Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
.
- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- SHE MADE THESE COMMENTS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE,
WHICH ARE COMPLETELY DEFAMATORY.
- BRANDI CROSSED THE LINE AND HIT BELOW THE BELT.
OH, BOY, SHE'S GONNA GET SLAPPED WITH A FAT, OLD LAWSUIT.
- SHE TOLD ME SHE HAS A LETTER THAT YOU'RE SUING HER.
- COME ON, LOOK AT HER CHARACTER.
WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?
- YOUR LAWYER DIDN'T SEND MY LAWYER A LETTER?
- ABSOLUTELY NOT. - I HAVE THE LETTER.
- SHAME ON YOU, SHAME ON YOU... - SHAME ON ME?
- FOR BEING SO CALCULATING. - SHAME ON YOU!
[upbeat music]
- LIFE ISN'T ALL DIAMONDS AND ROSE,
BUT IT SHOULD BE.
- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS.
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.
- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.
- I FOUGHT TOO HARD FOR THIS ZIP CODE
TO GO HOME NOW.
- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN, BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.
- LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
AND I'M FINDING MYSELF EVERY DAY.
- I'M BORN AND RAISED IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
- [murmuring]
MMM, NICE.
I'M INVITING PEOPLE OVER
TO SEE WHAT MY NOSE LOOKS LIKE
BEFORE I HEAD OUT THERE INTO THE--
THE REAL WORLD, JUST TO SEE WHAT THEY THINK
AND TELL ME IF IT LOOKS RIGHT,
AND ALSO KIND OF TO TELL THEM THANK YOU
FOR SUPPORTING ME DURING MY SOBRIETY.
ONLY THE WHITE ONES GO IN THE POOL TONIGHT.
THE PINK AND THE YELLOW WE CAN PUT AWAY.
YEAH, BUT FOR NOW, LET'S JUST DO THOSE.
THE ONE THING I DID WANT IS ICED DRINKS.
WE CAN DO THIS, RIGHT? - OKAY.
- SINCE I DON'T REALLY HAVE A...
FULL BAR SETUP FOR EVERYBODY,
I WANTED PEOPLE TO BE ABLE
TO COME AND GET ICED COFFEE DRINKS, OKAY?
- THAT'LL WORK FOR ME.
- ALL RIGHT, PERFECT. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
PERFECT.
UM, THESE ARE NOT LIT.
OKAY, MILTON, I'M GONNA HAVE YOU RUN DOWN
AND GET A FEW BAGS OF ICE.
AND THEN WE'LL NEED, UM... PLASTIC CUPS.
OH! PLASTIC COFFEE CUPS.
- OKAY. - KINGSLEY, DO NOT JUMP!
- WHOOP. OKAY.
- WELL, NOT FOR LONG. - COME ON, GIRLS.
CAREFUL WALKING UP THE STAIRS IN THESE HEELS.
I KNOW IT'S HARD WORK BEING A GIRL.
- OH, BEAUTIFUL. - WATCH YOUR STEP, GIRLS.
- HOW PRETTY IS AUNTIE KIM'S HOUSE!
- HI. OH, LOOKIT, THOSE ARE PRETTY...
ALL LIT UP LIKE THAT. - I LOVE IT.
COME ON, SWEETIE.
- KENNEDY AND PORTIA OFTEN PLAY TOGETHER,
SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN
TO DRESS THEM UP AND BRING 'EM TO KIM'S
FOR A NIGHT OUT.
AND TAYLOR'S GONNA MEET US HERE LATER.
- HI! - HEY, LOVEY.
- HI. - KIM!
LOOKS SO PRETTY BACK HERE.
- I KNOW. - I LOVE IT.
- I KNOW, RIGHT? - WHY DO YOU FEEL SO TINY?
OH, BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR FLATS.
- 'CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA BREAK A NOSE
AND WEAR ANY MORE HIGH HEELS IN MY DAY.
- OH, I HEARD THE DOG.
WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE DOG BUMPING YOUR NOSE?
- WELL, HE ALMOST BROKE MY NEW NOSE.
- NO. - YES.
- SO WHAT DID THE DOCTOR HAVE TO DO?
- IT WASN'T HIS FAULT.
HE HAD TO REDO EVERYTHING
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME I HAD AN UGLY NOSE,
AN UGLY FACE.
- I DIDN'T! WOULD YOU STOP?
- ALL YOUR FAULT. - DON'T PLAY THE MARTYR.
DON'T EVEN START WITH ME.
YOU GUYS SAY HI TO AUNT KIM? - HI, HI.
- [laughs]
- SHE'S S-C-A-R-E-D.
- I KNOW, I'M SURE-- ARE YOU SCARED OF ME?
- HONEY, WE LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS.
YOU BETTER GET USED TO THAT.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IS BUBBIE BEAUTIFUL? - [screams]
- I AM TRYING-- - HELLO.
- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. - HI. HI, KIM.
HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- OKAY, SEE, MARISA,
MY MOM WOULD SAY, "SPIT THAT GUM OUT."
- I KNOW. - SHE WALKS IN...
- I KNOW, AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HOW I DROVE UP, RIGHT?
- GIVE ME THAT GUM, GIVE ME THAT GUM.
- YOU'RE SO CUTE! - [laughs]
[cell phone rings]
- KIM? - YES?
- I'M SORRY. I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
- [mouths words] - OKAY.
- I HAVE JUST BECOME CLOSE TO SOMEONE
THAT I'VE KNOWN FOR A LONG TIME.
AND HE'S JUST INVITED ME TO GO ON A PLANE TONIGHT,
FROM VAN NUYS, AND I THINK I'M IN LOVE.
I'M BEING REALLY SERIOUS.
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, I THINK I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE.
- WHO IS THIS GUY THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ALL OF A SUDDEN?
- [snickering]
- OKAY, SO YOU'RE LEAVING FOR...VEGAS?
- NO, I'M GOING TO BEAVER CREEK.
- OKAY. - YEAH, ON A PLANE TONIGHT.
SO I'M JUST GONNA MISS THE PARTY,
AND I LOVE YOU GIRLS,
AND I'LL CALL YOU FROM THERE, OKAY?
- O-- - BUT I'M--
I'M SO HAPPY, AND HE LOVES KENNEDY.
- I HAVE KENNEDY WITH ME ANYWAY.
CAN I JUST KEEP HER WITH ME THEN?
- OH, YOU HAVE KENNEDY WITH YOU?
- YEAH, KENNEDY'S WITH ME.
- WELL, TAKE HER.
I'M COMING BACK FOR THE WHITE PARTY.
- CAN SHE SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME TONIGHT THEN?
- IF YOU WANT, YEAH.
- YOU DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS AT MY HOUSE?
- NO IDEA.
YOU KNOW I TRUST YOU MORE THAN ANY PERSON ON THE PLANET.
- WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
YOU'RE NOT AT YOUR HOUSE? - SHE'S AT THE HOUSE.
- NO, I'M ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
- OKAY, HAVE FUN.
- OKAY. - OKAY, I LOVE YOU.
both: I LOVE YOU.
- [murmurs]
- THIS IS WEIRD. both: YEAH.
- SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD KENNEDY.
SHE SAID, "OH, YOU HAVE KENNEDY?"
- WHAT? - WHO IS SHE GOING WITH?
- I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THAT COULD EVEN POSSIBLY BE.
- DOES SHE KNOW WHO SHE'S GOING WITH?
- DOES SHE KNOW WHO SHE'S GOING WITH?
- [laughs] YEAH.
- SHH. HERE COMES KENNEDY.
- OH.
both: HI. - NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
- DIDN'T YOU HEAR HER VOICE?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- SHE COULD BARELY TALK, KYLE.
I FEEL... IT'S DANGEROUS.
[stammers] SHE HAS A LITTLE GIRL, YOU KNOW?
- [sighs] - BUT--
- TAYLOR'S VOICE ABSOLUTELY SOUNDED TIPSY TO ME.
