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AH!
(gasps)
(grunts) NICK.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
IT'S UNDER CONTROL, NICK.
(groans)
NOLA... PUT THE KNIFE DOWN.
JEREMY.
NOT UNTIL HE TELLS ME WHERE MY BROTHER IS.
YEAH, SIMON'S HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE.
(breathes erratically)
NOLA... LISTEN TO ME.
YOU STEP BACK, NICK.
JEREMY, STAY OUT OF THIS. YOU WERE NEVER HERE.
NO, NO POLICE,
OH, ALL RIGHT.
SO WE'LL JUST STAND HERE UNTIL HE BLEEDS TO DEATH
AND YOU'RE ARRESTED FOR ***.
TELL ME WHERE HE IS!
ALL RIGHT, LOOK...
WE ALL WANT SOMETHING HERE--
SHE WANTS HER BROTHER, AND YOU WANT TO LIVE--
I WILL CUT YOUR THROAT.
GO TO HELL.
ALL RIGHT. FINE.
WE'LL JUST STAND HERE...
AND WATCH YOU DIE.
(whispers) TELL ME WHERE HE IS.
LAUSANNE.
LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND.
THE ADDRESS IS TAPED TO THE TOP OF THE SAFE. IT'S OPEN.
(grunts and breathes heavily)
I SAID WE ALL WANT SOMETHING HERE,
AND THAT INCLUDES ME.
I'M LISTENING.
HERE'S THE DEAL-- I'LL GET YOU MEDICAL ATTENTION,
I'LL SAVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU STAY OUT OF KAREN'S.
KAREN'S?
SHE'S CARRYING MY BABY.
YEAH, I KNOW, AND I'M ASKING YOU
TO STAY AWAY FROM BOTH OF THEM, YOU UNDERSTAND?
I AM NOT THE BAD GUY HERE. IF YOU JUST UNTIE ME--
SAY YOU UNDERSTAND, AND I WILL LISTEN TO YOUR STORY LATER.
(Nola) THE ADDRESS. I GOT IT.
I UNDERSTAND.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL STAY AW--
(sighs)
(Tripp) YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, BRINGING HIM HERE.
WE HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED.
LIKE HOW IT JUST SO HAPPENS YOUR BIGGEST RIVAL,
THE MAN WHO USED YOUR DAUGHTER
TO FORCE HIS WAY INTO THE COMPANY,
IS IN LEAGUE WITH NOLA LYONS,
THE WOMAN WHO PROSECUTED YOUR WIFE FOR ***?
AND NOW SERVES AS MY SON'S CHIEF OF STAFF.
EXACTLY.
GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN.
GOOD EVENING.
IF YOU TWO WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO EXCUSE ME,
CERTAINLY.
YES, OF COURSE.
LET'S GO HAVE A CHAT
WITH OUR LITTLE TROUBLEMAKER, SHALL WE?
(Nick) NO, WE CAN'T.
BUT I CAN CALL THE AIR MARSHALS
AND LET THEM KNOW YOU'RE FLEEING TO SWITZERLAND
JUST HOURS AFTER AN ATTEMPTED ***
AND HAVE YOU SENT AWAY FOR 10 TO 20.
ASK HIM, INSPECTOR.
I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
I STOPPED HAVING A CHOICE THE DAY SIMON TOOK MY BROTHER.
SO THIS IS ALL SIMON'S IDEA,
YES.
MY ENTIRE INVOLVEMENT
WITH THIS LUNATIC FAMILY WAS SIMON ELDER'S IDEA.
I TOLD YOU. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM.
MS. LYONS, IF YOU'VE MISLED US,
IF YOU'VE MISREPRESENTED YOURSELF IN ANY WAY,
I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING THAT I KNOW.
LET ME GO SEE MY BROTHER, PLEASE.
(Jeremy) HOW'D THE INQUISITION GO?
AS EXPECTED.
THANKFULLY THEY LET ME GO BEFORE ROLLING OUT THE RACK.
AND WHERE ARE YOU MOTORING OFF TO?
WELL, UM, I'VE GOTTA GO PICK UP MY BROTHER NOW
MAXIMUM. MARIA PACKED ME. I'M ALL SET.
JEREMY, YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH ME.
I HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN.
OKAY, BUT WHEN YOU COME BACK,
YOU AND ME ARE GOING ON A SIMON-FREE,
***-FREE, AMNESIA-FREE VACATION.
I'M NOT COMING BACK.
I'M TAKING JUSTIN HOME TO SHANGHAI
AND I'M STAYING THERE.
YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE.
I CAN AND I AM.
I'M SORRY.
GOOD-BYE.
(sighs) ANY CHANGE?
VITALS ARE WEAK BUT STEADY.
APPARENTLY THE LETTER OPENER ALMOST PIERCED HIS LUNG.
THE DOCTOR SAID HE COULD COME TO AT ANY TIME.
