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How to Hook Up with Your Girlfriend’s Roommate. For efficiency’s sake, if you’re going
to cheat on your girlfriend, you might as well date her roommate. You will need A girlfriend
with a jealous or hateful roommate and the ability to lie convincingly. This will probably
not end well. Step 1. Get a girlfriend whose roommate is the jealous or hateful type. College
dorms are good hunting grounds. A backstabbing sorority girl paired with a sarcastic philosophy
major is an ideal combination. Step 2. If your girlfriend and her roomie get along,
drive a wedge between them. For example, get one of your male friends to tell the roommate
that your girlfriend talks trash about her behind her back. Be careful—your attempts
to turn them against each other must not be traceable to you. Step 3. Drop by one day
when you know your girlfriend is out. Casually bring up a complaint about your girlfriend
that the roomie will relate to—like you’ve just discovered she badmouths you to others.
Step 4. Suggest going out for a cup of coffee—claim you’re so hurt about your girlfriend’s
behavior that you need to talk to someone. Step 5. Thank her for listening to you. Tell
her what a smart, kind, and—yes, you’re just gonna say it—sexy woman she is. Confess,
sheepishly, that you wish you had met her first. Step 6. Keep feeding the roomie nonsense
about how awful your girlfriend is to you—and how nastily she speaks of _her_. At this point,
the roommate will likely be pursuing you. Step 7. Hook up with both gals for as long
as you can. Eventually the roomie will tire of revenge or your girlfriend will find out.
Either way, the jig will be up. Did you know Many states still have anti-adultery laws
from the 19th century that have never been repealed but are no longer enforced.