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(man) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU'RE WATCHING...
WHICH TONIGHT FEATURES A MAN
WHO'S SECRETLY WEARING A WIRE FOR THE FBI--WAYNE BRADY...
HE'S COMPLETELY IMPERVIOUS TO LAUGHTER--JONATHAN MANGUM...
THE ONLY CRAIG WE'VE EVER HAD ON THE SHOW--CRAIG CACKOWSKI...
AND THE MAN WHOSE WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN IMPROVISED--
COLIN MOCHRIE.
NOW HERE'S YOUR HOST-- FRED WILLARD!
WHOO! WHOO!
HI. WELCOME TO THE SHOW. TONIGHT WE'LL BE LOOKING AT
HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE INCREDIBLE LIFE OF OUR SPECIAL GUEST,
AND AT VARIOUS POINTS,
I'LL ASK OUR FOUR IMPROVISERS TO ACT OUT WHAT THEY'VE JUST HEARD.
THEY, OF COURSE, HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THE GUEST IS GOING TO TELL US,
SO THEY HAVE TO WATCH JUST AS CLOSELY AS YOU AT HOME.
SO LET'S MEET THE LADY WHO IS TRUSTING US WITH HER LIFE.
SHE'S AN ACTRESS, SINGER, AND AMERICA'S BEST-LOVED MOM--
STAR OF "THE BRADY BUNCH"--
PLEASE WELCOME FLORENCE HENDERSON.
♪♪♪
(cheers and applause)
WOW.
THANK YOU.
WHAT AN AUDIENCE YOU HAVE.
WELL, WHAT A--WHAT A GUEST.
FLORENCE HENDERSON--CAROL BRADY OF "THE BRADY BUNCH"...
YEAH.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
I WOULD DESCRIBE MYSELF AS OTHERS HAVE DESCRIBED ME.
I'M KIND OF CLASSY...
UH-HUH.
SASSY.
"SASSY."
UH, I'M KIND.
UH, I CAN BE RAUNCHY. SORRY.
(woman whoops)
WELL, LET'S EXPLORE ALL OF THOSE.
TO BEGIN WITH, YOU GREW UP IN RURAL INDIANA.
WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?
I WAS BORN ON A LITTLE, TINY FARM IN SOUTHERN INDIANA,
AND, UM, MY FATHER WAS A SHARECROPPER, A DIRT FARMER,
A DIRT FARMER?
OH, UH-HUH.
I-I THOUGHT HE RAISED DIRT.
WELL, SOMETIMES IT FELT LIKE THAT'S ALL WE HAD WAS DIRT.
OH, LORD, NO.
NO, MY FATHER DIDN'T MARRY TILL HE WAS ALMOST 50...
AND THEN HE HAD TEN CHILDREN.
I'M THE YOUNGEST.
HOW DID YOUR DAD REMEMBER EVERYONE'S NAME?
HE NEVER DID.
OH.
(laughs) YEAH, HE WOULD GO DOWN THE LIST,
LIKE, IF HE WAS GOING TO, YOU KNOW, YELL AT ME,
AND HE WOULD GO, "PAULINE, FLOR--EH... GAL."
I WAS ALWAYS CALLED "GAL."
WOW. ALL RIGHT. DID YOU HAVE PETS?
WERE THERE ANIMALS ON THE FARM? I HEARD YOU'RE AN ANIMAL LOVER.
I DO LOVE ANIMALS.
I LOVED TO WATCH THE HOGS, YOU KNOW, THE PIGS.
THEY WERE PETS.
WELL, SORT OF, YOU KNOW, BUT I-I GREW TO LOVE THEM,
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, MY FATHER, UH, IT WOULD COME TIME TO--
OHH.
JUST SO THEY HAVE NOT GIVEN THEIR LIVES IN VAIN,
LET'S USE THAT AS A STARTING POINT.
UM, THIS WILL BE OUR FIRST SCENE,
WHICH WILL BE FOR ALL OUR PERFORMERS,
STARTING WITH COLIN AND CRAIG, SO COME ON DOWN.
SO, COLIN, YOU ARE THE YOUNG FLORENCE...
