> DUDE, DON'T DO THAT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
I WILL PUT THAT BACK. COMING
UP, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED AND
WHERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT FIRST, IS JENNIFER
LAWRENCE SHAMING FAT SHAMERS?
ALSO POTSTICKERS.
>>> IS THE FIRST LADY TO BLAME
FOR SPREADING SHAME?
SOMEONE AT TEAM.COM, WHATEVER
THAT IS, CLAIMS MICHELLE
OBAMA'S APPEARANCE ON "THE
BIGGEST LOSER" IS AN
ENDORSEMENT OF FAT TRAINING.
AN ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF
SOCIOLOGY AND GENDER STUDIES
AT UCLA, SHOCKING, I KNOW,
SAYS THE SHOW IS ALL THAT IS
WRONG WITH THE WAR ON
OBESITY.
SHE SAYS THE SHOW'S MESS
SEEMING THAT BEING -- MESSAGE
THAT BEING HEAVY AND
INACCURATE AND LEADS TO
ANTI-FAT PREJUDICE.
MEANWHILE, AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART, JENNIFER LAWRENCE,
TOLD SOME LADY THAT THE MEDIA
NEEDS TO GIVE GIRLS THE WRONG
IDEA OF BODY IMAGE.
SHE HAS AN INTERESTING WAY TO
MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
>> AND THE WORD FAT, I JUST
THINK IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO
CALL SOMEBODY FAT ON TV.
IF WE ARE REGULATING
CIGARETTES AND SEX AND CUSS
WORDS BECAUSE OF THE AFFECT IT
HAS ON OUR YOUNGER GENERATION,
WHY NOT REGULATING CALLING
PEOPLE FAT.
>> YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ADORABLE.
YOU KNOW WHO IS NOT FAT?
MY COUSIN CARL.
IT REALLY IS A THEMED SHOW.
NOW I AM BEGINNING TO BELIEVE
THAT I AM WRONG.
THE THEME IS FITNESS.
JOE, IS JENNIFER LAWRENCE
RIGHT?
SHOULD IT BE ILLEGAL TO CALL
SOMEONE FAT ON TV?
>> FIRST I NEED TO BARROW A
RAZOR BECAUSE I APPARENTLY
HAVE TO START SHAVING MY
CHEST.
THAT'S THE WAY TO GO.
A, I DIDN'T KNOW JENNIFER
LAWRENCE -- WHEN DID SHE
BECOME JUSTIN BIEBER?
>> IT IS THE BOB CUT.
>> ARE YOU JENNIFER SHAMING
HIM?
>> DID YOU HAVE A QUESTION?
>> I DON'T REMEMBER.
SUNNY, THE FIRST LADY, SHOULD
SHE BE IMPEACHED?
IS IT WAS A BLATANT
ENDORSEMENT OF FAT SHAMING.
>> I AM THE ONE THAT WHEN I
WALK IN THE DOOR TO TRY TO
SHOVE FOOD IN MY MOUTH, YOU
NEED TO EAT, YOU NEED TO EAT.
BE CALLED FAT.
YOU NEED TO BE HEARING THAT AS
MUCH AS I AM CALLED SKINNY.
BUT THEN YOU HAVE THE ONES
THAT SAY OH YOU ARE SO SMALL
AND I WISH I COULD BE LIKE
YOU.
I'M LIKE, I HAVE CROHN'S.
I GO DAYS WITHOUT BEING ABLE
TO EAT SOMETIMES.
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
SOMETIMES THE WAY SOMEONE
LOOKS ON THE OUTSIDE REALLY
HAS NOTHING TO DO WHAT THEY
ARE SHOVING IN THEIR MOUTH.
SO GET THAT STRAIGHT BEFORE
YOU START CALLING NAMES IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
>> I SHOULD THINK ABOUT THAT
BEFORE I SAY OH, JEEZ,
MICHAEL, YOU ARE LOSING A LOT
OF WEIGHT.
>> WHILE WE ARE CONFESSING OUR
DISEASES I HAVE TYPE 1
DIABETES.
>> YOU DO.
>> I DO.
I TAKE INSULIN EVERY DAY.
THAT'S WHY I AM SO THIN.
>> I WATCHED YOU SHOOT UP IN
THE GREEN ROOM.
I AM NOT KIDDING.
HE SHOOTS IN HIS THIGH BEFORE
THE SHOW WHILE EATING AN
ECLAIR.
