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Crossfire
Good morning, Metropolis.
I'm your host, Lois Lane.
And I'm your cohost, Clark Kent.
And we're here to help make
the start of your day.
Just a little bit brighter, right Clark?
Right, a little less brighter.
Could we start over?
No problem.
Just, let
me know when you're ready.
Great.
(clears throat)
Look, I appreciate you helping me audition.
I'm still angry you didn't tell me
how badly Oliver was doing,
but you're here anyway,
so please don't make me
wish you weren't.
It's okay, Lois.
You don't need to get all
worked up like you usually do.
Well, excuse me, Mr.
"I'm slow and steady
and know what's best for everyone.
"
This happens to be important to me.
With newspapers on the
endangered-species list,
news television is my
one and only backup plan.
Don't you think you can be a little
less dramatic with this whole thing?
Oh, you could be a little more passionate
with this whole thing, but not you.
Not mild-mannered Clark Kent.
Do you even care if I get this job?
Of course I care.
I bought a new tie.
- Oh, I bought a whole new outfit.
- Yeah, you look great.
- Don't do that.
- Do what?
Don't you dare
reassure me right now.
Lois
I'm only doing this for you.
How else am I gonna
get that second date?
Well, you should have thought about that
before you stood me up the first time.
Thanks, guys.
That'll do.
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, we weren't
really,
one more time would be great.
That's it for today.
What do you say you come in
bright and early Monday morning
and give it another whirl?
You got the job.
Congratulations.
Great.
Aah!
I guess this means you forgive me.
Well, let's just say I won't forget about you
when I go national.
Oh, actually, we want you both.
I'm sorry?
Oh no.
He's just here to help me.
I am more of a
behind-the-scenes kind of guy.
Oh that's good.
That's real.
That's what people want nowadays.
Besides, you two,
you have great chemistry,
like Hepburn and Tracy,
Regis and Kelly.
It's a package deal, guys.
Either you both stay, or you both go.
(sighs, chuckles)
(inhales)
♫ Crossfire ♫
Somebody save me!
♫ "Save Me" performed by Remy Zero ♫
Let your warm hands break right through
Somebody save me!
I don't care how you do it
Just stay
Stay
Come on,
I've been waiting for you
I made this whole world shine for you!
Stay!
Stay!
Come on!
♫ Smallville 9x06 ♫
Crossfire
Original Air Date on October 30, 2009
(Chloe)
Hey!
From the look on your face,
I'm guessing "Good morning
Metropolis" wasn't so good.
- Did Lois get the job?
- Yeah.
So did I.
They'd only hire us as a team.
(chuckles)
How do I get myself
into these things?
So, what's your first story?
Online dating.
They want us
to tape ourselves on dates,
send them to the internet and then
coffee-talk about them on the show.
Wow!
Tackling morning television
to get back into Lois' good graces.
You know this has got to be one
of your bravest moves yet.
Well as much as I care about Lois,
there's nothing more important
than finding the Kandorians.
Clark
you've been galloping
around the globe,
tracking down every Kryptonian
crop circle we've found.
And every time, the Kandorian
who came with it was long gone.
That doesn't mean I'm
gonna stop looking.
I think it's time to start
looking a little closer to home.
Tess has been reinforcing
her firewalls,
and she's cut the feed to
all her security cameras.
Now, given her attraction
to all things alien.
You think she's
building her own Area 51.
Let me use Watchtower to take
a sneak peek at her files.
All right.
I'll see what
I can find on my end.
Clark,
you've done everything you can.
You chose to come back to
your Daily Planet double life
as a cover.
That's what you need to focus on.
Just for today, leave
the Kandorians to me.
- What are these?
- Release forms from KZXP.
They want us to fill them
out before we go on our dates.
I have to get a date
before I can go on one.
I'm still filling out
my online profile.
If you want these mainframe
matchmakers to pick you a winner,
you really have to be careful
to choose just the right words.
I filled mine out in
I guarantee that's the only
Well let's see what you wrote.
Under "likes," you have the theater.
You mean movie theater.
Details.
Favorite drinks, you have "bubbly.
"
Yeah, if it comes in a six-pack.
