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The Check-Oot Quine's Lament By Sheena Blackhall
Tatties, neeps, and ingan, Poother for the wash,
Wullie's needin new sheen, Grip, skyte, flash.
Sweeties, ale, some flooer, A tinnie wi a bash.
I'm wirkin like a robot, Grip, skyte, flash.
Safties, glesses, bacon, Eyntment for a rash,
Ma hoose is like a midden, Grip, skyte, flash.
Mealie jimmies, ganzie, Cheque, or caird, or cash,
Ma dowp is dottled sittin, Grip, skyte, flash.
Aathin's in a hurry, Fowk in sic a hash,
Customers anonymous, Grip, skyte, flash.
A trolley like Ben Nevis! Michty, fit a fash!
I'm scunnert and I'm foonert, Grip, skyte, flash.
Noo ma shift is endin, Beans and orange squash.
Hame tae dee the hoosewirk, Up, oot, dash!