BEYOND TIPSY.
[overlapping chatter]
- WE GET A PHONE CALL.
I GET A PHONE CALL FROM TAYLOR THAT SHE SAYS,
"HEY, KIM, I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU, I WON'T--
"I'M REALLY SORRY, I WON'T BE COMING
BECAUSE... I THINK I'M IN LOVE."
- I HAVEN'T SEEN HER, YOU KNOW, GO ON A DATE EVEN.
NOT EVEN A DATE. - WHO?
both: TAYLOR.
- SO THEN SHE SAID SHE'S NOT COMING,
THAT SHE'S IN LOVE AND SHE'S GOING WITH THIS MAN
TO BEAVER CREEK.
- WHEN? both: RIGHT NOW.
- SORRY. - WHAT?
- AND THAT SHE CAN'T COME HERE.
OKAY, SO KENNEDY STAYS WITH ME A LOT, I GIVE YOU...
- YEAH, WHICH I THINK IS A LITTLE BIZARRE, TO BE HONEST.
- BUT SHE JUST THOUGHT IT'S FINE.
- I MEAN, LOOK, IT'S A HORRIBLE THING FOR ME TO SAY,
BUT I'M GONNA SAY IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I DO.
IT SEEMS LIKE HER CHILD... - WE DON'T WANT ANYTHING--
- HER CHILD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU,
SO SHE CAN GO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO DO.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
AND IT'S LIKE, THAT'S-- - WELL--
- I MEAN, AND I DON'T KNOW TAYLOR,
BUT IT DOES SEEM LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE HER KID.
- KENNEDY GOES HOME, AND IT'S JUST THE TWO OF THEM.
AND THEN SHE'S LIKE... - BUT IT DOES SEEM--
- "MOMMY, THEIR HOUSE IS SO MUCH MORE FUN."
- BUT THEN WHEN YOU TELL ME A STORY ABOUT THIS...
- THAT'S WEIRD.
- I WOULD NEVER JUST GO ON A WHIM WITH A GUY...
- WELL, THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY.
- AND NOT CALL YOU, AND BE LIKE,
"KYLE, I JUST MET THIS GUY.
"I REALLY WANT TO GO FOR A WEEKEND.
"DO YOU WANT TO KEEP KENNEDY THIS WEEKEND?
"AND THEN NEXT WEEK I'LL TAKE THE GIRLS TO THE MOVIES,
AND I'LL TAKE THE GIRLS OUT." - RIGHT.
WELL, THIS IS A DIFFERENT SITUATION.
- IT'S INDICATIVE OF WHO SHE IS,
AND THEN IT SHOWS WHY SHE'S ALWAYS AT YOUR HOUSE.
THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY.
- AND WHAT I'M SAYING, I THINK IT'S A LITTLE WRONG
THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE KENNEDY WAS RIGHT NOW.
- I AGREE.
TAYLOR SHOULD KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN HER HOUSE,
WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR HER,
AND SHE SHOULD BE KEEPING TABS ON WHERE HER KID IS.
- ABSOLUTELY.
I WOULD NEVER NOT KNOW WHERE PORTIA IS,
I CAN TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW.
HOWEVER, I DON'T THINK SHE WAS EXACTLY
IN THE BEST FRAME OF MIND TONIGHT.
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID. - SHE WAS DRINKING?
- AS A PERSON IN SOBRIETY,
I'M CONCERNED THAT-- WHO IS THIS PERSON?
AND IS SHE SAFE?
- COMING UP...
- I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO I DO?"
- OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER, DOCTOR?
[overlapping chatter]
- HELLO. - HOW ARE YOU?
both: MWAH!
- WAIT, THE BETTER QUESTION IS, WHO IS IT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
KYLE SAYS SHE HASN'T SEEN HER AND ANY MEN.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S A WOMAN.
- YOU ARE SO FUNNY. YOU LOOK GOOD THOUGH.
BUT I THINK MY HUSBAND WOULD HAVE BEEN A--
DONE AS GOOD OF A JOB, IF NOT BETTER.
- NOW YOU KNOW WHY. - I KNOW.
- AS HIS WIFE, I KNOW SHE HAS TO SAY THAT.
BUT I FEEL LIKE IT WAS BETTER
IF I JUST DON'T MIX BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE.
- SHOULD GO-- - FABULOUS.
- JUST DO A CONSULTATION.
- YEAH, I THINK I'M GONNA ASK HIM.
- IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING REALLY SIMPLE.
YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN NEED SURGERY.
- THEY COULD GO IN AND TAKE OUT SOMETHING,
AND THEN IT WOULD JUST BE LIKE...
- DONE.
- I MEAN, I THINK THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
- NO, I LIKE MY NOSE.
BUT IT'S--I JUST ALWAYS HAVE HATED THAT.
SEE HOW IT GOES UP RIGHT THERE?
- YOU KNOW, MY HUSBAND WOULD KNOW IN ABOUT TWO SECONDS.
- YEAH, HE'S AMAZING. - I WANT IT--
I WANT IT-- I WANT YOURS.
LIKE, POINTY.
- HE DIDN'T DO MY NOSE, BUT HE IS A GREAT SURGEON.
- I SHOULD GO-- I SHOULD MAYBE GO SEE HIM.
- YOU SHOULD. - OH, THE DOCTOR'S HERE.
SAVED BY THE DOCTOR.
- HI. VLADIMIR.
- YOU GUYS, THIS IS DR. GRIGORYANTS.
all: HI. - AND HIS WIFE.
SO ARE YOU GONNA TAKE THE BANDAGE OFF?
I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!
[laughter]
HE'S HERE TO DELIVER THE BABY. - I KNOW.
- TONIGHT IS KIND OF A SPECIAL NIGHT
'CAUSE IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT...
MY BEAUTIFUL NOSE
THAT DR. GRIGORYANTS HAS, LIKE, MADE FOR ME.
BUT IN MY VERY SPECIAL HOME THAT I NOW CAN REALLY CALL--
I HAVEN'T CALLED ANYPLACE MY HOME IN A LONG TIME.
AND MAYBE--'CAUSE I WAS JUST TALKING TO KYLE--
MAYBE I REALLY HAVEN'T FELT AT HOME MYSELF,
INSIDE MYSELF.
I HAVE A NEW START WITH LIFE.
I'M WILLING TO WORK VERY HARD
FOR WHATEVER I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT
WITH THE PEOPLE I LOVE THE MOST.
ANYWAY, TONIGHT'S KIND OF A SPECIAL NIGHT,
'CAUSE FOR ME TO BRING EVERYBODY TOGETHER,
I'M JUST REALLY GLAD
I CAN HAVE YOU ALL IN MY SPECIAL SPACE.
- FOR SO LONG,
IT WAS A BIG, DARK, DIRTY SECRET IN MY FAMILY.
SHE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT,
I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT IT,
AND MY FAMILY JUST DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
SO HEARING HER BE OPEN TELLS ME SHE'S ON THE RIGHT PATH.
- YEAH, LET ME SEE. WAIT.
I'M GONNA GO SEE MY NEW NOSE,
AND THEN I'LL BRING IT OUTSIDE.
OKAY, I'LL BE OUTSIDE.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, NOW WAIT.
OKAY. - OH, MY GOD.
[overlapping chatter]
- ALL RIGHT. - OKAY.
- SO I'M JUST GONNA GENTLY ROLL THE Q-TIP UNDER THE TAPE.
I'M GONNA LOOSEN IT. - UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
- A LITTLE BIT UNCOMFORTABLE HERE.
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, IT'S COMING OFF.
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
- IT'S SORE. - SORE? THAT'S IT.
AND... THAT'S OFF.
- WOW.
- OH, MY GOD. - BROOKE, LOOK.
- OH, BROOKE BLOCKED ME.
[laughs]
WE'RE ALL STANDING THERE
LIKE IT'S A QUINCEANERA FOR A NOSE.