AWW.
(Fred and Florence chuckle)
PREPARING A MEAGER BREAKFAST WITH YOUR BROTHER CRAIG.
WAYNE, YOU WILL PLAY FLORENCE'S DAD, WHO ENTERS
DRAGGING HER FAVORITE PET HOG OFF TO SLAUGHTER.
JONATHAN, UM, YOU WILL PLAY THE HOG.
(Florence laughs)
HOWEVER, TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE THE SCENE RIGHT,
YOU'RE GONNA HELP US, FLORENCE.
IF THE SCENE IS GOING AS YOU REMEMBER...
RING THE BELL...
OKAY.
AND IF IT'S NOT AS YOU REMEMBER
OR IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY THE SCENE IS GOING...
(honks horn)
UH, TOOT THE HORN THERE.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT. SO OFF YOU GO.
FLORENCE, WE'RE GONNA EAT LIKE KINGS THIS MORNING.
SHUT UP. I'M SASSY.
(laughter and applause)
(honks horn)
BUT NOT VERY CLASSY.
MAYBE YOU'LL ACQUIRE THAT LATER IN LIFE.
MAYBE. WHAT ARE WE HAVING FOR BREAKFAST?
A STEAMING PILE OF DIRT.
THAT'S FULL OF MINERALS. THAT'LL BE VERY GOOD FOR US.
GROWN RIGHT ON OUR DIRT FARM.
DAD'LL BE SO HAPPY TO SEE WE HAVE SOMETHING G--
(Wayne imitates gunshot)
(Southern accent) NOW Y'ALL WANT SOME MEAT FOR BREAKFAST?
NO--W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WAI-- WAI--WAI--WAI--WAI--WAIT!
HUH!
(squeals)
OH!
PUT IT DOWN, PIG.
STAND BACK, DAD. I'LL...
(squeals)
I KNOW, FLUFFY, BUT...
WE'RE EATING DIRT. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
(squeals)
(Craig) OH!
(bell rings)
I'M NOT GONNA ENJOY THIS.
DAD, DO YOU EVEN KNOW OUR HOG'S NAME?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW OUR NAMES?
YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL... (stammers) GAL.
(buzzer sounds)
(Fred) ALL RIGHT.
(bell ringing)
(cheering)
(Florence laughs)
FLORENCE--
FLORENCE, I IMAGINE YOU WERE VERY POPULAR WITH THE BOYS.
UH, WHAT WERE YOUR EARLY DATES LIKE ON THE FARM?
WELL, I REMEMBER, REALLY, ONE OF THE--THE FIRST DATES THAT, UM,
UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
AND WE WERE IN A CAR, AND I'M SITTING IN THE BACKSEAT
WITH THE YOUNG BOY THAT I WAS DATING.
OH.
AND JUST--WE'RE JUST SITTING THERE IN THE CAR, LIKE THIS,
AND OUT OF THE BLUE, HE LEANS OVER
AND KISSES ME ON THE MOUTH.
IT--AND IT WAS LIKE A SUCTION CUP. IT WAS LIKE--
IT WENT ALL THE WAY AROUND, AND I JUST SAT THERE LIKE THIS,
UH-HUH.
THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS AND MY FIRST DATE.
ALL RIGHT, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
THE KIND OF STORY OUR PERFORMERS MIGHT BE ABLE...
JUST TO GET THEIR-- THEIR TEETH INTO.
THIS WILL INVOLVE ALL FOUR OF YOU,
STARTING WITH COLIN AND WAYNE.
UH, THE SCENE WILL BE COLIN... UH, YOU ARE FLORENCE...
COLIN, YOU'RE ME ALL THE TIME. WHAT IS IT?
HE REQUESTED THAT.
OH. (laughs)
AND, WAYNE, YOU ARE HER OVERLY AFFECTIONATE BOYFRIEND.
UM...
YOU'RE ON A DOUBLE DATE IN WAYNE'S CAR
WITH CRAIG AND HIS GIRLFRIEND-- JONATHAN.
JONATHAN AND CRAIG LEAVE THE CAR BRIEFLY TO GO INTO THE WOODS...
