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Babette: OOH! WHAT IS THAT?
HOLY SMOKE!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT THAT WAS --
SOME ALARM ON YOUR PANTS OR SOMETHING.
NO, THE PANTS ALARM SOUNDS MORE LIKE A SIREN.
YOU WANT TO ANSWER THAT? SHOULD WE PUT THIS DOWN?
THAT'S OKAY. IF WE PUT IT DOWN, WE WON'T PICK IT UP AGAIN.
OH, THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD,
WHAT WITH THIS ONE HERE AND THE TWO PALMS.
OH, BOY, MOREY'S EYES ARE GONNA POP OUT OF HIS HEAD!
WHY? DOES HE FIND PLANTS PARTICULARLY STARTLING?
A JUNGLE?
UGH! ENOUGH SAID.
HEY, IS THAT YOUR INSIDE PHONE?
I'LL CALL THEM BACK.
SO, ANYWAY, I GOT THIS NEGLIGEE WITH SORT OF A SNAKE PATTERN.
OH, BOY! IS THIS HEAVY!
IT IS. IT IS. I'M SORRY, DOLL.
I WASN'T HOPING THAT YOU WOULD LUG THIS WITH ME.
I WAS PLANNING ON ASKING CHRISTOPHER.
YEAH, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM MUCH LATELY.
WELL, HIS WORK KEEPS HIM BUSY.
WHAT'S HE DO -- SOMETHING WITH COMPUTERS?
YEAH, HE'S A MAN OF MYSTERY.
[ CELL PHONE RINGS ]
AFTER DECADES IN THE BEDROOM, WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
DRESSING UP LIKE A HOWLER MONKEY WOULD BE SUCH A TURN-ON?
I'M GONNA GET THIS, BABETTE.
HELLO?
RORY?
HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG?
OH, NO.
ON MY WAY.
SORRY, BABETTE!
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
MOREY!
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANY, ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
[ CELL PHONE RINGS ]
[ RINGING CONTINUES ]
Woman on P.A.: DR. FORREST, DIAL 182, PLEASE.
EXCUSE ME, MISS. IS THAT YOUR PHONE?
OH. UM, SORRY.
H-HELLO?
Lorelai: Hey. I'm here.
GOOD.
WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm here. I'm in the waiting room.
OKAY. I MUST BE IN THE WRONG WAITING ROOM.
I'M NOT IN THE E.R.
I'M IN THE CARDIAC INTENSIVE-CARE UNIT,
THE C.I.C.U.
THAT'S WHERE I AM, I THINK. FIRST FLOOR?
First floor.
THERE'S A RED STRIPE ON THE FLOOR.
IT'S KIND OF ORANGE HERE.
ORANGE?
Reddish-orange, so maybe.
ORANGEY RED. MAYBE THE LIGHTS MAKE IT LOOK MORE RED.
OH. HI.
HEY. [ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
UM, THEY'RE DOING TESTS, SO THAT'S WHERE HE IS --
BLOOD TESTS AND ANOTHER E.K.G.
THEY DID AN E.K.G. IN THE AMBULANCE,
BUT THEY'RE STILL TRYING TO DETERMINE
HOW MUCH DAMAGE WAS ACTUALLY CAUSED BY THE HEART ATTACK.
BUT THAT'S DEFINITELY WHAT IT WAS.
IT WAS A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION, WHICH IS A HEART ATTACK.
I GUESS THE E.K.G. TELLS THEM
HOW BAD THE BLOCKAGE OF HIS ARTERIES IS
AND WHAT DEGREE OF CORONARY-ARTERY DISEASE HE HAS,
OR C.A.D., AS THEY'RE CALLING IT,
BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, EVERYTHING IS -- WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?
AN ANAGRAM? WHAT'S THE THING WITH THE LETTERS?
ACRONYM.
THE C.A.D., C.I.C.U., THE E.K.G.
COME HERE.
OHH.
MOM, IT WAS AWFUL. HE JUST FELL DOWN.
[ SIGHS ] IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
DR. FORREST, DIAL 182, PLEASE.
HI, CHRIS, IT'S ME AGAIN.
UH... I'M AT THE HOSPITAL NOW,
AND, UM, IT WAS A HEART ATTACK, BUT DAD'S OKAY.
HE'S JUST GETTING SOME TESTS.
SO, UM...WE'RE IN THE C.I.C.U. AT JOHN SKINNER MEDICAL CENTER.
IT'S ON THE FIRST FLOOR,
AND THERE'S A RED STRIPE RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAY.
JUST PLEASE CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS, OKAY? THANKS.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ] WOW.
MM-HMM.
WELL, MY BRAIN WASN'T UP TO CHOOSING BETWEEN THINGS,
SO I GOT ONE OF EVERYTHING.
YOU DO ME PROUD.
SO, GRANDMA'S ON HER WAY.
I DIDN'T TALK TO HER,
BUT THE GIRL AT THE CLUB SAID SHE'S EN ROUTE.
OH, OKAY. AND WHAT ABOUT DAD?
OH, HE'S PROBABLY... EN ROUTE.
HMM. IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
YEAH, I DON'T THINK HE'S GOTTEN MY MESSAGES YET,
BUT HE'LL BE HERE WHEN HE DOES.
OKAY.
WELL... WHAT IS YOUR PLEASURE?
WELL, LET'S SEE.
UH...NOTHING SWEET, I DON'T THINK.
NO? A SALTY THING?
A FLUORESCENT-ORANGE ERSATZ-CHEESE THING?
I GUESS I'M NOT HUNGRY.
YEAH, ME NEITHER.
I KEEP THINKING THIS IS ALL JUST A NIGHTMARE, BUT IT'S NOT.
IT'S A NIGHTMARE BUT NOT A NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE.
I HAVE SHOES ON.
IN MY NIGHTMARES, I NEVER AM WEARING SHOES.
IT'S THE WORST THING IN THE DREAM, TOO.
I COULD BE CHASED BY SNAKES OR IN A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION,
BUT THEN I LOOK DOWN,
AND, "OH, MY GOD! I'M NOT WEARING SHOES!"
I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANS.
PROBABLY MEANS I HAVE A FEAR OF HURTING MY BARE FEET
OR OF LOSING MY SHOES.
HMM. NOT SO FREUDIAN, HUH?
FOR ME, A SNAKE IS JUST A SNAKE,
A SLINGBACK IS JUST A SLINGBACK.
Dr. Goldstein: GILMORE?
HI. I'M DR. GOLDSTEIN. YOU'RE RICHARD GILMORE'S FAMILY?
YES. IS HE OKAY?
HE'S DOING ALL RIGHT.
HE'S CONSCIOUS, COGENT, AND NOT IN SIGNIFICANT PAIN NOW.
GOOD.
WE JUST SENT HIM TO THE CATH LAB TO GET AN ANGIOGRAM.
AFTER THAT, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET A BETTER SENSE
OF WHAT KIND OF BLOCKAGE IS AROUND HIS HEART.
WE'LL FIGURE OUT WHERE TO GO FROM THERE.
WHERE WOULD WE GO?
UH, PARDON?
I MEAN, WHERE -- WHERE WOULD WE GO?
WELL, IF THE BLOCKAGE IS MORE SERIOUS,
WE WILL HAVE TO CONSIDER AN EMERGENCY BYPASS SURGERY.
I PROMISE TO LET YOU KNOW
AS SOON AS WE GET THE RESULTS FROM THE CATH LAB.
NO, NOT WORRIED.