EVERYWHERE WE TURN,
THERE ARE WOLVES AT THE DOORS.
WE HAVE YET ANOTHER PRESSING MATTER.
YEAH, WHAT'S THAT?
I GOT A CALL FROM RICHARD GORDA OVER AT RANDOM HOUSE.
HE SAID THAT SMITH AND SHEPARD
HAVE SIGNED A CONTRACT
COMMISSIONING AN UNAUTHORIZED BOOK
ON THE DARLING FAMILY.
WELL, IT'S LIKELY JUST GOSSIP, TRIPP.
SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.
I'M AFRAID THIS IS PROBABLY NOT JUST GOSSIP.
RICHARD DESCRIBED IT AS A TELL-ALL BOOK.
AND THE AUTHOR IN THIS INSTANCE...
MAY WELL BE THE FIRST PERSON ACTUALLY EQUIPPED
TO DO JUST THAT.
WHO'S THE AUTHOR?
YOUR SOON-TO-BE EX-WIFE LISA.
♪♪
THIS IS THE THIRD IN THE SERIES.
THE FIRST TWO WENT TO LAURIE ANDERSON AND LOU REED.
SO THIS IS YOURS IF YOU WANT IT.
LISA.
I'LL BE WITH YOU IN JUST A MOMENT, OKAY?
NICK, I WAS WONDERING
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LISA?
I'M WORKING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LET'S NOT PLAY ANY GAMES. I KNOW ABOUT THE BOOK.
SO WHAT DID YOU TELL THE EDITORS TO GET THEM TO SIGN ON?
JUST THE TRUTH. HOW SAD IS THAT?
(sighs)
WHY, YOU PLANNING ON BRIBING ME OUT OF WRITING THE BOOK?
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU THINK THE DARLINGS' MONEY WON'T BUY?
I'M NOT TRYING TO GET BACK AT ANYBODY.
I AM TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. THE STANDARD OF LIVING
FOR MOST WOMEN AFTER DIVORCE GOES DOWN CONSIDERABLY,
AND I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME.
I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN TO KIKI.
D-DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE BECOMING?
I'M JUST CURIOUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? UNLESS YOU WANT TO BUY A PAINTING,
I THINK YOU SHOULD GO.
(sighs)
(woman growls and laughs)
AH! AH!
OH, MY. YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE.
MM.
THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A LUNCH MEETING.
(laughs)
WELL, I TOLD YOU I COULD MAKE YOU HAPPY...
OVER AND OVER AGAIN. (laughs)
OH, YOU'VE... MADE ME MORE THAN HAPPY.
YOU'VE REMINDED ME THAT HAPPINESS
IS SOMETHING THAT I CAN STILL FEEL.
THANK YOU.
WELL, HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING.
WHERE... DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
WELL, I'M SORRY.
I HAVE A PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE
AT MY KID'S SCHOOL.
OKAY.
(laughs)
CAN I SEE YOU LATER?
PATRICK...
THIS IS JUST SEX, REMEMBER?
I MEAN, I HAVE TO GO HOME.
I'M... NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX.
I WANT US TO...
HAVE A DATE.
A DATE?
YES. WE CAN HANG OUT AND TALK,
AND AFTER WE'RE DONE IF YOU WANT TO GO HOME,
YOU GO HOME.
I JUST... WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.
WELL, THERE'S AN EXHIBIT AT THE LOGAN GALLERY
I WANT TO SEE.
I LOVE THE LOGAN.
(laughs)
LET'S DO IT.
OKAY. THEN IT'S A DATE.
MM.
(Charles) HOW'D IT GO WITH MY WIFE?
YOU TWO HAVE A GOOD TIME?
WHEN?
LAST NIGHT?
(laughs) I KNOW SHE HAD A GOOD TIME.
SHE WAS STILL GUSHING
WHEN I SAW HER AT BREAKFAST THIS MORNING.
YEAH, SHE, UH, SHE HAD SOME FUN.
OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER, SENATOR?
YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE MY SHOES MATCH MY BELT
THAT I CAN'T APPRECIATE MY OWN WIFE AS A WOMAN?
COME ON. YOU CAN SAY IT.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
IS IT ALL RIGHT IF WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT HERE?
HOWEVER YOU WANT TO PLAY IT.
(breathing heavily)
LOOK... I GOTTA GO.
SORRY TO CUT THIS SHORT. I'M RUNNING LATE.
NO WORRIES BUT, YOU KNOW, WE NEVER DID
TALK ALL THE DETAILS OF YOUR BIOFUEL PROJECT.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HAVE DINNER TONIGHT?
SORRY, UH, CAN'T. BOOKED. SOME OTHER TIME.
SOME OTHER TIME SOON, SENATOR.
DEFINITELY.
♪♪
BRIAN?
I'M IN THE KITCHEN, MOM.
AND THE KITCHEN WOULD BE?