>> THAT'S NOT INSULIN.
>> ENTIRELY UNRELATED.
>> THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
HIS INSULIN.
>> HAVE I SEEN YOU WITH
YOUR -- I HAVE SEEN YOU WITH
YOUR NEEDLES.
>> AND I AM TIRED OF BEING
INSULIN SHAMED FOR HAVING
ORGANS THAT DON'T WORK.
>> I CAN'T HELP IT IF YOUR
ORGANS ARE LAZY.
GET A JOB, ORGANS.
>> LET ME JUST POINT ONE THING
OUT.
"SKINNY GIRL, SICK FAMILY" IS
A GREAT SHOW.
>> IT IS.
>> VERY GOOD.
IT IS ON AFTER "BJ AND THE
BEAR."
IT IS A SCIENCE AND IT IS
GENETIC AND YOU CAN'T BLAME
PEOPLE. WE ARE THE FASTEST --
THE FATTEST COUNTRY ON EARTH.
WHY IS IT AMERICA WHERE THEY
ARE HAVING THE MEDICAL
PROBLEMS AND GETTING SUPER
FAT?
IT IS NOT THE CASE IN SWEDEN
AND NOT THE CASE IN MOW
MOZAMBIQUE.
>> IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE
LUCKY.
>> IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE FAT
SLOBS.
>> THAT IS ALSO TRUE.
IT SHOULD ALSO BE ILLEGAL.
>> YOU KNOW, ANDY, HOW DOES
THIS SQUARE WITH YOUR LOVE FOR
JENNIFER LAWRENCE?
CLEARLY WHAT SHE SAID WAS
AGAINST EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVE
IN.
>> I AGREE WITH HER.
AS SHE POINTS OUT, THE FCC
REGULATES BROADCAST TV.
THERE ARE CERTAIN WORDS YOU
CAN'T SAY.
ADD FAT TO THIS ARBITRARY
LIST, GREG AND YOU GO, GIRL.
>> YOU YOU JUST THREW YOUR LEB
TEAR YEN VALUES -- LIBERTARIAN
VALUES ON THE ALTAR OF A HOT,
YOUNG ACTRESS.
>> DIDN'T HAVE TO THINK AOUT
IT.
>> I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE
ATTACHING SHAME OR SHAMING TO
ANYTHING.
OH THEY ARE FAT SHAMING OR
*** SHAMING.
IT IS LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT,
SHAME SHAMING.
I AM SHAME SHAMING.
SHAMING IS GOOD. I SAID THIS
BEFORE --
>> SHAMING IS GOOD. WHEN DID
SHAMING BECOME THE MAJORITY.
MY FAMILY WAS SHAMING ME THE
DAY I WAS BORN. THAT SHOULD
ALSO BE ILLEGAL.
>> IF IT WASN'T FOR SHAMING I
WOULD BE ABOUT 250 POUNDS.
THE FIRST THREE YEARS OF "RED
EYE" I WAS A FAT, SWEATY BALL
OF PROTO PLAYS SEEM.
PROTO-PLASAM.
I WENT ON THE ATKINS DIET AND
I HAD HORRIBLE BREATH.
>> HOW DO THEY DO THAT BEFORE
TWITTER?
DO THEY SEND YOU LETTERS?
>> THIS WAS BEFORE TWITTER.
THEY MAILED THE HARD COPIES OF
GOVERNMENT IS LOOKING AT YOU
LEAK YOU ARE FAT.
INSTEAD OF SENDING LETTERS
HOME TO SHAME TO KIDS, YOUR
KID IS FAT AND NOW YOUR DOCTOR
IS SENDING YOUR LETTER HOME,
ARE YOU FAT.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
>> UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YOU
SIGN UP AND LOVE OBAMACARE ALL
OF YOUR CURVES ARE GOING TO
COST.
>> IT IS GOING TO BE THE
GOVERNMENT'S CHOICE TO
DECIDE.
>> I DON'T CARE.
AS LONG AS THEY BAN THE WORD
FAT FROM TV, THAT'S ALL I
WANT.
THAT'S ALL I CARE OF.
>> YOUR DOCTOR WILL NOW HAVE
TO INSULT YOU WITH
>> IT COSTS TOO MUCH FOR YOU
TO HAVE ALL OF YOUR CURVES.
YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THE COST
OF MEDICINE GO UP BECAUSE YOU
HAVE JUNK IN THE TRUNK.
>> I WILL SAY WATCHING
JENNIFER LAWRENCE, IT WAS CUTE
WATCHING HER USE HER BRAIN.
IT WAS WATCHING A DAD PRETEND
TO STEER THE WHEEL OF A CAR.
>> I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD TO
THAT.
>> ARE YOU JUST MAD BECAUSE
PAUL RUDD BEAT YOU OUT FOR ANT
MAN.
>> WHAT IS A ANT MAN?
>> A TINY SUPER HERO.
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE
THAT INSULT.
I JUST WON'T TAKE IT.
I WILL PRETEND IT DOESN'T
HAPPEN.
I WILL GO BACK IN TIME AND
THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.
NOW I AM BACK HERE.
WE ARE STILL ON TV.
>> IS THE TV SHOW STILL ON?
>> WE ARE STILL ON.
>> IT IS A TERRIBLE SHOW.
DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL.
>> THERE IS NO DIALOGUE AND
JUST A LOT OF PEOPLE CRYING.
>> SITTING NEXT TO ME.
>>> COMING UP, THE C BLOCK.
TONIGHT'S C BLOCK IS SPONSORED
BY HYDRO ELECTRIC DAMS, THE
MAN-MADE STRUCTURES BUILT
ACROSS RIVERS THAT GENERATE
ELECTRICITY WITH THE
CONVERSION OF THE ENERGY OF
RUNNING WATER.
THANKS, HYDRO DAMS.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> IS "DIE HARD" A CHRISTMAS
MOVIE AND IS CHRISTMAS MOVIE
REALLY A DIE HARD?
WE WILL DISCUSS THIS IN OUR
VASTLY IMPROVED "RED
>>> THEY MAY BE STARING EVEN
IF YOU ARE NOT SHARING.
FACEBOOK CON OFFICIALED IT CAN
SEE WHAT -- CONFIRMED IT CAN
SEE WHAT PEOPLE TYPED EVEN IF
THE STATUS IS NOT POSTED.
THERE ARE POSTS OF FIVE
MILLION RANDOM USERS IN THE
U.S. AND BRITAIN TO STUDY HOW
OFTEN THEY SENSORRED
THEMSELVES WHILE TYPING ON THE
SOCIAL NETWORK FACEBOOK SAYS
THIS FORM OF TRACKING IS
WITHIN ITS TERMS OF SERVICE.
ANYWAY THEY ARE NOT DOING IT
ANYMORE, BUT THEY WOULD SAY
THAT, WOULDN'T THEY?
>> I'M SORRY.
PEOPLE WHO LIVE THEIR LIVES,
YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE.
IF YOU WANT TO PUT ALL OF YOUR
BUSINESS OUT THERE, DON'T GET
MAD BECAUSE FACEBOOK KNOWS
IT.
JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HIT
THE SEND BUTTON, TO QUOTE ONE
OF THESE LITTLE KNOWN NEWS
ANCHORS HERE AT FOX, I HATE
THESE PEOPLE.
I ABSOLUTELY HATE THESE
PEOPLE.
THEY LIVE THEIR ENTIRE LIFE ON
FACEBOOK.
I JUST CAME OFF OF A WHOLE
MONTH DETOX OF SOCIAL
NETWORK.
NO FACEBOOK, NO TWITTER NO
NOTHING.
SOMETIMES YOU GET A BREAK AND
LEARN HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE
FACE-TO-FACE.
>> IT IS A HEALTHY THING.
>> IT IS A VERY HEALTHY
THING.
>> YOU REALIZE HOW BAD PEOPLE
ARE.
JOE, SHOULD YOU JUST ACCEPT
THAT WHEREVER YOU ARE AND
WHATEVER YOU DO SOMEONE IS
WATCHING AND JUST ACCEPT IT?
>> YES, THAT IS THE WORLD WE
LIVE IN NOW.
>> I REFUSE AND REJECT THAT
WORLD.
>> SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MADE US
LESS SOCIAL.
I ACTUALLY WENT TO A
RESTAURANT A COUPLE NIGHTS
AGO.
>> GOOD FOR YOU.
>> IT WASN'T EVEN AN ARBY'S.
>> YOU CAN'T CLICK THE LIKE
PAGE ON BURGER KING AND CALL
THAT GOING TO A RESTAURANT.
