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>> Narrator: WHAT'S GOT JOE
DRAGGING BEHIND?
>> ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> Narrator: WHAT DID SAL DO TO
DESERVE THIS?
>> YOU SON OF A ***.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Narrator: AND WILL TONIGHT'S
BIG LOSER SURVIVE THIS?
>> NO!
>> AAH!
OH, MY...
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> PREPARE FOR SOMETHING
AMAZING.
[ HORN HONKS ]
>> HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I WANT MY MOMMY!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!
LARRY!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> HOP TO IT, FELLAS.
WE'RE AT THE BORGATA, WORKING AS
BELLHOPS.
>> WE'LL HAVE TO BRING GUESTS TO
THE ROOMS AND GET THEM SETTLED
IN, ALL WHILE DOING AND SAYING
WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
>> WHEN WE'RE FINISHED, WE'RE
GONNA HAVE TO TRY AND GET A TIP.
>> IF YOU CAN'T GET A TIP, YOU
LOSE.
>> WARM UP, BOYS.
[ ALL GROANING ]
>> HERE HE COMES.
>> SO, COME ON IN.
SO, THIS IS THE SUITE.
YOU GOT YOUR COUCHES OVER HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> THE TV CHANNELS WITH
EVERYTHING THERE.
>> "ARE YOU MAKING LOVE THIS
EVENING?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> DO YOU PLAN ON MAKING LOVE
THIS EVENING OR...
[ LAUGHTER ]
DEFINITELY. OKAY, SO...
>> "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CARPET
MATCHES THE DRAPES."
>> AND AS YOU CAN TELL, THE
CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE POINTED AT HER.
>> WELL, NOBODY TOLD YOU TO
POINT AT HER.
>> NOBODY SAID THAT!
>> YEAH, SO, AND...
>> "HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE TO
DO."
>> HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE DO AT
THIS PLACE IS...
>> JUST MOON OUT THE WINDOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> DROP YOUR PANTS.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> NOBODY SEES THAT.
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> RIGHT?
>> YEAH.
>> "I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING
BIG HERE."
>> I'M DEALING WITH A PROBLEM
HERE.
>> JUST ITCH YOUR BUTT, BUDDY.
>> DRAG YOUR *** AROUND THE
FLOOR LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OHH.
UH. [ LAUGHS ]
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALMOST GOT IT.
>> THIS IS -- "I'VE --
I'VE ALMOST GOT IT."
>> ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> KEEP GOING, BUDDY.
KEEP GOING AROUND THE ROOM.
>> IT'S DEFINITELY NOT BEDBUGS.
I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS TOP NOTCH.
>> YEAH.
>> SO...
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> CAN I HAVE A TIP?
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH.
>> NO TIP!
HE DIDN'T GET A TIP.
>> I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
>> WOW! FAIL!
[ BUZZER ]
>> Q, AS SOON AS YOU WALK IN,
ANNOUNCE TO THEM, "WELCOME TO
YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE."
THEY GOT THE MORTUARY SUITES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL RESTING
PLACE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> FOR NO REASON, FLUSH THE
TOILET AND COME RIGHT BACK OUT.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
>> AND WALK RIGHT BACK OUT TO
THE LIVING ROOM.
>> PASS THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> "THE ROOM IS TOTALLY
SOUNDPROOF."
>> THE ROOM IS TOTALLY
SOUNDPROOF.
>> "SO YOU CAN SCREAM."
>> SO YOU COULD -- YOU COULD
SCREAM.
>> DEMONSTRATE IT, Q.
>> NOT ME! HELP!
SEND HELP!
HELP! HELP!
HELP IS NEVER GONNA COME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTONS,
STARE AT THEM, AND SAY, "WE
GONNA DO THIS OR..."
>> OHO! OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
WELL...
SO, WE -- ARE WE --
WE GONNA DO THIS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> "ENJOY THE BORGATA."
>> I GUESS I'M DONE HERE.
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
[ CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH!
>> OH!
>> "LOVE YOU."
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
[ DING! ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LOOK AT THIS LITTLE COUPLE
OUT FOR A NICE NIGHT.
>> OH.
>> ALL RIGHT. THERE WE GO.
COME ON IN.
>> LOVE IN THE AIR, AND THEN
THERE'S MURRAY.
