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(John A.) THE STAGE IS SET...
I'M A BALL STAR! I'M A BALL STAR!
AN ALL-STAR CAST OF OUR MOST MEMORABLE CONTESTANTS
IS BACK FOR ONE MORE SHOT AT GLORY.
THESE ALL-STARS WILL FACE
BRAND-NEW BIGGER AND CRAZIER CHALLENGES
ON THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY OBSTACLE COURSE EVER ASSEMBLED.
THOSE ALL-STARS MUST BE PREPARED
TO ENDURE BREATHTAKING SPILLS, SPECTACULAR TUMBLES
AND CATASTROPHIC FALLS.
ONLY THE FOUR SWIFTEST AND FASTEST ALL-STARS
WILL MOVE ON AND COMPETE IN OUR FINAL OBSTACLE COURSE,
THE BIGGEST OF THEM ALL-- THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
(groans)
AAH!
TO SEE WHICH ALL-STAR WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS
AND WHICH WILL...
(woman) I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA THROW UP.
HELLO, AMERICA, AND WELCOME TO "WIPEOUT."
I'M JOHN ANDERSON HERE WITH JOHN HENSON,
AND TODAY, IT'S A VERY SPECIAL ALL-STAR EDITION OF "WIPEOUT."
OH, SO WE BROUGHT BACK ALL THE WINNERS?
NOPE, NOT A WINNER IN THE BUNCH,
BUT THEY ARE SOME OF OUR FAVORITE,
AH, SO THEY'RE REALLY MORE LIKE "FALL-STARS."
NOW THAT'S WELL PUT, AND TODAY, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR REDEMPTION
AND ANOTHER SHOT AT 50 GRAND.
WELL, DO THEY UNDERSTAND THAT OUR NEW COURSE
MAKES LAST YEAR'S LOOK LIKE A SPA TREATMENT?
UH, WE WILL SOON FIND OUT FOR SURE
AS OUR ALL-STARS TAKE ON THIS WEEK'S "WIPEOUT" QUALIFIER.
IT ALL STARTS WITH THE SPIKED FENDERS.
THAT'S A SPIKY BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER OF MUD.
MM, MUD.
AFTER THAT, WE MOVE ON TO THE SUCKER PUNCH.
AH, DON'T LET THE NAME FOOL YOU.
IT PUNCHES EVERYONE.
AND THEN ON TO OUR OLD FRIENDS THE BIG BALLS
AND THEIR NEW FRIEND THE MOTIVATOR.
YEAH, THE ALL-STARS BETTER WATCH THEIR BACKS,
FROM THERE, IT'S ON TO THE TRAMPOLINE HURTLES.
I BELIEVE YOU MEAN "HURT-LES," JOHN.
MM-HMM.
AND FINALLY, OUR ALL-STARS WILL HAVE TO MAKE THEIR WAY
ACROSS THE TRAPEZE SWING SET.
OF OUR 24 ALL-STARS,
ONLY THOSE WITH THE TOP 12 TIMES
WILL MAKE IT PAST THE QUALIFIER AND ON TO THE NEXT ROUND.
WELL, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO IS CRAZY--
I MEAN, COOL ENOUGH TO COME BACK...
AND GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT.
THE THIRD MEMBER OF OUR "WIPEOUT" TEAM JILL WAGNER
IS DOWN ON THE SIDELINES.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
LET'S START THE ALL-STAR EPISODE OF "WIPEOUT."
OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS "SUPER STU."
SUPER STU IS BRINGING IT, BABY!
SUPER STU--
HE WAS THE HERO OF OUR "WIPEOUT" BOWL SPECIAL,
YEAH,
WHOO!
(Jill) HIS BELLY MAKES ME HAPPY.
REALLY? IT'S MAKING ME SEASICK.
SUPER STU TOSSING OFF HIS CAPE
AND HIS SUPER SWIM CAP.
OH, BABY. LET'S DO THIS.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THE LAST TIME SUPER STU WAS HERE,
HE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
(groans, screams)
OH, HO!
YEAH, AND IT LOOKS LIKE SUPER STU'S ARCHENEMY
IS GRAVITY, AND THEY APPEAR TO BE LOCKED IN MORTAL COMBAT
AS HE MAKES HIS WAY UP THE STAIRS.
YEAH, NOW HE HAS TO DEAL WITH THAT SECOND SET OF FENDERS.
OH, HO HO!
SUPER STU TAKES A HEADER INTO THE MUD.
MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T HAVE
WHOA!
JOHN, IT SAYS HERE
THAT SUPER STU IS ACTUALLY A BOXER,
IT DOES? REALLY?
HMM.
OH, NO, WAIT. I'M SORRY.
IT SAYS HE WEARS BOXERS.
MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WEARING A GIRDLE.
(slow motion) OH!
WOW, SUPER STU LOOKING
A LITTLE BIT MORE LIKE "SO-SO STU."
I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.
HE'S COMING UP TO THE BIG BALLS,
AND NOW WOULD BE A SUPER TIME
TO START USING THOSE SUPERPOWERS.
(groans)
OH! HE NEEDED THE CAPE.
OH!
SUPER STU!
THE ABILITY TO GET "JIGGLY" WITH IT.
(groans)
(groans)
MMM.
NOW STEPPING ONTO THE TRAMPOLINE HURTLES.
WHOA. STAYING ON HIS FEET.
RUNNING OVER THIS, JOHNNY--
WOW.
HE'S AT THE END.
THAT-- THAT WAS SPECTACULAR.
MM.
LET'S SEE HOW HE HANDLES THE TRAPEZE SWING SET.
WHOA!
(laughing)
MAYBE THAT SWING'S MADE OF KRYPTONITE.
I THINK IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO
WITH STU'S ARMS BEING MADE OF HAM.
WHEW!
VERY RESPECTABLE TIME OF...
HEY, OUR ALASKAN FRIEND
ARIEL "NEVER BEEN KISSED" TWETO IS BACK.
JILL SPOKE WITH HER EARLIER.
TELL ME YOU HAVE BEEN KISSED BY NOW.
YES, AND I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE BEEN MISSING OUT FOR 21 YEARS.
I'M LIKE A KISS-AHOLIC NOW.
NO, I'M KIDDING. I'M NOT. I'M NOT. DAD, I-I'M KIDDING.
WELL, KIDDING OR NOT, IT IS TIME TO GET SERIOUS
WITH THE BIG BALLS.
AND SHE ACTUALLY CROSSED THESE LAST TIME, REMEMBER,
WITH THAT TECHNIQUE CALLED "THE SEAL HOP."
(screams)
OOH!
ARIEL USING A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT TECHNIQUE--
THE "SEAL FLOP."
UH, THAT WAS EFFECTIVE, REALLY.
YEAH, AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR ARIEL'S DAD,
(kissing noises)
"HELLO, MY NAME IS ARIEL, AND I'M A KISS-AHOLIC."