>> THEY OFFERED 5% OFF MY BILL
IF EVERYBODY AT THE TABLE
HANDED OVER THEIR PHONES.
THE ATMOSPHERE IS SO HORRIBLE.
THEY WANT PEOPLE TO TALK
BEGIN.
>> WHAT PLACE WAS THIS?
>> THIS WAS DOWNTOWN.
>> REALLY?
>> LITERALLY THE PLACE WAS
CALLED DOWNTOWN.
WE WILL GO AFTERWARD.
>> SLENTS.
EXCELLENT.
TRY TO SAY SOMETHING
REASONABLY INTELLIGENT.
>> DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A
LIBERTARIAN?
I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY EXAMPLES OF
THAT.
DO YOU THINK FACEBOOK IS
ACTUALLY MORE HARMFUL THAN THE
GOVERNMENT?
>> NO.
NOT AT ALL.
>> FACEBOOK CANNOT EXTRACT
TAXES AS FAR AS I CAN TELL.
IT IS A VOLUNTARY THINK.
THING.
JUST GET OFF THE THING. YOU
CAN DETOX.
IT IS LIKE, MIND YOUR OWN
BUSINESS.
>> I DON'T LIKE THEM UNTIL I
AM TWEETING AND ON FACEBOOK.
>> IT IS NOT BULLYING TO SAY
IF YOU HAND OVER YOUR PHONE WE
WILL GIVE YOU 5% OFF.
>> THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
>> BUT I WILL SAY THIS, PHONES
ARE GREAT FOR REALLY LONG,
LOVE LESS MARRIAGES.
YOU WILL SEE PEOPLE WHO ARE
NORMALLY NOT TALKING TO IT.
>> TAKING PICTURES AND SENDING
THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE.
>> IT IS AMAZING.
ANDY, THERE ARE ANY POSTS YOU
WISH YOU SELF-SENSORRED?
PERHAPS YOUR ENTIRE HISTORY.
>> I AM GLAD I AM NOT ON
FACEBOOK.
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE TWITTER
DOES THIS.
I THINK YOU DO THIS TOO.
HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE A NASTY
REPLY TO SOMEONE, BUT YOU
DON'T SEND IT?
>> MANY TIMES.
>> I AM JUST GLAD THEY CAN'T
TRACK THOSE.
>> I DO THAT EVERY DAY.
>> I USE UH THE LO OF WORDS.
>> BUT THIS MAKES IT LOOK LIKE
I CARE.
I HAVE TO ERASE IT ALL.
AND NOW I WILL WRITE --
[BLEEP].
I WORK FOR FOX AND I WILL GET
IN TROUBLE.
I HAVE TO -- THEY WON'T KNOW
IF I SAY THAT.
>> THERE WAS JUST A LOT OF
CURSING RIGHT THERE.
>> YOU DO SEND A LOT OF HATE
TWEETS YOU DON'T THINK TWICE
ABOUT.
>> YES, I DO.
>> ESPECIALLY WHEN WE GO TO
WAR WITH PAT SAJAC.
YOU HAVE US ALL GOING BACK AND
FORTH AND YOU SAY LOOK AT
THESE TWO IMMATURE BOYS WITH
THEIR TWITTER TOYS.
IT IS FUNNY TO WATCH Y'ALL
TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER.
IT IS QUITE HILARIOUS IF I DO
SAY SO MYSELF.
>> LITTLE BOYS AND THEIR
LITTLE TOYS.
>> WHAT DID YOU FIGHT WITH PAT
SAJAC ABOUT?
>> THEY GIVE EACH OTHER
PUZZLES TO SOLVE.
.
>> HE IS HOPING AROUND WITH NO
SHIRT ON.
AND CHUCK WOOLERY IS THERE.
>> CHUCK WAS THERE FOR
AWHILE.
BUT THEN HE GOT A LITTLE TOO
CRAZY.
NEXT TOPIC.
THE UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO,
THEY HAVE ONE THERE, HAS
SUSPENDED A CULTURALLY DIVERSE
FOR RUNNING A PHONE SEX
BUSINESS.
THEY OPERATED A WEBSITE
FEATURING NUDE PHOTOS AND AN
OPTION TO CHAT WITH HER IN
PERSON FOR $1.49 A MINUTE.
THAT IS A BARGAIN.
SAID THE 54-YEAR-OLD'S
DAUGHTER, THAT KILLED THE
WHOLE BUZZ.