[laughs]
WHAT IS SHE DOING?
IS SHE...
- MOM! - I KNOW.
- GOD, KIM.
YOU'RE KILLING US.
- ALL MY FRIENDS ARE OUT THERE, AND I HEAR, "KIM! KIM! KIM!"
AND I'M LIKE... [gasps] WHAT DO I DO?
- WHAT A DOLL.
- I KNOW FOR SURE, BUT I'VE GOT SIX.
- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER, DR. GRIGORYANTS?
- I KNOW. WOW, YOU ARE GOOD.
[laughter]
- SHE LOOKS SO MUCH YOUNGER. - I KNOW.
- HEY.
- OOH, BEAUTIFUL. - OH, MY GOD.
- RIGHT? - OH, MY GOD.
[cheers and applause]
- OH, MY GOD. - GORGEOUS.
- I WANT TO SEE UP CLOSE!
- GORGEOUS. - OH, MY GOSH.
OH, MY GOD. - BEAUTIFUL JOB.
- IT'S GORGEOUS!
I MEAN... - IT DOES LOOK GOOD, YEAH.
- AND YOU LOOK STILL LIKE KIM.
- WOW. - AND THE SAME.
AND THAT'S WHAT'S SO GREAT. - YEAH, HE DID A GOOD JOB.
- IT LOOKS LIKE THIS HAD BARELY ANY SWELLING
AND NO BRUISING.
IT'S GONNA LOOK INCREDIBLE.
- I REALLY DIDN'T THINK
THAT KIM HAD A BAD NOSE TO BEGIN WITH.
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT FIT HER FACE, AND SHE LOOKED GREAT.
BUT MORE POWER TO HER, AND LET HER DO WHAT SHE WANTS.
- MY HUSBAND WOULD HAVE DONE JUST AS GOOD A JOB.
BUT IT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL, I HAVE TO SAY.
- YES, HE WOULD. - IT'S GORGEOUS.
- SO BEAUTIFUL. - OH, I LOVE IT!
- [gasps] - IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
CONGRATULATIONS. - IT'S PERFECT.
- FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE LIKE...
- IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A WEEK, RIGHT?
- IT'S ABOUT A WEEK NOW, YEAH.
- OH, MY GOD. [overlapping comments]
- REALLY, REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THAT WOULD DO JUST AS GOOD OF A JOB
IS MY HUSBAND.
- HE'D PROBABLY DO BETTER.
- NO, YOU DID A GOOD JOB.
SO I'LL TELL MY HUSBAND'S FAMILY.
THEY CAN ALL GO TO YOU NOW.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
- NO, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM--YEAH.
HE IS THE BEST. HE'S THE BEST.
YEAH. - TURN TO THE SIDE.
- OH, MY GOD, IT LOOKS GORGEOUS.
IT'S SO PRETTY.
- DOES IT FEEL STUFFED? YOUR NOSE?
- NO, I CAN BREATHE.
- YOU'RE LIKE... [imitates her breathing]
- I THINK IT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT LOOKS GOOD.
DOES IT? I DON'T KNOW.
- BEAUTIFUL JOB.
[overlapping comments]
- THIS IS THE BEST NOSE COMING-OUT PARTY
I'VE EVER BEEN TO.
[laughter]
- NO RUNNING!
NO RUNNING!
- WHAT ARE WE DOING? - CHRISTIAN!
[water splashes] NO! NO RUNNING!
- YOU CAN JUMP, BUT NO RUNNING.
- NO RUNNING. GO TO THE EDGE.
- NOW JUMP. OH!
- THERE YOU GO.
GOOD JOB, HONEY, GOOD JOB.
COME ON, WE'RE GONNA EAT.
[background chatter] - ADRIENNE!
DO YOU SMELL SMOKE? - SALLY, WHERE ARE THE BOYS?
[sniffs] OOH, THE SMELL!
- WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
OH, THERE IS SMOKE. THAT'S A FIRE.
WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S A FIRE.
THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.
[stammers] THAT'S LISA'S OLD HOUSE.
- OH, MY GOSH!
- DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD STAY HERE?
I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD STAY HERE.
I DON'T THINK IT'S SAFE.
HERE, I'M GONNA GO GET THE KIDS.
I'M LEAVING. - THERE HE GOES.
- THAT'S A BIG FIRE.
- OH, MY GOD! THEY CAN'T GET IN!
HOLY, [bleep].
THE WHOLE HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN.
- WE CAN'T-- LET'S GO BACK.
WE CAN'T SEE FROM HERE.
- OH, MY GOD, THAT'S HORRIBLE.
- THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOING DOWN. LET'S LOOK FROM THE TOP.
- THIS IS AWFUL.
OH, MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT! LOOK!
- ARE THEY TRYING TO GET IN THE FRONT DOOR?
- IT'S GETTING WORSE!
IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER. [overlapping chatter]
- I'M LEAVING. I'M TAKING THE KIDS.
LET'S JUST GO, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
- THERE IS NO IMMEDIATE DANGER TO OUR HOUSE.
IT'S MORE OF A PANIC MODE FOR ADRIENNE.
BETWEEN OUR HOUSE AND LISA'S OLD HOUSE
THERE'S HUNDREDS OF FIREMEN.
[coughing] WE GOT TO GO IN.
- WE'RE GONNA MELT DOWN THE CONES?
- GIVE ME THE KEYS. - ADRIENNE!
- COME ON, GUYS. - YOU CAN'T LEAVE!
- YEAH, COME ON. [overlapping chatter]
- MOM! - IT DOESN'T MATTER.
- YOU CAN'T LEAVE. - I'M LEAVING.
- ADRIENNE, THE WHOLE STREET'S BLOCKED OFF.
- LET'S GO. - YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
- I'M GONNA TRY ANYWAY.
- YOU CAN'T! - WHY?
- JUST, ADRIENNE-- - I'M GOING ANYWAY.
- ADRIENNE! - NO, I WANNA--I WANNA LEAVE.
- YOU CAN'T GET OUT, THOUGH. - GET IN!
- YOU CAN'T GET OUT.
- PAUL DOESN'T GET IN THE CAR WITH THE KIDS AND I.
WHAT IS HE THINKING?
- JUST WAIT A MINUTE.
- MOVE! MOVE! - COME HERE.
- WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT
THAN BEING WITH YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR CHILDREN?
I'M LEAVING. [overlapping chatter]
- LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
[sirens wailing]
- REALLY A BAD CHOICE.
[shutter clicking]
- CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WHOLE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.
THAT IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
- COMING UP...
- SEEING PAUL AT THE WHITE PARTY,
I'M FREAKING OUT, REALLY.
I'M NOT OKAY.
- COME ON, GUYS.
WANT TO HELP ME OUTSIDE?
MAYBE WE COULD USE THE SMALLER...
ON THESE, AND THE BIGGER ON THOSE.
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH, RIGHT?
- NO, ONLY HAVE THREE.
- OKAY, 'CAUSE I COUNTED WRONG. I'M SORRY.
TODAY IS MY WHITE PARTY.
AND, AS USUAL, MY DJ'S MISSING...
OH, MY GOD.
I DON'T LIKE THE FURNITURE THAT'S BEING DELIVERED.
I DON'T LIKE THE WAY THE LIGHTING FIXTURES LOOK.
I MEAN, HOW IN THE HECK
AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT FLOWERS OVER HERE?
I'M LOSING MY MIND.
GLENN, WE'RE NOT PUTTING A TABLE, SO PEOPLE--
WHO'S GONNA TAKE DOWN MY BASKETBALL NETS?
- DON'T WE HAVE TWO HOURS TO THE PARTY?
- GLENN, YOU'RE GIVING ME--
I NEED TO GET IN THE SHOWER SOON--I--HONEY!
HONEY, I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE SO HELPFUL.
- WHAT DO YOU NEED?
