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Sophia, particularly with the ADHD, she's very impulsive and sometimes she can hijack the
entire family.
So, that means if she's having a bad day,
and even at twelve having a tantrum,
everybody is impacted by it.
She can be very mean to her brother.
Particularly since she's so bright,
she knows how to push everybody's buttons.
And standard discipline doesn't work with her.
First of all, because she can figure it out intellectually, and second of all,
she is not always in control of her own behavior.
And so it's difficult as a family to deal with.
You know, I think it has made me understand so much more as a parent; sometimes I say
everybody needs a Sophia
in their family.
Because it makes you — it humbles you,
you know. You can be the most wonderful parent in the world, but if you have a child with
disabilities, there are things you cannot control.
To understand that for her,
has also helped me understand that for other people, to be more open
to parents that are struggling with their children. To understand that
the fantasy you had about your family is not true, but it's ok.
You can have a different vision for your family,
and it can be just as wonderful as what you dreamed about when you were
first getting married.
The most important advice that I would give any parent who has a child with disabilities would
be to forgive yourself as a parent.
Even in the cases where the disability might be genetic, you have to let go of that responsibility
and accept your child
for who they are. You might not have the fantasy child that you were hoping for,
but that's okay. You have to look at what the child
is capable of, and how you can move that child forward
and let go of the rest.
You know not everybody is going to be
the prom queen, best friends with everybody, star athlete,
but they still have a value.
And you can find that in your child and you can help everybody else understand that as well.