ARIEL NOW APPROACHING THE TRAMPOLINE HURTLES.
(screams)
OH, HO HO!
KISS-AHOLIC ARIEL TAKING IT RIGHT IN THE KISSER.
THIS KISS-AHOLIC THING IS GETTING OUT OF HAND, JOHN.
(screams)
MIGHT BE TOO LATE FOR THAT.
THAT WAS FUN. WHOO!
"FUNNER'S" NOT A WORD, JOHN.
LET'S GO, ARIEL. THERE'S--THERE'S NO POLE.
NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T REMEMBER,
THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.
ARIEL HAD JUST MADE IT OVER THE BIG BALLS
WHERE'S THE POLE?
SHE COULDN'T SEE THE 20-FOOT POLE
WHERE'S THE POLE?
YEAH, SO LIKE THEY SAID, "NO POLE THIS TIME,"
BUT SHE DOES NEED TO TRAPEZE HERSELF ONTO THAT SWING.
WHOA.
(Jill) LET'S GO, ARIEL.
YEAH!
ALL RIGHT, STANDING UP
YEAH! WHOO!
DANCING PROVES THAT RHYTHM IS A GIFT BESTOWED UPON FEW.
AND SPEAKING OF DANCING AND POLES,
WHOO!
WHOA, HO HO! LOW BLOW, JOHN.
JESSI DURAN IS A VERY SWEET, VERY INNOCENT GIRL.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, JOHN--
TOTALLY SWEET. REALLY INNOCENT.
THANK YOU.
NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE WORKING AT A LIBRARY NOW.
(laughs)
WHAT--WHAT KIND OF LIBRARY? (giggles)
THE KIND OF LIBRARY THAT HAS A 2-DRINK MINIMUM?
OKAY, SO SHE WORE A SKIMPY LITTLE BIKINI
WHEN SHE SPOKE WITH JILL,
MM-HMM.
(slide whistle plays)
I'M NOT WEARING THESE.
WELL, THE RECESSION AFFECTS EVERYONE, JOHN.
NOW IN HER "WORK UNIFORM,"
(screams)
OH!
BUT HEY, CHECK IT OUT.
WE WERE WRONG ABOUT HER BEING A LIBRARIAN.
(giggles)
HEY, JOHN, LOOK AHEAD ON THE COURSE.
OH, YEAH!
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, WELL, JILL HAD TO BREAK SOME BAD NEWS TO HIM.
THEY'RE, UM, SEEING SOMEONE ELSE.
THE BIG BALLS ARE SEEING SOMEONE ELSE.
(harp plays, dramatic music playing)
ARE YOU GONNA CRY?
DON'T CRY.
JOHN, THIS IS A BIT AWKWARD.
IMAGINE SEEING FOUR EXES ALL AT ONCE.
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU DATED FOUR WOMEN?
ALL RIGHT, HERE GOES THE WEIRDO.
NICE!
DOES THAT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?
(groans)
NICE. EXCELLENT.
UNBELIEVABLE!
BEN KRONBERG--SO ROMANTIC.
THE BALLS TOOK HIM BACK,
BUT WEREN'T THEY SEEING SOMEBODY ELSE?
ACTUALLY, JOHN,
THE BIG BALLS HAVE BEEN BREAKING HEARTS ALL DAY.
AND IT LOOKS LIKE IN THE CASE
OF "INDIANA JONES" FAN ANDREW PAGANA,
(yells)
OOH. SWELL HAT.
IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S THE BIG BALLS.
WHOA!
ANIMAL LOVER JESSICA BERTONI'S HEART
WHOO! (screams)
YEAH, AND NOW IT'S UNDERWATER.
WELL, YOU DON'T COMPLETE ME.
OOH!
(screaming)
OH! BREAKING FACE IS HARD TO DO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
OOH!
IT JUST NEVER FEELS GOOD GETTING KICKED TO THE CURB.
HOW ABOUT KARLA GUY?
OH, NO!
SHE SEEMS A LITTLE NERVOUS.
(screaming) OH!
WELL, IT COULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO
(screams) OH!
OH, RIGHT. WELL, SHE'D BETTER GET GOING SOON.
OKAY!
I CAN'T DO THIS ONE.
(screams)
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, JOHN?
OH, MY GOODNESS!
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'S GOING.
SHE'S ALREADY BEEN DISQUALIFIED FOR SKIPPING THE FIRST OBSTACLE.
(screams)
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S JUST SEE HOW MANY OBSTACLES SHE CAN AVOID
ON THE QUALIFIER.
WHAT--NOW WHAT IS SHE DOING? SHE'S GOING INTO THE WATER?
KARLA SHOWING OFF HER NEWLY ACQUIRED TALENT
YEAH, I BELIEVE SHE LEARNED THAT FROM MY EX-WIFE.
SO KARLA GUY WILL NOT BE TAKING HOME THE 50 GRAND TODAY.
YEAH, BUT SOMEONE WILL.
JOHNNY.
ALL-STARS--GOD--WILL TAKE HOME OUR GRAND PRIZE.
UHH!
AAH!
♪♪
♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO A SPECIAL ALL-STAR EDITION OF "WIPEOUT."
OF THE 2 DOZEN FAVORITES WHO BEGAN THE DAY,
ONLY THE TOP 12 TIMES WILL MOVE ONTO THE NEXT ROUND.
OUR NEXT CONTESTANT READY AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE.
LOVE SHANE JOHNSON. SHE WAS KNOWN AS "THE SIREN," JOHN.
I WONDER WHY THEY CALL HER THE SIREN?
(loudly) WHOO!
(echoing)
(bird wings flapping)
IT'S BECAUSE OF THAT.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, JILL.
THE LAST TIME SIREN WAS ON THE SHOW,
QUIET NOW. HEADING OVER TO THE SPIKED FENDERS.
THERE SHE GOES.
WHOO! (groans)
OW!
WHOO!
(groans)
WAIT A MINUTE. WHERE IS SHE?
THERE SHE IS.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE
WHOO! WHOO!
OR HOW ABOUT SOME MUD WHERE HER MOUTH IS?
UP NEXT FOR THE SIREN IS THE SUCKER PUNCH WALL.
SHE SURVIVED THAT ONE, THOUGH.
OOH!
OOH, NOT THIS TIME.
WHOA!
THE SUCKER PUNCH AIMING RIGHT FOR SHANE'S HONKER.
(screams)
I GOT IT!
SHE'S SCREAMING AT THE BIG BALLS.
I DON'T THINK THEY LIKE THAT.
WHOO! OH!
NOPE, THEY DON'T LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING TO THINK
SHE'S GONNA SCREAM THE WHOLE TIME.
(screaming)
THIS GIRL IS REALLY COMMITTED.
OR MAYBE SHE SHOULD BE COMMITTED.
NEXT UP, JOHN, ARE THE TRAMPOLINE HURTLES.