I do like a six-pack.
Lois, there's nothing on here
about monster trucks.
- You love monster-truck rallies.
- This is morning television, Clark
Monster trucks are not
gonna guarantee me a guy
who will impress the home viewers.
Look there are a lot of good things about you
that would attract a lot of great guys.
(sighs)
Really? Like what?
(stammers)
W
You're Lois.
Thanks, Clark.
But I already filled out my name.
Good luck on your date.
I'm sure you'll sweep
her off her feet.
[ keys clacking]
[ ♫ heavy metal music ♫ ]
Awh!
Stay in the fight!
Awh!
[ crowd cheering ]
[ crowd cheering ]
That's right.
Yeah! All right!
Why you got to keep making
me hunt you down?
Besides, how are you
supposed to pay me back
if you keep running away?
- Rick.
- Now, come on.
We wouldn't want anything to happen
to that pretty little face of yours.
That's your money-maker, baby.
[ engine revving ]
Nice wheels.
Nice leather.
Still, nothing compares
to Aston Martin's original V8 Vantage.
You know your cars.
[ engine revving ]
Whoa!
Whoa! Uh, why don't you take it
easy, there, speedy?
I'm trying to stay away
from life in the fast lane.
So why are you cruising for company?
Well, I'm not cruising for company,
actually.
I was looking for you.
I've seen you fight.
You got speed, strength.
You're talented.
Why do you care?
I'm just, somebody trying
to help you fix your life.
That last guy was twice your size,
kept on beating you down and
you just kept coming back after him.
I don't bruise that easily.
Well maybe not on the outside.
I know what I'm talking about Mia,
because I used to fight for
the same reasons that you do.
It never mattered who was
standing across from me,
because the real
battle was with myself.
I can train you
to teach you how to
overcome your fear,
all that hate in your heart,
and get you off the streets.
My hero.
So what's this help
gonna cost me hero?
Just a little time
time enough for me to prove
to you that you can trust me.
[ engine revving ]
Look, I can handle any hacker, okay.
But I think that you should know
someone's trying to get through to us
right now, and I think they're pretty good.
So
Then be better.
Fix the situation, Stuart,
or I'll have you terminated.
Okay.
By terminated, though,
you mean fired, right?
Right?
Thank you all for coming today.
For years,
I've tried to steer Luthorcorp
towards more environmentally
conscious projects.
I just had to prove
that going green
also meant going up
on the stock exchange.
Because thanks to the
cutting-edge technology
we've acquired through our new
partnership with R.
A.
O.
, Inc.
,
I believe this project
will put Luthorcorp on top,
Metropolis on the map, and
our planet back on course.
I give you the world's first
completely self-sustaining solar tower.
This one tower will
generate enough clean energy
to power all of Metropolis.
[ Applause ]
[ Zod clapping ]
Bravo, Tess.
Congratulations on an exceptionally
well-realized effort.
Mr.
Zod.
I never expected to see you here.
Oh, interesting,
seeing as I am now
Chairman and CEO of RAO.
[ Applause ]
Please, please.
Hold your applause
and save it for the real hero.
Our stunning hostess, Tess Mercer.
And by taking on this project,
she is making my simple dream
of harnessing the powers
of the sun a reality.
So here's to Tess Mercer
our savior.
I swear to you all this
tower will change the world.
[ ♫ ominous music ♫ ]
[ footsteps approaching ]
Here Clark,
sound-check time.
(clears throat)
Just say, "one, two, three.
"
One, two, three?
Put it in your ear first, big guy.
Huh.
Just tap it once to turn it on.
(beep)
One, two, three!
Wow Smallville,
talk about green.
It's like your first day at
the Daily Planet all over again.
Does this mean I'm about to hear
Lois Lane's rules of online dating?
There really is only one rule
when it comes to dating, Clark.
Show up.
Like after you ask someone
to a monster-truck rally,
it's a good idea to
show up to the date.
Maybe we should talk about
this when we're not being taped.
Okay Clark.
Let's talk about something else.
Like your online-dating profile.
But that was supposed to be private.
I'll give you this.
You definitely were honest.
But admitting
that you grew up on a farm
is either going to get you
a date with a country mouse
or a cougar looking
for her next meal.