JUST NORMAL AMOUNT OF WORRIED
FOR SOMEONE WHOSE FATHER'S HAD A HEART ATTACK,
BUT NOT EXCESSIVELY WORRIED.
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.
[ SIGHS ]
DR. BATTAGLIA, EXTENSION 198.
HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
OH, HI, MOM.
NO, NOT SINCE HE WAS IN THE E.R.
WHERE IS HE?
THE DOCTOR SAID HE'S IN THE CATH LAB, GETTING AN ANGIOGRAM.
IT'S TRUE.
HE SAID HE WOULD COME BACK WHEN HE HAD THE RESULTS.
I'M EMILY GILMORE. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MY HUSBAND.
WHAT IS YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME?
GILMORE! RICHARD GILMORE!
I'M HIS WIFE, AND I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM NOW.
HE'S GETTING AN ANGIOGRAM.
THE DOCTOR WILL FIND YOU AS SOON AS THEY'RE DONE.
THERE'S NO NEED TO BE CHEERY ABOUT IT.
SOMEONE WITH YOUR CHIPPER PERSONALITY
OUGHT TO BE A WEATHER GIRL OR A PRESCHOOL TEACHER.
I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.
OH, PLEASE. DON'T MOPE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE COMPETENT PEOPLE?
THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
WAS THERE SOME GIANT HOLE THEY ALL FELL INTO
OR A VIRUS THAT STRUCK THEM ALL DOWN,
LEAVING THE MORONS TO SIT BEHIND THE DESKS?
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO SIT DOWN, HAVE A CUP OF TEA?
WHAT I WANT IS THE MOST PERFUNCTORY LEVEL OF COMPETENCE
FROM THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM I INTERACT.
THAT APPARENTLY IS FAR TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR.
YES, SNACKS.
WE HAVE SALTY SNACKS AND SWEET SNACKS
AND SWEET/SALTY HYBRID SNACKS.
EVEN AT THE CLUB, THE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN THAT WORK THERE
MUST HAVE A COMBINED I.Q. OF A GRAPEFRUIT.
YOU ASK THEM FOR A TOWEL,
AND THEY LOOK AT YOU WITH THE MOST VACANT EYES.
I THOUGHT THE GIRL AT RECEPTION WAS BLIND
THE ENTIRE FIRST MONTH SHE WORKED THERE --
BUT VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THE APPLICATION OF EYELINER.
SOUNDS PRETTY.
MY HUSBAND HAS A HEART ATTACK,
AND HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE THEM TO FIND ME?
40 MINUTES.
THE NITWIT PROBABLY GOT LOST
BETWEEN THE FRONT DESK AND THE TENNIS COURTS.
THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A PROBLEM
IF I'D BEEN ALLOWED TO KEEP MY CELL PHONE.
CELL PHONES HAVE BEEN BANNED BECAUSE OF NOISE POLLUTION.
IF THAT'S THE REASON, THEY SHOULD BAN JOHN ABBOTT.
EVERY TIME THAT MAN HITS A BALL, HE GRUNTS LIKE A RUTTING HOG.
HE'S TWICE AS LOUD AS MY CELL PHONE.
THEY WON'T EVEN LET YOU LEAVE YOUR CELL PHONE ON VIBRATE.
WHAT DO THEY THINK WE'RE DOING, MAKING DRUG DEALS?
I DOUBT THAT'S IT.
WHICH, BY THE WAY, ARE ABSOLUTELY, 100% TAKING PLACE.
I SAW DEVORAH INWOOD HANDING CARDUM KELLY A SMALL, BLUE PILL
IN THE LADIES' LOCKER ROOM
WHILE THEY MADE SHADY EYES AT EACH OTHER.
DRUG DEALS AT THE CLUB? I DON'T THINK SO.
ABSOLUTELY. THE WHOLE PLACE IS GOING TO THE DOGS.
OH, AND NOW THEY WANT TO START CHARGING US FOR MEALS,
ON TOP OF THE KING'S RANSOM IN DUES.
IT'S APPALLING.
THE VERY IDEA OF CHARGING EXTRA FOR THE JUNK THEY SERVE THERE.
OH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY IRKS ME?
Lorelai: HMM?
THEY VERY RARELY SERVE FISH.
THAT'S TERRIBLE, ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE FISH.
IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT RICHARD'S HERE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
2 1/2 MONTHS AGO, I READ AN ARTICLE THAT SAID
FISH HAS BEEN SHOWN TO PREVENT HEART ATTACKS AND STROKE
AND HAS INNUMERABLE OTHER HEALTH BENEFITS.
HEY.
IT'S THE OMEGA-3 FATTY ACIDS --
THAT AND IT'S AN INCREDIBLY LEAN SOURCE OF PROTEIN.
SO I HAD THE MAID CUT OUT THE ARTICLE
SO I COULD SHOW IT TO RICHARD.
HE AGREED TO EAT MORE FISH, BUT NOT FOR DINNER.
MY SPINELESS KITCHEN STAFF CAVED.
EMILY, LORELAI, I'M SO SORRY. HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?
WE'RE HOLDING.
LOGAN, IT'S SO GOOD OF YOU TO COME.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? COULD I GET YOU A CUP OF TEA?
I JUST ASKED. SHE DOESN'T WANT TEA.
I WOULD LOVE A CUP OF TEA. THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.
I'M ON A TEA HUNT, THEN.
THAT'S A FINE YOUNG MAN, RORY -- VERY SWEET, VERY CONSIDERATE.
I LIKE HIM.
HE'S ONE OF THE GOOD ONES.
LORELAI, WHERE'S CHRISTOPHER?
OH, HE'S ON HIS WAY.
FROM WHERE?
UM, UH...
DR. GOLDSTEIN.
I'M EMILY GILMORE.
GOOD. I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
THE BLOCKAGE IS WORSE THAN WE'D HOPED.
I THINK THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION --
REALLY THE ONLY COURSE OF ACTION --
IS TO DO AN EMERGENCY BYPASS SURGERY.
OPEN-HEART SURGERY?
LET HIM FINISH, LORELAI.
WE'D LIKE TO GO INTO SURGERY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
NOW WOULD BE THE TIME IF YOU'D LIKE TO VISIT HIM.
YEAH, WE'D LIKE TO SEE HIM.
IF YOU'LL FOLLOW ME PLEASE.
FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE.
ARE YOU THE ONE WHO WILL BE PERFORMING THE SURGERY?
YES, ALONG WITH A TEAM. I'LL BE THE CHIEF SURGEON.
WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
I'M SORRY?
MOM.
NO, IT'S OKAY. YES, I GOT MY B.A. AT YALE.
I WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL AT HARVARD.
I DID MY RESIDENCY AT COLUMBIA PRESBYTERIAN
BEFORE I BECAME CHIEF OF CARDIOTHORACIC SURGERY HERE.
SEE WHAT?
HERE WE ARE. I'LL LET YOU VISIT.
A NURSE WILL BE BY TO BEGIN PREPPING RICHARD FOR SURGERY.
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
AND I WATCHED HIS HANDS CLOSELY. THEY'RE STEADY AS A STATUE'S.
OH, AND, RICHARD, HE'S YALE UNDERGRAD,
HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL.
YOU DON'T SAY.
WELL, IF HE DOES A GOOD JOB, I'LL FORGET THE HARVARD PART.
I'LL WRITE THAT OFF AS A YOUTHFUL INDISCRETION.
THIS ROOM IS RATHER INTIMATE.
IT'S JUST FINE, EMILY. I PROMISE YOU.
NOW, RORY, I'M SORRY I GAVE YOU A SCARE IN CLASS TODAY.