OH, HO!
THE SIREN GETTING PUNISHED.
AAH!
(laughing)
ABSOLUTELY NOT AS MUCH AS JILL.
OH, HO HO!
(laughs)
THE SIREN OUT OF THE WATER
LET'S GO, SHANE.
(squeaking sounds)
SOUNDS "TRAP-EASY."
(screams)
AND YET, SHANE MADE IT LOOK TRAP-HARD.
WELL, BECAUSE SHE FELL,
(squeaking sounds)
(screams)
AND WITH THAT,
(screams)
(growling)
THERE'S AN ANIMAL IN ONE OF OUR MUD PITS.
WAIT--WAIT A SECOND. THAT'S NO ANIMAL.
IT'S... OH, IT'S KEITH BIONDI,
ALSO KNOWN AS "MUDDY BEARD."
REMEMBER HIM, JOHN?
SURE DO, AND I'D LIKE TO SAY IT'S COMFORTING TO KNOW
THAT SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HE'S WALKING UPRIGHT NOW.
HE'S LIKE A LIVE-ACTION VERSION
UHH!
OH. NEVER MIND.
BUT HEY,
AT LEAST HE GOT TO RINSE THE MUD OUT OF HIS BEARD.
(cougar growling)
WHOA, IS THERE ANOTHER ANIMAL ON THE COURSE?
WHOO!
(moans)
JILL SPOKE WITH HER EARLIER.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO SAY
OKAY, SINGLE GUYS OF AMERICA,
WATCH ME PROWL, WATCH ME GROWL,
AND WATCH ME WIN, BABY.
(cougar growls)
WOW, SHE IS WOMAN. HEAR HER ROAR.
(growls, laughs)
OOH. SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S COUGHING UP A FUR BALL.
(whispering) NOW WE SEE THE COUGAR
IN ITS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT.
(growls, laughs)
SHH.
DON'T MAKE ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS.
YOU'LL SCARE IT.
(grunts)
(grunts)
LOOK--VERY RARELY DOES ANYONE GET TO SEE THIS ANIMAL
IN ITS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT.
(groans)
(sighs)
(groans)
ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUMP BACK ON THE COURSE,
WHERE WE FIND COUGAR BAIT
28-YEAR-OLD BREAK-DANCER CHRIS KINYON.
MM-HMM!
WHOA!
YOU KNOW, JOHN, THE HARDEST PART
ABOUT BEING A PROFESSIONAL BREAK-DANCER--
CHRIS HAS THE DUBIOUS DISTINCTION
OF NOT MAKING IT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE...
BECAUSE HE WAS SHOWBOATING WITH HIS BREAK-DANCING MOVES.
(man in deep voice) YOU'RE A MORON.
YEAH, SEE, WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT B-BOYING, JOHN,
IS THAT IT'S MORE ABOUT FLAIR AND PANACHE.
WHOO! (groans)
OH, HO HO! WOW! THAT WAS OUTSTANDING!
UNBELIEVABLE.
BIG BALLS DO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.
WHOA!
SPEAKING OF DANCERS,
IS THAT BARYSHNIKOV AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE?
(bell dings)
POSITIVE.
JILL GOT HIS STORY.
OKAY, GUYS, I'M DOWN HERE WITH RADO PAGAC.
(as Arnold Schwarzenegger) GLAD TO BE BACK.
YOU GOT A SECOND CHANCE.
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA TRY TO TERMINATE EVERYTHING.
("The Terminator" Main Title playing)
(John H.) WELL, LET ME JUST SAY
I'M GLAD MY NAME IS JOHN HENSON
(John A.) RADO "THE TERMINATOR"
COMING UP ON OUR SPIKED FENDERS.
OOH, IT'S RADO THAT GETS TERMINATED.
BUT NOW IT'S TIME FOR "T-2"--
THAT'S "TRY 2" ON THE SPIKED FENDERS.
LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES.
OH!
WAIT A SECOND. WHERE DID HE GO, JOHN?
("The Terminator" Main Title playing)
SO I GUESS FOR NOW,
THE FENDERS SAY "HASTA LA VISTA" TO RADO.
JOHN, THEY'VE SAID GOOD-BYE TO A LOT OF PEOPLE TODAY.
AU REVOIR.
(screams)
WHOA!
OOH.
WHOA!
OOH, PEACE OUT.
WHOO-HOO!
(bleep)
STILL DOES.
AND HERE COMES FATHER OF THREE
ROBERT "PUTT EGG" DAVIS.
(groans)
MM!
AND LANDS HARD.
WILLIAM HILL IS BACK. YOU REMEMBER, JOHN.
WHOA!
HEY!
JILL FOUND OUT ABOUT SOME OF HIS OTHER INTERESTS EARLIER.
YOU KNOW KARATE.
BUT YOU'RE ALSO A BIG "STAR WARS" FAN, RIGHT?
YES, I AM A BIG "STAR WARS" FAN.
(as Yoda) YOUNG JEDI,
YOU MUST LEARN THE WAYS OF THE FORCE, HMM?
CHEWBACCA IS VERY GOOD.
(imitates Chewbacca's growl)
IT'S JUST LIKE CAPTAIN KIRK. WOW.
(normal voice) ALL RIGHT.
HERE COMES OUR JEDI HEADING TO THE TRAPEZE SWING SET.
JOHN, HE'S HESITATING. WHAT'S HE DOING?
HE'S CHANNELING THE TEACHINGS OF HIS MASTERS, JOHN--
(imitates Tarzan yell)
(bleep)
WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN ADD TARZAN
TO THAT LIST OF MASTERS.
(imitates Tarzan yell)
AND WITH A TIME OF 3 MINUTES, 53 SECONDS,
YEAH!
ALL RIGHT, WAY TO GO, WILLIAM.
HE WAS SAYING...
(imitating Yoda) DO NOT QUIT, YOUNG JEDI,
OR I WILL KICK YOUR BUTT.
(clearing throat) DORK.
JOINING HIM IN THE NEXT ROUND, WE HAVE "SUPER STU" YASUTAKE,
KEITH "MUDDY BEARD" BIONDI, ROBERT "PUTT EGG" DAVIS,
ARIEL "OUR KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO, SHANE "THE SIREN" JOHNSON,
RADO "THE TERMINATOR" PAGAC AND "WEIRDO" BEN KRONBERG.
ALL RIGHT, THERE'S YOUR LOOK AT THE LEADERBOARD,
BUT WE CLEAR THE SCORES AT THE END OF EACH ROUND,
YES.
WHEN WE COME BACK,
(screaming)
WITH THE HELP OF AN OLD NEMESIS
(groans)
♪♪
♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO A SPECIAL EDITION OF "WIPEOUT."
SOME OF OUR FAVORITE CONTESTANTS ARE BACK FOR ANOTHER SHOT
AT OUR NEW COURSE AND OUR CASH PRIZE, JOHNNY.
