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HARD TO BELIEVE IT, BUT THIS MOVIE
SCARED THE BEJEEBERS OUT OF ME WHEN I WAS A KID.
OF COURSE, BACK THEN, MY FRIENDS AND I HAD
AN ENTIRE HIERARCHY OF SCARINESS.
FOR INSTANCE, DRACULA WAS SCARIER THAN FRANKENSTEIN
BECAUSE FRANKENSTEIN WAS KIND OF SLOW-MOVING AND SLOW-THINKING.
THINGS FROM SPACE WERE GENERALLY SCARIER THAN THINGS THAN WEREN'T,
BUT NOTHING, NOTHING HAUNTED US
LIKE THE VEGETAL APPARITION THAT WE CALLED "MEAN GREEN."
MEAN GREEN WAS A COMPOSITE MONSTER
BUILT OUT OF OUR COLLECTIVE FEAR
OF ALL FOODS DARK, LEAFY, AND GREEN.
OF COURSE, OUR FEARS WERE WELL-FOUNDED.
THESE FOODS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HEALTHY,
AND OF COURSE, THEY TASTED TERRIBLE,
BITTER, EARTHY, COMPOSTY, BLECH!
LASTLY, OUR MOMS COOKED THEM FOR DAYS,
CREATING A TEXTURE THAT WE WERE CERTAIN COULD EXIST ONLY IN SWAMPS.
LUCKILY, THESE UNSAVORY LEAVES GAVE OFF SUCH A STENCH
DURING THEIR LONG STEWING SESSIONS
THAT YOU WERE TIPPED OFF TO THE NATURE OF THE EVENING'S MEAL
LONG BEFORE YOU GOT HOME.
THIS GAVE YOU TIME TO HATCH AN AVOIDANCE SCHEME,
SUCH AS DINNER AT A FRIEND'S OR AN APPENDECTOMY
OR RUNNING AWAY TO JOIN THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION...
BUT I'VE LEARNED A THING OR TWO SINCE CHILDHOOD
ABOUT VEGETABLES, COOKING, AND MONSTERS.
AND I'M PLEASED TO SAY THAT THE CREATURE FORMALLY KNOWN AS MEAN GREEN
IS, IN MY HOUSE AT LEAST, REFERRED TO NOW AS DEEP GREEN.
AND HE'S A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.
NOT TO MENTION, SERIOUSLY...
♪♪
♪ GOOD EATS ♪
♪♪
FOR THE SAKE OF THIS PROGRAM, WE'RE GOING TO DIVIDE
THE GREEN AND LEAFY WORLD INTO TWO DISTINCT GROUPS --
TENDER AND HARDY.
TENDER GREENS, LIKE BEET GREENS,
WILT QUICKLY WHEN EXPOSED TO HEAT,
AS DO YOUNG MUSTARD GREENS, SPINACH, AND SWISS CHARD.
HARDY GREENS LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, KALE,
WHICH IS CERTAINLY THE CURLIEST OF THIS BUNCH,
COLLARDS, THEY'RE THE TOUGHEST FOR SURE,
TURNIP GREENS, AND MATURE MUSTARD GREENS
ALL REQUIRE LONGER EXPOSURE TO HEAT IN ORDER TO SOFTEN.
IT IS THESE HARDY GREENS WITH THEIR STRONG FLAVORS
AND CONCENTRATED NUTRITION
THAT WE WILL FOCUS ON HERE TODAY.
NOW I REALIZE THAT MOST OF US DON'T HAVE A MONSTER HERE AT HOME
TO PICK THINGS OFF OF,
SO WE MUST GO TO THE MEGA-MART.
KALE, MUSTARD, TURNIPS, AND COLLARDS ARE BRASSICAS.
THAT IS, THEY ARE IN THE SAME BOTANICAL FAMILY AS CABBAGE.
BUT HERE'S THE DIFFERENCE --
ALL OF THESE GREENS BARE THE SCIENTIFIC MONIKER ACEPHALA,
WHICH MEANS "HEADLESS."
DID YOU CALL FOR A NUTRITIONAL ANTHROPOLOGIST,
BECAUSE I KNOW I DIDN'T CALL FOR A NUTRITIONAL ANTHROPOLOGIST.
ALTON, DID YOU KNOW THAT THE WORD "COLLARD"
COMES FROM THE ANGLO-SAXON TERM "COLEWORT,"
WHICH JUST MEANS "CABBAGE PLANT"?