(Catherine)
Hi.
Clark?
I'm Catherine.
Or not.
- Hello, Catherine.
- Hi.
- Ha--Ha--Have a seat.
- Okay.
I've seen these blind-date shows
on television before,
but I never actually
thought I would go on one.
This isn't live, is it?
They're taping it to
air at some other time.
If you can't take the heat, sister,
get out of the café
Sorry (chuckles).
I have this, really
annoying ringing in my ear.
I understand.
I'm nervous, too.
I can barely hear anything
over my own heartbeat.
Oh, please!
Just try to treat this
like any other date.
That's the problem.
I'm kind of busy
so I don't go on
dates much.
Well what is it that
keeps you so busy?
Well, until recently,
I was overseas
skiing in Switzerland,
modeling in Milan.
Where I was working
in the peace corps.
But then I decided to come
to Metropolis to take my PhD.
I couldn't decide between
sociology or social justice so
I'm doing both.
Is she for real?
Congratulations Clark.
You're dating Mother
Teresa in 6-inch heels.
(chuckles)
Great
(chuckles)
[ door closes ]
You're welcome.
- I didn't thank you.
- Well, you should,
because while your teams were out
scouring the globe, failing to find us,
I was using our considerably
evolved intelligence to make Luthorcorp
the most technologically
advanced company on earth.
And the question is what
do you want in return?
Someone who betrayed us.
The one you call the Blur.
I'm flattered you think,
of all the people on this planet,
that I'd know how to
find the Blur, but
you disappoint me Tess.
But I'll play your game.
The Blur's blood was used
as an antidote to a virus
that swept through
Metropolis weeks ago.
We were able to get a
sample of that blood.
We took it to the lab to be tested.
Instead, every last
drop had been destroyed
at your request.
What are you talking about?
Since you chose to destroy
the Blur's blood samples,
I'm guessing you're
trying to protect him,
maybe for some altruistic reasons,
or maybe you want to use
him as a bargaining chip.
I helped free
your people from that orb
because I'd hoped you'd
save humanity from itself.
But the only way I can
make sure that happens
is if we're equal partners.
No human will ever stand
on equal footing with a Kandorian.
Make her tell you
where this Blur is.
Or kill her.
Yes, Major.
(police siren in background)
Ollie, I need your help.
It's not a good time Lois.
You know how Clark and I have,
this side job hosting
"Good morning Metropolis"?
Uh.
.
Clark Kent's hosting
morning television?
I can't wait to watch him
show me how to bake a cake.
Well, our first report
does have some heat,
but it's not about baking.
They set us both up on blind dates.
(laughing)
Clark's on a blind date?
Talk about footage of a train wreck.
Well, you might want to save
the space on your DVR,
because here's the kicker.
He did great.
You want to be better.
That's why I'm here.
I need you to tell me my red flags.
Red flags?
You know, anything about me
that annoyed you while we were together.
I bought a killer dress.
I reserved the entire Ace of Clubs.
But if I don't identify
my deal-breakers,
they're gonna cancel this date
before it even gets to air.
Well, call it selective memory
or short attention span,
but I only remember the good things.
Like how you used to brush your
hair back when you were nervous, or
you used to call out
football plays in your sleep.
Thanks for the workout,
Ollie, but time's up.
Do you think you could
pay me in smaller bills?
Nice towel, honey.
Where will she put the money?
Umm.
See the thing is,
we were just sparring.
Don't worry Ollie, I'm not here to judge.
I just kind of hoped you'd
spend more than one week clean
before you got back in the gutter.
Sorry I interrupted your sparring.
(chuckles nervously)
Lois.
(police siren)
[ keys clacking ]
(beep)
(sighs)
Finally.
Another firewall?
[ keys clacking ]
That's right, my hapless hacker
You have been served.
(beep)
(beep)
What? Already?
Damn.
You are fast.
Okay.
I see your anonymous proxy filter
with your reinforced
protocol encryption,
and I raise you one rewritten A.
C.
L.
Denied.
Okay.
Now you made me angry.
(cracks neck)
[ keys clacking ]
I thought you said
no strings attached.
