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Hello and welcome to Vermont. Although it's Spring, technically, it clearly doesn't look
like Spring here, but as a lot of you know I've been on the East Coast visiting my family
and I had the opportunity to see my brother for a couple days and I have not seem my brother
in well over a year so it was nice to spend some time with him and yesterday I had an
experience that was very interesting, It was an opportunity for my to apply the things
in the last two lessons, the last two Soul Workouts that we talked about, and I just
wanted to share with you another practical application of these spiritual ideas. It is
not some lofty thing you kind of just study because you should and you wanna feel good,
of course we want to feel at peace and we want to feel happy but it's really really
practical and it's in the practical application of these ideas that you will experience that
peace and that happiness. So yesterday, my brother was not acting out my script. He was
not doing what I wanted him to do the way I thought it should be done, you know, that
whole thing and I was basically having a temper tantrum like I was five years old and luckily
at the time when I decide I was going to be angry, he was not home and so I had the opportunity
to apply the last two lessons. The first thing I did was I felt my anger. I was so frustrated
with him, so annoyed. It brought up a lot of stuff that he did years and years ago so
it was just kind of loaded and I was just so angry, and I felt those feelings and I
brought them to the truth. So two weeks ago we talked about this, just feeling that anger
and then bringing that anger to truthful statements. So I was saying, "I am never upset for the
reason I think" and really backing that with a lot of energy and I started to calm down
as I let those feelings pass through. I closed my eyes, focused on my breath and just came
back trying to calm myself down. And then, I started to question my thoughts. Like I
said, he wasn't home so I didn't just initially react to my anger, I had that opportunity
to question before I reacted and that made all the difference because on the time I felt
my feelings and calmed myself down, I was like, you know, is this true? Is this really
a big deal Amanda? Why are you getting so upset? What is really going on here? And so
it was a lot deeper than my brother. It really had nothing to do with him. And on the time
that he got home, I was fine. You know, I was at peace about it, I didn't even bring
it up. It was done. It wasn't about him. And then, so I thought, yea, I though it was all
good. Later that day, I noticed myself mindlessly snacking on popcorn and my eating behaviors
are always kind of a tool that I use to come back and do deeper into what's really going
on. And I realized, it hit my instantly, I feel guilty for having those thoughts in the
first place. You know so the ego just came back again and tried to get me to feel guilty
about my anger in the first place. So although I did all these techniques and I came back
to a place of love and I did not react out of a place of fear and I felt totally good
about it, I still felt guilty for having those feelings in the beginning. And so, this is
really essential is, you are not those feelings. Those feelings do not define you and don't
own them. Don't start saying, "Oh you know I'm such a horrible person. How could I even
think that about my brother?" You know? And you just go deeper into fear. So it's just
more fear in a different form. And I recognized that and I was like whoa whoa whoa, I am innocent!
I am innocent! And I kind of was like bring it ego because I'm not going to fall for this
trick. I am innocent and I'm not going to feel guilty for feelings because feelings
are valid, the thoughts that they're based on might not be which is exactly what I was
experiencing. The thoughts I had about my brother were not true they were just based
on my perception of him because I was choosing fear. So don't own that. Don't own that story
of, "I'm a horrible person for thinking this" because that's not who you are. And so take
it a step further. This is really about, yea you can come back to love you can apply these
ideas and these tools but watch for that guilt because the whole point of my spiritual practice
is to remember my innocence and to release myself from guilt. And so don't fall for that
ego trick. Don't ow your story, don't own all that stuff. Apply these ideas and just
catch it when the ego comes up just be like "bring it ego" I'm just going to follow it
up with some truth. I am innocent. I am innocent. I am innocent and I'm not going to feel guilty
for my feelings, especially when I didn't even react to them. And even if I had reacted
to them by the way, even if I had yelled at my brother, I am still innocent. You're still
innocent and that is just a mistake and all you need is a little adjustment, we talked
about that in this video and then it's good. It's all good. Forgive yourself. You are still
innocent no matter what you think you have done. So if you liked this Soul Workout please
subscribe to my YouTube channel, give me a thumbs up. Leave my your questions and comments
below, I really love hearing from you. I love interacting with everyone in this community.
This is such a passion project of mine so I'm really thankful that you're watching and
hopefully you find these videos helpful. I will see you next week!