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Hello, folks! Are you ready to live great adventures and lots of excitement?
With tacky and morally questionable jokes?
Well, me too.
I’m so nervous I’m even wearing adult diapers.
Yes, they’re not only for… old people.
– What’s up, man? Cool? – Hey.
Have you finished the report yet?
I’m still working on it. What’s up?
I’ve rented an awesome movie, “Groundhog Day”, remember?
– Sure… – So…
Wanna watch it at my place tonight?
Thanks, Jorge. But I’ve already watched it three times, man.
And I’ll watch the soccer game tonight.
But thanks. Thanks for inviting.
– Let me just finish this… ok? – Be my guest.
The report.
Max, have you finished the report?
No, sir, sorry. I’ll be done by five, for sure.
It is due by four, Max. By four.
Ok, I’ll be done by four. Sorry…
Telminha is looking so hot today…
***!
What’s up, man? Have you finished the report yet?
No, man… I’m still working on it.
Let me tell you this.
I’ve rented a movie, an incredible one,
“Groundhog Day”, have you seen it?
I know, man.
So, wanna go to my place and watch it?
Man, I told you, I’ve already watched it three times, bro.
And there’s the game tonight.
– Max, have you finished the report? – No, not yet, sir.
– It is due by four, Max. – Yes, you’ve already told me that.
I’ll be done by four.
Telminha is looking so hot today, man.
– Oh, no…
What’s up, man? Have you finished the report yet?
No, man! No, No!
Chill out, man, I was just gonna make you an invitation.
This is not happening to me…
You don’t even know what I was gonna invite you for.
You know that movie, “Groundhog Day”?
Man, that was the exactly invitation I was gonna make.
Well, my life is going in circles.
I’m screwed, I’m stuck in a minute, understand?
Like in the movie, the guy stuck in a day?
I’m stuck in a minute. In the report minute.
I’m stuck in the groundhog report minute…
Max, have you finished the report?
– Look, this is due by… – Here.
Thanks.
Look, man, you’re going nuts.
Take care of yourself. You should look for help.
– This is not working out for you… – Telminha is gonna come in now.
– By the way, she is looking so… – Hot.
I know, and she’s gonna spill coffee on her blouse.
Unless I stop her!
– Telminha… – Hi.
Careful. Oh... oh, sorry.
Sorry, let me…
What’s up, man? Have you finished the report yet?
I’ve already handed the *** report down, Jorge.
You know that movie, “Groundhog Day”?
No! Oh Lord, not again!
I’m stuck in this *** movie, Jorge!
I’m stuck in the same minute!
Crazy, huh? It’s like we're having the same conversation repeatedly…
We’re having this conversation repeatedly, man!
– Really? – Repeatedly!
Now our boss is gonna come in,
he’s going to ask me again if I’ve finished the report.
Max, have you finished the report?
No, ***!
And I won’t finish it, you know why?
Because I hate this *** firm.
And I hate you. You’re such an idiot,
that you don’t even realise that everybody here steals the firm money,
and you don’t even know that your wife
*** everybody on the marketing and finances department.
– Cause she’s a ***... – Max, get your things and leave right now!
What are you doing, man? Are you crazy?
Relax, Telminha is still coming in…
– And by the way, she’s so… – Hot! I know. Very hot.
Do it, spill the coffee on your blouse!
What?
Take your coffee, spill it, ***.
– Take it, spill it. – What? C’mon…
You didn’t want to spill the coffee? Now, do the doggy style.
– What? – Doggy style!
Go, little horse, yeah! Hot little horse!
This isn’t going anywhere, watch it. I’m gonna sit here, see,
everything is gonna get back to normal.
– Max, stop it. Go home, man. – Throw this clown out!
This is a parallel universe, my friend.
This isn’t going anywhere. Ouch, my arm!
Little prick…
This minute is gonna happen again, you’ll see!
For those who didn’t understand,
I was laughing from the last video…
Hilarious.
Next one is gonna be swell.
Who haven’t ever fallen in love with a soap opera star?
Fábio Assunção in “Celebridades” (Brazillian soap opera).
That's why you're gonna watch: “Soap Opera Star”.
"SOAP OPERA STAR" DELETED SCENES
“Chains of Passion”, sequence 9, take 1. Action!
Tobias, I found out that someone’s stealing my horses.
I went to the barn this morning and I was like...
– Cut! – What’s the matter?
– Huh… let’s do it differently? – Ok.
Let’s say… just to give us an option, right?
Ok.
Tell him you’re gonna take that *** who’s stolen the horses.
– Let’s do that part. – All right. Ok, let’s do it.
Fine? Really aggressive, let’s do the…
– Aggressive? – Yes... let’s roll? Action!
Oh, you can be sure. Come what may, I’ll find out who that *** is!
Cut!
“Chains of Passion”, sequence 23, take 1. Action!
Please stop, Don Leoncio! Stop it! He is inocent!
He’s not inocent, Isaura!
You’ll regret that you escaped.
Damed ***! Runaway! Naughty boy! Dog!
– Cut! – What?
– Huh… it was nice… – Was it?
