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-What's happenin', guys?
My hair is extra-super-puffy, that's what's up.
But I got something that will definitely make you say,
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
-[yipping]
-Oh, my God.
That is so f--king cute!
It's like a small polar bear that sounds like Gizmo.
Holy motherf--ker that is cute!
Now that video got like 400,000 views in a year
and the dog's just howling in his sleep I guess.
I guess it's like having night terrors or something.
-[yips]
-Holy Jesus f--k s--t, that is so incredibly cute!
So someone sent me a really obscure video.
As of now it only has 120 views,
but it's pretty funny.
Usually, I explain the setup of the video,
but this guy does it well.
-All right, time to get my roommate back.
I've got the typical rubber band around the nozzle
so if he turns the water faucet on, it's gonna spray.
But my roommate's a little smart, so I've got a backup plan.
Apples, pillow case.
-All right, you got that?
So then, the roommate I guess comes home.
-Oh, yeah.
Oh, s--t!
-Oh, how do you like them apples?
Okay, as I said, this video's funny, but I still have a problem with that.
And it's not that it's fake,
I mean, this part seems a little acted,
but the roommate doesn't flinch before being hit,
which makes me think it's real.
My issue is that the guy calls it a prank
and a prank usually involves some elaborate trickery.
Come on, this isn't a prank,
this is just a dude getting assaulted with a bag of apples.
-F--k you, Gumby!
-You know, I'm gonna play a prank.
I'm gonna go to the mall and find a random Asian woman
and punch her right in the mouth.
Such a good prank.
And just a quick side-note,
if you roommate ever teabags you with a sack of apples,
it's probably time to break your lease.
Guys, 2 million views in two days.
I know you had to have seen this footage of the New York governor debate.
All right, so there's this guy, Jimmy McMillan, running for governor.
Now he represents the Rent Is Too Damn High Party
and his whole platform is that rent is too damn high.
I represent the Rent Is Too Damn High Party.
People working 8 hours a day and 40 hours a week to some have a third job.
Women can't afford to take care of their children,
feed their children breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
They're being laid off right now as I speak.
They can't eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
Listen, someone's stomach or child's stomach just growled, did you hear it?
Got to listen like me.
-Okay...
-Let's talk about the issues. People can't afford to pay their rent.
-Mr. Cuomo, 30 seconds for you, sir.
-Rent is too damn high.
[light laughter]
As a karate expert, I will not talk about anybody up here.
Because our children can't afford to live anywhere.
Nowhere, there's nowhere to go.
Once again, why?
You said it, the rent is too damn high.
[applause]
-Thank you, Mr. McMillan.
-All right, a few things.
I'm not gonna chastise the guy because his heart's in the right place,
and let's face it,
rent's really f--king high.
But admittedly, it's hard to take him serious as a politician
when he looks like the black Colonel Sanders
and is wearing the same gloves that OJ Simpson used to strangle his wife.
And on top of all that,
some of the things he says is a little unorthodox.
-Listen, someone's stomach or child's stomach just growled, did you hear it?
Gotta listen like me.
-No, that wasn't the child's stomach growling,
that was this dog having nightmares.
-[yipping]
-It's just so motherf--king *** cute, I can't stand it!
Anyway, and then he says...
-As a karate expert, I will not talk about anyone up here.
-What? As a karate expert.
I guess that actually makes sense,
'cause every now and then in politics,
you wanna kung-fu a motherf--ker.
Oh, what's that, Christine O'Donnell?
Oh, you're not a witch? Ha-cha!
And then he address, I guess, gay marriage with this comment.
-Rent Too Damn High Party feels
if you wanna marry a shoe, I'll marry her.
[laughter]
-What?
Marry a shoe?
I mean, I'll have a one-night hookup with a low-top sneaker,
but I'm not trying to marry it.
Anyway, this future governor may or may not be a little eccentric,
but he's definitely entertaining to watch.
But you know what else is entertaining to watch?
The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bing!,
and he said.
-Hey, Ray.
Hugs from Brazil.
My comment question of the day is someone's in trouble,
this is a work for...
-I think he meant "This is a job for"
so someone's in trouble,
this is a job for...
Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below
or on Facebook or Twitter.
But thanks for watching today's episode of =3.
I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message.
So tell me guys,
who's better,
men or women?
[Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing]
Captioned by SpongeSebastian
What?
I'm not calling you.