OHH.
OHH... (laughs)
BUT THEY RETURN, HAVING ROLLED IN POISON IVY.
THERE'S A MESSAGE THERE SOMEWHERE.
I'D LIKE TO DO THIS AS A GAME CALLED SHORTER AND SHORTER.
YOU LOOK PUZZLED, WAYNE. WHAT?
THIS MEANS THEY MUST ACT OUT THE SCENARIO IN 60 SECONDS,
THEN DO IT AGAIN A NUMBER OF TIMES,
GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER EACH TIME.
SO OFF YOU GO, ON FLORENCE'S FIRST DATE.
(imitates engine whirring)
(makes clicking sound) OH, ENGINE DIED.
(feminine voice) NOWHERE TO GO BUT THE WOODS.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO IN THE WOODS, HANG OUT AND STUFF?
(Southern accent) I'M-A TAKE MY GIRLFRIEND JONATHAN OUT BACK.
(laughter and applause)
BUT--BUT--BUT-- BUT--BUT...
SO...
JUST A-- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT, HUH?
MM.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE PASSAGE.
OH. YOU LIKE--
(cheers and applause)
YEAH.
OH!
OH!
WE SURE DID!
DON'T GIVE IT TO ME!
(all) OH!
THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF IT IS TO KISS EVERYONE DEEPLY.
(buzzer sounds)
ALL RIGHT, DO IT AGAIN, IN HALF THE TIME--30 SECONDS.
(Florence) OH, JEEZ.
(imitates engine whirring) CLICK, STOP.
NOTHING TO DO BUT GO IN THE WOODS.
MY GIRLFRIEND JONATHAN.
GET OUT.
NO.
BIBLE.
MMM.
(cheers and applause)
POISON IVY! POISON IVY! POISON IVY!
EVERYBODY KISS!
(buzzer sounds)
ALL RIGHT, SHORTEN TO HALF THAT--15 SECONDS.
WOODS.
MATCH MADE.
GET IN.
AAH! POISON IVY!
(buzzer sounds)
(Fred) SEVEN SECONDS.
(cheers and applause)
SEVEN SECONDS.
(screeches)
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
BIBLE!
(all yell and moan)
(buzzer sounds)
(cheering)
AWW, WAYNE...
I LOVE YOU.
AHH. NOW I FEEL BETTER.
THAT WAS GREAT.
JOIN US AFTER THIS SHORT BREAK
FOR MORE FLORENCE HENDERSON AND "TRUST US WITH YOUR LIFE."
(cheers and applause)
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "TRUST US WITH YOUR LIFE,"
WITH OUR GUEST, THE WONDERFUL FLORENCE HENDERSON.
RIGHT NOW WE COME TO A SPECIAL PART OF THE SHOW,
CALLED FACE THE MUSIC, AND TO HELP US WITH THIS,
PLEASE WELCOME OUR GUEST PERFORMER, DAVID ARMAND.
(cheers and applause)
(Florence) HI, DAVE.
NOW, FLORENCE, THE WAY THIS WORKS IS THAT
WE'LL PLAY IN A POPULAR SONG THAT HAS A RELEVANCE TO YOU,
AND DAVID WILL ILLUSTRATE THE LYRICS THROUGH MIME.
UH, HOWEVER, YOU WILL BE WEARING HEADPHONES
AND WILL HAVE TO GUESS THE SONG PURELY FROM DAVID'S MIME.
UH, SO PUT ON YOUR SOUND-CANCELING HEADPHONES.
OKAY.
AND AS SOON AS YOU CAN'T HEAR ME...
YES.
