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Sir -- I have done seven chapters now (of the sequel to the autobiography) and I am
hoping to complete ten chapters. I have already got the whole thing what I am going to write.
It may be a little unbelievable but it does not matter.
Sir -- that is another problem with me. If I sit in front of the computer screen, in
any case my mind is already blank, it becomes completely blank. I can't do a word on it.
I can't think, nothing will happen. I enjoy the computer screen and computer probably
enjoys if it has any ( laughter.... ).
So, what happened was when I started writing it used to come in a spurt. I used to sit
quietly, Bandipur I used to go to, little place in the forest, sit.. I know when it
is coming. I do not want to eat, I do not want to drink, I do not want to walk, I want
to write. That is how it comes. So I used to have a pad. Immediately start writing and
get it. 2hrs 3 hours, I won't know, lunch time or dinner time, nothing. When it is over,
first thing that you feel is hunger. So you know it is over. Like that I wrote. All scribbles
on a pad.
Satsangi -- the whole autobiography?
Sir -- the whole lot was scribbled. There was no typed version. So it took up about
one year to finish. Then I sent it to the editor.
Satsangi -- what about the portion which wasn't typed?
Sir -- It is there with me, I want to put in out in the second sequence. Because the
editor said that he can't put this whole thing into one book. Because some do not fit into
the narrative.
Then he said otherwise I will have to do the whole thing again. I said, do not spoil my
narration. If you feel something does not fit, take it out. So I have another pile of
that.
So we are working on it. Now I want to get it out because the autobiography has now gone
into so many languages.
Satsangi -- who did the German and French and all?
Sir -- French has not been done. German is almost ready.
Satsangi -- but they said in French it will come out soon.
Sir -- they are working on it. German translation is out on amazon as an e-book. There is a
professor in Amritanandamayi University. He is a German teaching German. He came to see
me saying I came to see to write this book. So I gave it to him. Then after the transcript
was ready, we circulated it to max Muller bhavan to some people and they have gone through
it. Satisfied. It is going to be printed.
Federico is working on the Spanish. Then French also some work is going on in Canada. There
is a namboodari lady who is a professor there. She is doing it.
Then other Indian languages -- Telugu, Kannada, Gujarati and Oriya have to come out. Oriya
is in print now. Bengali they are doing. After some time, I will have to go in disguise (laughter...).
(Some cross conversation...)
Sir -- Sunday, for the public talk, I wanted to do bhagwad gita. Because many people do
not have an idea of what it is all about. Although we hear it every time. So I thought, let me explain, it is a simple
thing. It is not complicated thing meant only for sanyasis. It is meant for us.
See, Arjun is in the battlefield. He is not in the caves. The whole of the gita talks
to him. So we are all in this battlefield. Very often we feel like throwing down our
bows and retiring. But no. pick it up. What happened to you? You are ok till now.
Satsangi -- I did retire and then I have taken the up battle again.
Sir -- that is very good. Whenever I hear that, I feel very happy. For me, the constant
battle is going on. I am not interested whether I win or lose.
Satsangi -- I was thinking how easy it is to overcome anger.
Sir -- not easy. But then, we have to see the source. The root cause of it.
Because sometimes anger might be result of some physical illness also. So, you have to
identify the root cause. Then you should. One should start at the root. Otherwise you
can control anger. But control anger is ok for our day to day existence. But deep down,
it is there. Inside.
Satsangi -- In fact, that sometime can be more harmful?
Sir -- sometime you see people who are calm and then suddenly they explode. In Tamil they
say "sadhu Maranda". They have covered it. For survival in society it may be necessary
at times to do that. Because we know it is not pleasant to get angry.
But unless we find the root cause, it is not easy to handle anger. Now anger is not an
isolated emotion. It is usually linked with other things, jealousy.
Satsangi -- simple things like being angry with your kids?
Sir -- that is not a bad thing.
Satsangi -- that is not anger. That is love (laughter...)
Sir -- you can't call that anger in that kind of.. Anger can also be called bad when it
is destructive. That is why I said it is not an isolated emotion. You cannot separate it
and say anger I have to control. It is all part of one.
The less self-centred one is, the less these things come. That is the root.
Satsangi -- but isn't it better that in most cases, let sleeping dogs lie?
Sir -- ya. If you are ok with it, it is fine. But the thing is you never know where it flares
up.
