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In this video, we’re going to discuss how you can keep your girlfriend. When people fall in
love, you have this honeymoon period. It’s a period of time when everything is perfect. You
throw around the words love, forever, and promise that you’ll never change your mind. Then,
after a period of three to eighteen months, things change. You grow distant and the next thing
you know, you’re fighting, arguing and wanting to spend less time together and more time with
others. In this country, almost half of every marriage ends in divorce. Why? It’s because we’ve
been told falsehoods like, “Love conquers all.” In truth, most people’s experience of love is that it
can be conquered by constant arguing, money worries and uncontrolled *** urges. Now,
while studies have shown that many relationships fall apart because people are just not
compatible, there are just as many that fall apart due to apathy where people are hoping things
will work as well as they did at the beginning of a relationship, when they first fell in love. In
truth, what kept that initial relationship going wasn’t love, it was passion. And passion has a
shelf life. Now, many people decide that when they feel things start to drop off and that initial
passion has worn out, they get married as a boost for that happiness. And in fact, Richard E.
Lucas and colleagues from Michigan State University have shown that that happiness booster
can keep things going in a marriage for another two years. But once again, ultimately,
happiness levels with each other drop back down to their regular state. Now, according to
Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, infatuation and
passion have short life spans and must evolve into a compassionate love built more on deep
affection. So, here are three things that you can do to develop that
longer lasting compassionate love.
Number one, be spontaneous. The passion you experienced at the start of the relationship can
be rekindled by external stimulus. Studies have shown that our attraction levels increase along
with high adrenaline situations. So, spontaneously partaking in regular high adrenaline
activities can significantly prolong your feelings towards each other. Things like sky diving or
rock climbing, go-karting or other extreme sports will all give you that boost that you need.
Physical contact is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. So, in number two, you want to
concentrate on things like hugging, kissing, or massaging your partner on a daily basis and not
only when you want sex. The key is to make touch such a common part of your everyday life
together that it would be weird if it was missing. Try a surprise hug while they’re cleaning their
teeth in the morning or a spontaneous massage as they watch their favorite TV show. This is
going to keep that physical connection going in your relationship.
Number three, you want more positive energy than negative. For every fight or argument you
have, you should have at least three good experiences together. Now, this can be tough,
especially if you’re already in a slightly volatile situation. But you should find things get a lot
easier as long as you start building up those regular positive interactions, even if they are as
simple as letting someone know that you appreciate them. Sometimes, with all the energy we
put into getting into a relationship in the first place, we forget the importance of keeping that
energy going to stay in the relationship that we worked so hard to get initially.
Now, if you’ve got a story or a tip on how you keep your relationships fresh and healthy, why
not mention it in the comments below? And if you’d like to talk to me personally about dating
or attraction, then get in contact with me on Twitter at twitter.com/afcadam. Don’t forget to
subscribe to ensure you don’t miss out on any of our future videos. And I look forward to
seeing you next time.