DON'T BE SILLY. I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY.
YOU'RE GONNA BE MORE OKAY AFTER THE SURGERY.
Lorelai: ARE YOU OKAY, DAD?
HOW ARE YOU FEELING, CONSIDERING EVERYTHING? YOU LOOK OKAY.
ALL IN ALL, I THINK I'D RATHER BE IN PHILADELPHIA.
[ CHUCKLES ] RONALD REAGAN.
QUOTING W.C. FIELDS.
IT WOULD BE GREAT NOW.
WINTER IS A GREAT TIME TO SEE THE LIBERTY BELL
AND THE CREAM CHEESE.
THAT'S ALL I GOT ON PHILADELPHIA.
LORELAI.
CHEESESTEAKS -- THE PHILLY CHEESESTEAKS.
RICHARD, IS YOUR NECK GETTING ENOUGH SUPPORT?
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED ANOTHER PILLOW.
I THINK IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I GOT IT, MOM.
I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT.
I'M JUST HANDING YOU A PILLOW.
I DON'T WANT THAT PILLOW. IT DOESN'T HAVE A PILLOWCASE.
IT DOES. THIS IS A PILLOWCASE.
YES, IT HAS ONE PILLOWCASE.
IT SHOULD HAVE TWO SO THE PILLOW IS NEVER EXPOSED.
NOW I HAVE TO RING FOR A PILLOW.
WE HAVE A PILLOW RIGHT HERE.
TUCSON.
WHAT?
TUCSON IS EXTREMELY HOT,
AND IT HAS A DRY CLIMATE THAT DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME,
AND I REALLY DON'T THINK MUCH OF THE WAY THEY DRESS OUT THERE.
I HAVE A DEEP AVERSION TO CACTI OF ALL KINDS.
AND YET TUCSON IS A PLACE WHERE I THINK I WOULD RATHER BE.
ANYWHERE BUT HERE, RIGHT, DAD?
ALTHOUGH, IT'S AWFULLY DRY.
AND SO HOT.
YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THE FASHION --
PONCHOS AND TURQUOISE.
OH, AND MEN IN SANDALS. SPARE ME.
SO, HOW'S IT GOING THERE, ZACH?
ACES.
PASTRAMI ON RYE -- MUSTARD, NO MAYO.
CHEESEBURGER -- SWISS, DOUBLE PICKLES, FRIES.
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE, JUST HOLLER.
MY NAME'S ZACH, AND, UH...I'LL BE YOUR WAITER.
YEAH.
I WAS NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO FILLING IN FOR LANE.
SHE'S LIKE, "IT'S EITHER THIS,
OR YOU FILL IN DURING THE WHOLE CHILDBIRTH DEAL."
WHICH WOULD PROBABLY BE A BIT MORE DIFFICULT.
HANDING OUT FOOD IS CAKE
COMPARED TO HAVING A HUMAN BEING COME OUT OF YOU -- NO OFFENSE.
NONE TAKEN. YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB.
OH, MAN, IT'S BEEN GREAT.
I MEAN, IT'S BEEN ENLIGHTENING.
IN THE PAST, I WAS THE ONE AT THE TABLE,
AND NOW I'M THE ONE WITH THE NOTEPAD AND PENCIL.
IT'S COOL.
NO KIDDING.
YOU KNOW WHAT WAS FREAKING ME OUT BEFORE?
I'M ABOUT TO HAND PEOPLE THE FOOD THEY'RE GOING TO EAT,
AND I COULD DO ANYTHING TO IT, AND THEY WOULD HAVE NO IDEA.
THEY WOULD JUST EAT IT.
NOT THAT I WOULD, OF COURSE, BUT IT'S JUST INTENSE.
PLUS, EVERYTHING SMELLS SO GOOD.
I CAN SEE WHY LANE DIGS THIS JOB.
WELL, YOUR ENTHUSIASM IS APPRECIATED.
RIGHT ON. HEY, YOU HAVE ANOTHER RAG?
COOL.
HEY, LUKE?
HEY, BABETTE. WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
YOU STILL STOCKING THE JUNGLE WITH SNACKS,
WHATEVER THAT MEANS?
LUKE, I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
OR, I DON'T KNOW IF I GOT TO, BUT I WANT TO.
IT'S NOT THAT I WANT TO LIKE IT'S A GOOD THING.
LORELAI'S DAD HAD A HEART ATTACK.
OH, MY GOD.
RORY CALLED LORELAI. I WAS THERE.
IS HE OKAY?
WELL, HE'S NOT -- HE'S OKAY...I THINK...RIGHT NOW.
THEY'RE AT JOHN SKINNER, AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
OH, MY GOD.
I-I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT TO KNOW.
YEAH, YEAH, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, I'M GONNA GO.
YEAH. THANKS.
YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE?
WORKING HERE IS LIKE HAVING A BACKSTAGE PASS AT A SHOW.
IT'S ALL-ACCESS, MAN.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
HEY, IT'S ME AGAIN.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GOT MY OTHER MESSAGE.
UH...WE'RE STILL HERE AT THE HOSPITAL,
AND, UH... DAD'S GONNA HAVE SURGERY.
HE'S HAVING A CORONARY BYPASS PRETTY SOON.
I JUST CAME FROM HIS ROOM,
AND, UM...HE DOESN'T LOOK BAD, YOU KNOW?
HE LOOKS OKAY, CONSIDERING.
BUT, UH... HE'S LYING DOWN.
HE JUST -- JUST LOOKS SO SMALL.
IT JUST MADE ME THINK OF THIS TIME.
THERE WAS A TREE IN OUR YARD I WOULD ALWAYS CLIMB,
AND ONE DAY, I CLIMBED UP REALLY, REALLY HIGH.
DAD CAME HOME FROM WORK. I WATCHED HIM GO INTO THE HOUSE.
I THOUGHT, "HE LOOKS SO SMALL."
IT WAS SO STRANGE TO SEE HIM LOOK LIKE THAT.
UM... [ SIGHS ]
ANYWAY, I SHOULD GO, BUT, UH... CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS, OKAY?
BYE.
HELLO?
HOW ARE YOU? HOW IS EVERYTHING? WHAT CAN I DO?
IT'S OKAY. I'M OKAY.
DAD HAD A HEART ATTACK, AND HE'S GONNA HAVE SURGERY.
BUT IT'S A PRETTY COMMON OPERATION, SO...
AND HOW ARE YOU?
I'm okay, considering.
WHAT CAN I DO?
OH, NOTHING, HON. I'M FINE.
CAN I SEND YOU ANYTHING?
I MADE LEMON BARS AND, OOH, PECAN SQUARES,
AND I'M SENDING THEM OVER WITH KATIE RIGHT NOW.
OH, THAT WAS SO SWEET.
IS THAT LORELAI?
YES. HER DAD'S IN SURGERY, BUT HE'S FINE.
Fine, thanks.
MICHEL SAYS HELLO.
TELL MICHEL I SAID HELLO.
SHE SAYS HELLO.
I AM THINKING OF HER FATHER AND WISHING HIM WELL.
HE'S THINKING OF YOUR FATHER AND WISHING HIM WELL.
TELL MICHEL "THANK YOU."
SHE SAYS "THANK YOU."
THE ZIMMERMANS IN ROOM 4 ARE NOT A MARRIED COUPLE,
AS WE HAD THOUGHT, BUT A BROTHER AND A SISTER.
I'M NOT TELLING LORELAI THAT. SHE'S IN A HOSPITAL.