Satsangi -- You start your meditation and by and large you are able to achieve a certain
semblance of calmness. Why unnecessarily think up like you said, invoke the person who may
or may not have done. In fact most of the time, we do not remember that.
Sir -- then it is better to leave it. I am talking about a case of one's obsessed by
it. Then only. Otherwise, there is no need.
You see, it is like this. What has happened in the past, you can do nothing. You can't
go back to the past and tinker with it. It is impossible. Humanly impossible.
So we have only the present. Make the best use of it, utilize it. Because this will decide
what will happen in the future. So that way you are right. I am talking about some obsession
which is even preventing you from meditating, then this kind of remedy is there.
Satsangi -- the other corollary question to this is, that people say that when you meditate,
all your dark thoughts or whatever it is come up, is that true?
Sir -- sometimes. If there are really such dark thoughts they may come out.
Satsangi -- which we are usually not aware of.
Sir -- yes. They may come out. It is like a manthan. Samudra manthan was done, the first
thing that came out was poison. Then the amrita will come out. But one has to learn how to
handle that poison when it comes out. So it is possible that it may happen. This is only
if there is something below the surface, that has to come out.
If there is nothing to come out, you do not have to create something.
(some cross conversation...)
Satsangi -- does it have to be early morning? Because many people believe that it is early
morning that meditation is best.
Sir -- now, this is simply because of practical reasons. Early morning, first of all, if you
get up very early, you do not have anything else to do. So you can concentrate on what
you do.
The other is it is the time when the world is generally silent and also cool. The only
wonderful thing probably are the birds, which is nice, which is conducive to meditation.
And your stomach is empty. You have not eaten anything. Might have had a cup of milk or
tea, but nothing in particular. So, all these are plus points for meditation which does
not mean, that meditation cannot be done at other times.
Why?
The ideal if you can do it, especially, is in the beginning is the early morning. You
can also do meditation at any time of the day.
Only thing is when you tummy is full, when you meditate, you fall asleep. So, leave about
an hour or hour and a half, after you had a meal and then meditate. It can be done anytime.
I am specifically saying this because some people determine ok, from tomorrow I am going
to take up meditation. One day.. Second day five o clock will become six, third day -- I
am very tired. So finally what is because you cannot meditate in the morning, you give
up meditation altogether. So, find a reasonable time and stick to it for some time, till you
become expert at sitting down, then slowly advance your mornings, further up. This works
better.
Now there is another reason, which is inner secret of why morning meditation, I support.
The timescale of the day, there are three Sandhyas. The first Sandhya is when the sun
is about to rise. Sandhya -- meeting point. The second is in the mid noon when the shadows
are beginning to lengthen and the third is in the evening when the sun is around setting
time. These are the three Sandhyas during which gayatri chanting and Sandhya vandana
are prescribed.
Why? - because in yogic terms, we know that.. Normally people think that both the nostrils
are working at the same speed all the time. They do not. At a given moment, generally,
either the right one is stronger or the left one is stronger.
And the ancient rishis have found out through observation or having been taught by those
who had come to know about,
(some disturbance...)
So they have discovered that certain activities in one's life are better performed when the
right or left are working better. Like for instance when your right nostril is working,
it is called the pingala, pingala nadi, the left is called the Ida nadi.
(Some cross conversation...)
So, activities are prescribed according to that. According to which one is bigger. Like
all physical activities like food, eating, drinking, sleeping they are all when this
one is stronger and when this one is stronger then activities like meditation, music, art.
During these three sandhyas, when the right shifts to the left and left shifts to the right, there
is one period when both are equal. That is the time when sushumna functions better -- from
the yogic anatomy. So, when that happens, it is more conducive to... which is why these times have been fixed.
But, You can do at any time.
All I am saying is because you cannot sit at that time, you should not stop. Otherwise
this will go off slowly. I can't sit..
Satsangi - I heard about the breathing also it has an effect on the blood pressure, on
migraines. All kinds of things are affected by different side breathing.
Sir -- there is an entire science in yoga on the breath, right and left breath.
My understanding of this is the left breath is connected to the right brain -- the right
to the left. Because in yogic terminology, in the yogic descriptions, they say that when
the Ida nadi is functioning sorry pingala nadi is functioning which is the right then
it is conducive to do practical things. That is to do with the left brain. So there is
a criss cross. Looks like it. And when the left, which is called the Ida nadi works,
then intuitive things which cannot fall into 1+1 =2 and so on. Creative, imagination and
so on. This is connected to that.