- FIRST OF ALL, I WANTED THE POOL TABLE OUT OF THE ROOM
SO WE COULD PUT COCKTAIL TABLES.
- WE CAN MOVE IT, BUT WE CAN'T GET IT OUT.
- WELL, WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO ME?
WAIT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE THINGS?
THEY LOOK LIKE EGGS. - THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE.
THEY'RE EGGS. - I DON'T WANT EGGS.
- I WANT BA--ROUND BALLS.
GONNA BE YOUR BALLS IN THE POOL
IN A MINUTE, IF THAT DOESN'T GET FIXED.
SO FAR, MY WHITE PARTY IS ALREADY A DISASTER.
NOTHING LOOKS RIGHT,
AND PAUL HAS NOT SEEN BRANDI SINCE THE BIG FIGHT.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
[air blowing]
GLENN? - YES?
- I'M--I'M-- - FANTASTIC, HUH?
- I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW.
- YOU'RE LOVIN' IT.
- [yelling] WHAT IS THAT?
- IT'S MEDUSA.
- GLENN, THAT IS AN OCTOPUS!
YOU HAVE TO BE [bleep] KIDDING ME.
- IT'S A UNICORN. IT'S A UNICORN.
- GLENN, YOU BLEW IT WITH THAT ONE--
BIG-TIME BLEW IT WITH THAT ONE.
THAT IS THE UGLIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
[deflates raspberry-like]
I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
- I'LL SEE YOU IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.
I GUESS WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THE OCTOPUS, GUYS.
- DON'T PULL ME, BECAUSE WHEN YOU PULL...
- MM-HMM. - I'LL FALL.
I'M TELLING YOU.
JUST GO SLOW.
I WAS VERY WORRIED
THAT THE FIRE WAS GOING TO JUMP,
AND WAS FORTUNATE
THAT NOTHING HAPPENED TO OUR HOME.
MY KIDS ARE SAFE, I'M SAFE.
- [grunts]
- BUT I AM LOOKING FORWARD NOW TO GOING TO THE WHITE PARTY.
- VERY NICE.
BEAUTIFUL DRESS. - THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK NICE TOO. - THANK YOU, MY BABY.
- I'M GOING TO THIS PARTY TO HAVE A NICE TIME.
BRANDI'S THERE.
[claps hands together]
HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
DEAL WITH IT.
I COULD REALLY CARE LESS ABOUT BRANDI.
[chattering in distance]
- CAN I HAVE A BESO?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
[both smooch]
- IT IS LOOKING SO BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE, KYLE.
OKAY, SO WHO'S ARRIVING FIRST? DO YOU KNOW?
- WELL, ADRIENNE'S ALWAYS LATE, SO WE KNOW SHE'LL BE LAST.
- OKAY.
- RIGHT? YEAH.
- SO I HAVEN'T SEEN THE GROUP IN QUITE A WHILE.
- WELL... - ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS...
- DO ME A FAVOR. - I CAN HOPEFULLY ENJOY MYSELF.
- [stammers] I CAN GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, HERE.
- YEAH, TELL ME, MY DARLING.
- DON'T GO TO HER LEVEL.
BE ABOVE THE FRAY.
DO NOT GO TO HER LEVEL, 'CAUSE SHE'S GONNA TRY...
IT'D BE GREAT TO MOVE ON.
BUT IF SHE CHOOSES NOT TO,
THEN SHE'S--THEN...
- DID YOU SPEAK TO OUR ATTORNEY?
- I DID, BECAUSE I ASKED HIM.
THEY--THEY SAID THAT THERE WAS A LETTER.
BRANDI SAID THERE WAS SOME LETTER THAT HE SENT.
- THERE WAS NO LETTER TO BRANDI.
- I HAVEN'T SEEN IT.
- HER MAKING ALL THESE COMMENTS,
THAT "YOU'RE SUING ME, A POOR MOTHER."
FIRST OF ALL, DOES THAT MEAN YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT,
BECAUSE YOU'RE A MOTHER?
OF COURSE NOT.
- I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO SOMEBODY ELSE...
FOR NO REASON, AND NOT ONLY THAT--
- YOU WOULD NEVER DO WHAT FOR SOMEBODY ELSE?
- DESTROY SOMEBODY'S REPUTATION. - OF COURSE NOT.
THAT'S NOT US.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT KARMA.
IT'S A...
- THE TEA WAS SO AWKWARD THE OTHER DAY.
I HAVE TO SAY. - IT WAS SO AWKWARD.
- EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.
I'M GLAD WE'LL GET A BIGGER GROUP TONIGHT,
SO IT WON'T BE A PROBLEM.
- ME TOO.
I MEAN, IF WE COULD JUST HAVE
A NICE, SWEET WHITE PARTY LIKE WE USED TO HAVE,
WHERE EVERYBODY HAD THE BEST TIME...
- WELL, LAST YEAR WAS THE WORST.
I WAS VERY HESITANT TO DO MY WHITE PARTY THIS YEAR.
LAST YEAR WAS A DISASTER.
[crying] - WHAT'S WRONG.
- [stammers] I GUESS THE EMAIL YOU SENT CAMILLE--
I GUESS, NOW HER LAWYERS ARE SAYING OR WHATEVER
THAT SHE CAN'T BE AROUND YOU GUYS.
AND IT'S LIKE THIS WHOLE... [sobs]
[speaking incoherently]
- DON'T CRY. - NO, I DO.
I FEEL REALLY BAD. - IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.
- BUT I'M NOT GONNA STOP DOING THIS
JUST BECAUSE OF BRANDI AND ADRIENNE'S FIGHT.
[overlapping chatter in distance]
- HELLO. - HI, LISA!
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD.
- THERE WAS A FIRE. - YEAH, THERE WAS A FIRE.
- WHERE? - SO I GET A CALL.
LIKE, IT ACTUALLY SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF ME.
BECAUSE SOMEBODY PHONED,
AND THEY SAID, "YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE."
- SO YOU THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR ACTUAL...
- SO I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD, YOU KNOW.
SO WE ONLY MOVED OUT OF IT A FEW MONTHS AGO.
AND MY DAUGHTER GOT MARRIED THERE JUST BEFORE.
SO IT WAS A LITTLE EMOTIONAL, REALLY.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.
THERE'S SO MANY HAPPY MEMORIES.
SO, OF COURSE, IT WAS REALLY UPSETTING
WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS RUINED.
IT'S RED-TAGGED THIS MORNING. - OH, IT IS RED-TAGGED.
- YEAH. - 18 FIREFIGHTERS.
- THAT IS SO SAD. - I KNOW. VERY STRANGE.
ANYWAY, WHO DO WE HAVE TO SLEEP WITH
TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE?
- HI. - HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. - IT'S PRETTY, RIGHT?
- LET ME ASK GLENN. - HI, HONEY.
- HELLO! - YOU LOOK SO NICE.
both: HOW ARE YOU? - [both kiss]
- I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? - I'M JUST FINE, ACTUALLY.
HELLO! EVERYBODY LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL.
HOW ARE YOU?
- I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY.
I'M FREAKING OUT, REALLY. I'M NOT OKAY.
- I ALWAYS TORTURE GLENN... - OH, LOOKS SO PRETTY.
- AND THROW A FIT AND ALMOST CRY.
- THE FUNNY THING IS SHE ALWAYS SAYS,
"I'M A MOTHER, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY."
BUT SHE ALWAYS HAS MONEY FOR PLASTIC SURGERY.
- LIKE I SAID... - NO, YOU CAN'T.
POSITIVE KARMA-- KARMA AND LIFE.
- I THINK WE'RE JUST ABOUT HERE. - THAT'S OKAY.
RELAX.
YOU KNOW WHAT? THINK OF KARMA.
KARMA AND LIFE.
- HMM.
[dance music]
♪ ♪
- MY BOYFRIEND'S HERE, BY THE WAY.
- OOH, WHICH IS YOUR BOYFRIEND? - HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.