THEY REQUESTED A ROLLAWAY BED, AND WE DO NOT HAVE ANY LEFT.
I AM NOT TALKING TO LORELAI ABOUT ROLLAWAY BEDS.
THE ZIMMERMANS ARE DEMANDING, VERY BIG, AND THEY NEED A BED!
THE MURRAYS ARE CHECKING OUT AT 3:00.
HE CAN USE THE BED FROM THEIR ROOM.
YOU CAN TAKE THE ROLLAWAY BED FROM THE MURRAYS.
THEY'RE CHECKING OUT AT 3:00.
AHH! VERY GOOD. TELL HER "THANK YOU."
HE SAYS "THANK YOU"
AND APOLOGIZES FOR BEING SUCH A PEST.
TELL HER I MISS HER HERE VERY, VERY MUCH!
Emily: THEN DON'T STICK US IN THE BACK CORNER NEXT TIME.
YOU ABSOLUTELY DID, ANTHONY.
I WAS SO CLOSE TO THE KITCHEN,
I COULD HAVE GOTTEN MY OWN PLATE WITHOUT STANDING UP,
JUST STRETCHED OUT MY ARM LIKE RUBBERMAN, AND...
[ CHUCKLES ] NO, NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.
SO, TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TONIGHT?
SEA SCALLOPS?
OH, YOU'RE TORTURING ME, ANTHONY, TORTURING ME.
WELL, GIVE MY LOVE TO YOUR WIFE.
OH, I WILL.
OH, JUST ONE OF THOSE LAST-MINUTE BUSINESS TRIPS.
ALL RIGHT, THEN. BYE-BYE.
SOMEBODY'S VERY CHIPPER ON THE PHONE.
SOMEBODY SHOULD CONSIDER A CAREER AS A WEATHER GIRL.
I'VE SPENT YEARS CULTIVATING MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH THE MAITRE D' AT PERSEPHONE'S.
I'M HARDLY ABOUT TO LET IT GO DOWN THE DRAIN IN ONE NIGHT.
"CALL PERSEPHONE'S" -- DONE.
WE'RE MISSING THE SEA SCALLOPS.
PERSEPHONE'S DOES THE MOST WONDERFUL JOB WITH SEAFOOD.
I WISH WE'D EATEN THERE MORE OFTEN.
IT'S SUCH A SHAME.
THEY MAKE A CEDAR-PLANK SALMON THAT IS --
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU LIKE SALMON.
NO, BUT I LOVE A NICE, JUICY CEDAR PLANK.
SALMON IS ONE OF THE BEST FISH IN TERMS OF THE OMEGA-3s.
IT'S MARVELOUS FOR YOU, AND IT MAKES YOUR SKIN GLOW.
BEAUTY TIPS ARE NOT REALLY BIG
ON MY LIST OF PRIORITIES RIGHT NOW, MOM.
Rory: SO I TELL PARIS,
"I DON'T CARE IF IT WOULD INCREASE MY CHANCES
"OF GETTING A GRANT TO STUDY IN RUSSIA.
"I AM NOT WILLING
TO PRETEND TO BE AN ACCOMPLISHED RHYTHMIC GYMNAST."
HOW DO YOU PRETEND TO BE A RHYTHMIC GYMNAST, ANYWAY?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
DO YOU WHIRL RIBBONS? BALANCE A BALL ON YOUR NOSE?
SHE'S TAKING OUR IMPENDING GRADUATION
WITH A PINCH OF TOTAL INSANITY.
NAH.
IT'S PRACTICALLY BUZZING OFF THE TABLE. I DON'T MIND.
I'LL TEXT THEM BACK IN A MINUTE.
BUT YOU NEED TO --
I DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING BUT BE RIGHT HERE WITH YOU.
WELL, ARE YOU SURE?
AREN'T PEOPLE GONNA BE MAD YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?
THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM.
YOU KNOW WHO'S GONNA BE MAD AT ME? PARIS.
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, I'M MISSING A G.R.E. PREP COURSE
AND TEA WITH THE BRANFORD LIBRARIAN.
I IMAGINE SHE'LL UNDERSTAND.
PARIS?
YOU BETTER START BALANCING A BALL ON YOUR NOSE.
Emily: I NEED TO CANCEL RICHARD'S TENNIS MATCH.
I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO MY BOOK CLUB TOMORROW.
JUST AS WELL -- I HAVEN'T EVEN CRACKED THE COVER.
WHATEVER GIVES SUZANNA SHAW THE IDEA THAT THE REST OF US
SHARE HER BARBARIC INTEREST IN CORMAC McCARTHY IS BEYOND ME.
LET'S SEE. I NEED TO RETURN THE DEAN'S CALL, AND --
OH, NO. NOT HIM AGAIN. WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
HEY. I WAS JUST IN THE DINER.
BABETTE CAME AND TOLD ME YOUR DAD HAD A HEART ATTACK.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING.
I WALKED RIGHT OUT THE DINER AND DROVE STRAIGHT HERE.
NOW I REALIZE I MIGHT BE IN THE WAY,
BUT IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO, I WANT TO DO IT.
UH...WELL --
HEY, RORY, LOGAN.
WANT SOME COFFEE?
NO, I'M OKAY. THANKS VERY MUCH.
LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE ANY KIND OF WEIRDNESS HERE.
I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL --
CHRISTOPHER ISN'T HERE, BUT HE WILL BE ANY SECOND, SO...
THANKS.
THERE'S JUST NOT MUCH FOR YOU TO DO.
OH, YES, THERE IS, ABSOLUTELY.
YOU CAN DRIVE TO THE YALE CAMPUS AND PICK UP RICHARD'S CAR.
MOM, HE CAN'T DO THAT.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.
I'M NOT SURE WHERE IT'S PARKED,
BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE HARD TO FIND.
CHECK THE FACULTY LOT AND WHEREVER THEY HAVE PARKING.
IT'S A 2006 JAGUAR. IT'S GREEN.
OH, AND I THINK IT'S A LITTLE LOW ON GAS.
IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND FILLING THE TANK, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
SURE.
I'LL GET THE KEY.
IS HE SUPPOSED TO DRIVE THE CAR TO THE HOUSE,
THEN TAKE A CAB TO YALE TO GET HIS TRUCK?
I HAVE NO OBJECTION TO THAT.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.
FILL IT WITH PREMIUM,
NOT WHATEVER SLUDGE THEY TRY TO PASS OFF AS REGULAR.
YOU DO KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A EUROPEAN CAR, DON'T YOU?
ABSOLUTELY. DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S NOTHING TO YANK. IT'S A JAGUAR, NOT A LAWN MOWER.
OH, MY GOD!
LEAVE THE KEY WITH SOLEDAD.
AND...HERE. YOU CAN KEEP THE CHANGE.
EMILY, REALLY, IT'S MY PLEASURE.
IF YOU INSIST.
IF YOU DON'T MIND TERRIBLY, I NEED SOMEONE TO MAKE SURE
THAT THE PATH TO THE FRONT DOOR IS SHOVELED.
MOTHER, STOP.
HELLO?
OH, HELLO. YOU GOT MY MESSAGE ABOUT THE FISH.
SORRY. WE'RE ALL A LITTLE...
SHE READ ABOUT HOW FISH CAN PREVENT HEART ATTACKS.
NOW SHE THINKS IT'S THE KEY TO EVERYTHING.
WELL, FISH IS GOOD.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, I SHOULD GET GOING.
OKAY. WELL, THANKS.
YES! GOODBYE!
ANOTHER INCOMPETENT.