>> I GUESS IT DOES PRESIDENT
MATTER.
DOESN'T MATTER.
I HAVE BEEN IN HER OFFICE AND
SHE SAID LET ME BE RIGHT
BACK.
SHE TAKES THEM DISCRETELY.
SHE TAKES PHONE SEX CALLS ON
DENVER'S PAY.
MIKE, MAYBE SHE WAS BOARD.
SHE WAS DOING THIS SINCE
1992.
>> HER DAUGHTER IS A COMPLETE
[BLEEP].
SHE JUST RATED HER OUT TO THE
MEDIA JIE. IT IS A
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW THOUGH?
>> WAS IT REALLY?
>> YES.
>> OH GOD.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT
CHANGES THINGS.
>> IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS PHONE
SEX LINES.
>> THAT BLOWS MY MIND THAT
PHONE SEX IS NECESSARY.
>> IT IS KIND OF EXPENSE SI.
>> BUT NOT ANYMORE.
>> I AM ALL FOR PHONE SEX
BECAUSE IT IS THERE FOR A
REASON.
IF SOMEBODY IS USING IT IT IS
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO USE IT
AND NOT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO.
IT IS LIKE MAYBE THEY JUST
CAN'T GO OUT.
I UNDERSTAND.
WHAT AIM DOING NOW?
DOES THIS PROVE RUNNING A
PHONE SEX BUSINESS IS EASY OR
BEING A DIVERSITY ADD STRAITER
IS EASY?
>> I DON'T KNOW, BUT PHONE SEX
THAT WILL ROCK EVERY PART OF
YOUR BODY.
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE WEB
PAGE OF THE THE NSA FOLLOWS ME
AND I ACTUALLY WANT TO CLICK
ON IT AND THEN PUT IT ON MY
PERMANENT RECORD.
THE WHOLE THING IS YOU GET
THESE PROFESSORS AND THEY WILL
DO ANYTHING THEY WANT TO DO
AND THEY WILL DO ANYTHING THEY
WANT TO DO.
SHE WILL NOT BE FIRED FOR
LONG.
THEY WILL BRING HER IN AND SHE
WILL BE TEACHING WOMEN'S
*** LIBERATION.
AND THEY WILL GIVE HER A NEW
CLASS THAT GOES ALONG WITH HER
OUTSIDE WORK ABILITY.
SHE CAN USE IT ON HER HEZ MAY
AND PUT IT ALL -- HER RESUME
AND PUT IT ALTOGETHER AND YOU
CAN SAY LOOK AT THE PROFESSOR
WE HAVE RAISING ANOTHER
GENERATION OF WOMEN WHO KNOW
NOTHING BUT FEMINISM.
>> AUDIO ORGASIM-101.
>> IS IT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
QUESTION THE DIVERSITY CURED
NEATER BECAUSE YOU CAN GET IN
TROUBLE?
>> IT IS JUST $13 PER MINUTE
FOR PHONE SEX THESE DAYS.
I KNOW THIS FROM MY TUESD
NIGHT.
>> ARE YOU GIVING IT OR
GETTING IT?
>> BOTH.
>> WELL THAT'S GOOD.
>> ANDY, YOU RUN A PHONE SEX
LINE CALLED ULTIMATE
PURRFECTION.
>> WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FACT
THAT SHE IS 54 YEARS OLD?
WHY DID YOU AGE SHAME HER.
>> I SAID I WAS TOO YOUNG.
>> EITHER WAY YOU ARE AGE
SHAMING HER. HER AGE SHOULD
NOT MATTER.
SHE GOT AN AWARD FROM THE
SCHOOL FOR HOW WELL SHE DID
HER JOB.
THE FACT THAT SHE COULD DO HER
JOB WELL ENOUGH TO GET AN
AWARD WHILE ALSO RUNNING A
PHONE SEX LINE JUST PROVES
THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG
WITH WHAT SHE WAS DOING.
>> OR HER JOB OF TOTAL
[BLEEP].
>> SHE GOT AN AWARD.
>> BY THE WAY, HER
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IS THE ONE WHO
WHO -- SHE ADMITTED TO THE
DENVER CBS AFFILIATE THAT SHE
IS IN A MESSY -- SHE NEEDED A
FAMILY SPAT.
>> THE ENTIRE REASON FOR
THIS -- THIS IS A FAMILY
FIGHT.