OH, THESE AREN'T JUST EVERYDAY CONTESTANTS, JOHN.
REMEMBER, THEY'RE "ALL-STARS." TELL THEM WHO'S STILL WITH US.
WE HAVE FAN-FAVORITE ARIEL "KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO,
"THE SPAZ" BRYAN SAYAS,
ALSO "THE TERMINATOR" RADO PAGAC,
"1-WORD MODEL" DANA JAMISON,
WILLIAM "THE JEDI" HILL, BREAK-DANCER CHRIS KINYON
AND, OF COURSE, "SUPER STU" YASUTAKE.
YOU HEARD THE MAN. THEY'RE ALL PRO, PEOPLE.
AND WE'RE ABOUT TO REACQUAINT THEM
WITH AN OLD FRIEND WHO'S HAD A BIT OF A MAKEOVER
HMM.
(groaning)
OH, YEAH. TELL THEM HOW IT WORKS, SISTER.
CONTESTANTS WILL STAND ON 10-FOOT-HIGH PEDESTALS
AS THE SWEEPER MOVES IN A CIRCULAR MOTION.
ON ONE SIDE, PULL THE MAGIC LEVER,
THE GYRO ARM AT THE END OF THE SWEEPER
WILL BEGIN TO ROTATE, AS WELL.
(smack)
AAH!
MM. BUT IT GETS HARDER.
THEY ARE ALSO GOING TO BE WEARING SACKS.
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN TEACH THESE ALL-STARS SOME NEW TRICKS.
(woman) IS THIS A JOKE?
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, JOHN.
OH.
THIS IS HARD!
I CAN'T GET IN MY THINGY.
CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A SECOND. IT'S SCARY.
NO, I GOT ENOUGH SCARY WITHOUT AGITATING IT.
THE SACKS ARE GONNA MAKE IT INTERESTING,
YOU MEAN GREAT WIPEOUTS.
OH, SUPER STU'S UP.
SUPER STU'S READY. I GUESS WE'RE ALL READY, THEN, RIGHT?
OH, OH, OH! I ALMOST TOOK A HEADER.
ALL RIGHT, THEY SEEM READY ENOUGH TO ME.
HOLD ON. HOLD ON. NOT QUITE READY YET.
WAIT, I GOT THESE TWO CAMERAS RIGHT HERE.
INDEED.
SUPER STU, YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION...
TO FULL-FIGURED MODELS EVERYWHERE.
HOW'S THAT? IT'S GOOD. WHAT'S UP, HUH? GOOD STUFF.
IT'S SO GOOD, I'M GONNA CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION
TO "CHUBBY FELLAS QUARTERLY."
WITH PLEASURE.
NOW THIS COULD TAKE A WHILE, JOHN.
THESE ARE SEASONED VETS, THE BEST OF THE BEST.
AAH!
I CAN'T JUMP! I CAN'T JUMP!
THAT KIND OF NEGATIVE ATTITUDE IS GONNA LEAD TO--
OH, HO! ANIMAL LOVER JESSICA BERTONI
DOESN'T EVEN MAKE IT PAST ONE ROTATION.
WHOO!
SHANE "THE SIREN" JOHNSON ANNOUNCING AN AIR RAID.
OH, HO HO!
ALL SUPER THINGS MUST COME TO AN END, MY FRIEND.
THESE SACKS MAKE IT HARD, JOHN.
YEAH, EVEN B-BOY CHRIS KINYON'S
MAD-CRAZY DANCE SKILLS ARE BEING STIFLED BY THE SACK.
THIS GYRO SWEEPER SURE ISN'T MESSING AROUND,
OH! OOH!
OH!
JOHN, I BLAME YOU FOR THAT ONE. YOU CONFUSED HER
WITH YOUR MULTISYLLABIC WORDS AND YOUR COMPLETE SENTENCES.
WHOO-HOO-HOO! WHOO!
OH!
I DON'T THINK OUR PRIMITIVE TECHNOLOGY
PUTT EGG TOOK A HIT THERE.
SCRAMBLING TO HOLD ON.
OH, HO HO!
AND SHANE "THE SIREN" JOHNSON IS MERCIFULLY SILENCED.
WE ARE DOWN TO EIGHT CONTESTANTS.
WE NEED ONLY TWO MORE TO FALL
BEFORE WE HAVE OUR FINAL SIX THAT MOVE ON.
UHH!
NICE! NICE EFFORT!
THEY'RE BOTH STRUGGLING TO HOLD ON,
BUT THE SWEEPER KEEPS MOVING.
TWO MORE, TWO MORE. COME ON, COME ON.
HEY, WEIRDO BEN GETS WHACKED,
ALONG WITH THE SPAZ AND KEITH.
WHOA, EVEN WILLIAM HILL, OUR JEDI, GETS KNOCKED DOWN.
WOW! WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU JUST WITNESSED THE AWESOME POWER
OF THE GYRO SWEEPER, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, CHRIS.
SUPER WEIRD BEN BOUNCES OFF THE PLATFORM
AND IS THE FIFTH PERSON TO FALL IN.
AND SINCE SPAZ HITS THE WATER JUST BEFORE KEITH,
(cartoon voice) BOO!
ARGH!
ALONG WITH JEDI WILLIAM HILL.
CHECK OUT WILLIAM'S MOVE.
OBI-WAN, EAT YOUR HEART OUT, HUH?
SO WE'VE ENTERED OUR $1,000 BONUS ROUND
UHH!
OH! MM-HMM.
SHE GETS A BIG SMACK
(kissing sounds)
SHE REALLY JUST CAN'T HELP HERSELF, JOHN.
SO WE HAVE THREE GUYS LEFT IN THE RUNNING
I'M NOT JUMPING! I'M NOT JUMPING!
COME ON BACK! COME ON!
LET'S GO, SONG-BOY.
PUTT EGG AND BREAK-DANCER CHRIS KINYON,
AND THEY ALL SEEM TO BE TAKING A BEATING
OH!
BUT IT'S THE TERMINATOR WHO GETS TERMINATED!
THE SWEEPER ARM
USES THE TERMINATOR AS SCRAP METAL.
(as Arnold Schwarzenegger) I KNOW NOW WHY YOU CRY.
FIRST TO YOU. FIRST TO YOU.
SO IT'S DOWN TO ROBERT "PUTT EGG" DAVIS
WHOO-HOO!
IT'S ALL YOU, DOG.
(groans)
AW! OH!
THE SWEEPER ARM DOES A LITTLE BREAKING OF ITS OWN.
YEAH, THE SWEEPER IS EXTRA BRUTAL
(groans)
OH!
WHOO!
HIGH-FIVE.
HE'LL BE MOVING ALONG WITH B-BOY CHRIS KINYON,
"THE TERMINATOR" RADO PAGAC,
ARIEL "USED TO NEVER BEEN KISSED BUT IS NOW A KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO,
WILLIAM "THE JEDI" HILL AND "MUDDY BEARD" KEITH BIONDI.