- WHERE IS HE? - A REAL BOYFRIEND?
- NO, IN MY HEAD.
I THINK HE HAS A DATE, ALL OF A SUDDEN.
- OKAY, THAT COULD BE JUST A DATE.
I'LL INVESTIGATE. - HE'S SO HOT, SUPER HOT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, PERFECT.
- HE'S, LIKE, MY TYPE.
- I THINK HE'S EVERYONE'S TYPE. HE'S HOT.
- NO, BUT I LIKE LATIN. YOU KNOW ME.
HE'S GOT, LIKE, A SEXY GAP IN HIS TEETH
THAT I JUST WANT TO SUCK ON.
- OH, WAIT, I'M SORRY, I WAS...[mutters, laughs]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- THERE ARE SEVEN BEDROOMS IN THIS HOUSE.
- FANTASTIC.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S...
- BE ABLE TO-- DO WE EVEN--
- WHOA! A BUG JUST-- - I HAVE A SUGGESTION.
- HOLD ON, A BUG JUST FLEW IN MY SHIRT.
- OOH, IT'S RIGHT THERE. - GET IT! GET IT!
- I GOT IT. - THAT'S MY HAIR.
- [laughs] - THAT'S OKAY.
- HELLO. - HI.
- OH, ARE YOU ON THE LIST? LET ME CHECK.
[laughs]
- THIS IS MY FRIEND ETIRSA, THIS IS JENNIFER.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU. - HI, GUYS.
- IT'S SO WEIRD.
IT'S HARD TO HUG IN WHITE,
BECAUSE WE'RE ALWAYS AFRAID... - I KNOW, RIGHT?
WE'RE ALWAYS AFRAID THAT... - HELLO.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL DRESS.
- THANK YOU. - YOU TOO, WITH THIS...
- I'M HOPING THAT THE PARTY IS BIG ENOUGH
THAT PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO SEE EACH OTHER
CAN SORT OF DISAPPEAR.
- [laughs nervously] - I HOPE SO.
- ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A FUN NIGHT?
- WE ARE HAVING FUN. - NO STRESS?
- REALLY? - I--BELIEVE ME.
- I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT.
- I'M GONNA BE IN THE POOL LATER.
I HAVE A LITTLE SOFA PUT IN THE POOL.
- REALLY?
- I'M GONNA BE IN THAT POOL LATER.
- OH, GOOD. - WE MIGHT BE JOINING YOU.
UNLESS WE GET PUSHED IN FOR SOME REASON.
- LET'S HOPE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN.
- WELL, DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD HAVE TEQUILA?
- I KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GET YOU.
ADRIENNE AND I ARE GONNA HAVE TEQUILA JELLITO.
- JUST HALF A SHOT.
- THIS IS A TINY LITTLE SHOT.
- OKAY, SO CAN YOU ADD
A LITTLE BIT OF GRAPEFRUIT TO THAT?
- JUST TRY THIS. both: CHEERS.
- SALUD. ARRIBA. - SALUD.
- [speaking Spanish slowly]
- OH, YEAH.
WOW, THAT'S STRONG. - YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE.
[overlapping chatter]
- HI, LADIES. - HOW ARE YOU?
- I KNOW, TOO MUCH...
- I KNOW, ALL OVER MY WHITE CHAIR.
- I KNOW, ME TOO.
- NOT ON MY WHITE CHAIR. - DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?
- OH, DID I DO IT? OH, I'M SORRY.
MY TANNING STUFF?
- ADRIENNE HAS LEFT BROWN MAKEUP ALL OVER MY COUCH
THAT I HAD TO RECOVER ABOUT 18 MONTHS AGO.
I NEVER MENTIONED IT.
THIS TIME, AT THE TEA PARTY,
WHEN SHE GOT OFF THE WHITE CHAIR,
KYLE AND BRANDI WERE LIKE... [gasps]
THAT'S OKAY. - IT'LL COME OUT.
IT'LL COME OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO?
USE BABY WIPES.
'CAUSE I GOT IT ALL OVER.
- OH, NO IT WAS-- - IT'S SELF-TANNER.
- I KNOW, BUT IT COMES OFF. - NO, NO, NO.
BUT IT'S THE SELF-TANNER THAT YOU BRONZE...
- IT'S A DARK BROWN IMPRINT.
THIS DARK BROWN STAIN ALL THE WAY
FROM THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM.
AND EVEN ON ONE CHAIR,
WHERE SHE'D RESTED FOR A SECOND,
THE TOP WAS DARK BROWN.
- HOW BIG WAS IT? - THE WHOLE THING.
SO, YEAH, I'M POINTING OUT TO HER
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME IT'S HAPPENED.
- NO, BUT HOW BIG WAS THE IMPRINT?
- HUGE.
- THE STAIN WAS HUGE?
WELL, I USE-- WHEN YOU SPRAY TAN,
YOU SPRAY TAN YOUR WHOLE BODY.
- ANYWAY...
[overlapping chatter]
- THANK YOU. - OKAY.
- MM, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
I LOVE SEEING YOU GUYS, EVERY--EVERY YEAR.
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
HEY! HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, MY GOD, YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU, ARE YOU-- DO YOU KNOW LEEANN?
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
DON'T THINK YOU'VE EVER MET LEEANN.
- I'M SERIOUS. WELL, LET ME JUST TELL YOU--
FINISH TELLING YOU HOW GOOD YOU LOOK.
- REALLY? OH, YEAH, WAIT.
- NO, YOU LOOK GREAT. - RIGHT?
- JOHNNY!
- BRO, HOW ARE YOU?
[indistinct chatter]
[overlapping chatter]
- TAYLOR, WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER NIGHT?
- I REKINDLED WITH AN OLD FRIEND.
HE CALLED ME-- I HAD A MEETING
RIGHT BEFORE I WAS SUPPOSED TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE--
AND HE SAID, "I NEED TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW."
AND HE SAID, "I'M LEAVING TONIGHT,
AND I WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME."
AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY."
BECAUSE I'M CRAZY.
BUT IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS GREAT.
SO EVEN IF IT NEVER GOES ANYWHERE,
IT WAS JUST NICE TO HAVE--
TO HOLD HANDS WITH A GUY
AND HAVE THEM, LIKE, OPEN SOME DOORS FOR ME
AND ORDER MY DINNER FOR ME.
AND I WAS THINKING, "I FORGOT WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE."
- RIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE DIDN'T FEEL
ANY KIND OF A NEED TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED.
- YEAH. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN?
- I DON'T KNOW. - YOU DON'T KNOW?
YOU SPENT THREE DAYS WITH HIM.
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
- SHE SHOULD HAVE SAID,
"IT WAS A LITTLE CHAOTIC THE OTHER NIGHT,
AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER."
BUT, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING TO LET ALL OF US KNOW...
THAT WHAT HAPPENED WAS NOT OKAY.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU HAD FUN.
I WAS A LITTLE BIT WORRIED WHEN YOU CALLED.
I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD.
BUT I'M GLAD YOU HAD FUN. - I DID.
I HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME. - ALL RIGHT.
- THANKS FOR CHECKING ON ME. - OKAY.
REALLY? LIKE...
SOMETHING'S REALLY WRONG.
- I'M TRYING TO KEEP MY ACT TOGETHER.
[overlapping chatter]
- COMING UP...
- CAN'T YOU JUST--
- I DON'T HAVE OVER $10,000 TO SPEND ON THIS.
- THEN WATCH WHAT YOU SAY.
- WELCOME TO
THE UNITED [bleep] STATES OF AMERICA.
- OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
WHAT ARE THOSE?
[both laughing]
- THESE ARE HARD TO WALK IN. - I KNOW.
- THEY HAVE, LIKE, A TOE-STOPPER.
- I KNOW. - THEY'RE NOT FLAT.
THEY GO UP. - I KNOW.
AND YOUR TOE GOES NUMB. - LOOK AT THIS.
