Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
I know your heart hurts, I know your insides feel like they're rotting inside-out, I know
every one of your muscles are aching, I know that happiness seems like a distant fairy
tale, I know that sometimes the darkness is so appealing because you've been there so
long that it's like an old friend welcoming you home, I know that you notice all the little
things; the way someone talks, smiles, hurts, I know that you've cried for someone elses
pain, I know that you don't let yourself validate your own suffering. You stuff your problems
down until they become a monster in your stomach trying to claw their way to the surface to
scream for help. Instead of screaming, you smile. You're sitting in your room fighting
the battle like a soldier at war. Every day's a struggle to make it to the next. It's hard
to survive when your mind is trying to kill you but baby it's worth it. Remember the days
when if someone saw your wrist you could blame the cat? What happens now that the cuts are
getting deeper, your eyes are getting duller, and your laughter becomes forced? Those cuts
on your wrist are no mistake, you feel like no cares enough to see your self hate. It's
time for the world to bow its ugly head in shame. The little girl with the beautiful
smile has gone away and isn't sure if she can make it back today. Society destroyed
her or so you think, but that lovely girl is sitting, waiting for you to welcome her
back out. You feel like your presence is no longer needed in this world, but to be cliche..it
will only make you stronger. This isn't the end, there's a light at the end of your tunnel.
People tell you life is worth fighting for and suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary
problem but how do you believe that when it's been 10 years of agony, 10 years of loss,
10 years of friends deciding you are no longer worthy, 10 years of a father who doesn't love
you the way he should, and 10 years of wishing you were dead. The 9 years leading up to that
were filled with nothing but an unwillingness to see your personal tragedy. When you're
19 and your life is supposedly beginning how is that you're expected to move forward if
when you look behind you all you see is damage and the common denominator is you. But you
with the heart meant for loving and the need for everyone to be as loyal as you are, YOU
are not the problem. This world that's run by greed and ***, this world that promotes
sin and selfishness, this world that tells you that you are supposed to look like the
girl in the magazine, this world that claims God is uncaring, is the problem. You are merely
affected by the wave of destruction that it cause.
It's time that you accept that you are not normal nor will you ever be, it's time to
cry for yourself because you deserve to be cried for. Accept that depression is your
disability and that you need, no, you deserve help. Would you deny a child a hug when they're
crying? Would you deny a person who can't walk a wheelchair? No you wouldn't, so why
are you denying yourself help and love? YOU are worthy, YOU are beautiful, YOU are not
alone, and YOU deserve help. Darling let your broken wings mend.