>> SHE IS GETTING
DISCIPLINED.
>> SHE IS CHARGING FOR THAT.
>> IMAGINE IF YOU ARE PAYING
TUITION AND AT THE SAME TIME
THEY CALL IT A SEX LINE.
>> THEY ARE PAYING HER
DOUBLE.
>> AT SOME POINT, CAN THE KIDS
ON CAMPUS TALK FOR FREE?
>> OR COME IN WITH THE WRONG
CURRICULUM?
>> ALL OF A SUDDEN LITTLE
BILLY IS LEARNING MORE --
>> BILLY IS IN COLLEGE.
>> AND ANTI-CAPITALISTS.
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
DON'T LEAVE NOW.
THERE IS MORE STUFF TO TALK
ABOUT.
IF YOU HAVEN'T BOUGHT MY MU
BOOK BECAUSE PERHAPS YOU
FORGOT, IT IS OKAY.
COMING OUT IN MAR.
YOU CAN PRE ORDER IT NOW AT
ALL RETAILERS.
GO TO MY WEBSITE G GUTFELD.COM
AND ORDER 20 OF THEM.
>>> THAT'S TRUE.
WOULD CHRISTMAS BE THE SAME
WITHOUT JOHN McCLAIN?
THAT'S THE SUBJECT OF
TONIGHT'S --
>> RED EYE DEBATE, 2013, LIVE
FROM THE RED EYE DEBATE
CENTER.
>> WELCOME BACK TO THE "RED
EYE" DEBATE CENTER.
THE TOPIC IS DIE HARD A
CHRISTMAS MOVIE?
THERE SHOULD BE TWO SIMPLE
TESTS TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR
NOT A FILM SHOULD BE CALLED A
CHRISTMAS MOVIE.
ONE, EVERYBODY HAS TO BE
NAKED.
NO, I'M KIDDING.
THE HOLIDAYS MUST BE AN
INTEGRAL PART OF THE STORY
LINE. SECOND, THE FILM SHOULD
BE RELEASED ON CHRISTMASTIME.
ON BOTH THESE COUNTS DIE HARD
FAILS.
MEANWHILE PIECES OF GARBAGE
LIKE "LOVE ACTUALLY" WOULD
PASS THE TEST.
MY ARM IS GETTING HEAVY.
THIS DEBATE IS BECOMING MORE
HEATED ALL-AROUND THE
COUNTRY.
WHERE DO YOU STAND?
>> THIS IS NOT EVEN A DEBATE.
THE DEBATE IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
TWO SIDES.HIS CASE THE STATEMENE
HARD IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE AND
IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY
OBJECTIVELY TRUE.
>> HOW SO?
>> ANY PERSON WHO DOESN'T
THINK IT IS A MOVIE SHOULD
LOSE HIS OR HER JOB.
>> THERE ARE NO FACT.
>> HOW MANY TEAMS IN THE MOVIE
DOES HE SAY JESUS CHRIST?
IT HAS TO BE NEAR 100.
SOMETIMES THERE IS A WORD
BETWEEN THE JESUS AND THE
CHRIST AND HE STILL SAYS
THEM.
REMEMBER THE SCENE HE TAKES
OFF HIS SHOES AND WALKS ACROSS
THE GLASS?
MATTHEW VERSE 10, PROVIDE GOLD
NOR SILVER NOR BRASS IN YOUR
PURSE AND NEITHER TWO COATS
NOR SHOES NOR YET STAGE.
THISSEN TEAR MOVIE -- THIS
ENTIRE MOVIE IS AN UPDATE OF
THE JESUS STORY.
>> I HAD NO IDEA.
SUNNY, YOU MUST HAVE STRONG
FEELINGS ABOUT THIS.
I GUESS I AM THE GIFT THAT
KEEPS ON GIVING.
NOW "RED EYE" IS A CHRISTMAS
SHOW.
I HAVE MY SANTA CLAUS HAT AND
NOW YOU WOULD BE CALLED
FOREVER AND ALWAYS A CHRISTMAS
SHOW.
>> THIS IS THE OFFICIAL
CHRISTMAS EPISODE.
>> THIS YEAR I HAVE MY
DAUGHTER AND IT IS GOING TO BE
THE CHRISTMAS STORY AT MY
HOUSE MAKING SURE SHE WATCH
ITSELF AND DOESN'T GO OUTSIDE
AND SHOOT HER EYE OUT.