BUT BEFORE ANY OF THEM GET A SHOT AT THAT $50,000,
ONE MORE OBSTACLE STANDS IN THEIR WAY.
♪♪
♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON A SPECIAL ALL-STAR EDITION OF "WIPEOUT."
AREN'T YOU FROM, UH, CONNECTICUT?
YEAH, SOUTHERN CONNECTICUT, JOHN--
YOU KNOW, CATTLE COUNTRY.
WELL, PARDS, WE'VE CUT THE FIELD FROM 12 CONTESTANTS TO 6,
AND HERE THEY ARE.
"MUDDY BEARD" KEITH BIONDI, "THE TERMINATOR" RADO PAGAC,
BREAK-DANCER CHRIS KINYON, ARIEL "THE KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO,
ROBERT "PUTT EGG" DAVIS AND "THE JEDI" WILLIAM HILL.
NOW BY THE END OF THIS ROUND,
TWO OF THOSE CONTESTANTS WILL HAVE BOUGHT THE FARM,
THANKS TO THE BUCKIN' BULL.
AND HERE'S HOW IT WORKS--
(bull bellows)
AND SEE WHO CAN STAY ON THIS MECHANICAL BULL THE LONGEST.
HERE'S THE ROUGH-- IT'S 15 FEET IN THE AIR
HMM.
AND THE LONGER YOU RIDE IT, THE FASTER IT SPINS,
AND TO GET THEIR BLOOD BOILING,
WE HUNG RED CAPES, YOU KNOW,
(bull bellows)
BECAUSE IT'S HIS SECOND TIME ON NATIONAL TV,
(moos)
(deep voice) OH, LOOK AT MY BOY. HE'S ON THE TV.
MM.
THE FOUR ALL-STARS THAT STAY ON THE BULL THE LONGEST
WILL BE HEADED TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
(southern accent) THIS IS GONNA BE A BUCKIN' GOOD TIME.
LET'S GET RIGHT DOWN TO THE FIRST LITTLE DOGGY.
YEE-HAW! (laughs)
WELL, MORE OF A BIG, HAIRY, SHEEP-DOGGY.
(air horn blows)
THERE'S THE HORN,
AND OUR BULL'S A-BUCKIN', AND THE HAIR'S A-FLYIN'.
(normal voice) ROLLIN' OUT--
AH! YEAH.
LUCKILY, THE REST OF KEITH'S BODY
NOT EVEN 10 SECONDS IN,
AH! OH!
(moos)
MAMA DIDN'T LET HER BABY GROW UP TO BE NICE TO COWBOYS.
AND THOSE RED CURTAINS ARE JUST TORMENTING KEITH, JOHN,
TICKLING THE PEACH FUZZ ON HIS BALD SPOT,
CORSE HAIR HANGING FROM HIS NOSE.
OH, MUDDY BEARD GETS TRASHED,
OH, HO HO HO!
MUDDY BEARD RODE HARD, BUT WAS PUT UP WET.
NEXT UP TO RIDE THE BULL IS KISS-AHOLIC ARIEL TWETO.
SHE'S DOWN WITH JILL.
LAST TIME, YOU MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
OH, IT'S IN THE BAG, IN THE BAG.
ALL RIGHT, IN THE BAG,
JUST LIKE A BIG OLD BURGER AND FRIES.
OH, SORRY.
THAT SOUND MEANS IT'S BUCKIN' TIME.
YEAH! YEAH!
WAIT TILL THAT BULL GETS HOPPING, ARIEL.
YOU MIGHT BE KISSING YOUR WIPEOUT CHANCES GOOD-BYE.
OH!
GET OFF.
WELL, SHE CAN DEFINITELY KISS HER HAT GOOD-BYE.
WHOA!
NOW SHE'S KISSING THE BACK OF THE BULL'S HEAD HARD.
KISS-AHOLIC, MAYBE, BUT NOT A KISSING EXPERT.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHIP YOUR TEETH
(screams)
OH! AND THE FINAL KISS-OFF COMES AT THE 58 SECOND MARK.
WHAT A FALL.
ARIEL FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY
(bubbles popping)
INCIDENTALLY, HE ALSO DOESN'T HOLD DOORS OPEN
(screams)
UP NEXT IS BREAK-DANCER CHRIS KINYON.
(air horn blows)
WHOO-HOO-HOO! WHOO!
SO HE'LL NEED TO STAY ON THAT BULL FOR 58 SECONDS
WOW, THAT BULL'S SPINNING
LIKE IT'S DOING THE WINDMILL ON A PIECE OF CARDBOARD.
YEAH!
(groaning)
WHOO-HOO!
AND IN ABOUT 10 MORE SECONDS,
OH! OH! I SPOKE TOO SOON!
OH, HO HO!
AND ANOTHER TOUGH BREAK DANCE FOR CHRIS KINYON.
HE'S OFF AT 47 SECONDS.
WELL, THAT TIME'S GOOD ENOUGH TO BEAT KEITH BIONDI,
BUT BOTH HE AND CHRIS
NOW HAVE TO WAIT OUT THREE MORE CONTESTANTS.
HOWEVER, IT DOES MOVE ARIEL TWETO
AND LOOKING TO JOIN HER IS THIS MACHINE--
I MEAN, UH, MAN.
IT'S RADO PAGAC,
MM-HMM.
IT'LL START IN A SECOND, RADO. KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.
OKAY, GUYS, LET'S DO THIS. COME ON!
OR DON'T.
RADO... (laughs)
ALL RIGHT, THERE, BUDDY. YEE-HAW.
LOOK, HE'S TURNING AWAY.
(moos)
(air horn blows)
THAT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME HE'S TORN OFF HIS T-SHIRT
YEAH, COME ON, BABE.
WELL, TO CLINCH A SPOT IN THE ZONE,
HE'LL NEED TO BEAT 47 SECONDS.
ANYTHING LESS AND OUR TERMINATOR
I THINK HE CAN DO IT, JOHN.
HE IS ONE GRADE-A HUNK OF PRIME BEEF.
PARDON ME, MA'AM.
ALL RIGHT, JOHN, JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS,
AND RADO WILL ADVANCE TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
OH, HO! NO, HE DOESN'T!
HE MISSED IT BY 1 SECOND.
LOOKS LIKE IN THE BATTLE OF MACHINE VERSUS MACHINE,
THE MACHINE WON.
LOOKING AT THE LEADERBOARD,
CHRIS KINYON EARNS A SPOT IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
RADO AND KEITH BIONDI NOW BOTH ON THE BUBBLE,
AND NEXT UP-- JEDI WILLIAM HILL.
OAKY, WILLIAM, YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT THIS FAR LAST TIME.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO DIFFERENTLY
TO MAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE?
(as Yoda) IT IS DIFFICULT TO KNOW.