IT'S HERE, MOM. (laughs)
OH. (chuckles)
(sighs deeply)
OH, MY.
THIS IS-- THIS IS THE KITCHEN?
REALLY?
OH, WELL, IT'S, UM...
YEAH, I WAS GOING TO SAY
IT'S SORT OF CHARMINGLY INTIME.
OH!
OH, IT'S BREAKFAST CEREAL.
THE LITTLE BRAT KIKI SCATTERS IT ALL AROUND
LIKE LAND MINES.
YEAH, DON'T ASK ME WHAT THAT IS.
AHH.
WITH A DASH OF LOWERED EXPECTATIONS.
I'D OPEN THE WINDOW,
BUT THEN WE'D LET THE SOUNDS OF THE THIRD WORLD IN.
(clicks tongue)
SO... HOW'S ANDREA?
WELL, SHE'S NOT QUITE READY TO...
WELCOME YOU BACK.
(groans)
HOW AM I GONNA STICK THIS OUT?
I MEAN, ONE WEEK IS FINE,
BUT AFTER THAT, IT JUST BECOMES A FIVE-STAR STY.
OH.
WELL...
WE COULD SPRUCE IT UP A BIT.
I HAVE SOME IDEAS.
(groans)
(doorbell rings)
I HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DON'T SAY THOSE NEXT FOUR WORDS.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I LOVE YOU.
COME ON. LET'S DO IT...
ALL OF IT--
THE WHITE PICKET FENCE,
THE MIXED-BREED SPAWN.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BARBECUE, BUT I COULD LEARN.
(laughs)
JEREMY, I HAVE SPENT THE LAST FIVE YEARS
TRYING TO REUNITE MY FAMILY.
I CAN BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY, TOO.
BRING ME ALONG TO THE REUNION. I'LL PAY.
NO.
I LOVE YOU. I DO.
BUT I HAVE TO LEAVE.
THIS--THIS LIFE ISN'T REAL.
BUT I'M REAL. WE'RE REAL.
OKAY, GRANTED, WE STARTED OUT A LITTLE FAKE,
BUT WE TURNED THE CORNER SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY.
WE GOT REAL.
JUST LET ME GO.
PLEASE.
(ring box closes)
(Karen) HE LOOKS SO PEACEFUL, DOESN'T HE?
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
MAYBE HE'S DEAD.
A GIRL CAN DREAM, CAN'T SHE?
HEY, WAY TO GO.
YOU SAID YOU WOULD
KEEP SIMON AWAY FROM ME AND THE BABY,
AND NOW HE LIVES HERE.
COME ON, KAREN. I AGREED TO BRING HIM HERE--
SAVED HIS LIFE ESSENTIALLY-- TO GET A PROMISE FROM HIM
AND YOU BELIEVED HIM?
THIS IS ONE TIME THAT SIMON ELDER
IS GONNA LIVE UP TO HIS WORD, I PROMISE.
LOOK, KAREN, EVENTUALLY,
THE GUY IS GONNA WANT TO HAVE CONTACT WITH HIS CHILD,
BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW, HE IS OUT OF THE PICTURE.
I PROMISE.
OKAY.
GOOD, BECAUSE THIS BABY...
YEAH?
(sighs)
I KINDA LOVE IT.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.
(footsteps approach)
MR. GEORGE, MR. ELDER'S AWAKE.
THANK YOU.
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY.
I PROMISE.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
WHERE AM I?
YOU'RE AT THE IMPERIAL.
(sighs) NICELY PLAYED.
MM.
HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN OUT?
LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO DO A LITTLE RESEARCH.
JEREMY TOLD ME HOW YOU WERE GONNA FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH.
SAID YOU WERE PLANNING A GETAWAY. WHY?
WHY WHAT, PRECISELY?
WHY THE NEED TO DISAPPEAR? WHY NOLA? WHY HER BROTHER?
WHY THE DARLINGS? YOU CAN START WHEREVER YOU LIKE.
LOOK, YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME,
NICK, I DID--I TOLD YOU,
I'M NOT THE BAD GUY HERE.
YEAH, YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, SIMON.
BUT YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME WHO IS.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL TELL YOU.
(man) SIMON.
NOW WHAT IS THIS NEW INVENTION?
IT IS A FUEL.
JUST A SEED OF AN IDEA AT THIS POINT,
AH.
I AM STILL SEEKING ECONOMICAL MEANS OF PRODUCTION.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME, HERE IT IS.
(child babbles)
IT IS COMPLETELY ORGANIC.
WATCH. NONTOXIC.
AND IT WORKS IN ANY TRADITIONAL INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE
WITH A LITTLE MINOR ALTERATION.
THAT IS AMAZING.
(speaks foreign language)
THERE SHE IS-- MY LITTLE GIRL.
(speaks foreign language)
(speaks foreign language)
(laughs)
HEY, JUSTIN. WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE?
WOW.
NI HAO.