>> THE BELLHOP IS LOCATED AT
EXTENSION 76, SO PLEASE HELP
YOURSELF.
>> MURR, UNPACK THEIR BAGS FOR
THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU'VE GOT A PLETHORA OF
OPTIONS HERE TO UNPACK.
>> KEEP ANNOUNCING WHAT YOU'RE
PULLING OUT OF THE BAG AS YOU
PULL IT OUT.
>> SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TOUCHING.
>> YEAH.
>> DRESS SOCKS.
LET'S PUT THE SHOES IN THERE --
THE BRA.
>> THE BRA! THE BRA!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THE ***.
FEMININE PRODUCTS. SPANX.
>> HE'S TOUCHING HER
UNMENTIONABLES.
>> UNMENTIONABLES.
>> GROSS.
>> THERE'S THE -- THE TEDDY AND
THE LINGERIE.
>> OHH!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> OH...
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> ...MY GOD.
>> ONE OF THE LIGHT BULBS ABOVE
THE BED IS OUT.
YOU WANT TO ADJUST THAT?
>> THE LIGHT BULB IS...
>> YEAH, JUST STEP ON THE BED,
RIGHT ON -- WITH THE PILLOWS,
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS ONE'S...
THESE ARE FINE.
>> "YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MAGIC
HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM."
>> UH, A LOT OF -- A LOT OF
MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM,
SO...
WE KEEP A LOT OF THE MAGICIAN
ACTS IN THIS ROOM.
>> "AND THEY GET HOOKERS."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO, ABRACADABRA, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Both: OHH!
>> APPRECIATE IT. THANK YOU.
HAVE A GREAT DAY, FOLKS.
[ DING! ]
>> OH, LOOK AT THIS HAPPY
COUPLE.
>> AH, HERE WE GO.
>> JUST OUT TO ENJOY A LITTLE
VACATION TIME TOGETHER.
>> MAYBE IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON.
WHO KNOWS?
>> YOU DON'T KNOW.
>> THERE'S A MINI-BAR.
AND HERE YOU HAVE THE MASTER
BATH.
>> SAL, JUST KEEP BRINGING EXTRA
TOWELS.
>> LET ME GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF
EXTRA TOWELS.
THAT'S THE -- THE NEW HOTEL,
WITH THE -- THE CIRCLE ON TOP.
>> "THEY HAVE GREAT *** OVER
THERE."
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
THEY HAVE SOME CRAZY ***
OPTIONS OVER THERE IF YOU -- IF
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> JUST KEEP BRINGING TOWELS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ONE LAST THING -- GO IN THE
BATHROOM AND TAKE A SHOWER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> AND THEN JUST GIVE ME ONE
SPLIT SECOND HERE, GUYS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF, WALK
OUT, GRAB A TOWEL, AND THEN WALK
BACK IN.
>> YES, YES, YES, YES!
>> JUST ONE SEC.
I JUST WANT TO GRAB ONE QUICK
TOWEL REAL QUICK.
>> NO, NO. I'M JUST FRESHENING.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> SHE FELL DOWN LAUGHING!
>> AND SHE'S OUT!
>> AND SHE'S ON THE FLOOR,
LAUGHING.
>> IT'S A SELL.
>> IT'S JUST A QUICK REFRESH.
I'VE BEEN DOING A DOUBLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> GET OUT THERE AND ASK FOR A
TIP.
>> WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?
>> JUST -- I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN
ALL DAY.
>> YEAH.
>> QUICK WASH-UP.
>> OH, OKAY.
>> YEAH.
SO, DO YOU -- THAT'S A TIP,
THEN?
>> YEAH.
>> OH, EXCELLENT. THANK YOU.
>> All: AH!
>> A COUPLE BUCKS GOES A LONG
WAY WITH ME.
I APPRECIATE IT.
[ DING! ]
>> Narrator: JOE GOT
SHORTCHANGED, SO HE'S FIRST UP
ON THE LOSER BOARD.
>> HOT DOG!
>> TODAY, WE'RE ON THE STREETS
OF NEW YORK CITY, MANNING THIS
HOT-DOG CART.
>> BUT, AS WE SERVE UP FRANKS TO
THE PUBLIC, THE OTHER GUYS WILL
BE TELLING US WHAT TO SAY AND
DO.
>> IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
THEN YOU WILL BE BOILED,
SLATHERED IN RELISH, AND SERVED
UP ON A BUN.
SAL LOOKS PERFECTLY AT HOME
SELLING HOT DOGS IN THE PARK.
>> RIGHT NOW -- HE LOOKS SO
NATURAL RIGHT NOW.
>> SAL, SEE THE GUY DRINKING
FROM THE WATER FOUNTAIN?
>> OH, YEAH.
>> GO GRAB HIS *** WITH THE
TONGS.
>> OH, COME ON.
>> GO GRAB HIS *** WITH THE
TONGS.
HURRY.
>> OH, MY GOD!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M SQUEEZING BUNS ALL DAY.
I CAN'T RESIST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?
>> [ German accent ] I'LL TAKE A
SPRITE.
>> YOU'LL TAKE A SPRITE?
>> YEAH, SPRITE, PLEASE.
>> WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> I'M FROM GERMANY.
>> OH, GERMANY, ALL RIGHT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> "BOY, SPEAKING OF GERMANY..."
>> YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF
GERMANY...
>> "...I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY
THAT I'M RELATED TO HITLER."
>> THERE IT IS --
THE HITLER JOKE --
THE HITLER JOKE.
>> AH. I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY --
TODAY THAT I AM, UH, RELATED TO
THE FUEHRER THERE, THE...
HITLER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT?
>> YOU KNOW, HITLER.
HAVE A GREAT DAY, HON.
>> THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS
WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST
LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UH.
>> THROW THAT HOT DOG RIGHT INTO
THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS
WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST
LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU SON OF A ***.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YES.
YES.
>> NICE.
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]
[ DING! ]
>> WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG?
YOU WANT A HOT DOG?
>> I GET THE "HOT."
WHY ARE THEY CALLED "DOGS"?
>> WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG?
YOU WA A HOT DOG?
>> WHY ISN'T IT CALLED A HOT
PIG?
>> RIGHT.
>> IT'S PIGS IN A BLANKET.
IT'S PORK.
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU HAVE GOOGLE. ASK HIM.
>> ASK HIM?
>> GOOGLE IS A MALE?
>> WELL, IT KNOWS EVERYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT DO YOU WANT -- TWO HOT
DOGS?
>> YEAH.
>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BUD?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
>> MIKE.
>> MIKE.
>> YEAH.
>> WE PUT A MARKER IN BETWEEN
THE BOXES THERE.
LABEL THE BUN SO WE KNOW IT'S
MIKE'S.
>> OHH.
>> YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S PERMANENT INK.
>> YELL, "MIKE!"
>> JUST LIKE YOU'RE AT A COFFEE
SHOP.
>> MIKE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, YOU'RE MIKE?
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT'S GOING ON, CHAMP?
>> TWO WITH KETCHUP AND MUSTARD.
>> DUDE, THIS GUY'S UNDERCOVER.
>> YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY AN
UNDERCOVER COP.
>> I THINK SO.
>> HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU IF HE'S
A COP.
>> HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU.
YEAH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
>> YEAH, IT'S THE LAW.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO -- YOU
GOT TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE A COP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> "SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A COP
WOULD SAY."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SAYING, "I'M AUSTRALIAN.
I CAN'T BE A COP," SOUNDS
EXACTLY LIKE WHAT A COP WOULD
SAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> VERY CAUTIOUSLY TRY TO SELL
HIM DRUGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HOW MANY GRAMS OF MUSTARD DO
YOU WANT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
COLOMBIAN?
HERE YOU GO.
YOU'VE TAKEN THE SPECIAL HOT
DOG, THE COLOMBIAN STUFF?
>> "OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE UNDER
ARREST."
>> YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, PAL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELCOME TO AMERICA, SCUMBAG.
[ DING! ]
>> $1 HOT DOGS, $1 HOT DOGS.
>> [ WHISTLING ]
>> HOW HAS HE NOT INSTAGRAMMED
THE PHOTO OF HIMSELF IN A
HOT-DOG COSTUME YET?
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH -- WITH
THIS GUY WITHOUT, LIKE, HIM JUST
TAKING A STUPID PHOTO OF HIM IN
A STUPID POSE.