UNCERTAIN ABOUT THE FUTURE IT IS.
(coughing) DORK.
YEAH, I'D LIKE TO USE THE FORCE
TO MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T DO THAT AGAIN.
WELL, JOHN, IF OUR JEDI CAN STAY ON THE BULL
FOR MORE THAN 46 SECONDS,
YOU'RE GONNA GET ANOTHER DOSE OF YODA IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
I'M TORN.
OH, HO! LOOK AT THIS!
WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF HE FALLS OFF IN 11 SECONDS?
OH!
HE'S PUNCHED HIS TICKET INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
WHOA! YES, BABY!
50 G's IS SAILING AWAY!
I'LL BE BACK IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
YEP, RADO WILL BE THERE,
BUT STILL ON THE BUBBLE IS KEITH "MUDDY BEARD" BIONDI.
NOBODY PUTS BIONDI ON THE BUBBLE.
(cow moos)
IS OUR LAST CONTENDER, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE.
COME ON, BULL.
DO WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO, MAN.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
IS BEAT MUDDY BEARD'S TIME OF 40 SECONDS
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE ALL CLASS, HOSS.
PUTT EGG GETTING SPUN AROUND
WHOO!
HE'S 30 SECONDS IN.
YEAH. YEAH!
WHOO!
YEAH. YEAH!
(grunts)
OH!
WOW! PUTT EGG WITH A TIME OF 41 SECONDS!
(grunts)
BY 1 SINGLE SECOND.
SO HERE'S A LOOK AT YOUR FINAL FOUR ALL-STARS--
ARIEL "KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO, CHRIS "BREAK-DANCER" KINYON,
RADO "THE TERMINATOR" PAGAC
AND ROBERT "PUTT EGG" DAVIS.
AND WHEN WE COME BACK, OUR FOUR INTREPID SOULS
WILL TAKE ON THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
BUT FIRST, STAY TUNED DURING THE BREAK
FOR NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOOTAGE FROM TONIGHT'S EPISODE.
IT'S STAR-STUDDED.
(John A.) NOW HERE'S YOUR "WIPEOUT" MOMENT.
IT'S 1-WORD MODEL DANA JAMISON AT THE TRAPEZE SWING SET.
OH!
OH, SLAP!
(groaning)
EVEN NAOMI CAMPBELL WOULD BE PROUD OF.
♪♪
♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO OUR ALL-STAR EDITION OF "WIPEOUT,"
WHERE, JOHNNY, PERSONALLY,
TRUE THAT, BUT NOW IT'S BIG-TIME.
$50,000 ON THE LINE,
AND ONE MORE OBSTACLE MUST BE CONQUERED--
THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
WIPEOUT ZONE MADE UP OF SEVERAL STAGES,
AND IT WORKS LIKE THIS.
CONTESTANTS ROCKET INTO THE ZONE USING OUR CATAPULT.
THEN IT'S A SHORT SWIM OVER TO THE GEARS OF DOOM--
THREE SPINNING GEARS
CONTESTANTS MUST NAVIGATE THEIR WAY ACROSS.
IF NOT TIMED PERFECTLY,
THEY SEND YOU STRAIGHT BACK IN TO THE ICE-COLD WATER BELOW.
THEN IT'S ON TO THE SCARY-GO-ROUND.
THE OBJECT HERE--JUMP ONTO THE ROTATING SPINNING PLATFORM.
THEN MAKE YOUR WAY TO ONE OF THOSE TWO STAIRWAYS
WITHOUT GETTING CLOBBERED BY THE SPINNING ARM.
ONCE ON TOP, THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT PAST
THESE TWO WRECKING BALLS TO THE FINISH PLATFORM,
WHERE THEY'LL FACE DOWN THE GAUNTLET.
THE GAUNTLET IS COMPRISED OF THE PISTON PUNCH,
THEN THE BUMPER TURNTABLES
AND FINALLY, YOU HAVE TO CROSS THE TREACHEROUS DROP BRIDGE
TO THE FINISH PLATFORM.
FOUR ALL-STARS REMAIN,
AND THE FASTEST TIME WILL POCKET THE 50 GRAND.
OUR FIRST ALL-STAR OF THE NIGHT IS BREAK-DANCER CHRIS KINYON.
LET'S REVIEW HOW HE GOT TO THE ZONE.
CHRIS USED SOME OF HIS BEST MOVES ON THE QUALIFIER.
HE DANCED HIS WAY THROUGH THE SWEEPER,
WHOO-HOO!
THUS GRANTING HIM
WHOO!
ALL RIGHT, TIME FOR THE BIG SHOW.
A SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY FRIENDS, BAY AREA B-BOYS, EVERYTHING.
CHRIS KINYON GIVING A SHOUT-OUT
(beeping)
(screams)
WHOA, HO HO!
AND HE GIVES A SHOUT-OUT
AS HE IS LAUNCHED INTO THE ZONE.
LOOK AT THAT REPLAY.
ROCKETED 30 FEET INTO THE AIR,
AND IMMEDIATELY ON TO THE GEARS OF DOOM.
IT'S SO DIFFICULT, IF A CONTESTANT WIPES OUT HERE,
THEY HAVE THE OPTION OF TRYING AGAIN
OR THEY CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT OBSTACLE
AND JUST TAKE A TIME PENALTY.
WHOO!
WHOA! BACK ONTO THE FIRST. HERE HE IS IN THE WATER.
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT REPLAY, JOHN.
AN ILL-TIMED ATTEMPT BY CHRIS OUR BREAK-DANCER.
COME ON.
HE'S GOING FOR HIS SECOND ATTEMPT,
GETTING READY TO BUST A MOVE.
OOH!
BUST A JAW!
(groans)
I THINK IT'S CALLED A "HEADLESS HORSEMAN."
THAT WAS A WICKED HARD SHOT, JOHN.
HE'S GONNA MOVE ON AND TAKE THAT TIME PENALTY,
BUT YOU KNOW,
I THINK THE WIPEOUT WAS PENALTY ENOUGH.
OVER TO THE NEXT OBSTACLE-- THE SCARY-GO-ROUND.
(grunts)
AND THIS BREAK-DANCER KNOWS HIS TIMING.
HE FIGURES IT OUT ON THE FIRST TRY.
HE IS ONTO THE PLATFORM.
ALL RIGHT, CHRIS MAKING A GO FOR IT.
(grunts)
YEAH! WHOO!
HE NOW FACES DOWN THE GAUNTLET.
AAH!
CHRIS KINYON GETTING PUMPED UP THERE, JOHN.
OOH, AND THE PISTONS FIRE BACK.
LOOK AT YOUR REPLAY HERE.
(slow motion) OH, MAN.
(John H.) HE'S OVER TO THE PISTON PUNCH AGAIN
FOR THE SECOND TIME,
(John A.) MM. YEAH.