GET LUKE BACK. I NEED HIM TO BRING A CHECK FOR THE FISH MAN.
I'M NOT. HE'S DONE ENOUGH ALREADY.
RESCHEDULE THE FISH MAN FOR LATER IN THE WEEK.
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE FISH RIGHT NOW?
LOGAN AND I CAN MEET THE FISH MAN IF YOU WANT.
THAT WOULD BE MARVELOUS.
I WANT TO GET SOME OF GRANDPA'S STUFF
SO HE HAS IT WHEN HE WAKES UP.
I'LL DO THAT.
YOU PAY THE FISH MAN, AND I'LL GET GRANDPA'S STUFF.
THAT'S SILLY. THEY'RE IN THE SAME PLACE.
BUT THEN WE'LL BOTH HAVE A JOB.
GOING TO GRANDPA'S IS ONE JOB.
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO LOOK AFTER GRANDMA.
FINE.
IF YOU REALLY WANT --
NO, SHE'S MY MOTHER.
WELL, YOU'RE MY MOTHER.
EXACTLY. IT'S A TANGLED WEB.
HERE YOU GO, LOGAN.
HAVE HIM PUT THE SALMON, SWORDFISH,
KING MACKEREL, AND TUNA IN THE DOWNSTAIRS FREEZER
AND THE TROUT, SEA BASS, SNAPPER, AND BLUEFISH
IN THE BUTLER'S PANTRY.
SALMON, SWORDFISH, KING MACKEREL, TUNA DOWNSTAIRS.
TROUT, SEA BASS, SNAPPER, BLUEFISH UPSTAIRS.
IF YOU RODE IN THE AMBULANCE, YOU AND I DON'T HAVE A CAR HERE.
TAKE IT BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND. LEVEL 3.
THANKS. BYE.
BYE. I'LL BE HERE DOING MY JOB.
HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE A CAR?
I CAME BY CHOPPER.
CHOPPER MOTORCYCLE OR CHOPPER HELICOPTER?
HELICOPTER.
YEP.
OH, I DO NEED TO CALL QUENTIN.
I WONDER IF THEY HAVE A FAX MACHINE HERE.
AND I'M HUNGRY. ARE YOU HUNGRY?
PROBABLY. I SHOULD BE. DON'T FEEL HUNGRY.
WE SHOULD GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
FIRST, I WANT TO SEE IF THOSE ADDLED NURSES
WILL ALLOW ME TO USE THEIR FAX MACHINE.
[ SIGHS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
Lorelai: Hello?
IT'S ME -- BABETTE. HOW YOU DOING, SWEETIE?
Oh, hey. I'm okay.
WHAT'S THE NEWS WITH YOUR DAD?
HE'S IN SURGERY, BUT WE THINK HE'S GONNA BE OKAY.
OH, I'M SURE. DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING.
HE'S A VERY VITAL MAN -- LOTS OF CHI, YOU KNOW?
OH...REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW YOU NOTICED HIS CHI.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PRANA, CHI, LIFE FORCE --
WHATEVER YOU CALL IT, YOUR DADDY'S GOT IT IN SPADES.
SEXY MEN LIKE HIM OFTEN DO.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM SO SEXY. THEY'RE RIPE WITH LIFE.
O-KAY.
He's gonna be fine.
THANKS, BABETTE.
HE'S LIKE WARREN BEATTY, YOUR DAD -- OR SEAN CONNERY
OR -- WHO'S THAT ONE I ALWAYS FOUND SO SEXY?
THE EVIL POLITICIAN WITH THE GLASSES --
HENRY KISSINGER!
I KNOW HIM.
You might not agree with his politics.
YOU MIGHT HAVE LIVED THROUGH VIETNAM AND THOUGHT,
"THAT MAN IS THE DEVIL," BUT YOU CAN'T DENY HE'S SEXY.
YOU KNOW WHY? CHI.
I GET IT. SO, HOW'S PAUL ANKA?
Oh, yeah, he's great, just great.
WHAT'S WRONG?
I don't want to bother you.
GO AHEAD.
OH, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
IT'S JUST...
I'M AFRAID HIS BLADDER'S GONNA EXPLODE.
I CAN'T GET HIM TO COME WITH ME.
HE NEEDS TO RELIEVE HIMSELF, BUT IT'S A NO-GO.
HE'S A NO-GO.
HE'S AFRAID OF THE PORCH STEPS. JUST LAY SOMETHING DOWN FOR HIM.
Yeah.
WOW! YEAH, THAT WORKED GREAT. WOW.
HE'S GOT SOME CHI OF HIS OWN, THIS ONE.
OOH. ONLY PROBLEM IS...
Nothing, nothing.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE COLD WITHOUT MY COAT, THAT'S ALL.
NOT YOUR CONCERN.
SO, SWEETIE, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE, YOU'LL CALL ME?
Okay, I'll call you.
OKAY. GIVE MY LOVE TO YOUR FATHER.
I WILL, BABETTE. HEY, THANKS FOR CALLING.
Oh, sure thing, hon. Bye.
Logan: UH-HUH, RIGHT.
NO, IT'S NOT A PROBLEM. IT'S PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE.
TAKE A RIGHT ON SYCAMORE, LEFT ONTO OLD SAWBROOK, AND THEN...
THAT'S RIGHT.
NO, I MEAN A LEFT INTO THE DRIVEWAY.
I MEAN THAT'S CORRECT -- MAKING A LEFT.
I MEAN, A LEFT IS THE CORRECT CHOICE.
RIGHT.
THAT'S CORRECT, I MEAN.
OKAY, GREAT. GREAT. WE'LL BE HERE. SEE YOU SOON.
SOUNDS LIKE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO
GOT NOTHING ON YOU AND THE FISH MAN.
YOU LIKED THE "RIGHT/RIGHT" BUSINESS?
IT COULD USE POLISH,
BUT ME AND THE FISH MAN HAVE PLANS TO BRING BACK VAUDEVILLE.
THE FISH MAN AND LOGAN.
HE CAN JUGGLE.
THE SNOW DELAYED HIM, BUT HE SHOULD BE HERE IN 15 MINUTES.
I THINK YOUR BlackBerry IS GOING TO EXPLODE.
IT'S BUSINESS STUFF -- NOTHING THAT CAN'T KEEP.
BUSINESS STUFF, HUH?
BUSINESS STUFF THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE CHOPPER YOU FLEW IN ON?
WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW.
I'M INTERESTED. I WANT TO KNOW.
ALSO, I COULD REALLY USE THE DISTRACTION.
BESIDES, I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVEN'T STOLEN A CHOPPER.
IT WAS LOANED TO ME BY A HEDGE-FUND MANAGER.
OHH, WELL...
I WAS AT HIS COUNTRY HOME IN MONTAUK WHEN YOU CALLED,
AND HE JUST...
PRETTY MUCH.
I THINK LOANING SOMEONE YOUR CHOPPER
IS A SIGN OF TRUST IN MANY CULTURES.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD SIGN.
YEAH, I THINK IT IS A GOOD SIGN.
WHAT DO YOU NEED FUNDING FOR? JUST TELL ME SOMETHING.
I DON'T WANT TO BE NOSY, BUT I'M REALLY INTERESTED.
COME ON. COME ON.
OKAY, YOU ASKED FOR IT, SO HERE IT GOES.
I WANT TO BUY ANOTHER INTERNET COMPANY.
IT'S A WEB-BASED, INTERACTIVE-MEDIA PLATFORM.
THIS GUY IN AUSTIN CREATED IT.
