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Congratulations, Lucas! You are today's hand washing winner!
Hand washing?
That's right! You neglected to wash your hands, making you today's big winner.
How does it feel, Lucas?
Any abdominal cramping? Fever?
Uh...
Well, maybe not yet, but today is your lucky day.
As you may have heard, the grand prize for enjoying this simple task of hand washing
is a possibility of exposure to salmonella, e coli, and a hospital stay.
(collective oooh)
we've also tossed in a bottomless supply of toilet paper for the next week
and trust me, you will need it.
As you evacuate your bowels with sporadic bouts of diarrhea.
I have no idea... ohh...
Not so fast, Lucas! Don't forget your prescription!
Ha ha ha! Remember to wash your hands this time!
And use soap, too!