NOW FACING THE FINAL STAGE OF THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
OH, HO!
THE BRIDGE CAN FALL OUT FROM UNDER YOU
OH!
OW! OH!
CAN'T HOLD ON, DROPPING INTO THE WATER BELOW.
CHRIS KINYON SHOWING US ANOTHER MOVE--
"THE DROP AND FLOP."
I GUESS YOU CAN ADD THAT TO HIS GROWING REPERTOIRE
HERE IN THE ZONE.
AND HE'LL TRY THE TRIO OF THE GAUNTLET OBSTACLES
FOR A THIRD TIME.
ONTO THE BUMPER TURNTABLE...
AND QUICKLY BACK FOR A REMATCH WITH THE DROP BRIDGE.
HOLLA!
CHRIS LETTING OUT ANOTHER BATTLE CRY
TRYING TO PUMP HIMSELF UP
THE WAY HE USED TO PUMP UP HIS SNEAKERS.
KINYON SLOWLY MAKING HIS WAY TO THE TOP.
OH, MY GOD.
(John A.) AND HE IS HOME, SETTING THE TIME TO BEAT...
8 MINUTES AND 2 SECONDS.
BUT WILL THAT TIME STAND UP
I CHALLENGE YOU TO THAT GOOD SCORE RIGHT THERE.
THE FIRST ONE COMING FROM THIS MAN
(John H.) NOW THIS IS PUTT EGG'S
ALL RIGHT.
AND HE IS HOPING TO LEAVE WITH THE 50 GRAND THIS TIME.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HOW HE GOT HERE.
ROBERT "PUTT EGG" DAVIS TOOK THE QUALIFIER OVER EASY,
WHOO-HOO!
BUT STILL TOOK HOME THE $1,000 BONUS...
AND HE MANAGED TO BEAT THE BULL WITH A SECOND TO SPARE
TO SECURE THE FOURTH AND FINAL SPOT IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
WILL FATHER OF THREE ROBERT "PUTT EGG" DAVIS
BE SINGING A REDEMPTION SONG TONIGHT,
OR WILL HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF?
(buzzer)
(yelling)
OH!
GOOD NIGHT!
JUST SLAMMED INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE WATER, JOHN.
OH, YEAH. HE NEARLY SHATTERED HIS SHELL THERE, JOHNNY.
HE IS UP NONETHELESS
AND MOVING CAUTIOUSLY FORWARD,
PERHAPS STILL TRYING TO SHAKE OFF THAT INITIAL HIT,
BUT NOW CHARGING, HOLDING ON TO THAT SECOND GEAR.
THE THIRD--OH!
OH!
(slow motion) AAH!
PUTT EGG GETTING POACHED IN THE ZONE.
TAKING HIS SECOND STAB AT THE GEARS OF DOOM NOW.
(sighs)
I THINK MAYBE HE'S JUST TRYING TO CATCH HIS BREATH HERE.
ALL RIGHT, MAKING A RUN FOR IT.
OOH!
AND AFTER THAT,
HE WILL MOVE ON AND TAKE THE TIME PENALTY.
NOW FACING DOWN THE SCARY-GO-ROUND,
APPROACHING THE 5-MINUTE MARK.
CHRIS KINYON, A MOST INTERESTED SPECTATOR.
NOW REMEMBER, THERE ARE ONLY TWO POINTS OF ENTRY
TO GET TO THE TOP OF THE PLATFORM,
MAKING TIMING EVEN MORE CRITICAL ON THIS OBSTACLE.
OOH.
AND HE IS INTO THE WATER.
I GOT ONE WORD FOR YOU, JOHNNY--
TIM-BER!
YEAH. TAKING A CUE FROM HUMPTY DUMPTY HERE.
HIS RUN IS FALLING APART, AND QUITE FRANKLY, JOHN,
I DON'T KNOW WHO CAN PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
WELL, HE'S MADE IT BACK ONTO THE PLATFORM,
BUT THE CLOCK IS WINDING DOWN NOW--
JUST OVER 10 SECONDS LEFT.
I THINK HE'S PLAYING FOR PRIDE AT THIS POINT, JOHN.
TRYING TO AT LEAST GET PAST THE SCARY-GO-ROUND.
OH!
SHELLED ONE LAST TIME.
THE WRECKING BALLS STOP HIM THIS TIME.
(air horn blows)
AND THERE IT IS.
A NOBLE EFFORT INDEED,
BUT PUTT EGG HAS BEEN COOKED.
BUT COMING UP, RADO "THE TERMINATOR" PAGAC
AND KISS-AHOLIC ARIEL TWETO WILL TAKE ON THE ZONE.
♪♪
♪♪
WELCOME BACK.
WE ARE IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
JOHN, THAT MEANS WE HAVE TWO DOWN AND TWO TO GO.
THE CURRENT LEADER IS BREAK-DANCER CHRIS KINYON.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO TO THE LEADERBOARD,
WHERE WE SEE WE HAVE ARIEL "KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO.
BUT FIRST, WE'LL SEE THIS MAN, RADO "THE TERMINATOR" PAGAC.
CHECK OUT HIS RISE TO THE ZONE.
RADO "THE TERMINATOR" PAGAC ELIMINATED THE COMPETITION
(bell dings)
HE FELT THE RED HEAT FROM THE SWEEPER,
AND AFTER SHEDDING A FEW UNNECESSARY TRAPPINGS,
HE TETHERED THE BUCKING BULL
WOW! YES, BABY!
TIME TO BEAT--8:02, SET BY CHRIS KINYON,
BUT REMEMBER, JOHN, THE FUTURE'S NOT SET.
THERE IS NO FATE BUT WHAT WE MAKE,
(buzzer)
OH, HO HO!
THE CATAPULT STRAINING TO LAUNCH
OUR MASSIVE TERMINATOR INTO THE ICY WATER.
YEAH, WATCH AGAIN.
GOOD HANG TIME AND A NEAR-PERFECT ENTRY
INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
HE IS ALREADY ON TO THE GEARS OF DOOM.
30 SECONDS HAVE TICKED OFF THE CLOCK,
(grunting)
YEAH, ONTO THE SECOND GEAR ALREADY.
THIS MAN IS MOVING VERY QUICKLY.
(grunting)
WELL, JOHN, THIS GUY IS A MACHINE.
HE SURE IS,
AND HE'S MADE IT TO THE SCARY-GO-ROUND
WITH THE FASTEST TIME SO FAR TODAY.
AH, AND THERE'S A SETBACK.
HE GOES STRAIGHT INTO THE OBSTACLE
YEAH, TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THE REPLAY.
AS I SAID EARLIER, THERE ARE ONLY TWO STAIRWAYS
UP TO THE CENTER OF THE PLATFORM.
IF THAT WEREN'T THE CASE TONIGHT,
(breathing heavily)
NOW HE'S TAKING HIS TIME SCANNING THE OBSTACLE,
TRYING TO MEASURE HIS NEXT ATTEMPT.
