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When you believe the best they said there's this spiral of love that takes place. It's
ascending. It builds love. But when you assume the worst it's a spiral that kills love. When
you criticize, when you focus on what they're not, what they don't do, and when you are
so aware of what you're not getting it just destroys it. Why do we assume the worst? Why
do we do it? Maybe cause that's what happen to us when we were kids, people just assumed
the worst. Or you know your perfectionist so you're always measuring people against
an unrealistic thing. Maybe cause it's easier. It's just easier to assume the worst isn't
it? But you know what I think the biggest reason on why we assume the worst is because
it just feels right. There's a justified self-centeredness. You know you said this, but you did that.
You said you'd be on time. But you didn't you weren't. And you know what you're winning
the argument and you're killing the marriage. You're winning the argument and you're destroying
love. Because when you assume the worst you are killing love in your marriage, in your
friendships, in your kids, with your parents, you are destroying love. And you know the
people in your life. You know this to be true; they do not want to let you down. There isn't
a person in your life that is really trying to let you down. They want to be a loving
person. They want to be what's important. But when you assume the worst. You're just
saying to them over and over again. You'll never measure up and what you do does not
matter.
And I want to say it one more time. What's the most fatal thought to love? It's believing
that you can close the gap. The most fatal thing you can do is to say somehow I'll just
let go of my expectations they wont matter, I'll just live with it, all in sadness. Cause
you punish them and it will never go away. Or I'll just change. If they love me they
would if they cared about me they would. All they have to do believe me I've sat with a
number of you. And if they just do this, which is about their behavior. But you know what
is amazing about God's word? And research the one thing that it takes to build love
into a relationship is in your hands. Because in every relationship there is this giant
gap. No one sizes down the gap. There is no body that knows how to make this gap smaller.
But the one thing that you get to do is believe the best. It's the one thing you can do. God's
word says it. And you know what's phenomenal? If you want to boil marriage down and you
say what makes marriage work, what makes people, it's be a loving person and what does it mean
to be a loving person? That's right cause read it with me again. Love always protects,
it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And so you believe the best. When you assume
the worst, people will fear you. They won't want to come home they won't want to be there
for you. They won't want to try to explain things to you. They won't want to talk to
you. You will drive them away the good news is when you believe the best. It brings out
the best in people.