YOU DON'T SAY.
AND COLLARDS ARE VERY OLD.
HOW OLD?
WELL, LET'S SAY THAT THIS MEGA-MART WAS A TIME MACHINE...
OH, THAT'S JUST PLAIN SILLY, THERE'S NO WAY...
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?
AND IF WE GO WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY BACK...
THE FIRST THING THAT WOULD DISAPPEAR WOULD BE BRUSSELS SPROUTS
BECAUSE THEY'VE ONLY BEEN AROUND ABOUT 500 YEARS...
AND THEN MAYBE CAULIFLOWER AND HEAD CABBAGE
AND KOHLRABI AND NAPA AND BOK CHOY
AND BROCCOLI.
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS, IT'S CONCEIVABLE THAT
PREHISTORIC MAN ATE COLLARD GREENS?
♪♪
I GUESS SO.
YEAH, I GUESS THAT ANSWERS THAT QUESTION.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IN A LOT OF EUROPE
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE ONLY WILD GREEN
AND SOURCE OF VITAMIN C THAT PEOPLE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN.
AND THEY DO TASTE BETTER IN COLD WEATHER.
THEY DO, AND THAT IS BECAUSE WITH COLLARD GREENS
THE SUGAR LEVEL GOES UP AS THE MERCURY GOES DOWN.
SAY, HOW DO YOU LIKE YOURS, DEB?
YOU DON'T REALLY CARE, YOU JUST SAY THAT WHEN YOU WANT TO GET RID OF ME.
WHILE IT IS CERTAINLY TRUE THAT DARK, LEAFY THINGS
KEEP BETTER AND LONGER WHEN LEFT IN A WHOLE STATE,
IT'S ALSO TRUE THAT YOU WILL BE A WHOLE LOT MORE LIKELY TO USE THEM
IF THEY'RE PREPPED AND READY TO GO
WHEN YOU WALK UP TO THE OLD CHILL CHEST.
AND CLEANED AND PREPPED, THEY'LL TAKE UP A LOT LESS ROOM IN THERE.
THE FIRST THING WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH IS THIS STEM,
WHICH I'M CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO EAT.
MY RULE IS, IF IT'S AN 1/8 TO 1/4 INCH WIDE,
I'LL LEAVE IT ON THERE.
ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT, AND IT HAS GOT TO GO.
HERE'S HOW --
JUST TAKE THIS AND KIND OF LAY IT DOWN
AND FOLD OVER THE LEAF KINDA LIKE A GIANT TACO.
THIS ONE I'M ACTUALLY GONNA CUT.
JUST TAKE A KNIFE AND RUN IT DOWN THE STEM.
YOU CAN JUST PULL THIS OFF WITH YOUR FINGERS IF IT'S A THIN ONE,
BUT THIS IS PRETTY BEEFY.
THIS WE SIMPLY DISCARD.
NOW CURLY LEAVES YOU CAN JUST KINDA TEAR UP
AND DUMP IN A SINK FULL OF WATER THUSLY.
IF, HOWEVER, WE'RE DEALING WITH A LARGE, FLAT LEAF,
LIKE, SAY, THIS MASSIVE AND RATHER IMPRESSIVE COLLARD GREEN,
WE'LL GO ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENTLY.
WE'LL PULL OFF THE STEMS JUST AS WE DID WITH THE OTHERS,
THEN WE'RE GONNA STACK THEM UP OVER HERE ON THE SIDE.
I REALIZE IT MAY SEEM THAT I'M MAKING AN AWFUL BIG DEAL ABOUT THESE STEMS,
BUT BELIEVE ME, THEY'RE MADE UP OF A SUBSTANCE
THAT IS NOT GOING TO DISSOLVE WHEN COOKED.
SO IF YOU AREN'T CAREFUL TO GET THEM OUT,
YOU'RE GONNA BE EATING A NICE POT OF GREENS, AND ALL OF SUDDEN
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BIG GREEN DENTAL FLOSS THING IN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH.
AND THAT'S NOT GOOD EATS, SO BE DILIGENT.
WHEN YOU GET BETWEEN FIVE OR TEN, JUST FOLD THEM,
ROLL THEM UP...
THEN HOLD THEM CAREFULLY,
CUT THAT DOWN THE MIDDLE,
AND THEN CUT THUSLY...
AND MOVE TO THE WATER.