(groans)
AAH!
YEAH, FOR SOME REASON, HE JUMPED
AAH!
MAYBE HIS SOFTWARE NEEDS UPDATING.
EITHER WAY,
HE'S GONNA HAVE TO TRY THE SCARY-GO-ROUND
(exhales deeply)
RADO STARTED OUT VERY STRONG,
BUT NOW ONLY HAS 3 MINUTES
TO COMPLETE THE REST OF THE COURSE.
HE IS UP, AND HE HAS MADE IT THIS TIME.
HE IS ONTO THE TOP OF THE SCARY-GO-ROUND
AND NOW INCHING HIS WAY OUT TO THE END.
GOT TO PICK THE RIGHT MOMENT TO JUMP. WILL HE DO IT?
CAN HE CONQUER THIS OBSTACLE
AAH!
NO!
FAILS TO TO IT,
AND IT IS GETTING TO BE JUDGMENT TIME.
YEAH, HE'S REALLY GOT TO MOVE FASTER, JOHN.
HE NEEDS TO TAP INTO ALL HIS TERMINATOR SKILLS
(breathing heavily)
HE'S MAKING ANOTHER MOVE,
AND THIS TIME, HE FINDS THE ENTRANCE.
AND HE IS UP ON THE OBSTACLE, AND HE'S AT THE TOP.
30 SECONDS LEFT ON THE CLOCK.
(John H.) AND HE MAKES THE JUMP.
ON TO THE GAUNTLET NOW.
CHRIS KINYON WATCHING NERVOUSLY FROM THE SIDELINES.
(John A.) 18 SECONDS LEFT.
NOW YOU JUST GOT TO CUT LOOSE AND GO FOR IT
IF YOU WANT TO TAKE HOME THAT 50 GRAND, RADO.
ONTO THE PISTON PUNCH, BUT LOOKING NERVOUS.
STEPPING TENTATIVELY.
OH, HO!
THE CLOCK WILL RUN OUT.
(air horn blows)
CHRIS KINYON'S TIME OF 8:02 STILL STANDS,
AND IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO THIS--
OUR FINAL CONTESTANT ARIEL TWETO.
SHE MADE IT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE LAST TIME,
BUT DIDN'T GO HOME A WINNER.
WHOO!
ARIEL "USED TO NEVER BEEN KISSED BUT IS NOW A KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO
GOT REACQUAINTED WITH HER OLD FRIEND THE QUALIFIER.
SHE ALSO USED HER FAMOUS "SEAL HOP" TECHNIQUE
ON THE SWEEPER
AND RODE HER WAY INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
ON THE BUCKING BULL.
AAH!
ARIEL "KISS-AHOLIC" TWETO
READY TO TAKE HER BEST WIPEOUT ZONE SHOT.
AND SHE EVEN MANAGES TO LOOK ADORABLE
IN THE FACE OF DANGER, JOHN.
CHRIS KINYON WAITING FOR THE FINAL VERDICT,
(buzzer)
OH, MY GOD!
WHOA, HO HO!
AND THERE'S THE LAUNCH,
AND SHE WILL FLY FAR INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
WITH A PICTURE-PERFECT ENTRY, JOHN.
GREAT HEIGHT, GREAT DISTANCE, GREAT ENTRY,
AND LEAPED WITH LEGS CROSSED-- A PERFECT LADY.
NOW MAKING HER WAY UP TO THE GEARS OF DOOM.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ARIEL TWETO'S SECOND TIME HERE IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
OH!
MM!
AND SHE IMMEDIATELY DECIDES TO TAKE THE TIME PENALTY.
PERHAPS A WISE STRATEGY.
SHE DIDN'T LOOK LIKE SHE HAD THINGS DIALED IN HERE
ON THE GEARS OF DOOM.
OW!
WHOO!
YEAH, SHE TOTALLY IS.
INDEED, ARIEL--A TOUGH AND FIERCE COMPETITOR.
LET'S SEE HOW SHE HOLDS UP AT THE SCARY-GO-ROUND.
YES!
(screams)
(both) OH!
A HARD HIT TO THE MIDSECTION.
EVEN CHRIS AND JILL KNOCKED BACK A BIT BY THAT.
YEAH, THE SCARY-GO-ROUND
GIVING ARIEL THE KISS-OFF BIG-TIME.
BUT SHE WILL TRY IT AGAIN.
OH, NO, NO!
THIS YOUNG LADY-- SHE HAS THE PERSEVERANCE
TO TACKLE ANY OBSTACLE.
MAKING IT THE TOP OF THE SCARY-GO-ROUND NOW.
ONE JUMP AWAY FROM COMPLETING THE OBSTACLE.
THERE YOU GO!
AND NOW SHE FACES THE GAUNTLET.
DEFINITELY ENOUGH TIME ON THE CLOCK TO PULL THIS OFF.
YEAH, AND THESE ARE CLEARLY ANXIOUS MOMENTS
FOR CHRIS KINYON.
(screams)
OH! KISSED BY A PISTON, JOHN!
(smack)
WOW, JOHNNY, IT SENDS HER SWIMMING.
NOW LESS THAN 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK.
SHE CAN DO IT, BUT SHE'S GOT TO BE PERFECT,
OH! OKAY.
OH. OOH!
THE END IS IN SIGHT NOW.
20 SECONDS LEFT, AND SHE IS ONTO THE DROP BRIDGE.
SHE'S GOT TO MOVE FASTER IF SHE WANTS THE $50,000 PRIZE.
JUST A FEW FEET FROM VICTORY.
OH! AND IT DROPS, BUT SHE MANAGES TO HOLD ON.
7 SECONDS LEFT. CAN SHE MAKE IT?
SHE MAKES THE JUMP, AND SHE HAS TO PULL HERSELF UP!
COME ON, LEG! GET UP.
SO CLOSE.
A STRIDE AWAY FROM GLORY.
YOU WON $50,000! YOU WON "WIPEOUT."
WHOO!
ARIEL NOT TAKING HOME THE PRIZE.
YOUR ALL-STAR CHAMPION FOR THE NIGHT--CHRIS KINYON.
HE WAS THE ONE WITH THE RIGHT MOVES.
THAT'S GONNA DO IT FOR US, BUT BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK
FOR A BUNCH OF NEW CONTESTANTS, A WHOLE LOT OF NEW OBSTACLES
AND, OF COURSE, A BUNCH OF NEW WIPEOUTS.
UNTIL THEN, AMERICA, I'M JOHN ANDERSON.
AND FOR OUR COLLEAGUE JILL WAGER, I'M JOHN HENSON,
SAYING GOOD NIGHT AND BIG BALLS.
WHOA!
♪♪
(screams)
(grunting)
AAH!
(grunting)
YEAH!
WHOO! WHOO!
WHOO! (screams)
(grunts)
AAH! (grunts)