- ARE YOU WEARING THE SAME SHOES?
- BUT MINE ARE SLING-BACK.
- YOU WERE AT FRICKING NEIMANS YESTERDAY,
FOLLOWING ME. - NO, MINE ARE SLING-BACK.
NO, I'VE HAD THESE-- GOD THESE--
- [imitative] I'VE HAD THESE FOR EVER!
- OH, YOU GOT THEM IN THE SALE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- SHE'S HAD THOSE FOR A LONG TIME.
- [giggles]
- YOU HAVE-- - SEE HOW WORN MINE ARE?
- THESE AREN'T FIRST-TIMERS.
- OH! MINE HAS A BIG, BLACK BLOB.
I WIN.
- OH, YOURS HAS GOT A RED STICKER ON, FOR SALE.
- OH, MY GOD, WE HAVE A FASHION EMERGENCY.
- OH, MY-- [both laugh]
- THIS IS A DISASTER.
SOMEONE'S GOT TO TAKE 'EM OFF. - GO AND CHANGE.
- YOU. - NO, YOU.
[both laugh]
[overlapping chatter]
- MOVE OVER. - OKAY.
[screams]
[laughs]
NOW HOW DO WE GET OUT? - WE DON'T.
[kisses]
- I LOVE YOU.
[both kissing]
[overlapping chatter]
- MARISA. - I LOOK LIKE HER.
- DID YOU HEAR--YOU HEARD ABOUT THE FIRE, RIGHT?
- YEAH, I HEARD. - IT WAS SO CLOSE.
I AM TELLING YOU, I THOUGHT I HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING.
TILL YOU SEE A FIRE, AND YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO IT--
IT WENT FROM ZERO TO A HUNDRED WITHIN SECONDS.
- YOU JUST TOOK EVERYBODY AND LEFT, RIGHT?
- BECAUSE YOU DON'T-- I WENT TO MY MOM'S HOUSE.
[overlapping chatter]
- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD.
YOU LOOK PRETTY. - YOUR NOSE LOOKS AMAZING.
- I MEAN, IT FEELS GOOD. ARNICA IS--
- ALSO ARNICA-- - NO, THEY SAID ARNICA'S NOT.
- BROMELAIN, IT'S LIKE THAT. THAT'S GOOD.
WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD. - THANK YOU.
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
- SEEING PAUL AT THE WHITE PARTY,
I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY.
I DON'T LIKE UNDERLYING TENSION.
- GOOD FOR YOU. - I'M SORRY YOU COULDN'T
COME THE OTHER NIGHT. - I KNOW, RIGHT?
- I WOULD HAVE INVITED YOU, MARTIN, BUT IT WAS ALL WOMEN.
- WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I LOVE THAT.
- OTHERWISE, YOU COULD HAVE PUT ON A LITTLE DRESS.
- THAT'S MY FAVORITE ENVIRONMENT.
- I KNOW. - EXCUSE ME FOR ONE SECOND.
- NOW, YOU'RE SCARING ME AS WELL.
- NO, IT'S NOT SCARY.
- LISA HAD MENTIONED TO ME, WITH THE HOUSE,
THAT I HAD SAT DOWN, I HAD SELF-TANNER ON--
SHE SAID, "BY THE WAY..." - NO, SHE NOTICED?
- "YOU LEFT A WHOLE..." - SHE NOTICED?
- I SAW IT TOO.
- WE DIDN'T LOOK DOWN. YOU JUST LOOK AHEAD.
- WELL, SOMEBODY LOOKED DOWN. - [laughing]
- I DON'T LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE
UNLESS I'M WILLING TO PICK THEM UP.
- AGREED. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT.
- I DIDN'T REALIZE
I WAS GONNA GET THIS ANXIOUS WHEN I SAW PAUL,
BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN PAUL
SINCE THE LAST TIME, WHEN HE WENT CRAZY.
- I DON'T GET IT. NO. - GET YOUR HEAD...UHH!
- GO AHEAD, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME?
- AND I SAW HIM,
AND I LITERALLY BEELINED FOR THE CORNER.
- DID HE-- - AND, LIKE, IT GIVES ME--
I'M VERY SCARED.
I'M NOT SCARED, BUT, LIKE--
- VERY ANXIOUS ABOUT IT.
- I WOULD RATHER JUST HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER.
I DON'T WANT IT TO GET UGLY.
BUT IF SHE WANTED TO GO IN, LET'S SAY,
THE MOVIE THEATER WITH ME AND TALK ABOUT THIS,
I WOULD DO IT.
- OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU SAY TO HER
"CAN WE TALK ON OUR OWN, PLEASE?"
- [exhales] - SAY, "PAUL--"
SAY, "I'M ON MY OWN.
THIS IS JUST BETWEEN ADRIENNE AND I."
- I DON'T KNOW. HE'S A SCARY MAN.
I'M HOPING TO GET TO SPEAK TO ADRIENNE ALONE,
BECAUSE TWO ON ONE, THAT DYNAMIC,
IS VERY INTIMIDATING TO ME.
[laughs]
[dance music]
♪ ♪
I JUST NEEDED A BREAK FROM THE ANXIETY.
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A--
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN THE PARTY.
I DON'T WANT IT TO BE A DRAMA.
I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER.
[groans] I'M HAVING--
LIKE, I THINK I AM HAVING, LIKE--
- ANXIETY? - YEAH.
- AN ANXIETY ATTACK? YEAH.
- LIKE, I FEEL LIKE IF I WALK UP TO HER
AND ASK HER TO COME AND TALK TO ME--
DO YOU WANT TO DO IT? - YEAH, SURE.
- WILL YOU? I LOVE HER. SHE'LL DO ANYTHING.
SHE'S SO FUNNY.
- ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO TALK.
- DON'T MOVE MY PURSE. - THANK YOU.
- IT'S NOT GONNA BE A FAIR FIGHT.
BATTLE OF THE WITS BETWEEN BRANDI AND ADRIENNE?
I MEAN, ADRIENNE'S UNARMED.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- BRANDI WOULD LIKE TO TALK.
CALM, VERY CALM.
- I KNEW IT. - WHAT?
- SHE SENT YOU OVER TO DO BRANDI'S JOB.
- NO. - WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
- WHAT'S THE QUESTION?
- BRANDI WOULD LIKE TO HAVE CALM WORDS.
- WITH WHO? - WITH ADRIENNE.
- ALONE OR WITH ME?
- JUST ALONE. - NO, PROBABLY NOT.
BRANDI SENDS SOME FRIEND,
SOME PERSON THAT WE'VE NEVER MET,
TO COME SUMMON ADRIENNE TO COME TALK TO HER.
WHICH I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN.
AND I'M NOT GONNA LET ADRIENNE GO ALONE.
- OH, HERE SHE COMES.
- WELL, TWO AGAINST ONE.
- I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE A GIANT CONFRONTATION
WITH ADRIENNE AND PAUL.
I WANTED TO HAVE A CIVIL CONVERSATION WITH ADRIENNE.
- HI, PAUL, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE THE LAST TIME,
SO A LITTLE NERVOUS, SEEING YOU.
- WE'RE ALL A LITTLE NERVOUS.
- I DON'T WANT TO RUIN ANYONE'S PARTY.
AND I ACTUALLY DON'T WANT TO HAVE ISSUES WITH YOU GUYS.
AND I'VE SAID THIS ABOUT YOU GUYS.
I LIKED YOU GUYS BEFORE.
- I JUST WANT TO SETTLE--
A LETTER IS DIFFERENT THAN A LAWSUIT.
- BUT I HAD TO HIRE A LAWYER TO HANDLE THIS.
- WELL, I HAD TO TOO. - BUT WHY?
- BECAUSE I WAS HEARING THINGS THAT YOU WERE SAYING.
AND HE WAS HEARING THESE THINGS THAT YOU WERE SAYING.
