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Polish women in UK -- Interview with psychologist Sylwia Kiro Zabinska-MacIntyre.
>> Surely situation of women has changed since 2004 because, first of all, there is more
of them here. That first wave of emigration that started around 10 years ago was characterized
by that (maybe not exclusively, but mostly) single men came. Of course, there were also
some single women, or, say, mothers, who then later tried to bring here their families,
but the basic model was that man was coming here and after few years, if his woman with
kids stayed behind in Poland, families were reunited and the man tried to bring his partner
here. Nowadays, we have a stage that if there is a family, it is here as a whole, eventually
either man or woman alone are in Poland. But when it comes to some kind of challenges or
things that have changed, from one angle women have it easier as they are more aware of the
local system. This is kind of the specific that women are a bit easier to accept. We
can say that some ladies have better developed social skills, they can more in a way smile,
start a chit-chat, in such multicultural society women is accepted more easily. When it comes
to men they have it a bit harder I would say. In male environment the competition is stronger,
some kind of hierarchy and testing each other, proving who's better and who is worse. So
in case of people who came from abroad these differences become more visible.
>> Statistics shows that Polish women much more often choose for their life partners
men from another nations while Polish men prefer to pick Polish women for the women
of their lives, for mother of their kids. Why do you think Polish women are more open
for another nations?
>> It's because of these social skills. Women even if they don't speak the language sometimes
can deliver more information even with limited vocabulary. They can use body language, they
can just ask about something, smile, they can even cast that sidelong glance... Man
to express what he feels in most cases want to say it. When his vocabulary is not developed
enough, even if he knows the same amount of words as his female counterpart, he will perform
slightly worse.
Polish men in UK -- Interview with psychologist Sylwia Kiro Zabinska-MacIntyre
>> When it comes to these roles it's like this: I have a feeling that, at least from
what I hear from people who come to therapeutic sessions or workshops I run, men often say
they would like to try to meet local girl, but sometimes they have problems with expressing
themselves, with passing the information to her, and sometimes there are problems with
lack of self-confidence. We could say that cultural differences result in differences
in the styles of upbringing and with that, that these local, British women, are in a
way, although that might be a bit stereotypical, more liberated. In other words they are not
so tied to men any more. Tied can be understood also in that good meaning: they don't need
their support to such extend. And I have a feeling that our men like to feel as a pillar
of the relationship, they like to feel appreciated, as a person who brings a lot to this relationship
but it is also recognized. I have a feeling that in this culture that offers lot of independence
to both sides, but these roles are strongly transformed. And I got a feeling that Polish
girls find themselves easier in that new situation that Polish men.
>> Let's say: There is sitting next to me Scottish or Girl women and I would like to
say to her "Czuje do pani pociag [I am attracted to you]". I check in dictionary what is
English word for "pociag" - it's train -- and I say to her "I feel train to you".
It does not matter that on tracks, train is train, isn't it? "Pocaluj mnie z jezykiem
[Kiss me with your tongue" - "Kiss me with the language". There would be the biggest
problem if I would like to tell her "Chcialbym sie pani zwierzy? [I would like to confess
to you]". There is no such word as "zwierzyc" in English. I search the dictionary: zwierzyc...
zwierz?... That will do. "I want animal to you". You know what? Just learn that
bloody English yourself!
>> I was once in Germany and there was interview with famous racing driver Michael Schumacher,
and at the bottom there were German subtitles. I asked my friend why is that, and he told
me "it's because he is Bavarian and nobody in Germany understand him".
>> I also speak English only when I am drunk.
>> It's like someone from London came to Scotland and wanted to be understood. It makes no sense
at all!
>> But there is a difference, because they speak with Scots accent and we speak with
too much Scotch.
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