IT'S AMAZING, FAST, AND SO EASY TO USE, EVEN I CAN USE IT.
THE IDEA IS TO BUILD ON THE WEB PRESENCE WE HAVE
AND TURN INTO A USER-GENERATED MEDIA HUB
WHERE THE MEMBERS CAN SHARE VIDEOS, ARTICLES, IDEAS.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA.
IT'S A DEAL, TOO.
THE GUY WHO CREATED THIS IS SUCH A COMPUTER GEEK,
HE JUST WANTS TO GET STARTED ON HIS NEXT PROJECT,
SO HE'S WILLING TO SELL FOR ONLY $5 MILLION.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
BUT IN THIS WORLD, THAT'S RELATIVELY CHEAP.
CHAD HURLEY AND STEVE CHEN SOLD YouTube FOR $1.65 BILLION,
AND WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH
MARK ZUCKERBERG WILL GET FOR FACEBOOK?
YEAH, COMPARATIVELY.
I'M PLANNING ON PUTTING UP $3 MILLION OF MY OWN MONEY.
I'M TRYING TO LINE UP A FUND TO KICK IN THE OTHER $2 MILLION.
YOU HAVE $3 MILLION?
YEAH, IN MY TRUST FUND.
HAVEN'T YOU ASKED YOUR DAD?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE WORKING FOR HIM.
I PITCHED HIM THE IDEA, AND HE REJECTED IT.
I HAVE TO MOVE FAST BEFORE ONE OF THE BIG-DOG COMPANIES
SNIFF ME OUT AND TRY TO OUTBID ME.
YOU STILL WANT TO TAKE THIS CHESS THING?
YEAH, WE SHOULD.
WELL, YOU SOUND REALLY EXCITED.
I AM. IT'S EXCITING.
THE ECONOMIES OF SCALE ARE INCREDIBLE.
I NEED TO PROVE OUT THE BUSINESS MODEL FIRST.
AND THE BARRIERS TO SWITCHING FOR YOUR CURRENT CLIENTELE
WILL PROBABLY INCREASE, TOO.
THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.
THE OPPORTUNITY COST OF NOT DOING IT
IS THAT SOMEBODY ELSE WILL, AND THE BARRIERS TO SWITCHING --
WHAT?
ARE YOU USING BUSINESS-SPEAK? ARE WE SPEAKING BUSINESSES?
I BELIEVE WE ARE.
COLOR ME IMPRESSED.
I TAKE ECONOMICS.
YEAH.
WE LEARNED ABOUT IDEAL BUSINESS THEORY LAST SEMESTER.
I'M REALLY ENJOYING HIS CLASS. I'VE LEARNED A LOT.
HE'S A REALLY GOOD TEACHER, WHICH ISN'T A GIVEN.
SOME SMART PEOPLE
CAN'T TRANSLATE THEIR SMARTS TO OTHER PEOPLE,
BUT HE IS REALLY GOOD AT EXPLAINING THINGS,
AND HE MAKES YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE.
NEXT WEEK, WE'RE GONNA SPLIT UP INTO 10 GROUPS,
AND EACH OF US HAVE TO CREATE A BUSINESS PLAN.
LIKE "THE APPRENTICE."
HE'S GONNA BE LIKE DONALD TRUMP, WHICH IS RIDICULOUS.
ACTUALLY, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA GO ON NEXT WEEK,
DO WE?
I GUESS NOT.
BUT IT'S GOOD -- YOU GOT HIM A BUNCH OF STUFF TO READ.
I CAN HARDLY TELL WHAT ANYTHING IS.
LOOK AT THAT PALE, MISSHAPEN THING.
IS THAT A SANDWICH OR A PIECE OF CHICKEN?
MAYBE IT'S A CHICKEN SANDWICH.
IT'S QUICHE.
THAT BLOBBY, WHITE THING IS SUPPOSEDLY QUICHE LORRAINE?
IT DOESN'T SAY "QUICHE LORRAINE."
MAYBE IT'S "QUICHE BLOBBY WHITE THING."
THE AUDACITY OF CHARGING MONEY FOR THIS.
IT'S HOSPITAL FOOD.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
IT'S A CLICHé.
WHAT IS?
HOSPITAL FOOD BEING BAD.
EXACTLY.
WHAT?
IT'S A CLICHé FOR A REASON.
CLICHéS ARE TRUE THINGS THAT PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF BEING TRUE.
LIKE, "A PENNY SAVED IS A PENNY EARNED."
IT IS, INVESTED WISELY.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A CLICHé, MOM.
OF COURSE IT'S A CLICHé.
THAT'S AN OVERUSED SAYING,
LIKE "I'M SWEATING BULLETS" OR "IT'S AS COLD AS ICE."
SOME OVERUSED SAYINGS ARE TRUE,
LIKE "CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD."
"MOTHER KNOWS BEST."
"IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY,
DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL."
[ CELL PHONE RINGS ]
HELLO?
OH, QUENTIN, HELLO.
NO, I'M NOT BUSY AT ALL. YOU HAVEN'T INTERRUPTED A THING.
THANK YOU FOR RETURNING MY CALL SO PROMPTLY.
OH, THAT'S VERY KIND, QUENTIN.
THAT'S RIGHT. YES.
OH, I'M FINE, THANK YOU.
LISTEN, IT'S BEEN A WHILE
SINCE I'VE SEEN SOME OF THE PAPERWORK.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD FAX SOME THINGS TO THE HOSPITAL.
I THINK I HAVE ACCESS TO A MACHINE.
THE FIRST THING I'D LIKE YOU TO FAX IS HIS WILL.
THAT'S RIGHT --
BOTH THE STANDARD WILL AND THE LIVING WILL.
WELL, I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THE DNR PROVISIONS HE ESTABLISHED.
OH, THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL. THANK YOU, QUENTIN.
TALK TO YOU SOON. BYE.
MOM, WHAT WAS THAT?
DO WE LIKE THIS TABLE,
OR IS IT TOO CLOSE TO THAT MAN WITH THE I.V.?
SHOULDN'T THERE BE A SEPARATE DINING AREA FOR SICK PEOPLE?
MOTHER, YOU'RE GETTING DAD'S WILL FAXED HERE?
YES.
WHY? YOU NEED TO READ IT RIGHT NOW?
YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE HE LEFT YOU THE MERCEDES AND THE JAG?
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. I'M BEING PRAGMATIC.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE.
YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
[ Laughing ] YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
HERE'S THIS.
I ALSO FOUND A BUNCH OF HIS ALBUMS --
BOBBY SHORT SINGING COLE PORTER,
A COUPLE OF HIS GERSHWIN ONES --
"RHAPSODY IN BLUE" AND "AN AMERICAN IN PARIS" --
A COUPLE OF SCOTT JOPLIN RECORDS,
ALTHOUGH SCOTT JOPLIN
MIGHT BE A LITTLE ZAZZLY FOR THE HOSPITAL.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR POLICY ABOUT RAGTIME IS.
OH, I ALSO FOUND "CHUCK BERRY AT THE FILLMORE,"
WHICH I GAVE HIM FOR HIS 60th BIRTHDAY.
ALSO, A LITTLE SCHUBERT AND DEBUSSY,
WHICH SHOULD BE NICE AND RELAXING.
I DIDN'T FIND THE BING CROSBY ALBUM I WANTED.
IT'S WITH HIS SON GARY.
IT'S THIS SONG CALLED
"WHEN YOU AND I WERE YOUNG, MAGGIE BLUES."
GRANDPA SINGS ALONG
AND SAYS, "I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A CROONER."
YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU LOOK?
I LOOKED IN TWO CLOSETS AND UNDER A COUCH,
AND ALL I FOUND WAS THE SLEEVE.
I COULD TAKE IT FOR DECORATION, BUT IT MIGHT UNDERLINE
THE FACT THAT WE DON'T HAVE "MAGGIE BLUES."
YEAH?
THE FISH MAN SUCCESSFULLY UNLOADED ALL THE FISH
PER YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S REQUEST.
EVERYTHING WORKED OUT WITH THE CHECK?
YEP, THE FISH MAN WAS HAPPY. I LAUGHED AT HIS C.O.D. JOKE.
HMM?
C-O-D -- COD.
OHH.
YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT.
HMM. THAT FISH MAN, HE'S A FUNNY ONE.
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. I'M HARDY TO HIS LAUREL.
WE HAVE A DECK OF CARDS, WE HAVE THE CHESSBOARD.
WE HAVE WHAT I THINK IS A BACKGAMMON SET.
I GRABBED GRANDMA A PAIR OF PANTS
BECAUSE I WANTED HER TO BE COMFORTABLE,
BUT THEN I THOUGHT THAT MIGHT BE OFFENSIVE TO HER.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
THEN I GRABBED A SKIRT,
BUT THAT OPENED UP THE WHOLE STOCKINGS, PANTYHOSE,
"GOING THROUGH MY GRANDMA'S UNDERWEAR DRAWER" CAN OF WORMS.
EACH OUTFIT NEEDS A DIFFERENT TOP AND A PAIR OF SHOES.
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO RIVALS IMELDA MARCOS?
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
NO BIPED NEEDS THAT MANY PAIRS OF SHOES.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I WANTED TO GRAB?
BY GRANDPA'S BED, THERE IS A BOOKMARKED COPY
OF "A MONETARY HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES."
BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T LOVE MILTON FRIEDMAN?
MILTON FRIEDMAN'S ON THE SYLLABUS, SO MAYBE HE'D WANT IT.
WHAT'S THAT?
BING CROSBY AND GARY CROSBY.
OH, NO WAY!
IT WAS IN THE WRONG SLEEVE.
HE CAN CROON WITH "MAGGIE BLUES."
OH, PERFECT.
I'M GONNA START LOADING THIS STUFF IN THE CAR.
OKAY.
LOGAN?
YES?
THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING.
OF COURSE. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME.
THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE I'D RATHER BE.
THERE YOU ARE. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE.
[ SIGHS ] OH, YEAH?
I JUST GOT THESE FAXED, AND --
PLEASE, CAN WE DROP THIS?
I NEED TO VERIFY YOUR SOCIAL-SECURITY NUMBER.
I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU MY SOCIAL-SECURITY NUMBER.
HELP ME PICK OUT A GIFT FOR DAD.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO, STEAL YOUR IDENTITY?
I'VE JUST HAD ENOUGH OF TALKING ABOUT
SOCIAL SECURITIES AND WILLS, OKAY?
YOUR FATHER'S LAWYER FAXED THESE FROM THE BANK,
AND I NEED YOUR SOCIAL-SECURITY NUMBER.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
WHAT WOULD I BE KIDDING ABOUT?
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE DAD IS DEAD. DAD IS NOT DEAD.
SIX YEARS AGO, WHEN YOUR FATHER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL,
WE WERE COMPLETELY UNPREPARED,
AND WE AGREED TO NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN.
WE MADE A PLAN, AND I AM SIMPLY FOLLOWING THROUGH ON THE PLAN.
YOUR PLAN WAS TO CHAT UP PERSEPHONE'S
TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T LOSE YOUR SPECIAL TABLE
AND TO ORDER TONS OF SWORDFISH AND SALMON
TO KEEP YOUR SKIN GLOWING
AND TO HAPPILY DISCUSS WITH QUENTIN
WHETHER OR NOT DAD SHOULD BE RESUSCITATED?
THESE ARE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DEALT WITH.
WHAT HAS TO BE DEALT WITH IS THAT DAD COULD BE DYING.
WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH IS PHONE CALLS AND A CHECKLIST.
YOU'RE NOT HIS SECRETARY. YOU'RE HIS WIFE.
AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BEING A WIFE?
YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR WHAT -- 40 DAYS? THAT'S NOTHING.
YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER 40 YEARS.
FOR 2/3 OF MY LIFE, I HAVE BEEN THE WIFE OF RICHARD GILMORE.
I RUN HIS HOUSEHOLD. I PLAN HIS MEALS.
I BUY HIS CLOTHES, ENTERTAIN HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES.
WHEN HE LOSES HIS READING GLASSES, I FIND THEM.
WHEN HE WANTS A NIGHTCAP. I MAKE IT FOR HIM.
IF HE CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF A COLLEAGUE'S WIFE,
I WHISPER IT IN HIS EAR.
THAT'S WHAT I DO -- I TAKE CARE OF HIM.
THAT'S MY JOB. THAT'S WHO I AM.
IF I COULD BE PERFORMING HIS SURGERY, I WOULD BE,
BUT I CAN'T -- IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS.
[ Voice breaking ] IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS,
AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO BUT WAIT.
I COULD LOSE HIM, LORELAI.
HE'S MY WHOLE LIFE, AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO!
MOM.
I'M SORRY. THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE.
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S FINE.
[ SNIFFLES ] OH, GOD, I'M A MESS.
[ SNIFFLES ]
DID YOU JUST TAKE THOSE?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. PAY FOR IT LATER.
[ SIGHS ]
JUST A FEW MORE?
MM-HMM. THEY'RE GOOD, RIGHT?
THEY STICK IN YOUR TEETH.
BUT, YES, THEY ARE GOOD.
ARE THERE ANY MORE?
ARE YOU KIDDING? THERE'S A TON.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
I WONDER WHY THEY CALL THEM "DUDS."
I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU GUYS KNOW?
I COULD MAKE SOMETHING UP, BUT NO.
SEEMS A RATHER COUNTERINTUITIVE NAME FOR A TYPE OF CANDY.
SO, HE'S OUT OF SURGERY, AND IT WENT EXTREMELY WELL.
HIS RECOVERY WON'T BE IMMEDIATE.
HE STILL HAS SEVERAL DAYS HERE AT THE HOSPITAL.
WE CAN GO OVER THAT LATER. HE'S GROGGY NOW AND TIRED.
AFTER HE GETS SOME REST, YOU CAN ALL VISIT WITH HIM,
BUT FOR NOW, MAYBE JUST HIS WIFE.
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
TELL DAD "HI" FROM US, MOM.
I WILL, LORELAI.
MMM.
EVERYTHING'S IN ORDER, YOU'LL BE GLAD TO KNOW.
I CALLED HAROLD LARKIN
AND THE CHAIRMAN OF THE ECONOMICS DEPARTMENT.
THEY SEND THEIR BEST WISHES FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY.
I CANCELED OUR DINNER RESERVATIONS
FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS.
I SENT REGRETS TO SARAH OSGOOD,
WHO'S HOSTING THE D.A.R. SPRING FLING THIS YEAR.
I LEFT WORD FOR THE SUDBURYS
THAT WE WON'T BE ABLE TO HOST BRIDGE THIS WEEK.
[ CHUCKLES ] UH, WHAT ELSE?
OH, AND I'VE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH QUENTIN.
HE'S BEEN KEPT ABREAST OF THE WHOLE SITUATION.