NOLA, THIS IS SIMON,
ONE OF MY OLD STUDENTS FROM MOSCOW.
NOLA IS AN ATTORNEY IN NEW YORK.
JUST LIKE YOU, SIMON, SHE'S GOING STRAIGHT TO THE TOP.
WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT. (laughs)
IT'S A SHAME YOUR MOTHER DID NOT LIVE TO SEE THIS DAY.
UM, WELL, I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU, MR. ELDER.
YOU'RE MY FATHER'S STAR PUPIL.
OH, WELL, WHATEVER HE SAYS, DON'T BELIEVE HIM.
(laughs)
(laughs) UM, EXCUSE ME.
(gasping)
(Nick) WHAT'S HAPPENING?
SIMON?
SIM--UH...
WHAT'S GOING ON?
UH, UH, HE WAS FINE, HE WAS TALKING,
GET A SYRINGE AND AN OXYGEN BAG.
HIS LUNG'S COLLAPSED.
LOOK, I NEED YOU TO LEAVE AND LET ME DO MY JOB
(gasping)
(monitor beeping erratically)
(Jeremy) LOOK AT YOU.
CREEPWAD.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
SHE SHOULD'VE KILLED YOU WHEN SHE HAD THE CHANCE.
I WISH SHE HAD.
WHAT?
HE ALMOST CRASHED THREE HOURS AGO.
THE DOCTOR HAD TO COME IN AND STABILIZE HIM.
IF HE FLATLINED NOW... NO ONE WOULD THINK TWICE.
THIS IS THE MORPHINE DRIP.
ALL YOU DO IS THIS.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
GIVE HIM FIVE MINUTES,
AND HE'LL SINK LIKE THE "TITANIC."
YOU SAID YOU HATED HIM.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ARE YOU HAPPY?
LOOK, IT'S OKAY.
IT'S NOT MORPHINE. IT'S SALINE. IT'S HARMLESS.
I WAS JOKING. I'M SORRY. YOU SEEMED SAD.
YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU COULD USE A LITTLE ENTERTAINMENT.
WELL, UM...
THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
AND... IF YOU WANT SOME MORE ENTERTAINMENT LATER,
MY SHIFT ENDS AT 10:00.
(Patrick) I LIKE HIS MORE MATURE WORKS,
WHEN YOU GET THE FEELING
HE WASN'T TRYING TO IMPRESS ANYBODY ANYMORE.
HE WAS JUST DOING IT FOR HIMSELF.
YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR STUFF, PAT.
I KNOW WHAT I LIKE.
THE NICE THING ABOUT GROWING UP WITH MONEY
IS YOU GET TO SPEND YOUR LIFE
AROUND A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS.
THANKS FOR COMING OUT LIKE THIS.
I'M GLAD I DID.
(Tripp) IT'S NOT GOOD.
SOMEONE FROM THE PUBLISHERS
OF LISA'S UPCOMING EXPOSé
HAS LEAKED A BIT
OF HER QUOTE/UNQUOTE "INSIDER" CONTENT.
WHICH INCLUDES WHAT EXACTLY?
DETAILS OF PATRICK'S MARRIAGE,
HIS AFFAIR,
LETITIA'S TRIAL,
HER PAYMENT OF MONEY TO YOUR MOTHER,
KAREN AND SIMON.
I KNOW.
IT'S... VERY DISAPPOINTING,
BUT I'D LIKE YOU TO GET HOLD
OF THE FAMILY'S PUBLIC RELATIONS PERSON,
REBECCA COLFAX--
NO, NICK.
THIS IS NOT PRESS RELEASES AND NEWSPAPER INTERVIEWS.
WE'RE GONNA NEED PEOPLE ON TELEVISION.
EVEN SO, I THINK IT'S BEST IF I HANDLE IT.
I WANT THAT BOOK NEUTRALIZED, BUT I DON'T WANT LISA ATTACKED.
SO I'LL DO IT.
OKAY.
(cell phone rings)
(beep)
NICK GEORGE.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
(beep)
HE'S AWAKE.
YOU OKAY NOW?
AWW. NICK GEORGE CARES.
THE ONLY REASON I CARE
IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE A STORY TO FINISH.
NOLA'S FATHER HAD JUST SHOWN YOU HIS PROTOTYPE
RIGHT.
SO HOW DID YOU WIND UP TAKING THE CREDIT
AND THE MONEY FOR THAT?
WELL... SHIEN'S LUCK
TOOK A BAD TURN.
(chuckles) YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD.
I AM, BUT EVEN MORE SO, SIMON,
I THINK WITH YOUR PROMINENCE IN THE WORLD MARKETPLACE
AND MY INVENTION...
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
IF YOU ARE READY TO SIGN,
I AM READY TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU... 50-50.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RISK WORTH TAKING.
(laughs)
(speaking foreign language)
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
SIMON, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT,
NO, I'M SURE THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING.