(Rodgers and Hammerstein's "My Favorite Things" playing)
(woman) ♪ RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND WHISKERS ON KITTENS ♪
♪ BRIGHT COPPER KETTLES AND WARM WOOLEN MITTENS ♪
♪ BROWN PAPER PACKAGES TIED UP WITH STRINGS ♪
♪ THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ♪
♪ CREAM-COLORED PONIES AND CRISP APPLE STRUDELS ♪
♪ DOORBELLS AND SLEIGH BELLS AND SCHNITZEL WITH NOODLES ♪
♪ WILD GEESE THAT FLY WITH THE MOON ON THEIR WINGS ♪
♪ THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ♪
♪ GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES WITH BLUE SATIN SASHES ♪
♪ SNOWFLAKES THAT STAY ON MY NOSE AND EYELASHES ♪
♪ SILVER WHITE WINTERS THAT MELT INTO SPRINGS ♪
♪ THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ♪
♪ WHEN THE DOG BITES ♪
♪ WHEN THE BEE STINGS ♪
♪ WHEN I'M FEELING SAD ♪
♪ I SIMPLY REMEMBER MY FAVORITE THINGS ♪
♪ AND THEN I DON'T FEEL ♪
♪ SO BAD ♪
(cheers and applause)
YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT WAS?
WELL, I THOUGHT I DID,
BUT THEN YOU KEPT FOOLING WITH YOUR BREAST. I--
I... I DO THAT.
YOU DO THAT, OH. AND THEN THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT BIRDS.
THERE WERE GEESE.
THERE WERE GEESE. OH.
"WILD GEESE THAT FLY WITH THE MOON ON THEIR WING"?
YEAH.
OH.
AND IT'S--
"MY FAVORITE THINGS."
YES. BRAVO.
THAT WAS GREAT.
THANK YOU, DAVID ARMAND. CONGRATULATIONS.
(cheers and applause)
UH, WHY DO YOU THINK WE CHOSE THAT SONG AS RELEVANT TO YOU?
YES--
MANY TIMES.
(cheering)
OKAY, LET'S KEEP MOVING ALONG.
TIME, NOW, TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MOST ICONIC ROLE,
MM.
WAS THAT FUN? TELL US ABOUT THAT.
OH, IT WAS GREAT.
YOU KNOW, WE WERE THE, UH, FIRST BLENDED FAMILY...
ON TELEVISION, AND WE WERE THE FIRST COUPLE
THAT'S RIGHT. THEY COULDN'T DO THAT...
OR HAD TO HAVE A FOOT ON THE FLOOR.
WE HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU AT THE TIME.
THERE YOU GO. WHICH IS THE, UH-- OH, BOY. WHO WAS--
YOUNG MOMS, HUH? I'D LIKE TO SEE OUR PERFORMERS
PAY THEIR TRIBUTE TO ONE OF THE GREAT AMERICAN TV SHOWS NOW,
STARTING WITH COLIN AND CRAIG.
WE'RE GOING TO COMBINE THE PLOTS
IN SOME OF THE MOST FAMOUS "BRADY" EPISODES,
TO COME UP WITH OUR SCENE.
SO, COLIN, YOU'RE CAROL, SHOWING
A FLIRTATIOUS PROSPECTIVE HOUSE BUYER, CRAIG, AROUND.
SUDDENLY MARCIA, PLAYED BY WAYNE...
(Florence chuckles)
RUNS IN WITH A BROKEN NOSE,
FOLLOWED BY GREG, PLAYED BY JONATHAN,
WHO'S TRYING TO SMUGGLE IN AN ANIMAL MASCOT HE'S STOLEN.
UM, I'LL SUGGEST SOME--
SOME STYLES FOR YOU TO USE ALONG THE WAY,
BUT LET'S GET STARTED WITH OUR VERSION OF "THE BRADY BUNCH."
(Craig clears throat)
I HOPE YOU LIKE THE HOUSE.
WELL, I UNDERSTAND YOU SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS YOUR HUSBAND.
YES.
HOW RISQUE.
WELL... I'M A LITTLE RAUNCHY.
(laughter, cheers, and applause)
UM, AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE THIS LARGE STAIRCASE.
I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN UP THERE,
SO I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT LEADS.
(sobs)
MARCIA!
M-MY NOSE!
OH! (whines)
OHH. MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA!
(imitating Colin) MUHNUH, MUHNUH, MUHMUH.
WELL, WHO'S THE MOTHER AND WHO'S THE DAUGHTER HERE?
OH, STOP IT.
IT'S ME--GREG. I'M HOME.
