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The human baby,
Adorable? Sure.
But caring for one can be time consuming.
And the cost of raising one
can send you right to the poor house.
What if there were a way for your baby to earn his keep
and give you a little free time in the process? Now there is.
Here, at the Center for Professional Infants, we train your baby with the tools he needs to
compete in today's job market
and begin a successful career in one of many exciting fields, such as:
massage therapy
groundskeeping
telemarketing
construction
extermination
paramedics
plumbing
lifeguarding
door-to-door sales
housekeeping
and chauffeuring.
Our expert teaching staff knows how to communicate with babies on their level
because they're all dogs.
Dogs and babies are basically the same thing.
And training is fast, so junior will be making those rent payments in no time!
But don't just take my word for it. Take it from our dean of admissions.
(We also offer degrees in nursing!)
Your baby forced you into labor.
Isn't it time he joined the labor force? Call now.
The Center for Professional Infants.
Operators are standing by.