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This next story happened two summers ago, when a friend of mine who works in a hotel
in my hometown of Gothenburg, Sweden, calls me up and says,
"You can never guess who checked into my hotel." And I said, "Is it Kirsten Dunst?" and she
said, "Yes." Now, I don't know that much about Kirsten
Dunst, but she sad once in an interview, I'm not exactly sure when it was, but it could
have been April 27, 2007, in the Culture and Arts section of the local
paper, that she liked my music. And I was trying for a long time, really hard,
to not get impressed by that, but I grew up in the suburbs of Gothenburg,
next to a potato chips factory looming over my had like some sort of tombstone
over my future and my destiny. And so what is a potato chips factory boy
like me to do when Kirsten comes to my town... ...except manically stalk her through the
night? So me and my friend Joel, we headed down to
this club where she was supposed to show up, cause I'd done some research and, uh, We stood
there waiting for a long time until a friend of ours was kind enough to
come up and tell us that she had tried to get in,
but there was a long line outside of the club and they hadn't let her go past that.
Which, we in our naïve minds, of course, wanted to attribute
to the idea of Gothenburg as this old, working-class town,
where no one's worth than anyone else and you don't get into the club faster
because you have the right name, or because you have money,
or because you made out with Spider Man. And given the political climate in Sweden
at the time, we wished that these basical principals of solidarity could
also be applied to the rest of society. So this song is called "Waiting for Kirsten"
We were waiting for Kirsten, me and Joel 'cause we found out the name of her hotel.
With the folköl and an evening paper, in which she spelled out my name letter by
letter. Well I grew up outside the city,
where the local Estrella chips factory had paved the way to your grave and to your
destiny. So what can a suburban boy like me do when
she mentions me? He's to compromise a portion of his dignity.
Another club, another beer, another hour, squint at the clock up at the church tower.
What she's doing here, you think? "I heard she's filming with von Trier"
Hey Klara, how's your night? Did you know about Kirsten, have you seen
her? She says, "Yeah she was here,
but she was turned away at the door." I know, I know, I can't believe no one told
her before that in Gothenburg we don't have VIP lines.
In Gothenburg, we don't give a *** about who you are
In Gothenburg, we don't have VIP lines. Then I bit my tongue and the taste of blood
was so strong These times are changing, Kirsten.
Göta Älv is slowly reversing. They turned a youth center into a casino,
they drew a swastika in your cappuccino. And the VIP lines are not to the clubs,
but to healthcare, apartments, and jobs. Hey buddy, can I borrow five grand?
'cause my dad's in chemo, and they wanna take him off his plan.
I said in Gothenburg, we don't have VIP lines. I said in Gothenburg, we don't give a ***
about who you are. In Gothenburg, we don't have VIP lines.
Then I bit my tongue and the taste of blood was so strong.
At the end of the night me and Joel went back and sat outside her hotel.
We drank beer after beer 'til the sun came up
and since she didn't show up, Joel said I had to man up
and write a note of affection and leave it in the reception.
And I wrote this confession with the lipstick from his girlfriend
on the back of her receipt, but the receptionist said I was drunk and
asked me to leave. Thank you!