I'M NOT TRYING TO SMUGGLE A FERRET INTO THE HOUSE.
(nasal voice) YOU'VE GOT AN ANIMAL MASCOT.
SHH, DON'T TELL 'EM!
GREG, YOU KNOW WE DON'T ALLOW
THAT SORT OF DANCING IN THE HOUSE.
(buzzer sounds)
OKAY, LET'S TRY IT IN THIS STYLE--
START FROM THE BEGINNING AS A SPANISH GAME SHOW.
HOLA!
LA CASA ES MUCHO GRANDE!
AHH! GRACIAS, GRACIAS!
SABADO, SABADO, SABADO! GIGANTE!
AHH! ME AND MI HUSBAND-O IN SAME BED-O.
EE! AI-YI-YI!
OH!
OHH!
MI NARIZ ES MALO. ES NO ES BUENO.
QUE LASTIMA, MAMACITA.
AAH-HOO!
AI-YI-YI! LOS FERRET-ES-- PANTALONES!
LOS FERRET SE PANTALONE!
(buzzer sounds)
(Fred) ALL RIGHT.
(cheers and applause)
LET'S DO IT AGAIN IN THE STYLE OF A HORROR MOVIE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE HOUSE.
A STAIRCASE TO NOWHERE!
DON'T--DON'T MAKE ME GET IN THAT BED WITH YOU!
YES!
EEK! MY NOSE! MY N-- (grunts)
(groaning)
(screaming)
MY NOSE! AAH!
(cheers and applause)
(screeching)
(buzzer sounds)
ALL RIGHT. TRY IT AGAIN AS JAMAICAN GANGSTERS.
(imitates Jamaican accent) CAROL, NICE HOUSE.
(imitates Jamaican accent) BUY IT.
OHH!
(imitates engine screeching and whirring)
(makes clanking sound)
(imitates Jamaican accent) LORD HAVE MERCY.
(Colin) MARCIA!
LO--LO--COME NOW, SEE THE NOSE UPON MY FACE CROOKED-SIDED?
OHH.
HIS ACCENT IS MUCH MORE AUTHENTIC.
AI-YA, MY NOSE GOING THAT WAY. THAT'S IMPROPER, EH?
(makes crashing noise)
(imitates engine starting)
OH!
(buzzer sounds)
(cheers and applause)
(Fred) THAT WAS GREAT.
OKAY. WE'RE GONNA TAKE A SHORT BREAK NOW. DON'T GO AWAY.
(cheers and applause)
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "TRUST US WITH YOUR LIFE,"
WITH MUSICAL STAR AND TV LEGEND FLORENCE HENDERSON.
LET'S TALK ABOUT "THE BRADY BUNCH" AGAIN.
NOW I READ THAT YOU HAD AN INTERESTING RELATIONSHIP
YES.
HE WAS YOUR SON GREG.
TELL US ABOUT THAT, HOW THAT ALL WENT DOWN.
MM-HMM.
SURE.
YEAH, AND HE LOVED MUSIC, AND HE KNEW I WAS A SINGER,
SO HE ASKED IF I WOULD GO ON A DATE WITH HIM
HOW OLD WAS HE?
HE WAS 15.
15.
HE HAD A DRIVER'S PERMIT.
SO HIS--
AND, UH, WHEN WE GOT HOME, HE KISSED ME
AHH.
VERY DELICATELY. ALL RIGHT.
BUT EVERYBODY SEEMS TO THINK THAT WE HAD AN AFFAIR,
NO.
WELL...
PROBABLY INCLUDING BARRY HIMSELF, BUT ANYWAY...
THIS SOUNDS LIKE AN AREA OUR PERFORMERS WOULD LIKE TO COVER.
UH, LET'S GO BEHIND THE SCENES AT "THE BRADY BUNCH,"
IN A GAME WE CALL SIDEWAYS SCENES.
THIS IS FOR COLIN, WAYNE, AND JONATHAN,
AND TAKES PLACE IN THE SPECIAL AREA BEHIND THE SET.
THEY'RE GOING TO ACT OUT THIS SCENE, BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS
THAT THEY'LL BE DOING IT LYING DOWN ON OUR MAGIC MAT.