- I FEEL LIKE SHE LIES A LOT, AND THEN...
- ADRIENNE IS REALLY PROTECTIVE OVER HER FAMILY.
THIS IS GONNA BE A BIG PROBLEM.
- SO OBVIOUSLY WE BOTH HAD TO HIRE LAWYERS.
- I DIDN'T WANT TO HIRE A LAWYER.
- I DIDN'T EITHER.
- I HIRED A LAWYER BECAUSE I HAVE A--
- I DIDN'T WANT TO HIRE A LAWYER EITHER.
- IF SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HIRE A LAWYER,
WHY DID SHE HIRE A LAWYER? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
- HONEY, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
- THEN WHY HAVE I PAID A LAWYER OVER $10,000?
- WHY HAVE I PAID A LAWYER? - I HAVE NO IDEA.
- BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DO WITH YOU.
IT HAS TO DO WITH WHAT YOU SAID. - LET'S MAKE THIS EASY.
- IT'S ABOUT TWITTER. IT'S ABOUT OTHER THINGS
THAT YOU'VE SAID. - SEE, BRANDI--
- I CAN PROVE THAT TOO, THOUGH. - WE FEEL DIFFERENTLY.
I CAN PROVE IT TOO.
- WAIT A MINUTE, WE'RE NOT LITIGIOUS.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO OUT--
"LET'S GO OUT AND SUE SOMEONE."
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE NOT "LITIGIOUS"?
OH, MY GOSH. - BECAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT?
- NO, WE DON'T DO THAT. - I JUST SAID--
- I WAS ASKED A QUESTION, 100%. - RELAX.
- KYLE ASKED ME, "WHAT ARE YOUR ISSUES WITH ADRIENNE?" AND I--
- WHAT ARE YOUR ISSUES WITH ADRIENNE?
- SHE SAID I WAS TRASH. - NO.
- AND THAT I SLEEP TILL 3:00. - NO, I NEVER SAID THAT.
- AND THAT I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. - WHO SAID THAT?
- YOU DID. - TO WHO THOUGH?
- TO YOU? I WOULD CALL YOU TRASH?
- YES. - WHEN? TO YOUR FACE?
- DID YOU HEAR IT FROM A THIRD PARTY?
- NOT TO MY FACE--YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING TO MY FACE.
YOU'RE HIRING A LAWYER TO DO IT. - OH, COME ON, THAT'S NOT NICE.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S TRUE!
- THAT'S NOT NICE. - YOU USE BERNIE.
AND YOU USE LAWYERS. - OKAY, THEN SHOW US.
BECAUSE YOUR LAWYER COULDN'T PRODUCE IT TO OUR LAWYER.
- YES, HE CAN! - NO, HE CAN'T.
- GET ME A COPY OF THIS LETTER FROM BERNIE.
- WHAT LETTER? - I HAVE SOMETHING FROM BERNIE.
- NO, FROM BERNIE.
AND IF THAT'S THE CASE, IF YOU DID SOMETHING,
WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THAT OBVIOUSLY.
- I HAVE THOSE. THE RADAR ONLINE AND TO--
- NO, NO. TO BERNIE DIRECTLY.
- NO, NO, NO, NO. - FROM BERNIE.
- FROM BERNIE.
SOMEBODY FROM RADAR ONLINE SAID IT WAS BERNIE?
- BRANDI IS TELLING US THAT BERNIE IS...
SELLING STORIES ABOUT HER.
OBVIOUSLY, IF HE'S DOING IT,
THEN, YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T HAVE HIM AROUND US ANYMORE.
WE WOULDN'T WANT SOMEONE AROUND WHO'S ACTUALLY SELLING STORIES.
'CAUSE THAT'S NOT GOOD.
THEY CAN SELL STORIES ABOUT ANYBODY.
OKAY, HOLD ON.
- SO FAR, SO GOOD. NO PROBLEMS.
[Lisa murmuring]
BUT I THOUGHT ADRIENNE AND BRANDI WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS.
[both laughing]
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
TAYLOR ARMSTRONG. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S A YEAR? - NO.
- YOU KNOW MY OPINION?
I THINK IT'S KIND OF HYPOCRITICAL, REALLY.
BECAUSE ADRIENNE AND PAUL WERE STANDING UP
REFUSING RUSSELL AND TAYLOR AND SAYING THEY HAD TO LEAVE,
AND IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME SITUATION.
I MEAN, IT WAS, KYLE.
NOBODY FILED A LAWSUIT.
- SO, WELL, ADRIENNE SAYS SHE'S NEVER FILED.
- NO, BUT NOR HAD RUSSELL.
THEY JUST SENT-- THEY JUST SENT A LETTER
WITH AN INTENT TO SUE. AND EVERYBODY GOT SO UPSET
AND SAID YOU CAN'T COME IN THE PARTY.
- CAMILLE DIDN'T WANT TO BE IN FRONT OF
TAYLOR AND RUSSELL.
- WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK BRANDI FEELS WHEN--
I MEAN, CAMILLE HAD MONEY TO FIGHT IT AT LEAST.
BRANDI HAS NOTHING TO FIGHT IT, YOU KNOW.
AND SUDDENLY SHE'S SPENT $10,000 JUST TRYING TO DEFEND HERSELF
AGAINST THE LETTERS WITH INTENT TO SUE.
IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME. - THEY'LL WORK IT OUT.
- SO YOU HAVE TO GO AND THROW ADRIENNE OUT
AND SAY, "RULES ARE RULES."
- NO, LISTEN, I TOLD EVERYBODY, FLAT OUT,
I INVITE EVERYONE TO MY PARTIES.
I'M NOT GONNA GO THROUGH
WHAT I WENT THROUGH LAST YEAR OKAY?
- THIS IS ALL-- THIS IS THE OTHER STUFF.
THIS HAS TO DO WITH ME AND MY BILLS
AND WHAT I PAID OUT-- THE THREATENING OF THE LAWSUIT.
WHAT? - THERE'S NO LAWSUIT.
- THERE IS NO LAWSUIT. - THERE'S NO LAWSUIT. STOP.
- THEN WHY AM I PAYING A BILL?
- STOP. [overlapping chatter]
- IT SAYS THAT IF SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP TO THE MEETING
THAT THE LAWYER WOULD GO ABOUT SUING HER.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
- NO, NO. THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I HAVE NOT TAKEN LEGAL ACTION AGAINST HER.
WHAT'S LEGAL ACTION?
TALKING WITH YOUR LAWYER.
EVERYBODY TALKS TO THE LAWYER.
I'M HAPPY TO GIVE YOU ALL OF THIS.
- IS THAT TO YOU, OR IS THAT TO YOUR FRIEND?
BUT THAT'S NOT TO YOU.
- WAS SHE WARNED?
YES.
- WHAT WERE YOU SAYING YOU TRIED TO SAY TO ME
AT THE TEA PARTY? - I WAS SAYING AT THE TEA PARTY,
AND I SAID THIS TO YOU TODAY, IT WAS THE SA--
I FEEL AS THOUGH IT WAS THE SAME SCENARIO
AS LAST YEAR
WHEN RUSSELL WROTE CAMILLE A LETTER
THAT THREATENED TO SUE IF SHE DIDN'T RETRACT WHAT SHE SAID.
IT'S BASICALLY THE SAME THING AS ASKING BRANDY
TO RETRACT WHAT SHE SAID WITH THE THREAT OF A LAWSUIT.
IS IT OR IS IT NOT? - YEAH.
- OKAY. - SHE'S A HYPOCRITE.
- EVEN THOUGH I CAN UNDERSTAND
HOW UPSET PAUL AND ADRIENNE HAVE BEEN WITH BRANDI,
I DO AGREE THERE ARE SIMILARITIES.
AND, YOU KNOW, THERE SHOULDN'T BE A DOUBLE STANDARD.
FRIENDS SHOULDN'T SUE FRIENDS.