So yogis also have the ways and means to shift it when necessary. From right to left and
left to right. Not mystery or anything. You lie down on your right side, after some time,
left will start operating. If you lie on left, after some time, your right will start operating.
(Some cross conversation ...)
Satsangi -- Sir, in one of your things you said how you were given a whack on your face
and your pingala opened up.
Sir -- that is not a rational description.. (laughter...) this I have written in the next
sequence.
See what happened was -- this thing I told you about right and left -- so when I was
very small about eleven twelve year old, I had a relative. My father's eldest cousin
who also came from our family, naturally.
And it was from him that the first time I heard the word kundalini.
He was a confirmed bachelor and he never got married. The reason is also very funny. He
used to be a tall man with short hair and always wore a khaki shirt, dhoti and used
to carry an umbrella. Many people thought he was retired police officer, something like
that. Specially the taxi drivers. (laughter...) -- Because sometimes they used to get good
partings of his mind.
He used to live in a place called Punalur where my father's family comes from. It is
not far from Trivandrum so he used to come very often. He was actually the headmaster
of the Punalur high school. He went in those days to a place called American college Madurai
and did his English graduation and all that and learnt self-defense. He also was good
at kalaripayatam. So he was quite a character, colorful character.
So his marriage was arranged to my father's elder sister who is his cousin, his first
cousin. So on that day when he was entering the pandal, my father's other sisters, who
were going to be his sister in laws in future, they were teasing him and making fun of him
and someone threw a banana skin on his head. Instead of walking into the mandap, he turned
and walked back home.
He said, if this is the situation before marriage what will happen after marriage (laughter....).
Satsangi -- he actually left?
Sir -- yes, he actually left.
My grandfather never forgave him for that. He was a nephew. Whenever he used to come
into the house, my grandfather used to wander off somewhere. (laughter...).
So this gentleman, also he was the headmaster of the local school, my grandfather started
that school, then the government took over. Because he started this school, he made him
the head master because he was qualified. So my father was his student, even though
he is his cousin. Those days you know... so, this gentleman, used to come to Trivandrum
often, (when he was) retired.
He used to usually come armed with parry mason and Sherlock Holmes. In the drawing room there
was an easy chair. He used to read. Only bad habit he had was he used to smoke cheroot,
you know, cigar -- horrible smelling stuff. That I can never forget. So, this man one
day he told me, I will take you to see somebody but do not tell anybody. I said, how can I..
No no. I will tell them, I am taking you to Punalur to give you some training in self-defense.
He was an expert in kalari and jujitsu and so on - from American college, Madurai.
So I will tell your father, do not worry. So, I said ok. So he told my father that I
am taking him to Punalur. So we went off. Instead of going to punalur, three and a half
days we travelled and finally he said I am taking you to meet a living saint. You must
get his blessings. I said but why. Babaji had already touched my head. This is after
that. It is part of that thing. So, he took me and finally tired and hungry, we reached
Ganeshpuri.
Satsangi -- Ganeshpuri, near Poona?
Sir -- we took trains, buses.. And I was so fed up and tired and I was wondering what
all this thing is going on. Anyway, we went to Nityananda's place. Have you heard of - not
this present day Nityanand.. - One nityananda used to be in ganeshpuri. A great saint. Paramahamsa.
So, he used to behave like a mad man sometimes. If he did not like people, he would throw
stones or he used to curse them. Malayalam, he used choicest gaalis. He used to speak
very good malayalam. Nobody knows whether he was Malayalam, Tulu or Kannada. He talked
Marathi also very well.
Anyway, he said, I have brought you to see Nityananda. I was 11 and a half years old.
We went to a place, they called it kailash that I remember. That's where he lived. Inside
that kailash, if you enter, there is a stone slab and an easy chair. He used to either
lie there or sit on the easy chair.
Huge dark man, completely dark, clean shaved, head shaved, only white kaupin used to be
there. Big build. Now when we went, they said, no no you can't see him, come at 4 o clock.
So we went out and thankfully ate something. I was on the verge of tears. And finally at
4 o clock, there were not too many people, so we were allowed to go.
My uncle who was with me, passed in front of him. He did not say anything. He was simply
sitting in his chair, making noise -- mmhh, mmhh, mmhhh like that.