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A viewer asks, "My siblings and I are trying to work with our failing parents. Is there
any advice that you can give us when emotions are running high?" Well, this is it. This
is the common denominator of family caregiving. Family caregiving and the emotions that are
associated with it are like a roller coaster. There's ups, there's downs, there's insides,
there's upsides. Just like a roller coaster, you feel like you're out of control. And that's
the problem. If you're a primary caregiver with your loved one, or if you're a long-distance
caregiver, the disease process and the chronic illness and what to do is one of those processes
we have little or no control. So we have to let go. However, everybody gets invested and
family caregiving triggers these family of origin issues from early on. So, I always
say to start the conversation early if you can. That's the prevention piece of family
caregiving. Because, if you're not providing care today for somebody, you will be providing
care tomorrow. And if you're not receiving care today from somebody, you will be receiving
care tomorrow. So, nobody escapes this. So, make sure you find a good time to start the
process of talking with your family early. But, this question really means I need to
give you some sort of an answer about intervention, because it sounds like emotions are running
high right now. So, this is how I would suggest to go about it. Number one, I would find a
third party preferably licensed of course. A geriatric care manager. A social worker.
That's a person who literally can facilitate all the strengths and weaknesses, if you will,
of the entire family system. Who can provide what, where, and how. Who's most capable of
doing that? Also, the messages that are being imparted between the families that are creating
these high emotions can instead be imparted by a professional. And then the entire family
can wrap themselves around it. So it's so important to do that. That professional of
course, will then also set up teleconferences. I suggest on a monthly basis. To give downloads.
To give authentic history of what's going on. And to ask questions how people can come
involved become involved with their loved one and how they can support the primary caregiver.
That person closest who is giving care to their loved one. Always remember that family
caregiving is a group of individuals that come around a loved one to do a sacred task.
So, each of the individuals in family caregiving have to be taking care of themselves. Wherever
you're at. Long distance or there. Find a support group. Find a good therapist. Find
somebody who's a best friend and talk to them. Make sure you don't isolate. Get out and talk
to others. It's the remedy that you need. So, if you're taking care of yourself, find
yourself a professional. Have monthly meetings as to what to do and how to strategize it.
You'll be on the right path. Good luck and email me back as to how that works.