THE ANCIENT MEDES BELIEVED THAT GREENS NEEDED TO BE WASHED
IN 12 CHANGES OF WATER
IN ORDER TO RID THEM OF THEIR EARTHLY ASSOCIATIONS.
PERSONALLY, I THINK THAT'S A LITTLE EXCESSIVE.
I JUST SWISH THEM AROUND IN DEEP WATER FOR ABOUT 30 SECONDS,
THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE SO THE DISLODGED GRIME
CAN SETTLE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SINK.
THE KEY IS TO KEEP THE WATER DEEP, AT LEAST FIVE INCHES,
OR ELSE THE SAND WILL JUST RE-SETTLE ON THE LEAVES.
LETTING WATER CLING TO THESE LEAVES
WOULD BE A FINE IDEA IF WE WERE GOING TO COOK THESE RIGHT AWAY,
BUT FOR LONG-TERM STORAGE, OR EVEN SHORT-TERM STORAGE,
BONE-DRY IS BETTER.
REMEMBER, WET GREENS ROT FAST.
SO WE'VE GOTTA GET THESE DRY,
AND YOU COULD USE A HAND-CRANK SALAD SPINNER,
BUT IT WOULD TAKE ALL DAY FOR THIS AMOUNT.
SO I PREFER TO USE THE BIG ELECTRIC SALAD SPINNER
THAT I'VE GOT HERE IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
THAT'S RIGHT, THE CLOTHES WASHER.
JUST FILL A ZIP-UP PILLOW COVER WITH YOUR GREENS
AND DROP THEM IN.
TURN ON THE SPIN CYCLE AND COME BACK IN ABOUT A MINUTE.
ON NEW YEAR'S DAY, WHEN EVERY GOOD SOUTHERNER
HAS A BIG HEAP OF GREENS ALONG WITH THE BLACK-EYED PEAS,
I'D JUST STAND HERE AND TEAR THE LEAVES OFF RIGHT INTO THE WASHER.
WHEN IT GETS ABOUT HALFWAY FULL, I GIVE IT A FEW MINUTES IN THE RINSE CYCLE,
AND THEN GIVE IT THE SPIN.
IT WORKS GREAT, AND I'VE NEVER LOST A LEAF.
AT LEAST, NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW.
BUT I'LL ADMIT THAT THE PILLOW COVER VERSION IS A LITTLE MORE CIVILIZED.
NOW WE'RE GONNA MOVE THESE TO LOW-ATMOSPHERE CONTAINMENT.
THAT IS A HEAVY-DUTY ZIP-TOP BAG WITH MOST OF THE AIR SQUEEZED
OR SUCKED OUT WITH A STRAW.
THIS KIND OF BAGGED GREEN IS GOOD,
BUT THERE IS ANOTHER KIND.
COLLARD, MUSTARD, KALE, AND TURNIP GREENS
OFTEN COME ALREADY CLEANED, CUT, BAGGED, AND TAGGED,
READY TO GO FROM YOUR MARKET.
ALTHOUGH I'LL USE THESE THINGS IN A PINCH,
I DON'T TRUST THEM.
CONVENIENCE ASIDE, THEY'RE A BIG GAMBLE
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT BAG,
ESPECIALLY DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GREENS,
WHERE EVIL COULD LURK.
BUYING THESE GREENS IS CERTAINLY BETTER THAN BUYING NO GREENS AT ALL,
BUT IF YOU DO USE THEM, I THINK YOU BETTER COOK THEM
THE SAME DAY YOU BUY THEM OR STAY AWAY.
BEHOLD, THE GREENS OF MY FORE-MOTHERS.
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE CERTAIN SOUTHERNERS GOT THE NOTION THAT
GREENS LIKE COLLARDS, TURNIPS, MUSTARD, AND SUCH
AREN'T WORTH EATING UNLESS THEY'VE BEEN COOKED
TO THE POINT THAT YOU COULD EAT THEM WITH A SPOON
OR, IN THIS CASE, MAYBE EVEN A STRAW.
THIS IS UNFORTUNATE FOR A WHOLE BIG BUNCH OF REASONS!
NOW LET'S SAY FOR A MOMENT THAT WE COULD TAKE A LEAF,
SAY A COLLARD GREEN LEAF,
AND BLOW IT UP TO THOUSANDS OF TIMES ITS NORMAL SIZE.