>> PULL HIM UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
>> YEAH, LET'S PULL UP SOME
SOCIAL MEDIA.
>> MURR, YOU CAN ONLY TALK IN
YOUR TWEETS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> COME ON, MAN.
[ BEEPS ]
>> "I JUICED THE [BLEEP] OUT OF
FRUITS AND VEGETABLES TONIGHT
WITH MY BRAND NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT'S WHAT HE WROTE?!
>> THAT'S HIS TWEET.
>> LET ME TELL YOU, MAN -- I
JUICED THE [BLEEP] OUT OF FRUITS
AND VEGGIES LAST NIGHT WITH MY
BRAND-NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS, RIGHT?
>> "QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU."
>> QUICK QUESTION.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> GO AHEAD.
>> HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU BROKE
YOUR FINGER?
>> #IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> #IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
>> THANK YOU.
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING --
WHY AM I DOING HASHTAGS IN
PUBLIC, RIGHT?
THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.
YOU [BLEEP]
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, HI, BUDDY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY.
WHAT IS THIS FOR?
"A PRETZEL, PLEASE"?
THAT'S THE CUTEST KID.
>> "HE'S A SEXY LITTLE FELLA."
>> OHH.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> HE'S SUCH A CUTE KID.
OHH, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> YES, YES, YES.
>> OH, MY GOD. GUYS, NO.
>> DO IT.
>> YOU WANTED ONE SALTED
PRETZEL?
YOU -- YOU'RE A SEXY LITTLE
FELLA, HUH?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE SAID, "THANK YOU A LOT,
SIR."
>> OKAY. ENJOY IT.
>> TAKE THE KID'S HAT AND JUST
THROW IT.
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO WAY.
MAN, OH, MAN.
[ BUZZER ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ♪ DA-TONG, TA-TONG,
TONG, TONG ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HELLO.
>> HEY, MY MAN.
>> CAN I GET A BOTTLE OF WATER?
>> BOTTLE OF WATER? YEP.
>> THIS GUY'S YOUR MILLIONTH
CUSTOMER?
HE IS!
>> YOU'RE MY MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
>> AM I REALLY?
>> YES.
>> JOE, GRAB THE CONFETTI THAT
WE HID IN THE TOP RIGHT OF THE
CART...
>> SO...
>> ...AND SLING IT AT THIS MAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> BOTTLE OF WATER.
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THANK YOU.
>> THAT GUY SPIT OUT CONFETTI.
>> THANK YOU, SIR.
>> CONGRATULATIONS.
CONFETTI.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
WHAT'S UP, BUD?
WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
>> "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG
IN A BLANKET?"
>> YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU KNOW
WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET?
>> "MY WIFE ON A COLD DAY."
>> OH, WOW!
CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.
I CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES.
SHE WATCHES THE SHOW, SO...
>> HE'S MARRIED NOW.
>> SO I'D RATHER TAKE THAT
INSTEAD OF WHAT'S GOING ON,
BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THAT IS
MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING THESE
GUYS COULD THINK OF.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SMART MAN -- THAT IS A SMART
MAN.
>> THEY FOUND THE ACHILLES'
HEEL, I THINK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WE GOT IT!
>> MOST OF THE OTHER ONES
HAVEN'T FOUND LOVE IN A REAL
WAY.
[ BUZZER ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Narrator: JOE AND MURR
COULDN'T CATCH UP TO THE OTHER
GUYS, SO THEY'RE ON THE LOSER
BOARD.
COMING UP...
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TONIGHT'S BIG
LOSER IS FORCED TO FACE HIS
BIGGEST FEAR?
>> All: GERONIMO!
>> AAH! AAH!
>> DAMN, BOY!
IT'S A JOKER SHOWDOWN --
SAL VERSUS MURR.
>> TODAY, WE'RE COMPETING
HEAD-TO-HEAD, PITCHING OUR
BRAND-NEW INVENTIONS TO A FOCUS
GROUP.
>> THE CATCH IS OUR INVENTIONS
HAVE BEEN CREATED BY THE OTHER
TWO GUYS.
>> THE GOAL IS TO CONVINCE A
GROUP THAT YOUR PRODUCT IS THE
BETTER OF THE TWO.
>> THIS GROUP -- BY SHOW OF
HANDS WHICH INVENTION THEY LIKE
THE BEST.