(speaks foreign language)
I WILL. DON'T WORRY.
(speaks foreign language)
(men shouting in foreign language)
(door closes)
(Nick) SO YOU SET HIM UP
AND CONVENIENTLY FORGOT TO MENTION HIM EVER AGAIN.
LOOK, NICK, IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,
I WOULD'VE LEFT THOSE VIALS ON THE TABLE
AND NEVER LOOKED BACK.
THAT IS WHERE ALL MY TROUBLE BEGAN.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
(woman) SO YOU COULD GIVE HIM HIS LAST DOSE OF ANTIBIOTICS
OKAY.
EXCUSE US. WE NEED TO GIVE MR. ELDER HIS BATH.
WE'LL FINISH THIS LATER.
(laughs) HEY. YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.
(footsteps approach)
ALCOHOL IS A DEPRESSANT, CHIEF.
STEP AWAY FROM THE BOTTLE.
(scoffs) IS THAT YOUR PROFESSIONAL OPINION?
NOPE. IT'S PERSONAL...
EMPIRICAL AND ANECDOTAL...
GATHERED FROM MY MANY YEARS OF HARD LIVING.
YOU NEED A CHANGE OF SCENERY.
(scoffs) I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO.
I USED TO, BACK WHEN I WAS JEREMY DARLING.
BUT THEN MY MOTHER GOT ARRESTED FOR ***,
AND EVERYTHING WENT TO HELL.
I FELL IN LOVE...
HIT MY HEAD, FAKED AMNESIA...
HERE I AM.
DRINKING YOUR WAY BACK TO AMNESIA.
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET THERE.
WHAT?
WHEN YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE THIS PITY PARTY OF YOURS,
I HAVE AN IDEA.
♪♪
(man) ♪ WHOO! ♪
♪ SOMEBODY GAVE ME THREE CALLS ♪
(woman) WHOO!
(Jeremy) VIVA LAS VEGAS!
WHOO!
(laughs)
TO... GREAT IDEAS.
♪ IF IT GETS YOU FEELIN' GOOD ♪
♪ IT MUST BE RIGHT ♪
WHAT YOU READING?
OH, A BOOK ABOUT, YOU KNOW...
(clears throat) GIVING BIRTH,
WITH PICTURES.
(laughs)
HEY.
HEY.
I WANT TO DO IT.
OKAY, GET IN. THAT'S--
NO, KAREN. YOU AND ME, TOGETHER.
AND THE BABY?
AND THE BABY, ALL OF US.
WH--
UM... ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
YES. IT'S JUST, WHEN I--
WHEN I THINK ABOUT ALL THE SURPRISES WE'VE GOTTEN
LIKE YOUR EX?
OH. WE CAN PICK 'EM, CAN'T WE?
YEAH, WE SURE CAN.
OH.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY.
AND I'M NOT JUST OKAY... WITH WHO YOU ARE,
I LOVE WHO YOU ARE.
IT'S JUST, FROM THE FIRST DAY THAT I SAW YOU...
IN YOUR LITTLE ORANGE, ONE-PIECE BATHING SUIT
AND YOUR BUCKET OF FROGS AND YOUR SHOVEL...
(sighs) OH, MAN.
I JUST KNEW YOU WERE THE GIRL FOR ME.
MM. I LOVED THAT ONE-PIECE BATHING SUIT.
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
HMM.
SO...
YOU AND ME, WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OH. I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME.
(drill whirring)
(pounding)
(men speaking indistinctly)
BRIAN!
(Brian) I'M IN THE BATHROOM!
(pounding continues)
OR--OR WHAT... HAS, UH, HISTORICALLY BEEN
THE BATHROOM.
WHAT IS IT NOW?
A SAUNA?
YEAH, THE KITCHEN'S GONNA BECOME THE BATHROOM,
AND, UH, KIKI'S ROOM'S GONNA BECOME THE KITCHEN.
ARE YOU INSANE?
NO, NO. UH, KIKI'S GONNA SLEEP IN THIS LITTLE LOFT
THAT WE'RE GONNA BUILD ABOVE THE WINE LOCKER.
NO, LOOK--LISTEN.
LOOK...
IF THE LANDLORD'S GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT,
WE JUST BUY THE BUILDING.
NO, I'M THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM, BRIAN, ME.
YEAH, OBVIOUSLY.
HEY. (exhales deeply)
YOU'RE MY GUEST.
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST BE A GRACIOUS HOST
AND MAKE WAY?
I MEAN, COME ON, WE'RE BOTH MISERABLE HERE.
PUT IT ALL BACK.
(pounding)
NOW.
(door closes)
A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME, SENATOR?
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, CONGRESSMAN?
THIS HAS GOTTA STOP... RIGHT NOW.
YOUR LITTLE AFFAIR WITH MY WIFE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, SENATOR?