AND LET'S SAY THAT WE HAD SOME TECHNOLOGY THAT
WOULD ALLOW US TO CUT A WEE LITTLE HATCH IN THE SIDE OF THE LEAF
SO WE COULD PEEL BACK THE CHLOROPLASTS
AND LOOK DOWN INTO THE CELL STRUCTURE INSIDE.
WHAT WE WOULD SEE WOULD NOT BE UNLIKE THIS --
A LOT OF LITTLE BOXES, THESE ARE THE CELLS.
THEY'RE MADE UP OF PECTIN SUBSTANCES THAT
ARE REINFORCED WITH LIGNIN AND CELLULOSE.
THEN INSIDE ARE ALL KINDS OF STRUCTURES, INCLUDING NUTRIENTS
LIKE VITAMINS AND MINERALS, THINGS THAT WE WANT TO GET AT.
THE PROBLEM IS, THEY'RE IN THOSE CELLS.
COWS GET AROUND THIS WHEN THEY EAT GRASS
BECAUSE THEY STAND AND THEY CHEW AND CHEW AND CHEW ALL DAY LONG,
WHICH IS WHY THEY DON'T BUILD BUILDINGS
OR POWERBOATS OR SUPERCOMPUTERS.
PEOPLE, ON THE OTHER HAND, KNOW HOW TO COOK.
THROUGH COOKING, THROUGH A COMBINATION OF WATER, HEAT, AND TIME,
WE CAN SOFTEN THESE WALLS AND GET AT THE NUTRIENTS INSIDE.
IF WE COOK LONGER THAN IT TAKES JUST TO SOFTEN,
WE CAN ACTUALLY ALMOST DISSOLVE THESE WALLS
TO THE POINT THAT THE NUTRIENTS WILL RUN OUT INTO THE WATER.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT
AS LONG AS YOU LIKE DRINKING THE POT LIQUOR, AS WE CALL IT IN THE SOUTH,
AND I CERTAINLY DO.
HOWEVER, IF YOU CONTINUE TO COOK THE LEAVES AND THESE NUTRIENTS,
THE NUTRIENTS THEMSELVES, OR SOME OF THEM,
CAN BEGIN TO BREAK DOWN.
BAD THINGS CAN HAPPEN.
WHEN ISOTHIOCYANATES COOK ENOUGH,
THEY FORM VERY STRONG FLAVORS
AND EVEN STRONGER SMELLS IN THE AIR.
IN FACT, THAT STINKY ROTTEN-EGG SMELL THAT
COMES OUT OF GREENS ALL TOO OFTEN
CAN BE TOXIC IN LARGE AMOUNTS.
IN FACT, IT WAS SYNTHESIZED AND TURNED INTO A BIOLOGICAL WARFARE AGENT
USED IN WORLD WAR I CALLED MUSTARD GAS.
OF COURSE, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT,
I'M PRETTY SURE MY MOTHER WAGED BIOLOGICAL WARFARE ON ME IN THE 1960s.
I GOTTA GET SOME AIR.
BLECH!
OH, SMELLS LIKE SOMEBODY'S WASTING PERFECTLY GOOD ISOTHIOCYANATES IN THERE.
WHY, LOOK, IT'S CAROLYN, MY DIETICIAN NEIGHBOR.
HOW SO, GOOD?
WELL, ISOTHIOCYANATES ARE POWERFUL PLANT NUTRIENTS.
WE CALL THEM PHYTOCHEMICALS, AND WE LOVE THEM
BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE HIT MEN AGAINST EVIL CARCINOGENS.
NOT ONLY CAN THEY HELP PREVENT THEIR DAMAGING EFFECTS, SUCH AS CAUSING TUMORS,
THEY CAN ACTUALLY HELP REMOVE THEM FROM OUR BODIES.
BUT YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO OVERCOOK THEM LIKE THAT.
OKAY!
I'M JUST...
SHE'S GONNA HAVE A LONG WALK.
BEFORE WE GET BUSY NOT OVERCOOKING OUR GREENS,
WE NEED TO CONSIDER A FLAVORANT.
NOW GREENS ARE STRONG STUFF, PHYSICALLY AND FLAVOR-ANT-LY...
ANYWAY, THEY NEED STRONG PARTNERS.
HERE ARE YOUR BEST OPTIONS.
PUNGENT, AS IN GARLIC.
ACIDIC, AS IN VINEGAR AND CITRUS.
CREAMY, AS IN...
BLUE CHEESE.
AND FINALLY, SMOKY.