- I DON'T HAVE OVER $10,000 TO SPEND ON THIS STUFF.
- HERE'S THE ISSUE. - I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT--
- THEN WATCH WHAT YOU DO THEN. - WATCH WHAT YOU SAY.
- YOU CANNOT--GUESS WHAT. - YOU CAN SAY,
"I DON'T LIKE SOMEONE." - ARE YOU JOKING?
- JUST WATCH YOURSELF. - I'M NOT GONNA WATCH MYSELF.
- THEN THAT'S UP TO YOU. - NO, NO, NO.
- ALL I SAID WAS THE TRUTH,
SO IT'S NOT SLANDER, SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
MAYBE THEY SHOULD WATCH WHAT THEY LIE ABOUT.
- HOW ABOUT IF, LIKE, NOBODY EVER SUES ANYBODY.
HOW ABOUT THAT? IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED.
IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.
- OH, YES, IT IS.
AND CHEERS. [chuckles]
- YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON,
BECAUSE YOU JUST SAY WHATEVER YOU HEAR.
- YOU JUST SAY WHATEVER'S ON YOUR MIND.
- WELCOME TO
THE UNITED [bleep] STATES OF AMERICA.
- EVERY SINGLE-- LET'S STOP.
[overlapping chatter]
- STOP, STOP, STOP.
- LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M JUST THE LITTLE GUY.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LIVES IN THE GAZILLION-DOLLAR HOUSE.
LEAVE ME THE [bleep] ALONE.
- COMING UP...
- DO YOU WANT TO START AGAIN WITH US NOW TOO?
- OH, MY GOD.
- NO, YOU FINISH YOUR--
- THEN YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
- BULL[bleep], AND THEN WE'LL TALK.
- MY BULL[bleep]?
[dance music]
- LET'S BE MATURE HERE.
- JUST DO ME ONE FAVOR.
BEFORE YOU TWEET SOMETHING, CALL ADRIENNE,
SAY, "ADRIENNE, DID YOU DO BAH, BAH, BAH?"
- RIGHT. both: IS THAT OKAY?
- I DON'T WANT TO PAY MY LAWYER ANYTHING ELSE.
- THERE IS NONE. - IT'S OKAY.
- I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE IN HERE RIGHT NOW,
BECAUSE WE'RE FINISHING THIS UP.
THIS WAS A DISCUSSION BETWEEN BRANDI AND THE TWO OF US.
THAT'S ALL IT SHOULD BE.
- THERE'S ALWAYS THREE SIDES TO A STORY, AND SO--
- I ALWAYS FEEL, THOUGH, THAT THE TRUTH HAS ONE STORY.
- THE TRUTH HAS ONE STORY?
- NO, TO ME, THAT'S NOT A NEGATIVE THING TO SAY.
I'M SAYING THE TRUTH HAS ONE STORY.
- THERE'S ALWAYS THREE SIDES TO THE STORY.
- FRIENDS DO NOT SUE FRIENDS.
WE COULD HAVE TAKEN UMBRAGE
AGAINST BERNIE AND YOU FOR WHAT YOU SAID.
WE DIDN'T. WHY WOULD WE?
- DO YOU WANT TO START AGAIN WITH US NOW TOO?
- OH, MY GOD. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BERNIE?
BERNIE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
- YOU FINISH YOUR BULL[bleep], AND THEN WE'LL TALK.
- MY BULL[bleep]?
- STOP. - IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?
I MEAN, COME ON.
- ADRIENNE SAID THAT MY WIFE SOLD STORIES
TO THE NEWSPAPER. - YES.
- AND THAT'S AFFECTING MY BUSINESS.
I DIDN'T SUE YOU, DID I? - AND VICE VERSA.
- NOTHING, VICE VERSA.
- WAIT A MINUTE. "MALOOF HOOF"?
I MEAN, THAT DOESN'T AFFECT HER BUSINESS AND HER SHOES?
- THOSE SHOES:
I WOULD DEFINITELY CALL IT THE "MALOOF HOOF."
- COME ON! - THAT MADE YOUR SHOE.
- OH, IT MADE YOUR SHOES?
YOU KNOW, COME ON.
- I LOVE HIM, AND I LOVE HIM.
- LISTEN TO TAYLOR.
- I WANT YOU TO ACKNOWLEDGE
THAT THERE WAS A SIMILARITY BETWEEN WHAT YOU DID
AND WHAT RUSSELL CHOSE TO DO.
- NO, NO, NO. - YES, THERE IS.
IT'S THE SAME THING. - I'M SORRY, BUT THERE'S NOT.
- AT LAST YEAR'S WHITE PARTY,
ADRIENNE AND PAUL REALLY LED THE CHARGE
OF HOW WRONG IT WAS FOR FRIENDS TO SUE FRIENDS.
- WHAT REALLY SUCKS ABOUT THIS IS FRIENDS DON'T SUE FRIENDS
OR THREATEN TO SUE FRIENDS.
- HYPOCRITE?
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE SIMILARITIES?
- NO, I DON'T, I DON'T.
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TO RECOGN--WE DON'T.
- PAUL, THERE WASN'T A LAWSUIT
LAST YEAR WITH RUSSELL, IT WAS JUST AN EMAIL.
AND YOU ASKED HER TO GET KICKED OUT OF THIS PARTY.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DWIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT, ALL RIGHT?
SO WHY DON'T YOU BUZZ OFF?
- I DON'T WANT ANYBODY IN MY HOME
FEELING THEY'RE ATTACKED, OKAY?
I REALLY DON'T. - THANK YOU, KYLE.
- I GUESS SHE JUST GETS TO GET AWAY WITH IT
BECAUSE SHE'S IN A MORE POWERFUL POSITION THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
- LET'S PAY BRANDI'S LAWYER'S FEES,
AND WE'LL ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
- YOU'RE TOUCHING ME FOR ME TO PAY FOR IT?
- YEAH, BECAUSE YOU SUED HER.
- WHY DON'T YOU PAY FOR IT? - YOU SUED HER, I DIDN'T.
- WE DIDN'T SUE HER. THERE'S NO LAWSUIT.
YOU PAY FOR IT!
WHAT, IS SHE YOUR DAUGHTER NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN?
OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND? OR WHATEVER THE HECK SHE IS.
THE THREE OF YOU HANGING OUT ALL THE TIME?
THERE'S NO LAWSUIT.
[overlapping chatter]
- BEFORE WE ALL WALKED IN THE ROOM,
WEREN'T YOU MAKING PROGRESS?
- YES, THEY WERE.
- OKAY, EVERYBODY, I'M DONE.
- I DON'T THINK THEY'LL EVER ADMIT THEY WERE WRONG
OR THAT THEY STARTED IT.
BUT I WAS HAPPY THAT I SPOKE MY PIECE, AND I WAS DONE.
- COME ON. - LET'S GET DANCE.
WE'RE GOING--I'M TAKING MY BOYFRIEND TO DANCE.
- THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR BOYFRIEND. - HE IS MY BOYFRIEND.
- HE IS, ACTUALLY. - FRIENDS SHOULDN'T SUE FRIENDS.
- THEY'RE HORRIBLE.
THEY'RE DISGUSTING.
- NEXT TIME,
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I BELIEVE TAYLOR HAS A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING.
I'M NOT GONNA SUGARCOAT IT OR BE AFRAID TO TELL YOU.
I DO RECOGNIZE WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY THAT HAS A PROBLEM.
- CHEERS. TO A WONDERFUL WEEK IN PARIS.
[cheering]
- VOOM, VOOM, SHE-***.
- WHAT TIME DID YOU GET HERE, KIM?
- I'VE BEEN HERE FOR DAYS, LISA.
- SHE SEEMS TO NOT BE THAT LUCID.
- WOW. WHOO. FEEL LIKE MARILYN.
- THE KIM I'M SEEING TONIGHT
IS NOT THE KIM I'VE BEEN SEEING
FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.