WE ARE HOPING FOR THE BEST
AROUND CHRISTMASTIME.
NO FALLING SIGH SICKLES.
>> I AM GLAD YOU GOT THE
WEAPON.
>> GIVE ME FIVE YEARS AND SHE
WILL BE OUT AT THE RANGE.
>> YOU AGREE THAT "DIE HARD"
WAS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE?
THAT'S WHAT I TOOK FROM THAT.
>> JOE, MOST CHRISTMAS MOVIES
SUCK.
THAT'S THE REASON WE PUT DIE
HARD IN THAT CATEGORY BECAUSE
THEY ARE SO OVER RATED AND
THAT IS ACTUALLY A GOOD
MOVIE.
>> DIE HARD IS FUNDAMENTALLY
FLAWED.
LET ME TELL YOU WHY.
MOST CHRISTMAS PARTIES WENT ON
LAST WEEK OR MAYBE THIS
WEEKEND.
THE SICK PEOPLE IN THAT
CORPORATION HAD THEIR
CHRISTMAS PARTY ON CHRISTMAS
EVE.
IT WAS AT THE OFFICE.
>> THAT'S CRAZY.
>> BRUCE WILLIS' KIDS ARE
WATCHING THE WHOLE THING
UNFOLD ON TV AND THEY SHOULD
BE OPENING GIFTS IN ASSISTED.
THE CEO WHO TOOK IT IN THE
HEAD FROM HANS, HE DISEE --
DESERVED IT FOR HAVING THE
CHRISTMAS PARTY ON ON
CHRISTMAS EVE IN LOS ANGELES.
>> AND HE KNEW THE ANSWER TO
THE SAFE.
THAT WAS WRONG HE DIDN'T GIVE
IT.
>> THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
HE HAD THE COMBINATION.
>> WHAT DOES MIKE THINK OF DIE
HARD?
>> ARE YOU JUST GOING TO TAKE
OVER.
>> ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT I
HAVEN'T ASKED.
>> YOU PLAYED ONE OF THE
LIEUTENANTS.
>> IF I AM NOT A DIE HARD FROM
FROM -- A BAD GUY FROM DIE
HARD I AM A LEPRECHAUN.
>> TWO THINGS, IMPORTANT
THINGS.
>> ARE YOU -- YOU ARE IN THE
ELEVATOR.
ANDY MADE A CASE THAT SOUNDED
WAT ERTIGHT.
I REALIZED IT IS CHRISTMAS AND
READ FRGHT BIBLE AND HE IS
JEWISH. PERIOD, END OF STORY.
I DIDN'T WRITE JOURNALISM ON
IRAQ BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN
THERE. THE SECOND THING IS
ALL OF YOU JUST SCREWED
EVERYTHING UP.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN "DIE HARD"
AND THE SAFE AND EVERYBODY
SHOOTS THE -- THEY WERE MAKING
FUN OF ME IN THE GREEN ROOM.
>> NO WAY.
>> JUST LUKE "TOP GUN."
>> I ALSO HAVEN'T SEEN "TOP
GUN."
AND THE OTHER ONE IS --
"SILENCE OF THE LAMBS."
>> DO YOU JUST SIT AT HOME AND
WATCH MOVIES OVER AND OVER.
IS.
>> WHEN YOU SEE THE MOVIE YOU
ARE THE FIRST TERRORIST THAT
BRUCE WILLIS TAKES OUT.
HE PUTS HIM IN THE ELEVATOR
--
>> THE GOOD LOOKING SMART
ONE?
>> THAT ONE.
THEY ACTUALLY PUT A SIGN ON
THE T-SHIRT AND IT SAID NOW I
HAVE MACHINE GUN, HO, HO, HO.
>> IT IS A CHRISTMAS PARTY AND
THE FAMILY GETS BACK
TOGETHER.
>> IT I ENJOY THAT MOVIE.
I AM A BIG FAN OF ALLEN
RICKMAN.
WHO IS NOT A FAN EXCEPT ALLEN
>>> ALL RIGHT, DON'T FORGET A
BRAND-NEW "RED EYE" AIRS ON
SATURDAY.
WE HAVE GAVIN McGUINEA AND
JOANNE AND HOW DID HE GET IN
THERE?
BUCK SEXTON.
SATURDAY AT 11:00 P.M. AND
8:00 P.M. PACIFIC.