NOW SMOKE IS MY FAVORITE BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT DARK, LEAFY GREENS THAT
REMINDS ME OF SCOTCH.
AND GOOD SCOTCH IS ALWAYS AGED IN SMOKED SHERRY BARRELS.
MY FAVORITE SMOKE INJECTION SYSTEM IS...
SMOKED TURKEY LEGS, WHICH ARE AVAILABLE AT MOST MAJOR MEGA-MARTS.
THEY IMPART JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SMOKY GOODNESS
WITHOUT OVERWHELMING THE NATURAL FLAVOR OF THE GREENS
WITH A LOT OF EXTRA SALT AND FAT AND WHATNOT.
IF YOU CAN'T GET SMOKED TURKEY LEGS,
YOU CAN ALWAYS GO WITH A COUPLE OF SMOKED HAM HOCKS.
SO OUR 1 1/2-POUND SMOKED TURKEY LEG
GOES INTO OUR EIGHT-QUART POT ALONG WITH A QUART OF WATER.
I'M GONNA COVER THIS WITH A LID
AND BRING IT TO A BOIL OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT
AND LET IT SIMMER FOR ABOUT ANOTHER TEN MINUTES OR SO.
THAT IS GONNA RENDER OUT SOME FAT
AND BRING SOME OF THIS SMOKY FLAVOR
OUT OF THE MEAT AND INTO THE WATER,
WHERE IT CAN BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED WITH THE GREENS.
TEN MINUTES IS UP, WE ADD ONE TEASPOON OF SUGAR
AND ONE TEASPOON OF SALT.
NEXT, TWO POUNDS, THAT'S APPROXIMATELY TWO GALLONS,
OF CLEAN, CHOPPED GREENS.
RIGHT IN THE POT.
IT ISN'T GOING TO LOOK LIKE IT'S GOING TO FIT.
YOU'LL HAVE TO KINDA COAX IT A LITTLE BIT.
JUST PUSH DOWN ON TOP OF THAT TURKEY LEG.
THERE WE GO.
NOW WE'RE GONNA COVER AND GENTLY SIMMER
UNTIL THE GREENS SHRINK DOWN AND GET VERY, VERY TENDER,
ABOUT 45 MINUTES.
WITH THAT AMOUNT OF COOKING, YOU WILL GET A LITTLE EARTHY SMELL IN YOUR KITCHEN,
AS WELL AS A PLEASANT SMOKINESS,
BUT NOTHING LIKE THE NOXIOUS CLOUD OF MY CHILDHOOD.
NOW WE'VE GONE THROUGH ABOUT HALF OF THE COOKING PROCESS,
AND AS YOU CAN SEE, THE GREENS HAVE COOKED DOWN CONSIDERABLY
FROM THEIR ORIGINAL MASS.
THEY'VE GIVEN UP A LOT OF MOISTURE TO THE POT.
I'M GONNA WANT TO STIR THIS FOR ABOUT EVERY TEN MINUTES OR SO
UNTIL THE COOKING IS COMPLETE,
JUST TO MAKE SURE NOTHING BURNS.
I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THE WATER SEEMS TO BE BUBBLING A BIT AGGRESSIVELY HERE,
AND YET I HAVE MY BURNER TURNED ALL THE WAY DOWN.
SO I'M GONNA KILL THIS BURNER AND MOVE THIS OFF
TO A SMALLER SIMMER BURNER
FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE COOKING TIME.
WHEN IT COMES TO SERVING. I LIKE TO KEEP THINGS SIMPLE --
JUST A FEW DASHES OF HOT SAUCE TO ADD A LITTLE BIT OF HEAT
AND UP THE ACIDITY, GIVE IT A LITTLE BIT OF BRIGHTNESS.
I'M PARTIAL TO THE KIND WITH THE LITTLE CHILES IN THE BOTTLE.
SPEAKING OF LIQUID, JUST TAKE A LOOK
AT WHAT HAS ACCUMULATED HERE IN THIS BOWL.
HERE IN THE SOUTH, WE SOUTHERNERS CALL THAT POT LIQUOR.
GIVEN A CHOICE BETWEEN THE LEAVES AND THE LIQUOR,
WELL, WE'D PROBABLY JUST HAVE THE LIQUOR.
AH, THAT'S GOOD EATS.
