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“Gaiden” is a magical word: It means nothing has to make sense in the context of the series.
Makaimura Gaiden (AKA Gargoyle’s Quest) turned Ghosts ‘n Goblins into an RPG. Ganbare
Goemon Gaiden was... an RPG. Shining Force Gaiden... well, it was already an RPG, and
became a different RPG. And now, Puyo Puyo Gaiden: Puyo Wars is... a tactical RPG. WHICH
IS FINE BY ME, even if the concept of the a weird slime-like Puyo piloting a small battle-outfitted
animal-shaped tank thing is kinda jarring just on the face of it. I mean, how the hell
does it even interface with the device? All Puyo are good for are being lined up and exploding,
right? And isn’t there supposed to be a really beefy catfish and a magical girl like
in the last game? I’m not sure what to make of this anymore. Guide me, Felicity from Worcestershire!
Unfortunately, Felicity lives 3,618 miles away. (I counted.) So I was unable to hear
her response, or even if she heard me, so I had to go with my brain’s hard-wiring
to deconstruct and dominate any tactical RPG. (It’s a useful skill.) In this case, you’re
a precocious kid trying to stop a mysterious masked dude who totally looks like Shredder
from enslaving the Puyos for his obviously nefarious plot. And you do this via grid-based
combat. Your side consists of your Puyo-powered Puyo-piloted animal-tank-things, which look
kinda absurd but are, in fact, highly customizable. And that’s really awesome for a game like
this. Each unit has (usually) two innate weapon systems of various strengths, ranges, and
other attributes, and a third slot for some after-market parts what may or may not have
been scavenged off of defeated units in the heat of battle. Of course, it wouldn’t be
a precocious-kid-saves-the-world story if your dad doesn’t own and operate a Puyo-battle-tank-parts-shop
(crap, I’ve gone over my hyphen quota for this piece). Beats some schmoe just phoning
you and putting money in your bank account, huh.
But what’s really fascinating is a little wrinkle in the battle system: the equivalency
of attacks and movement, as far as actions per turn go. Each unit gets (usually) two
AP at the beginning of the turn, and can potentially attack twice, should an enemy be within appropriate
range. The fact that each attack prompts a counterattack cuts down on the more absurd
nature of this system, but it still provides unique considerations when planning your attacks.
Lure your enemies to the front line, and then let your already-placed artillery units just
rain the pain down on ‘em, or spend one point to move just outside your enemy’s
range to attack free from retaliation. It’s certainly got the tactical chops, and being
able to tinker with everything right down to elemental resistance is welcome... but
I have no idea why the heck this had to be a Puyo game in the first place. Now it’s
just a tolerable tactical game with big freakin’ googly-eyes staring at me from everywhere.
Everywhere, man. AAAAAAGGH!