I'M STILL TRYING TO GET OVER THE FACT
THAT YOU FOLLOWED US TO THE GALLERY.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
CALLED YOUR OFFICE. TOLD 'EM IT WAS URGENT.
AM I, UH, MISSING SOMETHING HERE?
WE HAD A DEAL. THE DEAL WAS SIMPLE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE AND ONLY SEX.
BUT FROM WHAT I SAW, THE TWO OF YOU
SEEM TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER--BOTH OF YOU.
AND I'LL NOT STAND FOR THAT.
WELL, YOU MAY VERY WELL HAVE TO,
BECAUSE I LIKE HER,
AND YOU, MY FRIEND,
ARE... GAY.
(chuckles)
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN CALL THIS A MARRIAGE.
NO, STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. DON'T GO THERE.
INSTEAD, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THAT?
GO ON.
DANA AND... ME AT THE HOTEL.
IT'S A LITTLE INSURANCE POLICY, SENATOR.
YOU SEE, WHENEVER MY WIFE GETS TOGETHER WITH SOMEONE
TO HAVE HER NEEDS MET,
I TAKE A COUPLE OF PICTURES,
MAKE SURE THINGS DON'T GET OUT OF HAND,
BECAUSE MEN HAVE A TENDENCY, A NASTY, NASTY TENDENCY,
TO FALL FOR HER.
(sighs) WHAT DO YOU... WHAT DO YOU WANT, CHARLES?
I WANT YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE.
I OFFERED YOU FRIENDSHIP, PATRICK,
I OFFERED YOU-- HOW CAN I PUT THIS--
UNPRECEDENTED ACCESS,
BUT YOU... (chuckles) YOU GOT HUNGRY.
AND YOU FORGOT YOUR MANNERS.
IT'S OVER, SENATOR.
(door opens)
(door closes)
RIGHT.
♪♪
(applause)
PLEASE WELCOME MR. NICK GEORGE,
PERSONAL LEGAL COUNSEL TO THE DARLING FAMILY.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
FIRST, TELL US, DO THE LEAKS COMING OUT
ABOUT THE, UH, DARLING TELL-ALL CONTAIN ANY TRUTH?
I MEAN, ARE THE DARLINGS AS OUT OF CONTROL
NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT.
THEY--IT MAY BE HARD TO BELIEVE,
BUT THEY'RE REALLY A FAMILY LIKE ANY OTHER,
USING THE RESOURCES THEY HAVE TO TRY TO ENJOY LIFE,
SO THE AUTHOR'S CLAIMS THAT, UH, THERE IS TROUBLE IN--
WELL, BEFORE WE GRACE THE AUTHOR'S CLAIMS
WITH ANY ATTENTION, LET'S CONSIDER THAT
THE AUTHOR'S MOTIVATION INCLUDED
A 6-FIGURE CASH ADVANCE TO PEDDLE THIS TRASH.
YES, THAT'S-- THAT'S CORRECT, BOB.
BUT I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN PURSUING
WELL, YOU MIGHT NOT BE,
BUT THE PEOPLE OF NEW YORK ARE VERY INTERESTED IN THE WAY
THAT YOUR FAMILY DRAMA HAS TURNED INTO TABLOID FODDER,
WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE A SURPRISE GUEST TODAY...
SOMEONE WHO IS READY TO SHARE
SOME MORE JUICY DETAILS ABOUT THIS FIRST FAMILY.
SO LET'S BRING HER IN. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE WELCOME MR. GEORGE'S EX-WIFE
AND THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IN QUESTION--
(applause)
HI.
HI.
THANK YOU.
(sighs)
♪♪
NOW BEFORE WE WENT TO BREAK,
THERE WAS A POINT YOU WANTED TO CLEAR UP, MR. GEORGE.
YES, I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOUR AUDIENCE THAT
DESPITE LISA'S ACCUSATIONS, THE DARLINGS, AS A FAMILY,
HAVE DONE AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF GOOD FOR THIS COUNTRY.
THEY'RE NOT PERFECT. THEY'RE HUMAN, JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.
NOT EXACTLY LIKE YOU AND ME.
I MEAN, MOST PEOPLE DON'T FIND OURSELVES SO ENTITLED AS TO
RUN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE WHILE BLATANTLY CHEATING ON OUR WIVES
OR THROWING PARTIES THAT CLOSE DOWN THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE.
WELL, THAT WAS A CHARITY EVENT, FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
THE PROCEEDS OF WHICH EXCEEDED OVER $2 MILLION.
CHARITY EVENT? IT WAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY.
AND I'M SURE THAT THE COMMUTERS
TRYING TO GET HOME TO THEIR FAMILIES THAT NIGHT
YEAH, YOU KNOW, ISN'T THIS A LITTLE HYPOCRITICAL,
SEEING AS HOW YOU HAVE A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
WITH ONE OF THE DARLINGS?
JEREMY DARLING IS AN INVESTOR IN HER ART GALLERY.