>> IF YOUR PRODUCT GETS THE
LEAST AMOUNT OF VOTES, YOU LOSE.
>> Narrator: IT'S A JOKER
SHOWDOWN DOUBLE DOWN.
>> HI. HOW ARE YOU GUYS?
>> PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
I'M SAL VULCANO.
>> EDWARD.
>> THESE GUYS JUST FIGHT ABOUT
EVERYTHING.
>> COME ON AND HAVE A SEAT,
PLEASE.
>> DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD BE
FRIENDS IF WE WEREN'T IN THE
PICTURE?
>> NO!
>> MY PRODUCT THAT I'M GONNA BE
TALKING ABOUT TODAY...
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
...IS THE 47 HOUR ENERGY BAR.
[ CHUCKLES ]
FINALLY, RIGHT?
>> AND THEN, THE OTHER PRODUCT,
THAT I'M GOING TO BE SHOWING
YOU, IS...
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
THEY'RE WIRELESS TIN CANS.
WE CALL THESE THE "CANTENNAS."
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
ARE YOU LIKE ME?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING
DREARY AND WEARY AT THE 46th
HOUR?
I KEPT ON FINDING THAT, AROUND
THE 46th HOUR, I WOULD START TO
GET TIRED, AND I NEEDED
SOMETHING TO GET ME THROUGH
THAT.
>> WAIT. THIS IS GONNA BE THE
SIZE OF IT?
>> THAT IS THE SIZE OF IT.
>> HOW MUCH OF IT DO YOU NEED TO
EAT TO GET YOUR...
>> THE WHOLE BAR.
>> IF YOU WANT ALL 47 HOURS,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT THE
WHOLE THING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SAY THAT YOU NEED
23 1/2 HOURS --
RIGHT ABOUT THERE.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> NOW, YOU'VE SEEN TIN CANS
BEFORE THAT HAVE BEEN JOINED BY
STRING.
SO, IN THE PAST, YOU'VE BEEN
LIMITED TO THE DISTANCE THAT YOU
CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.
SO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU TALK INTO
THIS END WHILE THE OTHER
PERSON'S LISTENING, AND YOU
JUST, YOU KNOW -- AND IT'S
VERY -- AND THEN, YOU CAN
SWITCH, AND THE OTHER PERSON CAN
LISTEN AS YOU'RE TALKING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
THEY CONNECT INTO ANY KIND OF
WI-FI SYSTEM THAT YOU'VE GOT,
TOO.
>> WHY WOULDN'T I JUST USE MY
CELLPHONE?
>> HELLO! DATA PLAN COSTS!
RIGHT?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> $10 FOR MY DATA PLAN,
UNLIMITED.
>> THERE IS NO DATA PLAN FOR
THESE.
>> THIS FITS RIGHT IN MY POCKET.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T FIT IN
YOUR POCKET?
A 4-POUND BAR.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT IN YOUR
STOMACH.
>> THIS IS ALSO EXTREMELY HEAVY.
THAT'S -- THAT'S A SOLID FOOT.
HOW WOULD YOU BRING THAT AROUND?
>> EXTREMELY HEAVY FOR WHO --
A SMURF?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WOW, IT'S HEATED IN THAT
ROOM.
>> DAMN.
>> HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD BRING
THE CANTENNAS TO MARKET, BY SHOW
OF HANDS?
>> I STICK WITH MY VOTE.
>> SO, ONE.
>> HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS THINK AN
ORGANIC, ALL-NATURAL ENERGY IS
THE WAY TO GO?
ONE, TWO, THREE.
>> THREE. THREE.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> BOOM!
[ BUZZER ]
>> AND MURR'S OUT.
>> Narrator: MURR COULDN'T
INVENT HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE,
SO HE'S TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
>> THERE'S A REASON WE'RE OVER
HERE AND MURR IS OVER THERE.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
TODAY, WE MADE THIS MURRAY'S
PUNISHMENT.
>> HE THINKS THAT WE'RE TEACHING
CLASSES.
>> LOOK AT THAT IDIOT.
LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE.
>> WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS
SECRET FOR A LONG TIME, AND I
CAN'T WAIT TO REVEAL IT.
>> IF YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE
STREET AND I'VE LOOKED HAPPY
LATELY...
>> IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS.