I'm not trying to
sleep with you, kid,
but if you think a pebble
in your shoe is painful,
wait till you feel what
a $50,000 watch will do.
Thank you.
Why don't you look around?
Why would you want to go
back out on the streets?
You don't get it.
If I can finish paying off
what I owe Rick, I'm done.
I'm free.
Well, how much do you owe Rick?
I'll cover it.
And then I'd owe you.
I don't think so.
- I'm not that kind of guy.
- Don't tell me about types, okay?
I know them all,
Rick's type, your type,
political types, twisted types.
And I'm sick of all of you.
Well, I'm not gonna trap you here, Mia.
I would just like to see you
do something with your life
that you can actually be proud of.
Why would you help someone like me?
Because I know what it
feels like to be stuck
in a place that you feel
there's no escape from.
And my friends
helped me find the way out.
(sighs)
If I stay
- it's gonna cost you.
- Way ahead of you.
I went ahead and had my
staff buy you some clothes.
I'm sure you'll find something
in there that you like.
Oh, hey.
I hope you dress
as fast as you drive,
'cause I'm gonna need you
to drop me off somewhere.
(exhales)
- You got anything stronger?
- Of course.
(chuckles)
The last thing you need
is a drink, Lois.
Thanks Clark.
You sound like my mother on prom night.
(sighs)
How do I look?
If this were a prom,
you'd be crowned Queen.
Your date's a lucky man.
Do I detect a note of jealousy
from the notoriously
nice Clark Kent?
Careful my date doesn't hear you.
He might just have
to take you down.
I'd like to see him try.
You know what they say,
all's fair in love and war.
And what's it gonna be for us Lois,
love or war?
Clark.
It sounds like you're asking me out
on another date.
If I was, would you say yes?
I'll tell you what I'd say.
Oliver?
- What are you doing here?
- Well, you wanted this television tryst
to make an impression, right Lois?
My blind date is with you?
Well, technically, your blind
date's leaving in the elevator.
I paid him to go seek
his 15 minutes of fame somewhere else.
(laughs)
[ tires screeching ]
You tell smiley he shows
up light one more time,
he's gonna go home in a box.
You understand me?
Yeah, I got ya.
I wasn't sure you'd show up,
princess.
This should finish
paying off what I owe you.
It belongs to Oliver Queen.
He's probably got 20 of these things.
The guy's richer than the Luthors.
A safe bet says he's got a safe
stuffed with cash someplace
which is why I want you to show us
where you dropped him off tonight.
Rick.
Did you honestly think
I would let you go?
Mia, honey,
you're my top earner, baby.
So you remember if you run,
I will find you.
If you move to another city,
my friends will hunt you down.
No second chances.
(laughs)
Wow!
I always kind of took
you for a beer girl.
No, no.
um
Only the finer things
in life for Lois Lane.
Oh yes, right.
Of course.
Then a toast.
(laughs)
Let's not.
aah.
Oliver.
It's bad enough that I catch you
dragging yourself through the mud again,
but now you're bound and
determined to ruin my date.
Okay, that meeting
that you walked in on, that was
someone I was actually helping.
Oh
(laughs)
Well, you obviously helped
her out of her clothes.
Very funny.
And I'm not
here to sabotage you.
I just thought your audience
might want a date with Metropolis'
most eligible billionaire bachelor.
That'd be me.
(chuckles)
I guess it wouldn't
hurt the ratings.
Okay.
You got 10 minutes
to explain yourself.
Well, I'm only gonna need one,
because there's really only
one reason why I came here.
I never finished saying what
it is that I loved about you.
(laughs)
Oh,
Lois, what's going on?
I don't know.
Let me just skip to the end.
The thing I love
about you the most
is that you're still in my life
because you're still in my heart.
Check, please.
Lois.
Lois.
Sorry Clark.
Couldn't this heart-to-heart have waited
until the cameras were off?
No.
I'm not hiding
my feelings anymore Lois.
And I kind of figured by saying
all that stuff with the cameras on,
I could prove that to you.
I had no idea
you still had such strong feelings.
I went to a really dark place Lois.
And I think it took going there
and coming back to realize
you're the best part of my life.