I BOUGHT HIM OUT WHEN I GOT MY ADVANCE,
YES.
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A LITTLE DIFFICULT
TO TRUST A MAN DEFENDING THE DARLINGS WHEN HE'S IN FACT
IN LOVE WITH ONE OF THEM?
I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT NICK IS CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP
REALLY? WHAT A TANGLED WEB.
DON'T WORRY, I WON'T GIVE OUT THE SORDID DETAILS NOW,
ALL RIGHT. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
WITH THAT BOMBSHELL, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A BREAK.
(applause)
NICE WORK.
2-MINUTE SEGMENT, AND YOU MANAGED TO HUMILIATE YOURSELF
AND YOUR DAUGHTER IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CITY.
YOU MUST BE SO PROUD.
(microphone feedback whines)
(slot machines beep, coins clink)
WHOO! YOU HAVE A LOT OF GREAT IDEAS.
THANK YOU.
(laughs)
I'M REALLY GLAD WE CAME.
MM. I MEAN... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
YEAH.
MM.
I ACTUALLY FORGOT ABOUT HER FOR A MINUTE.
WHAT?
WELL...
SINCE YOU LOVE MY IDEAS SO MUCH...
YEAH? MM-HMM.
I HAVE ANOTHER ONE.
IT'S KINDA CRAZY, BUT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.
(knock on door)
COME IN.
HEY, LOOK WHO IT IS.
OH, OH, I WATCHED THE THROWDOWN WITH THE WIFE.
NOW I GOTTA SAY, I'M NOT ONE FOR DAYTIME TELEVISION,
BUT THAT... WAS HOT.
YEAH, WELL...
I'M NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT ME.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
SO... YOU STOLE THE BIOFUEL FROM NOLA'S FATHER,
AND THEN WHAT?
HE WAS ARRESTED?
ARRESTED FOR WHAT?
YOUR FATHER'S BEING CHARGED WITH SEDITION--
SOME EDITORIAL HE WROTE
IN WHICH HE DENOUNCED THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT
I NEVER HEARD A THING ABOUT THAT.
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T HAVE ALL THE DETAILS RIGHT NOW,
WHERE IS MY BROTHER?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAVE HIM?
WHERE?
LISTEN, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME.
FROM NOW ON, I WILL BE THE GATEWAY FOR ALL CONTACT
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BROTHER.
AND IN EXCHANGE FOR-- FOR HIS SAFETY,
I'LL GET YOUR HELP, YOUR COOPERATION.
YOU'RE HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE.
SINCE YOU'VE BECOME ASSISTANT D.A.,
YOU'RE IN A UNIQUE POSITION TO HELP ME IN WAYS...
I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
NOW BY THE WAY, IF YOU TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS,
YOU'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.
THAT MEANS NO POLICE, NO PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS, NOTHING.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? BUT IF YOU COOPERATE...
I'LL GET YOUR FATHER RELEASED FROM PRISON.
AND IN TIME...
YOU'LL SEE YOUR BROTHER.
SO THAT'S HOW YOU FORCED NOLA
TO PROSECUTE LETITIA DARLING FOR A CRIME SHE DIDN'T COMMIT?
WHY?
(knock on door)
COME.
HI.
NICK, CAN WE TALK FOR A MINUTE, PLEASE?
PLEASE GO AHEAD.
I'M WELL AWARE.
LISA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? IS KIKI ALL RIGHT?
WELL, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT US.
NICK, PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT THAT TURNED INTO
TODAY AT THE STUDIO.
WELL, LISA, YOU MADE THAT HAPPEN.
YOU MADE THE BOOK DEAL. YOU AGREED TO APPEAR ON THE SHOW.
YOU KNOW ME.
THAT'S NOT WHO I WAS WHEN WE MET.
IT'S NOT WHO I WANT TO BE.
WELL, THEN STOP BEING IT.
START TAKING SOME RESPONSIBILITY
FOR WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US.
I AM.
LISA--
I AM GOING TO.
NICK... WE CAN DO THIS.
LISA--
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S WORTH A TRY,
FOR KIKI IF NOTHING ELSE?
LISA...
IT'S TOO LATE.
DON'T SAY THAT.
IT IS, LISA. I'M SORRY.
JUST... THINK ABOUT IT.
(voice breaking) THINK ABOUT WHAT WE HAD
BEFORE THE DARLINGS.
WE HAD SUCH A GOOD THING.
I KNOW.
JUST... GO BACK THERE.
FOR ONE MINUTE, GO BACK.
LISE. LISE--
OH!
KAREN.
KAREN, WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING VERY COMPLICATED RIGHT NOW,
IT'S NOT COMPLICATED. KAREN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T NEED TO UNDERSTAND, NICK. THAT'S THE FUN PART.
KAREN!
KAREN. KAREN.
KAREN. SOMEBODY GET A DOCTOR!
(siren wails)
(woman speaking indistinctly over p.a.)
