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Hi, everyone. I'm Jade. And this is Bear. Say hello, Bear. "Hi, guys." Have you had
any ideas about what to make a lesson on today, Bear? "I'd like to know more about
conversation skills." Conversation skills, yeah. That's a great idea. We haven't
spoken about that before. Is there a particular thing about conversation skills that
you want to talk about? "Well, sometimes, when I'm having a conversation, I feel
nervous, and I don't know what to say." Yeah, yeah. Common problems. Nerves and
just not knowing what to say. What do you talk about in a conversation? So I can
definitely help you with that, Bear, and the viewers as well. So we'll look at what to
say, and I'll give you some tips and advice for having a conversation in English.
Does that sound good? "Yeah, that sounds great. Let's get started." Let's get
started. Right. Are you listening? To have a good conversation,
there are three rules you need to follow. Let's take a look at those
rules. I want you to hold them for me, Bear. Thank you very much. And let's go through
them one by one. Rule No. 1, to have a great conversation,
just keep it simple. People sometimes put themselves under a lot of stress to have amazing
conversations that are very intelligent, and you say very original things
in the conversation. But actually, most conversation isn't like that. It's about everyday
things, and you're saying things you said hundreds of times before. You're not
saying original ideas at all. Everyday conversation is very simple. And I advise
you to keep it simple if you're somebody who suffers with anxiety when you're talking
in English because if you keep it simple, you just don't have to worry. You
already have all the words and all the phrases that you need. Why not keep it simple?
Rule No. 2, for a great conversation, follow the rule of a flowing conversation. Let
the conversation go here and there and flow wherever it likes. The best
conversations are ones that are not planned. You can prepare for a conversation by
thinking of some topic that you want to talk about. But you really must still respect
the flow of the conversation. It's quite awkward when you talk to someone and
instead of respect the flow of conversation, they are changing the subject; they are
talking about completely random things; and they are forcing that flow to go their
way. And it doesn't really work. It's not smooth. So you need to accept that you
cannot control everything in a conversation. But if you keep it simple and allow it to
flow, there's not really any reason to be nervous when you're having a conversation.
So bear that in mind. "Bear" that in mind! [Laughs]
Rule No. 3 for having a great conversation in English or any language, it must be
equal. By "equal", I mean that in any conversation it's more than just one person.
It's flowing here, then there, then back again. And the conversation is in constant
movement from person to person. It's not a conversation if it's just one person
speaking. But actually, quite often, you'll find in life that that's what it turns out
to be; a conversation is you listening to someone
go on and on about things. Well, I have to remind you here that that's not a
conversation. If one person's talking all the time, it's not an enjoyable interaction
for both people. So I don't count it as a conversation. You will sometimes find this.
When you meet someone who you think is amazing -- for example if you met one of
the famous people you admire or someone you admire in general, you would probably
just be asking them questions. You're showing them respect. You just want
to eat up all their words because you're amazed to eat them. But that's not an everyday
situation. Wherever you just one person talking to others, it's always because
there's an issue of authority. So someone's in control, and others are below.
And that's why conversation isn't happening. Speech is going in one direction.
So know that when you are talking to your friends, let the conversation flow equally.
And you need to help that flow, which means sometimes you'll need to ask questions,
and sometimes you'll need to share your own experience because if your friend
is talking, talking, talking because they like to talk, and you're just listening, you
are not pulling your weight in the conversation. You have to work a little bit
harder. So we've got three rules for conversation
here. Now, we need to put them into practice. So we are going to have a simple,
flowing, and equal conversation, Bear. What do you think about that? "I'm a little
bit nervous." It's completely normal to be nervous when you're not used to doing something
especially in front of the camera. But I believe in you, Bear. So we're going
to give this a shot. Are you ready? "Let's do this."
Q. Bear, do you want to start the conversation, or should I?
A. Can you start it, please? Q. Yeah. All right, I'll start it. Hey, Bear!
How's it going? A. I'm good, thanks. What about you?
Q. Yeah, I'm well. Things are good for me right now. What have you been up to?
A. Well, I've been at work. I haven't stopped working. I've been really swept off my
feet. Q. Oh, yeah? What are you working on at the
moment? A. Well, I've just got into the fashion biz,
and I've been working as a fashion stylist. Q. Oh, yeah? You're a bear of many hidden
talents. I didn't know about that. A. Yeah, well, I'm good at a lot of things,
and I really love clothes, so this is what I'm
doing now. Q. That's amazing! So yeah. Well, that's pretty
cool. A. Anyways, enough about me. What have you
been up to lately? Q. Well, I'm just doing my videos, doing my Internet coaching Skype
biz thing as usual. And I've been in a really big work
phase. I haven't actually been doing that much, to be honest.
A. Yeah, well, it's like that sometimes, you know? Sometimes you want to go out,
you want to party, you want to live it up. Sometimes you just want to get stuff done.
Q. Yeah. I totally hear where you're coming from on that one. I'm in a phase of
getting stuff done right now. Anyway. What are you -- what have you got planned for
the rest of the day? A. Nothing, really.
Q. Did you fancy doing something later on? We could hang out a little bit longer
today. A. Yeah. Sure. What do you feel like doing?
Q. Well, I haven't really given it much thought. We could do usual things. We could
go out for something to eat. Or we could go out for a couple of drinks later.
A. Yeah. I like the sound of that. I quite fancy pizza.
Q. All right, well, we can sort that out for sure. Why don't we go and have a pizza
later? A. Oh, I -- yeah! I'm looking forward to it.
Okay, I think we can finish off our conversation there now. Well done, Bear, because
you really did respect the conversation rules, the three rules. You kept it simple,
equal, and flowing, you know? We didn't really know what we are going to talk
about, and it all worked out Plato well in the end. Well, I think it did, anyway. So
give me a high five. Yay! "Yay!"
I want to thank you for watching. And before this video finishes, stop what you're
doing. Stop what you're doing, and take a moment to subscribe to my coaching
email tips newsletter because I share personal stories, inspiration and motivation to
help you with your speaking skills in my newsletter. Extra stuff that you don't get in
the videos. So if you haven't signed up already, it's time to give me your name and
get on my list, okay? And until next time, from me and Bear, we're going to go and
have that pizza now, aren't we? "Yeah, it's pizza time. Yeah! My favourite time of the
whole week." Cool. So do you want to say goodbye, Bear? "Bye."