Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
You know, you look at this, and you think, "Aww, look at the cute little rabbit. Hey,
I bet this is gonna be a pleasant game. About frolicking, through dewey meadows. And joy."
But then you play this...and suddenly, it's like, "Holy sh*t balls, this bunny's terrifying."
It's like...he's got huge, sharp...he can leap, about...
Look at the bones.
So it's called Chubbins. Which sounds so cute and harmless, right? Oh, sure, he's just an
adorable little bunny rabbit, isn't he? Isn't it cute how he makes you want to bash your
own brains in with your GamePad? Oh, yes, I'm enjoying everything about this.
By that I mean, "Holy sh*t balls, this bunny's terrifying."
Hey, what's the hardest game you've played lately? 'Cause guess what. This adorable little
bunny rabbit would eat that game alive and spit out the bones. And then it'd eat your
mom.
Freaking Chubbins.
He's got a vicious streak a mile wide.
So this game was developed by two guys. Who I can only assume hate each other, 'cause
that's the only reason I can think of why anyone would ever make something so hard.
Just to torture each other. But, hey...fortunately, we're all privy to their mutual hatred. We
all get to experience Chubbins for ourselves. And all his...furry white wrath.
You think you're a bad mother f*cker, do you?
Let me tell you something. Chubbins is a bad mother f*cker. He was born of hatred. You
were just born of your mom. Who, as we've established, Chubbins has since eaten.
Now, in addition to being a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with
it and lived...Chubbins has a weight problem. He's just a fat little rabbit. And for some
reason, he lives in this crazy world where there's no ground. Just boxes. What kind of
a world is that, you ask? Well, it's all that remains of the world, because apparently,
Chubbins ate the rest of it.
Now, he has to bounce around for all eternity. That's the premise.
I'm guessing about...like, half of that.
So each level has an exit. And you have to get to that exit. Sounds fine, but, uh...few
things. One, Chubbins can only bounce. Two, the boxes bounce you in different directions
and speeds, based on the arrows on the side. And three, how is anyone supposed to do this?
It's ridiculous. You have to bounce the entire way to the exit, and get through stuff like
this. And this. And hey, why not this, too?
I mean, it can't get more difficult than that.
Well, sh*t.
So in case you didn't notice, this is a really hard game. And what's cool about it is...I
mean, it's almost like it's daring you. You know? You can see what you're supposed to
do. It's right there in front of you. But actually doing it is another story. Each level
is this little self-contained obstacle course of brutality. And it's usually straightforward,
but it takes serious skill to pull it off.
One mistake, and you're screwed.
As if you weren't already screwed, just playing this.
And you know, I'm not a huge fan of games that are deliberately hard, but...this one's
actually pretty well done. It's generally designed well, it plays great...and I like
how it times you, too. It's actually based on your finish time for the entire world.
So from level to level, your time keeps ticking. That means, when you die, the only real penalty
is the time it takes.
So it's a neat system that works well in this kind of obstacle course platformer.
Of course, the drawback is...there's nothing to really work toward, in terms of your time.
The game doesn't have online leaderboards, so your only objective is to beat your own
score. Now, it's from a small team, so it's understandable...but it's still a bit of a
bummer. And actually, the presentation is, too. The game goes for a really simple look,
but...it's not an especially memorable look. Like, you can tell it was originally developed
for iOS...
But it wouldn't even be a great-looking iOS game.
Just looks a bit generic. And it doesn't sound that great, either.
Fortunately, though...the gameplay is definitely there. It's kind of, like...if you combined
those games where you're constantly bouncing, like Doodle Jump, with those super-hard platformers
like Super Meat Boy. That's what Chubbins is about. And I mean, it's not without its
drawbacks. It's not the prettiest game, it doesn't do anything with the GamePad...it
also costs twice as much in the eShop as the App Store, which kind of sucks.
But still. If you enjoy platformers that push the difficulty to levels most reasonable people
consider pointless, this game is certainly worth a look. Just...don't say I didn't warn
you.
About Chubbins, for the Nintendo Wii U.
Keep your mother away.