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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! BABE RUTH!
VERSUS! LANCE ARMSTRONG!
BEGIN!
Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression I'll let you be the second fat woman hearing
my confession I admit it, I did what I had to do to win
I'm an athlete, you're a specimen of sin With your drinking and smoking and choking
down food I know French dudes with better manners than
you! So swing, batter batter, show me what a fatter
rapper can do I beat cancer, I can sure as hell crack you!
You live strong, beat cancer, congratulations! Now I'll drop your *** faster than your own
foundation! Third base with an Olsen twin, that's the
sin, face it! She's just a little girl! What, did you give
her a bracelet? Whole nation knows you ride too tight in the
crotch You're as boring as your Tour de France is
to watch So come on, little buddy, don't look so pissed!
With all that blood and attitude you're like a menstrual cyclist!
You set records before black men could compete, are you kidding me?
That's like having a pasta contest without Italy!
You're an orphan who found his way to fortune and fame
Just think what you could've done if you were to actually train!
I'm the pinnacle of physical condition While you dip your stick in prostitutes and
call it foul tipping, are you tripping? You'll be nothing but a skeleton
Messing with a fellow in yellow who will be pedaling like hell up in the Peleton!
It's the bottom of the ninth against a Texan in a bathing suit
Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth
It may be way too soon, but I'm calling a shot
And I'm not talking about those Italian syringes you brought
The Sultan of Swat will knock you right out of the park!
And round the bases to the sound of up-roaring applause!
While you hang your head in shame and disgrace because
You got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was!
You look tired, kid, you got Sheryl Crow's feet eyes
Peddle home to France and maybe bring me back some fries!
But just a step to booth and the mic, I'll fan your fancy bike and all
You're out, with three strikes, and just one ball!
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE! EEEEPIC RAP BATTLES! *clap clap, clap clap
clap* OF HISTORY!