>> ...IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS --
THIS DAY.
>> TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT
SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN
CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW
TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
>> Together: WELL...
>> MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
>> MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT!
NO, IT IS NOT!
NO, NO, NO!
[ RUMBLING ]
>> TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT
SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN
CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW
TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
>> Together: WELL...
>> MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
>> MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT!
NO, IT IS NOT.
THERE'S NO [BLEEP] WAY I'M
JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
>> YOU...
>> NO, NO [BLEEP] WAY!
NO WAY!
>> THE EPISODE...
>> IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
>> SO, MURRAY THOUGHT WE WERE
COMING HERE TO TEACH CLASSES
TODAY...
>> NO, NO WE'RE NOT!
>> ...BUT IN FACT, IT'S HIS
PUNISHMENT.
>> MURRAY IS DEATHLY, DEATHLY
AFRAID OF SKYDIVING -- HIS
ENTIRE LIFE, SAYING HE WILL
NEVER DO IT.
>> I AM NOT JUMPING -- NO WAY.
>> HE'S AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
>> NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.
>> MURRAY, I DROVE YOU HERE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH. ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET A NEW SUIT.
>> I'M NOT DOING IT, MAN.
START THE VAN. I'M GOING.
GIVE ME THE [BLEEP] KEYS.
I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT?
I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS...
>> IT'S NO JOKE, BRO.
>> PUT YOUR SUIT ON AND MAN UP,
BUDDY.
>> THIS IS [BLEEP] MAN.
WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, GUYS?
>> WELL, WE'LL MOURN YOU.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
>> WAIT. HOLD ON.
HOLY [BLEEP]
HE HAS A HEART.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S PUNISHMENT, AND YOU KNOW
THAT -- YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
BUT WE ALL MADE A PACT YEARS AGO
THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO
PUNISHMENTS.
>> THIS IS BEYOND.
>> IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER,
WE'RE GOING UP IN THE PLANE WITH
YOU.
>> BUT WE'RE JUST GONNA LAND A
DIFFERENT WAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH [BLEEP] ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ SIGHS ]
THAT'S ALL IT IS, IS JUST THIS?
YOU DON'T TIE IT IN, LIKE, A
DOUBLE KNOT OR SOMETHING?
>> NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I MEAN, THIS IS JUST FABRIC,
RIGHT?
THIS IS JUST CLOTH.
>> IT'S NYLON.
>> NYLON?
THIS IS -- THIS IS NYLON, GUYS.
AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING
THE -- HOW -- HOW STRONG THE
FABRIC IS, IT'S NYLON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHUCKLING ]
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> LET'S GO, MURR.
>> HOLD YOUR HAND.
>> LET'S GO, MURRAY! YEAH!
>> HOLD IT.
>> THERE WE GO.
>> GUYS, WE DID IT -- WE GET TO
THROW MURRAY OUT OF A PLANE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ONLY ONE WAY OUT NOW, MURR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> TAKING THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR
DOWN, BUDDY.
>> GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS.
I'M GONNA LOSE MY [BLEEP] MAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, MY GOD.
[ APPLAUSE ]
ARE WE AT -- WE HAVE TO GET --
ARE WE THERE?
I MEAN, THIS IS TOO HIGH.
THIS IS WAY TOO HIGH, DON'T YOU
THINK?
WHY ARE WE STILL GOING UP?
[ ALL SCREAMING ]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> [ WHIMPERING ]
>> COME ON, MURRAY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> All: GERONIMO!
>> AAH! AAH!
OH, MY GOD!
AAH!
AAAH! AAAH!
[ SCREAMING ]
OH, MY GOD!
AAH! AAH!
OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
[ SCREAMING ]
>> THAT WAS SCARY JUST WATCHING
IT.
>> JUST WATCHING MURRAY.
>> I KNOW...
>> AAH! AAH!
AAH!
OH! OH! OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!
DID THE PARACHUTE GO UP?
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> DON'T DROP ME, MAN.
>> I'M NOT GONNA DROP YOU.
>> DON'T DROP ME.
I'M NOT GONNA FALL.
HOLY [BLEEP]
I NEED THREE NEW BEST FRIENDS.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> AH! AH!
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I COULDN'T HAVE THIS.
COME HERE. COME HERE.
NO, NO, NO!