HERE I AM.
PLUS DON'T FORGET TO WATCH OUR
NEW YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL.
IT IS DECEMBER 31st THE AT
12:30 EASTERN TIME AND 9:30
PACIFIC TIME.
WATCH THAT.
>> E BLOCK.
LAST STORY.
THAT'S THE LAST STORY.
>> YAY.
IS BIEBS TAKING A PERMANENT
LEAVE?
JUSTIN BIEBER SAID HE IS
QUITTING MUSIC.
HE IS THE CANADIAN POP TART
TALKING TO POWER 106.
WHAT A GREAT NUMBER.
>> NEW ALBUM I AM ACTUALLY --
I AM RETIRING, MAN.
>> NO.
>> I AM RETIRING.
>> I AM GLAD YOU ANNOUNCED.
IT I WILL PLAY NOTHING ELSE
BUT THAT.
I AM TAKING -- I AM JUST GOING
TO TAKE SOME TIME.
I AM GOING TO QUIT MUSIC.
>> GOD, I KNOW HE IS JOKING,
BUT I WISH HE WASN'T.
HE IS PURE CHARISMA.
HE CLAIMED HE WAS JOKING, BUT
WAS HE?
MORE IMPORTANTLY, SHUT UP.
WAS HE JOKING OR NOT SERIOUS?
>> THIS IS MY CHRISTMAS GIFT.
REMEMBER LAST TIME I CAME ON
AND I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I
UTTERLY HATE JUSTIN BIEBER.
LET HIM GO AWAY ON HIS OWN
VOLITION SO I DON'T HAVE TO
TRACK HIM DOWN.
WHERE ELSE IS HE GOING MAKE
MONEY?
WHAT ELSE IS HE GOING TO DO?
THE NEXT THING HE WILL BE IN
ONE OF THE OBAMA ADS WITH THE
DOG DASHING AROUND TO HAVE
ENOUGH MONEY TO THROW AN
EXTRAVE GANT PARTIES --
EXTRAVAGANT PARTIES HE THROWS
IN LOS ANGELES.
HE HAS NO OTHER WAY TO MAKE
MONEY.
>> I CAN THINK OF A FEW
THINGS.
DO YOU THINK HE SHOULD
RETIRE?
I DO.
>> HE IS WORTH $150 MILLION HE
IS GOING TO BE OKAY FOR A
COUPLE YEARS.
>> WHAT WOULD BE A GREAT MOVE
FOR HIM?
>> JUST TO RETIRE MAYBE?
>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO
SAY DIE.
>> GET BEATEN BY A PACK OF
ANGRY PEOPLE?
HE SAID HE IS CANADIAN AND I
GUESS I HAD KNOWN THAT.
WHEN HE SHOWED THE CLIP HE HAS
A HEAVY CANADIAN ACCENT.
I AM QUITTING MUSIC.
YOU ARE FROM OTTAWA.
YOU WILL BE WORKING AT A TIM
HOUR TONS IN THREE MONTHS.
THAT'S FOR THE CANADIANS.
THEY WILL KNOW THE REFERENCE.
>> THERE IS A TIM HORTONS IN
NEW YORK.
>> IT IS IN PENN STATION.
>> LAST WORD TO YOU, ANDY.
I WISH HIM WELL.
HE IS A DELIGHTFUL YOUNG MAN.
>> I DON'T WISH HIM WELL AT
ALL.
SADLY HE WAS PROBABLY JOKING,
EXCEPT I WOULD MOTT CALL IT
JOKING BECAUSE IT IS NOT
FUNNY.
YOU WOULD NOT OFFER A HOPE
LIKE THAT AND THEN *** IT
LIKE LUCY WITH THE FOOTBALL
AND CHARLIE BROWN.
>> BIEBER SHAMING.
>> I THINK WE ARE BIEBER
SHAMING.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I HOPE HE DOES
SOMETHING SMART WHICH IS TO
TAKE A BREAK AND GET A JOB
WORKING SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU
UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE FEEL AND
DON'T PEA IN PEOPLE'S -- PEE
IN PEOPLE'S BUCKETS AT BARS
AND RESTAURANTS.
YOU SHOULD BE CLEANING THE
BUCKETS.
THAT'S WHAT I SAY.
THAT'S BUCKET SHAMING.
SUNNY, JOE, ANDY, MICHAEL,