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[Clip from "Hou Lou Meng"; scene of a sick Qingwen (Yang Mi's character) on her deathbed.]
Host: This drama...I heard was very difficult while filming.
I heard that in that scene, your acting even made director Li Shaohong cry.
YM: Yes...there--there was one scene where she cried.
Because...actually during the time when I was filming "Hong Lou Meng", it was really quite...
you can say that it was a time of my life where I was almost near breakdown/collapse.
Because at that time I was also filming another series at the same time, it was CP3,
and the feel/genre of it was completely different than "Hong Lou Meng".
So when I had to fly back and forth between the two production sets,
well first of all the personalities of the two characters are vastly different,
and at that time was when I only *just* had the opportunity to enter this sort of
high-workload lifestyle, so I hadn't adjusted yet.
That is...4 months in a row I think, every day I could only sleep 2 or 3 hours,
that's the truth, so I was near breakdown,
and then director Shaohong told me, she said:
"Your acting style is wrong. It is too procedural/methodical. You have to change."
At the time, as an actress, I was completely blindsided, really just blindsided.
Because she needs to completely crush you/break you apart, and then "reform" you from scratch.
This was a really difficult and painful process, for me,
So at that time everyday on set I actually often got scolded/lectured by director Shaohong,
because she would say "you're doing this wrong, you're doing that wrong."
I know what she was saying was correct, but I just didn't know how to do it properly.
It's just...continually getting rejected, continually getting rejected,
and after going through several days of continually trying to "break in", I filmed a scene;
it was the "sewing the peacock cape" scene.
I remember that scene we filmed a week--just that one scene took a week.
At the time it was the very last scene of the day;
after I finished the scene I was lying there, my heart heavy,
I kept crying, because that scene [was a crying scene]
and then...I heard over by the cameras,
for a long time the director did not say "cut" or anything.
And then at the end the director very softly said one sentence, "ok we're done."
[YM's reaction to that] "Huh?"
Because at the time--I thought, I--had done it kind of alright.
But because I had been used to constant rejection, so I was a bit scared,
but I still wanted to go ask the director, "How did you think I acted that scene?"
And then I put on my down coat [what actors often wear on set between takes to keep warm]
nervously went to the director, and said,
"Were you...satisfied with that scene, what we just filmed?"
And then I saw her standing there wiping her eyes, and then she said:
"See, if you want to do it well, you are capable of it too."
And then in that one instant, the thrill and happiness that I felt,
completely made up for all the...rough times, the tiredness, the hardship,
and my own feeling of inadequacy/lack of confidence that I had before.
That one moment of thrill and happiness completely made up for all of it.
Like...it was a feeling even happier than when I was in elementary school and got 100% on a test.
It was just, suddenly you finally received a bit of recognition
from a person you highly respect. [See note #1 for details on director Li Shaohong]
Host: So during this whole process what do you think is the driving force that keeps you going,
that makes you determined to persevere to the end?
(Repeated lines after commercials)
YM: It's just that I keep thinking, "I can do it." Simply "I know I can do this".
Host: Just "I know I can do this"... YM: Mmm-hmm...
is this a type of expression of your confidence [in yourself]?
YM: Not really "confidence", it's just "refusal to give up".
The work of an actor has a very practical side, and that is this:
if you do not have a certain level of results, if everyone does not see the result that you produce,
actually all your determination and hard work is something that no one will see.
That is, no matter how hard you work or persevere no one will see it.
This is a fact, because no one will be interested in you.
That is, everyone has absolutely no interest in you,
so people do not care whether you're dead or alive. [See note #2 in description for commentary]
And that state, I personally experienced for a long time.
i.e. for a long time I was not someone that was viewed highly.
And also...I have had times where there were some external blows/attacks,
or I was "bullied" by some so-called "injustices", more than once;
during those times I just tell myself, "I will not give up."
Host: I heard that at one point you were about to act in a series,
and even signed the contract, and the initial deposit paycheck was even sent to you,
but just when they were ready to film, they told you they changed the actress to someone else.
YM: Yes...yes, that has happened. Host: What kind of situation was that?
YM: ...perhaps, it's that I was not important enough I guess.
So...they will choose what is of most benefit to them,
and so lightly brush you off/ditch you.
Or perhaps when a person, or a group of people, are very important to you,
but in reality you are not important to them at all, in fact they feel that you are nothing.
Actually this kind of situation is very common. Host: Very common, really?
YM: I think so...at least, I personally have encountered this more than once, maybe.
Host: What do you really think, do you think,
"it's much too common in this industry, so I will just have to live with it?"
YM: (nods) I feel, I think it's just that I am not strong enough.
Actually at the time I was blaming myself, I didn't blame other people,
I just felt that I myself was not strong enough,
and when you finally sign a contract, there is the hard work of many many people behind it,
so, when the other party breaks the contract,
it is not just me, but also for many of the people around me,
it is a sort of "dimissal" of all our work. It's not just me.
So I think, it's that I am not strong enough;
I want to be stronger to protect these people [who work for/with her].
Host: I guess it's that you need to continually have your results/productions,
your roles/characters, be recognized by everyone; only that way you can go far
in your acting career. Do you have any plans for that?
YM: Actually sometimes life is rather strange.
Perhaps when you really aren't thinking too much about it,
*that* is when suddenly something good/lucky will come by.
So...even if you dream into the clouds,
you still need to walk solidly on the ground step-by-step
and walk the path in front of you [do a good job on everything in front of you].
Perhaps you can plan 10 years, 5 years, even just 1 year ahead,
But I think plans are just plans; when an opportunity arises,
perhaps you will never even have thought about it!
So I think I just need to cherish the chances that others give me,
And then just work solidly, still always persevering and working hard, never giving up.
I think..."Gong", for me, was a surprising "out of the blue" reward/gain,
being liked by so many people, being recognized by so many people.
But it is really just a process, it is not a start nor an end. Just a process.
Host: They say you are "ping ming san niang", [= "girl that fights with her life to work hard"]
but looking at your small/slender fragile-looking frame,
can you really undertake this much of a workload? Don't you get tired?
YM: Well yes, I will get tired
Host: Then can you refuse, can you just say, "some of these I won't participate in"?
YM: We came from--I think we came from, completely new young actors that have nothing,
and then came all the way to today, where the opportunities would be much more than before,
mmm...so I think that for me, I am especially grateful,
especially cherish/treasure these opportunities.
And so for the opportunities that are given to me I want to say...
[my company] asks me "Do you want to do these thing? You don't have to."
I say, "Yes, I *would* like to do them, and I will do them well."
Host: Now exactly how hard does she work? Let's give a few examples of her "hard-working nature".