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Hey guys, Abbi J here and I am so excited to do a video on charm and being charming
today.
Because this is a buzz word on the internet.
Everybody wants to be more charming, more charismatic and have people like us, and think
that we are charming and fun to be with.
If you look on YouTube there are a million videos out there on all these little things
that you can do.
You can smile, you can stand taller, you can have a better presence.
And all these things are great for charm but if you don't master the three tips that I
am going to share with you today on charm, then all of those other little things aren't
going to matter.
I am going to get right down to it and talk to you about why these three tips matter so
much if you want to be charming.
So let's get started.
[Intro Music]
The first tip is to have a sense of humor.
Now, I don't mean that you tell the best jokes or that you have people rolling on the floor
laughing all the time, or that you're the class clown.
I'm sure that you know people who are hilarious but really lack a sense of charm.
And that's because this isn't about how funny you are it's about using humor and how you
use your humor.
What I mean by this is that when something happens to somebody or you find yourself in
a situation when you can just feel the tension and feel the awkwardness, that you use humor
to defuse that situation.
The best tip I can give you with this tip, [ha ha] double tip, the best advice I can
give you with this tip is to find some people that you admire and respect, that you find
that have a great sense of humor.
One that matches yours.
We all have different levels of humor and what we think is funny and look and study
some of the keywords and phrases that they say in tricky situations or they say that
really always get a laugh that is really genuine.
You know, never poke fun at people but see what some of these comedians and famous actors
and actresses are doing that make them so that people think that they have this great
sense of humor.
And you can use some of those phrases!
Try them on, see if they work for you, see if how you say them can be just as funny as
how they do it.
So that is tip number one, develop a sense of humor and use it in difficult, intense,
unique situations.
The second step is to have tact.
Some of us are born with this awesome sense of tactfulness.
Some of us have to develop it.
And all of us could use more tactfulness.
And all tact is, is being sensitive to people in difficult situations.
Or in even simpler English, that you are mindful of other people's feelings.
What this looks like, is when your friend falls in the hall, whether they literally
just trip and stumble up or they splatter their books everywhere in a monstrous fall,
that you understand that that would be embarrassing.
Because either you have experienced it or it's common enough that you're like, "yeah,
I would be uncomfortable in that situation."
or that, "I would feel this way in that situation."
That you can feel that emotion and that you would understand what you would like to have
done, meaning you help them up, and using a little humor you might say something like.
"Well, that looked like a dance move!" and just walk on and pretend it didn't even happen
because that's what you would like somebody to do for you.
Even if they laugh, pretending it's not embarrassing, tact is knowing to not bring it up again,
to not shout in front of all your friend, "Guys, you missed the funniest thing!
So and so feel on their face and blah blah blah."
That is not being charming.
That's throwing somebody under the bus.
So to have tact means that you are going to allow people to save face.
Now the last tip that I have for you on being charming is to assume rapport.
What this means is that when you see somebody whether they are a casual friend, you've just
met them, or they are an acquaintance, you know, not your best buddy, you act like you
guys are really great friends.
Now, this isn't being fake, because people can see through that in a heartbeat.
Being genuine is key here because you need to treat everybody like you treat your friends,
which is a really real thing.
Whenever you meet somebody be warm, invite them into your circle.
Another thing to be very charming is to fill them in on what the group is talking about.
Make them feel welcomed and that you really are happy that they are there and that guys
have great rapport.
I experienced this first hand just the other day.
My husband and I went to a party and knew two people there.
And it was kind of an awkward experience for me because I wasn't sure who to talk to so
I'm clinging to my husband's side and we ran into this guy that neither of us knew.
And we started talking.
He was charming, in the sense that he was funny, he had tact to know that I probably
felt awkward that I didn't know anyone at that party and the greatest thing that he
did was that he established rapport.
We started talking and they brought some food in for this party and his buddy came up and
hit him on the shoulder and said, "Come get some food with me!"
And he said, "You know, give me a minute, pizza can wait, I'm talking to my new buddies."
And that just instantly made him so likable.
That when my husband and I got home we were both like, "That guy was so fun to be around."
And that's how you want people to feel about you!
And that's what charm is all about.
Is being attractive to other people and not just in a physical sense.
So when you use those three tips of haveing a good sense of humor, having tact, and being
mindful of people's emotions, and just assuming that you guys are friends and that they have
rapport with you it's going to be a drastic change in how charming people perceive you.
So yes, there's awesome tips like go smile, have great presence and stand tall, and have
charisma to be charming.
But those are the three things--the three fundamentals of charm.
And I hope they helped you out today.
These are things I work on all the time to so leave some comments below if you like this
video give it the nice thumbs up button and please subscribe to my channel.
Thank you so much for watching these videos.
Abbi out.