AND I BOUGHT FISH, RICHARD, SO MUCH FISH --
UH, TUNA AND TROUT AND SNAPPER AND SALMON AND --
[ Drowsily ] SOUNDS JUST FINE, EMILY.
THAT SOUNDS JUST FINE.
[ SIGHS ] HI, IT'S ME -- AGAIN.
UM, DAD'S OUT OF SURGERY,
AND IT WENT WELL, AND HE'S DOING FINE, SO...
IT'S GOOD NEWS.
I JUST -- I WANTED YOU TO KNOW...
BECAUSE...
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
'CAUSE YOU HAVEN'T RETURNED ANY OF MY CALLS.
BUT I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD, UH, TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON
BECAUSE... I'M YOUR WIFE
AND...I THINK THAT'S WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.
NO IDEA HOW TO BE YOUR WIFE, BUT I'M TRYING.
YOU'RE MY HUSBAND, YOU KNOW, AND...
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU SHOULD BE HERE OR CALL ME BACK.
I MEAN, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHAT MARRIED PEOPLE DO,
IS BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER.
BUT I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET, AND I KNOW WE HAD A FIGHT,
BUT THIS IS JUST BIGGER THAN THAT, YOU KNOW?
IT'S MY DAD, AND HE'S HAD A HEART ATTACK.
AND EVERYBODY'S BEEN HERE.
I MEAN, I'VE TALKED TO SOOKIE AND EVEN MICHEL
AND PATTY AND BABETTE,
AND THEY'VE ALL BEEN HERE FOR ME, BUT...
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
MY HUSBAND'S...NOT HERE.
THAT'S NOT OKAY, CHRIS, YOU KNOW?
IT'S NOT OKAY.
HERE WE GO -- A LITTLE "MAGGIE BLUES."
[ "MAGGIE BLUES" PLAYS ]
AHH.
[ CHUCKLES ] THAT IS BING AND GARY CROSBY.
WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY NAME THEIR KID "BING" ANYMORE?
YOU COULD HAVE NAMED ME "BING."
YOU DIDN'T LOOK LIKE A BING.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I SHOULD BE INSULTED.
I WISH I WERE A CROONER.
I ALSO BROUGHT YOU SOME GERSHWIN,
SOME CHUCK BERRY, AND THE ANDREWS SISTERS.
OOH, AND SOME MILTON FRIEDMAN.
THE GUY WHO SANG "SPIRIT IN THE SKY"?
NO, THAT WAS NORMAN GREENBAUM.
NO, MILTON FRIEDMAN'S
THE ECONOMIST WHO WON THE NOBEL PRIZE IN THE '70s.
WHEN YOU'RE SICK OF READING SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE,
YOU CAN PICK UP FRIEDMAN FOR A REAL MYSTERY
AND DEDUCE THE DISADVANTAGES
OF GOVERNMENT INTERVENTION IN ECONOMIC POLICY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DAD -- HERE OR PHILADELPHIA?
WHAT'S THE CALL?
I DON'T THINK I'D LIKE TO BE IN PHILADELPHIA.
I THINK I'D RATHER BE IN NEW HAVEN.
YEAH, IT'S OKAY HERE.
WE CAN IMPORT CREAM CHEESE AND CHEESESTEAKS
AND ANY OTHER KIND OF CHEESE.
YOU LOOK GOOD, DAD.
THIS OUTFIT'S NOT UP TO YOUR USUAL J. PRESS STANDARDS,
UNLESS IT'S GOT SOME BRASS BUTTONS I CAN'T SEE,
BUT...YOU LOOK GOOD.
YOU LOOK TALL.
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA... CLOSE MY EYES
FOR... JUST A LITTLE MINUTE.
IS HE ASLEEP?
I THINK SO.
SHOULD WE DRAW A MUSTACHE ON HIM?
HE'S ALREADY GOT A MUSTACHE.
OH, YEAH.
THE MUSIC'S NICE.
YEAH, IT IS, ISN'T IT?
HEY, RORY?
HEY, MOM?
YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU DOING SO WELL WITH LOGAN.
I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HAPPY.
THANKS.
HE'S NOT HALF BAD, THAT KID. HE'S ALMOST OKAY.
YEAH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
HEY, UH, MOM?
HEY, UH, RORY?
UM, DO YOU...KNOW WHERE DAD IS?
NO, HON.
FOR ALL I KNOW, MAYBE HE'S IN PHILADELPHIA.
WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO MOVE HIM OUT OF THE C.I.C.U. IN 24 HOURS.
IF EVERYTHING GOES AS PLANNED,
HE SHOULD BE HOME IN FIVE OR SIX DAYS.
EVERYTHING WILL GO AS PLANNED. I'M SURE OF IT.
I CAN SHOW YOU THE ROOM WHERE WE'LL BE MOVING RICHARD.
DOES IT HAVE A WINDOW?
THE ROOM HE'S IN HAS A WINDOW SO SMALL,
IT'S ALMOST A PEEPHOLE.
I BELIEVE IT DOES HAVE A WINDOW.
GO AHEAD. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
OKAY, MOM.
JUST BE CAREFUL OF THIS BAG HERE,
'CAUSE IT'S LEAKING A LITTLE BIT.
HEY, YOU'RE BACK.
OH. HEY. I DIDN'T WANT TO BUG YOU.
I WANTED TO DROP OFF SOME FOOD FOR YOU GUYS AND GET GOING.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. I WANTED TO MAKE SOME STUFF ANYWAY, SO...
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE NOW.
HE'S OKAY. THE SURGERY WENT WELL.
OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC. THAT IS SUCH GOOD NEWS.
THEY THINK HE'LL BE ABLE TO GO HOME IN A COUPLE DAYS.
OH, THAT'S SO GOOD. YEAH.
SO, HOW'S HE LOOKING?
UM...HE LOOKS GOOD...
BIG...TALL.
THAT'S GOOD. YEAH, HE'S TALL. HE'S A BIG MAN.
HE IS A BIG, TALL MAN.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
CAN I HELP YOU?
YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR RICHARD GILMORE.
I'M HIS SON-IN-LAW.
HE'S IN ROOM B-10. IT'S JUST DOWN THE HALL.
TAKE A RIGHT AT THE NURSES' STATION.
IS HE, UH...
THE SURGERY WENT WELL. HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
GOOD. DOWN THE HALL, RIGHT?
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
SO, I GOT A COUPLE OF BURGERS, ASSORTMENT OF SANDWICHES.
THERE'S SOME SALADS IN CASE YOU WANT TO EAT SALAD.
ALL RIGHT, COUPLE PIECES OF PIE,
HALF A DOZEN CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIES,
AND, OF COURSE, THERE IS THE FISH BAG.
Lorelai: YOU BROUGHT A FISH BAG?
I HEARD SOMEBODY TALKING ABOUT FISH.
THERE'S TWO FILLETS, OKAY, LOBSTER ROLL, FISH TACOS,
TWO TUNA-FISH SANDWICHES,
SOME FRIED FISH, AND FISH STICKS.
I'M HERE.
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GET GOING.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD.
I'M GLAD YOUR DAD'S DOING GOOD.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE COMING.
CLEARLY.
NO, HE JUST BROUGHT FOOD. I DIDN'T CALL HIM.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS -- NOT NOW.
DAD. HEY.
CHRISTOPHER, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT RICHARD'S OKAY.
HOW YOU DOING, KIDDO?
I'M OKAY. WE'RE GONNA GO VISIT GRANDPA AGAIN.
DO YOU WANT TO COME? HE'D BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
OKAY, COME ON.
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING.
THANKS, MOM.
WELL, BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.
HMM.