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Oh, hello. I didn't see you there.
I was just enjoying two of my favorite past times.
Brooding and drinking fine scotch.
Is it on here?
I never know how many buttons is appropriate.
Do you mind?
There. That's much better.
Many of you have been sending me e-mails.
But I honestly only get asked two questions.
Firstly: Have Jane and I been intimate?
Personnaly I'm outraged by this question. I'm a gentleman.
Even though if we ever were to become intimates,
I'm sure it would be a
visceral, magical, wonderful experience.
Oh, so... very wonderful.
The other thing people often wondered about is my socks.
Yes, it's true. I am aficionado of socks. I collect them. A connaisseur.
Passionate plaid.
Sunset seduction.
Like wearing a hug. On your feet.
I let Adele pick my socks. Once.
These... were given to me by my great auntie Rochester.
She prided herself on her honesty.
This one time. I must have been about 10.
My older brother kept using this... very naughty slang word...
... *** nature.
So I asked my auntie Rochester what it means.
And she stares at me. Speechless.
And then she washes into this 3 hour, fully comprehensive and illustrated lecture on sex.
Did you know that there is more than one erogenous zone?
Look it up! And you shouldn't have cinnamon for at least 2 hours after sex.
It messes with your inmate
Yep. My auntie Rochester... Most honest woman I've ever known.
I haven't been honest lately.
And I'd like to change that.
Here it goes!
I'm not actually the CEO of an aluminium export company.
We sell steel!
Nobody knows the difference!
I can't swim.
I cried when I watched "The Notebook". I love Ryan Gosling.
He was so good in that movie.
I'm scared of hippopotamus.
... hippopota - mees? hippopotamusses-s ? Who knows?
I sleep with a retainer.
What am I? 12??
I'm a grown man!
I was born with bad teeth!
Sometimes I like to dress up.
As a pirate. And write poetry.
But taking on the person of the pirate, I'm free to express my true emotions.
Without judgement.
It's just me and my merry crew... sailing upon an open sea of similes and metaphors.
I reverse color blind. I can't see things that aren't colors.
Hippopotamimusses.
Those big teeth. Who has teeth that big?
Nobody I know!
I have a drinking problem.
I can only hold two glasses!!
Our love is as endless as the open sea.
That would shrugs me to sleep at night.
My heart sails for thee... until I hear the sound of Gods.
And I know... all will be well... where there's land end.
Grace! Grace! I'm out of scotch!
This is Richard Bratleforth the Four.
Hello!
And this - Hello! - is Earnest Pea FuzzyFort.
Nobody asked me "Hey Edward, do you want perfect teeth?" I would have said yes.
Everytime !
Okay. This is a tough one.
In the attic... I'm hiding...
80's records! That's right! I love music from the 80's.
Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Madonna !
Oh!! Phil Collins!
Grace! The scotch is gone!
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord.
I hear there's something going on at the Queen Elizabeth theater this evening, it's quite nice.
Oh I love the Queen Elizabeth theater, it's my favorite!
Grace! Grace! Grace I'm out of scotch!
Like a ***, touched for the very first time
Yaaah! It's drinking time!
I drank it all, it was so good, I couldn't stop.
Tralala, tralala. OOh, scotch! Rochester would you like some scotch?
Yes I want.
GRACE I'M OUT OF SCOTCH!
Hippopotami!
I'm not a 3, Johanna! I'm not a 3.
I'm a sexy pirate! A sexy pirate!
Grace! Graaaace! I'm a sexy pirate!
I'm a sexy pirate!
Hippopotamy! Ahaha!