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--It was a typical Saturday evening and my good friend Jossele was bored again--.
You know, let's play poker!
I hate card games! I always loose at card games!
Who's talking about cards? I'm talking about jewish poker.
So? Jewish Poker is played completely without
cards. Only in the mind. You think about a number, I think about a number, whoever has
the highest, wins. That may sound easy but it has its perils.
We gamble with money, of course. -Ok, let's play
Ok... Announce. -Eleven.
Twelve! --I could slap myself, because I first thought
of 14 and was changing last minute to eleven. I don't even know why.-- What would've happened,
if I had announced 14? -Well then you had won, that's for sure. You
know, that's the exciting part about this game that you never can tell, what's going
to happen next. But if it's too exciting for you, I suppose we finish.
18! -Damn! I only had 17!
--Jossele could have never dreamed, that I would comprehend the rules of jewish poker so fast.
He may have thought of 15 or 16, but never of 18!--
Double or quits! -If you say so.
Announce! -35.
43!
Why haven't you said 43 before?
Because I was thinking of 17! That is the exciting ...
50 pounds!
54!
Ah! I thought of 54, too. We'll have to play again!
--You surely believe that I will announce 11 or something similar again, but you will be
surprised. I choose the unbeatable number 69!-- Ok, now, YOU come out first!
If you say so... 70!
Well, where is your number?
If you believe it or not: I forgot my number!
Liar! You haven't forgotten it! You thought about a smaller number and now you won't announce
it! That's an old trick! Shame on you! --I bet 100 pounds because I came up with the
murderous number 96!-- Announce ***!
1693!
1800!
Doubled!
Double?! What the hell is doubled? -Calm down. If you lose yourself while playing
poker, you'll lose your shirts! Every child could tell you, that my number doubled is
higher than your number. -That kind of guy you are? With these methods
you try to beat me? I could've done the same! -Of course you could! Quite frankly I'm surprised you didn't.
But that's how poker works: Either you can handle it, or you can't. And if you
can't you should stay the hell away from it!
--We played with 200 pounds now. -Your announcement!
Four. -Hah! 100.000!
Ultimo.
According to the hoyleric law whoever announces
Ultimo first, wins, regardless of which numbers are in the game.
You know, that's the exciting
thing about this game: one second... -500 pounds! All or nothing!
Ultimo!
Ben Gurion! Ben Gurion is better than Ultimo!
You know, it's getting late, we should stop!
Wait, wait! Ben Gurion is not part of the rules! You came up with it! It's not part of the game!
Well, you know, that's the fun thing about poker: money you won is never given back!