It was.
– Did I hurt you? – No.
We’re kinda in a hurry here… the crew in on a short schedule…
Fine.
– Let’s do the… last sequence. – Ok! Are we done with this one?
– Yes. – Is there any cupcakes left?
VALID ID REQUIRED FOR DISCOUNTED TICKETS UPON PURCHASE AND ENTRANCE
How do you do, my dear? How much is the ticket?
– 50 reais. – Great.
Because I’m an elderly lady and I pay half-price.
So I brought this play flyer…
this will give me 50% off, so I’ll pay half of the half-price.
I brought this week’s newspaper clipping, so I’ll pay half of the half of the half-price.
My electricity bill also gives me a half-price ticket
for me to pay half of the half of the half of the half of the half of the half-price.
And I’m an organ and blood donor…
so it will be half of the half of the half of the half of the half of the half-price.
Well, if I counted right, you own me 100 reais.
Great. Thank you very much, my dear.
– Ma’am? – Yes?
– The ticket. – No, my dear.
I only came here to get the money for the groceries.
Ok? Ok.
Adult diapers can be very confortable.
But don’t forget to bring a spare one,
especially if you’re gonna be seated between the skits.
Fighting is difficult, bro.
But I’m prepared, understand?
I’m gonna enter that ring and destroy that guy, understand?
I’m gonna *** his face with my hands, understand?
He’ll leave the ring entirely haggard, on the inside and on the outside…
He won’t be able to know what’s a pharynx, what’s a larynx, what’s an ***… see?
I’m gonna blow him so much that he’s gonna fart through his eyes, understand?
Everything with my master’s help… Jesus. Understand?
Cause Jesus guides my way.
You think I should fight?
I’ve just been called for “A Fazenda” (celebrity reality show).
– You’re gonna fight. – You really think I should fight?
How couldn’t you?
You’re going to this “Fazenda” for what?
For you to be that Isnei’s ***?
– I’m no one’s ***. – Do not point you finger at me.
You should respect me! Don’t ever do this to me!
If Feiticeira wore to be there, it would be fine.
That we can understand.
But leaving this job to be Valeska Popozudas’s little boyfriend?
Bruna Surfistinha is there too.
That girl, she suffered so much…
Damn it, you dig defending hookers, huh?
Bro, I’m feeling so relaxed, bro.
You know why?
Cause other than that ***,
Jesus is by my side all the time, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, blend it! Do it! C’mon, Silas!
– What’s your name? – Silas!
– Say your name, ***! Say it! – Silas!
That’s it!
By the way, I’m only where I am,
cause I’ve listened to Jesus, understand?
He talks to me all the time.
That’s it, that’s it! Nice, Silas! Nice!
Now turn over! Turn over, Silas! C’mon, turn over!
On his right, Silas! ***!
Ride him, Silas! Ride him! Silas, ride him! Ride him, Silas!
Silas, watch the crucifix, Silas! Stay away from the crucifix, Silas!
Get it him, Silas! Get him!
– Trouble with bad breath? – ***!
We’re back with one more video.
But it’s not just a video.
Like Claudia Raia would say in “A Favorita” (Brazillian soap opera):
Now it is personal.
What’s up, guys? What are you doing tonight?
My brother is gonna perform in a bar in Lapa. Wanna come?
I’ll suck it if I want to, and if I don’t want to, I’ll suck it anyway!
I’ll do anything I want in here! It’s whatever I want!
No, I’m not ok!
– I’m not ok… – I’ve already watched this part…
***, I’m gonna finish this *** up right now!
“Chains of Passion”, sequence 30, take 1. Action!
You damed ***! This is for you to learn to never escape again.
And now you’re going to experience the power of my whip.
– Cut! – What?
Huh… we had a little problem here.
– A sound problem. – When?
– On the last word you said… – The last one?
– Yeah, the whip. – On the whip word?
– Yes. Let’s do it again? – Yeah, yeah, sure.
Let’s do it again also to give them another option.
Yeah, of course.
– Ok? – Ok.
Let’s roll?
“Chains of Passion”, sequence 30, take 2. Action!
You’re going to experience the power of my whip.
Cut!
Take 3. Action!
You’re going to experience the power of my whip.
Cut!
Whip.
– The power of my weapon. – Great, that's a wrap, guys! Thanks!
Is that a rifle?
It used to be.
What’s up, guys?
Did you *** your pants from laughing?
I did.
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Cause maybe someone could share that post…
and you could get poked…
and you know that saying, right?
Being poked could mean free sex.
For that reason… share our videos.
We love it. And I do too.
Is there anything more to say?
I’m not listening to what he’s trying to tell me.
Ok, guys.
I hope you’ve liked this video, the credits are rolling right next to me…
With the names of the actors that played in it and so…
Yeah… it was a pleasure being here with you…
hosting this video…
you can find our videos on our channel…
on YouTube…
and…
do not forget, every Monday and Thursday
there’s a new video realease on our YouTube channel!
Tchau!
This farm used to be the empire’s biggest producer.
Now it’s such a naff!
Tradução e legendas: Melissa Prado