I love you Oliver,
as a dear friend
which is why I have to be
totally honest with you.
Clark.
Yes.
(clears throat)
I'm happy you know what you want.
I guess it just hurts
knowing it's not me.
I am so sorry.
(sniffles,clears throat)
Good night Lois.
[ door opens ]
[ horn honks ]
Oliver.
Hi.
I said I was your friend,
and I meant it.
I am not going to let you
wander down any more dark alleys.
Thank you.
But you don't have
to worry about me Lois.
I'm all about embracing life right now.
I'm not trying to end it.
You know what I mean? Trying
to take the right kind of chances.
And you, my friend, were definitely
a chance worth taking.
Thank you.
(sighs)
Is towel girl your driver now?
- Maybe your plan "B"?
- Very funny.
Her name is Mia.
And come on.
I'll introduce
you for real this time.
Mia.
Hey.
Mia.
[tapping on window ]
I'm sorry.
Oliver.
(*** gun)
uh, uh.
What's your hurry?
Oh, hey
Great work today.
Have you seen the new marketing ad?
I have high hopes for you, too.
So did I.
- You said you wouldn't hurt him.
- Back in the car Mia.
Tell me you didn't pick Prince
Charming here over Oliver.
Shut up and get in your
carriage, Cinderella.
Get off of me!
(beep)
Pretty boy's worth billions,
but you're not worth the headache.
(*** gun)
- I can't let you do this.
- Check this out.
Streetwalker thinks
she's a street fighter.
What are you gonna do Mia?
- Stay where you are.
- You gonna gun me down?
You don't have it in you.
You're no hero.
(*** gun)
[ gunshot ]
Go! Go!
[ machine gun fire ]
[ machine gun fire ]
Come on! Let's go! Go!
Lois.
[ air whooshes ]
[ machine gun fire ]
[ machine gun shot ]
[ gun explodes ]
[ air whooshes ]
(Rick groaning)
You will respect me.
[ door opens ]
Leave me alone.
I'm afraid I can't do that.
Excuse me?
[ doors closed ]
I had to wait until we were
locked down for the night
so we won't be interrupted.
You're Kandorian.
And I have a message from Major Zod.
Tell me where the Blur is
or you die.
[ keys clacking ]
Chloe.
- Did you find a lead on the Kandorian?
- I've run every play in my playbook
to try and access Tess' files,
but she's got one hell
of a defensive line.
The good news is that I've
only counted 100 firewalls,
so I think I'm actually
about to score.
Greetings, esteemable
foe, whoever you are.
Now, I'm guessing since
you've made it this far,
you probably haven't slept,
and your fingers are
getting really cramped up,
so I thought I would
take it upon myself
to do you a big favor
and just say give up.
I can do this all day and all night.
I'm sure you already
get the picture, so
talk to the hand.
Hello, hand.
Stuart Campbell, graduate of M.
I.
T.
,
talk to these hands.
Nice work Chloe.
So it looks like Stuart Campbell
is Tess' tech boy wonder,
and he has done some
pretty heavyweight hacking of his own.
Government databases, corporations.
Wow.
We could do a lot with
this kind of leverage.
Maybe even get him to join us.
It'll be an even match.
Clark, this guy is so good, every time I'd
get close, he'd show up and block me.
I know the feeling.
Lois and Oliver.
Seeing him with her.
It's been a long time
since he looked that happy.
Clark just stop, okay?
I mean your willingness to
sacrifice yourself for others
is a great strength, for sure,
but when it comes to your own happiness,
it's definitely a weakness.
But Oliver's been through a lot lately
and we're all friends.
Lois is not up for auction.
For once, try not to
second-guess things.
All you have to do is ask yourself
what do you want?
[ ♫ music ♫ ]
[ engine revs ]
[ engine revs ]
Lois.
Did you hear?
The brilliant brass over at KZXP
have decided to go with someone
else for their morning show.
Lois.
After everything that happened,
after Ollie and I almost got killed,
guess who they've
decided to go with.
Apparently blondes test
better with morning viewers.
- Lois
- I'm sorry.
I never should have tried
out in the first place
or dragged you there
with me, and I just