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Mazal Tov, a wedding!
How good it is to establish a new family.
To set up a new family as a matter of course includes the desire to have more children, to give birth, to be parents, and afterwards to raise the children.
All of this requires creating a family unit where there is a father and a mother, and the children that were born as a result of their relationship.
The Torah praises the act of being fruitful and multiplying.
In the beginning of the creation of humanity, it is written in the Torah, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and take possession of it."
Thus, the relationship between a man and a woman, which in other cultures is sometimes seen as shameful, is considered in the Torah as a holy element.
In fact, the ceremony by which a man and a woman are bound together is called "Kidushin" in the Talmud - related to the word "kadosh" - holy - and the revelation of the Shechina, the Divine presence.
When a man and a woman establish a family in holiness the Shechina puts in an appearance.
When a man and a woman are not present, the Shechina does not appear.
It seems that the Holy One, Blessed be He, specifically wants to reside within a family unit, which is a way to continue eternal life, through the companionship of a couple.
The question is, how can this relationship be formalized?
When does a woman become a man's wife and at the same time become forbidden to other men?
The Rambam, the greatest rabbi in Judaism in terms of halachic rulings, wrote: "Before the Torah was given, a man would meet a woman in the market.
If he and she wanted to marry, he would take her home and have relations with her on their own, and she would become his wife.
When the Torah was given, Israel was commanded that if a man wants to marry a woman he must first take possession of her in front of witnesses, and then she becomes his wife.
As is written, 'If a man takes a woman and has relations with her.'"
There is a necessary action, taking or "kidushin," and that is what establishes the relationship between a man his wife.
The significance of this change is that it is a transfer from a natural status to a state of holiness.
That is, Judaism added a Divine element to the family that is both a formal and social ritual.
Why is this relevant for Bnei Noach? According to the basic law, a Ben Noach does not need the ritual of "kidushin" or any special ceremony to transform a woman into his wife.
The moment they have relations with the intent of establishing a home she becomes his wife and is prohibited to other men.
However, the Torah gave instructions about the proper behavior for Bnei Noach too.
When the Patriarch Jacob came from Padan Aram to the Land of Israel, he first went to the city of Shechem, and it is written, "He camped in front of the city."
What did this camp consist of (the word "chen" is also related to "atonement")?
The sages learned from this that he did three things: He established coins, markets, and bathhouses.
That is, he taught them how to get married according to the Torah of Israel.
A coin is similar to a wedding ring, markets are related to financial and legal obligations, and bathhouses provide for immersion so that *** relations will be on a basis of purity and sanctity and not simply a natural animal activity.
The purpose was to raise the people of Shechem from a simple life to a higher level of family living.
From the rest of the story in the Bible we see that this attempt failed, but that was Jacob's original intention.
And therefore, we in Brit Olam recommend for all Bnei Noach to establish a special marriage ceremony for Bnei Noach.
This should consist of several elements.
The Bnei Noach community should keep a record of who gets married, and their occupations, and so on, with identifying details.
It is also appropriate to set up a wedding canopy (a "chupah") to signify the appearance of the Shechina.
The groom should also give the bride an object such as the customary wedding ring.
And the groom should say, "You are hereby consecrated to me with this ring according to the religion of Bnei Noach as taught to us by the religion of Moses and Israel."
And in addition to the festive clothing, it is possible to recite the seven betrothal blessings over a cup of wine, as appears in the siddur of Bnei Noach, with instructions for a wedding ceremony.
And this will be recorded as part of the formal records of the community, in books kept by the leaders of the community, as will be agreed by the community as a whole.
We should understand that establishing a new home is an expression of optimism.
It is an expression of love for G-d and an understanding that the world is a good place, where it is good to set up a new family and live here.
One part of the Jewish ceremony is to break a glass as a symbol of the mourning for the destruction of the holy Temple.
The entire world is sad because there is no Temple.
It is written in the Talmud that "if the other nations had understood what they lost by destroying the Temple, including the possibility of atonement for all the sins of humanity, they would have surrounded it with soldiers to protect it."
Therefore, we suggest that at the wedding canopy of Bnei Noach a glass will also be broken, as a token of the shared sorrow for the fact that the Temple does not exist, and in anticipation of its being rebuilt quickly, in our day.