I MAY ALSO THROW IN SOME DIFFERENT... STYLES.
(cheers and applause)
YOU'LL BE FLORENCE, WAYNE, A--
(laughter)
AND YOU'RE TRYING TO PERSUADE YOUR ONSCREEN SON,
PLAYED BY JONATHAN,
THAT HIS INFATUATION IS JUST A SILLY CRUSH.
A HORRIFIED MARCIA BRADY, PLAYED BY COLIN,
HAPPENS TO COME IN AT AN AWKWARD MOMENT.
IS EVERYONE READY? TAKE IT AWAY.
I'M SO EXCITED TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
JUST TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME!
OH... BARRY...
YEAH?
YOU AND I,
WE DO.
LOOK...
BUT I AM YOUR MOTHER ON THE SHOW,
AND--AND YOU ARE 15--
WHOO-HOO!
OH, SWEETHEART. WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE?
IS IT GONNA TAKE ME JUMPING...
OH!
CAREFUL.
UP ON THIS TABLE TO TELL YOU
THAT I CANNOT BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
(laughter and applause)
OH! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
YOU'RE TWICE HIS AGE!
IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!
W-WHOA! WHOA!
YOU LISTEN!
AAH!
THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT DESTROYS TELEVISION SHOWS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
AAH!
FLORENCE!
(buzzer sounds)
ALL RIGHT. UH, CONTINUE...
IN THE STYLE OF SCIENCE FICTION.
(makes beeping noise)
(makes whirring noise)
WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?
BECAUSE THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO BE.
I AM IN LOVE WITH HER!
(monotone voice) I--DO I NOT HAVE A SAY IN THIS?
(makes whirring noise)
(makes hissing noise)
I CANNOT BE YOUR MATRIMONIAL MATE UNIT.
(buzzer sounds)
ALL RIGHT. CONTINUE IN THE STYLE OF A JACKIE CHAN MOVIE.
HUAH!
HUAH!
PSHH--OHH!
(cheers and applause)
(buzzer sounds)
(Fred) ALL RIGHT.
NOW "THE MARCH OF THE PENGUINS."
(pants)
(applause)
(honks)
(buzzer sounds)
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT. COME ON DOWN.
THAT WAS GREAT. JOIN US AFTER THIS SHORT BREAK,
FOR MORE FLORENCE HENDERSON AND "TRUST US WITH YOUR LIFE."
(cheers and applause)
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
THAT'S THE END OF THE SHOW. THANKS TO ALL OUR IMPROVISERS.
AND THEY'RE NOW GOING TO PRESENT US WITH MESSAGES TO FLORENCE
FROM A NUMBER OF RANDOM ACQUAINTANCES
FROM HER WONDERFUL LIFE.
THANKS TO THE VERY ENTERTAINING FLORENCE HENDERSON.
I'M FRED WILLARD. SEE YOU AGAIN SOON.
HEY, FLORENCE.
I'M THE GHOST OF THE PIG THAT YOU ATE WHEN YOU WERE 9.
(squeals)
(buzzer sounds)
FLORENCE, I'M BOBBY BRADY.
I WAS GIVING OUT SIGNALS. WHAT THE HELL?
(buzzer sounds)
HEY, FLORENCE. IT'S ME--GREG.
OH, THERE'S MY BROTHER, AND THERE'S MY SISTER,
AND THERE'S MY MOM. OH, MY GOD. YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING.
(buzzer sounds)
HI, FLORENCE. I'M AN ADORABLE ORPHAN
THAT'S BEEN ADDED TO THE CAST OF "TRUST US WITH YOUR LIFE"
TO BOOST RATINGS.
(buzzer sounds)
'SUP, FLORENCE.
MY NAME IS TIQUAN LESTRAN JONES.
I'M SERVING ABOUT 15 TO 20 RIGHT NOW UPSTATE.
YOU DAMN HOT, GIRL.
(buzzer sounds)
HI, FLORENCE. IT'S ME.
I STILL TALK ABOUT THAT DOUBLE DATE. REMEMBER?
(laughter)