HEY.
HEY.
HOW YOU FEELIN'?
A LITTLE EMPTY.
BUT ASIDE FROM THAT, I'M...
RIGHT AS RAIN.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
I SHOULD'VE LOOKED WHERE I WAS GOING,
YOU KNOW, IN GENERAL.
WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
THE DOCTOR SAID YOU CAN TRY AGAIN SOON...
TO GET PREGNANT, IF YOU WANT TO.
IF I WANT TO?
I WILL--I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO SEE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.
I'D BE WILLING TO TRY.
WITH LISA?
NO, WITH YOU WHEN YOU'RE READY.
AND HOW DOES LISA FEEL ABOUT THAT?
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
LOOK, KAREN, SHE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE KIKI'S MOM,
SHE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE IN MY LIFE, BUT...
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
FOR KEEPS.
MM.
WOW.
OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER.
WHY DID YOU CALL?
I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY SPOKE WITH CHARLES.
DO YOU LOVE HIM, DANA?
(chuckles)
JUST TELL ME, DANA, DO YOU LOVE HIM?
HE'S MY HUSBAND. WE HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT.
BUT WHEN I ASKED YOU TO COME HERE BEHIND HIS BACK,
YOU SAID YES, SO WHAT'S THE TRUTH?
PATRICK...
LOOK, I NEED TO KNOW IF YOU THINK
THAT THERE'S A CHANCE... THAT YOU AND I COULD...
EVER HAVE SOMETHING REAL.
MORE THAN JUST SEX?
MORE THAN JUST SEX.
(sighs) YES.
THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW.
UH, PATRICK, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
YOU KNOW, CHARLES CAN BE DANGEROUS.
DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME.
YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH A MAN WHO WANTS YOU...
ALL OF YOU.
THIS LITTLE ARRANGEMENT THE TWO OF YOU HAD
MIGHT HAVE WORKED FOR A WHILE,
BUT I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT HE UNDERSTANDS ONE THING--
THAT THERE'S GONNA BE A NEW ARRANGEMENT.
JEREMY!
NOLA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HI.
MM.
I FOUND MY BROTHER IN LAUSANNE,
AND THEN MY FATHER TOOK HIM BACK TO SHANGHAI WITH HIM,
YEAH?
I LOVE YOU, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT YOU.
I CAN'T.
MM. MM. OKAY.
UM, THIS IS, UH,
THIS IS--THIS IS INTERESTING.
LISTEN... I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
I AM READY TO BECOME...
MRS. JEREMY DARLING.
(laughs)
MM. MM.
UM, THERE--THERE'S JUST ONE... SMALL...
VERY, VERY SMALL PROBLEM.
MM-HMM.
YEAH?
I KINDA ALREADY GOT MARRIED.
HE'S A GREAT CATCH, ISN'T HE?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
HEY. WELCOME HOME.
HEY.
WELL, I SEE EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL.
BEFORE YOU GET YOUR BOXERS IN A TWIST,
JUST GIVE IT A SECOND.
THAT'S A RUG. PEOPLE WALK ON IT.
REALLY?
WHAT'S ALL THAT?
IT'S GOLD LEAF.
IT'S NICE.
DID YOU HAVE A ROUGH DAY?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
WELL, THEN...
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?
IT'S AN ITALIAN WINE DISPENSING SYSTEM
FOR DRUNKS.
FANCY.
A LITTLE CHANGE IS GOOD, HUH?
IT'S NOT ENTIRELY BAD.
THANKS.
(glasses clink)
DON'T THANK ME.
THANK LETITIA.
LETITIA?
YEAH, THIS WAS ALL HER IDEA.
LETITIA.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
WAKE UP.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
THERE'S STILL ONE QUESTION YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED.
(scoffs) WHAT?
OF ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU FORCED NOLA TO DO,
WHY DID YOU HAVE HER PROSECUTE LETITIA?
IF YOU WANTED TO TAKE DOWN THE DARLINGS,
TRIPP WOULD'VE BEEN A MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE TARGET.
YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT.
(sighs) NICK, I KEEP TELLING YOU,
I'M NOT THE BAD GUY.
YOU'VE CONFESSED TO KIDNAPPING, EXTORTION, CONSPIRACY TO ***.
HOW ARE YOU NOT THE BAD GUY?
(sighs)
YOUR FATHER...
DIGGING UP DIRT ON ME FOR TRIPP,
FOUND OUT I STOLE THE BIOFUEL...
AMONG OTHER THINGS.
HE NEVER STOPPED HOLDING THAT OVER MY HEAD.
HE WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED ME TO PUNISH LETITIA.
BUT WHY?
BY THE TIME LETITIA HAD BEEN ARRESTED, HE WAS--
DEAD?
AFRAID NOT.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
THAT MY FATHER IS ALIVE?
ALIVE...
AND WELL...
AND STILL ONE HELL OF A ***.