NOW I EAT THIS KIND OF STUFF ONCE OR TWICE A DAY,
HECK, THREE TIMES IF THERE'S CORNBREAD IN THE HOUSE,
BUT BEFORE GOING THROUGH THE WHOLE BATCH,
I'M VERY, VERY CAREFUL TO SET SOME ASIDE
FOR A GREENLESS DAY.
THAT'S BECAUSE IN THIS STATE THEY'RE VERY FREEZABLE.
♪♪
ALTHOUGH HERE IN AMERICA HARDY GREENS ARE
MOST OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH LONG, SLOW COOKING METHODS,
IN ASIA GREENS SUCH AS TURNIP GREENS, MUSTARD GREENS, AND KALE
ARE OFTEN COOKED VERY HOT AND VERY FAST.
THE KEY TO GETTING AWAY WITH THIS IS IN TECHNIQUE
AND PROPER PAN SELECTION.
THE ISSUE HERE IS SURFACE AREA.
YOU SEE, WE'VE GOT A BIG OLD MESS OF GREENS,
AND IF WE TRY TO COOK THEM IN TOO SMALL OF A PAN,
WE'LL END UP STEWING THEM, AND THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO.
I'M LOOKING FOR MORE OF A SAUTE.
SO WE NEED LOTS OF WIDE-OPEN REAL ESTATE,
AND I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T THINK THE ANSWER'S UP HERE.
NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
PLACE YOUR ROASTING PAN OVER NOT ONE, BUT TWO BURNERS SET TO MEDIUM HEAT.
THINGS ARE GONNA MOVE PRETTY FAST AROUND HERE,
SO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ON HAND 1 TO 1 1/4 POUNDS OF GREENS --
I LIKE KALE --
AND THE REST OF YOUR MISE EN PLACE,
WHICH WE SHALL LIST BY NAME SHORTLY.
AS FOR THE REST OF THE HARDWARE, SPRING-LOADED TONGS AND ONE BASTING BRUSH.
LET'S COOK!
THE OIL GOES IN, ONE TABLESPOON.
TWO CLOVES OF GARLIC...
THEN WE ADD THE ZEST OF ONE LEMON.
NEXT, TWO TEASPOONS OF FRESHLY SQUEEZED LEMON JUICE
FOLLOWED QUICKLY BY A TABLESPOON OF HONEY.
THEN 1 1/2 TEASPOONS OF SALT GOES ON TOP OF THAT
ALONG WITH 1/4 TEASPOON OF PEPPER.
STIR THAT AROUND, AND THEN IN COMES THE GREENS.
GET THEM IN ALL AT ONCE IF YOU CAN,
AND YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU GET ALL THE WATER THAT'S CLINGING TO THEM.
I JUST WASHED THESE, SO I'M GONNA BET THAT
THERE'S PROBABLY 1/2 CUP OF WATER HOLDING ON TO THOSE LEAVES.
IF YOUR LEAVES WERE DRY WHEN THEY WENT INTO THE PAN,
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO ADD THIS
BECAUSE FOR NOW IT'S THE ONLY COOKING LIQUID.
AS THESE COOK DOWN AND GIVE UP SOME LIQUID,
THEY'LL BE LESS LIKELY TO BURN.
BUT THE FIRST 30 OR 40 SECONDS ARE PRETTY CRITICAL.
THE TECHNIQUE HERE IS NOT ONLY TO TOSS THE GREENS SO THAT THEY COOK EVENLY,
BUT YOU WANT TO KINDA SCRUB THE BOTTOM WITH THEM
TO GET ALL THE FLAVORS OFF OF THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN.
WHEN THE GREENS HAVE COOKED DOWN ALMOST TO THE CONSISTENCY
OF A FROZEN-AND-THEN-THAWED SPINACH...
ACTUALLY, THEY'VE STILL GOT A LITTLE BIT MORE BACKBONE THAN THAT.
THIS IS PERFECT.
I'M GONNA KILL THE HEAT AND ADD OUR FINAL FLAVORANT --
HALF A TEASPOON OF RED PEPPER FLAKE FOR A LITTLE ***
AND ONE TABLESPOON OF SESAME SEEDS.
YOU CAN TOAST THEM BEFORE IF YOU LIKE, BUT I DON'T.
TOSS...
AND THEN THERE'S NOT MUCH LEFT TO DO
BESIDES JUST BREAKING OUT YOUR CHOPSTICKS.
ALTHOUGH I LOVE ALL OF THE DARK, LEAFY GREENS,
I HAVE TO SAY THAT MUSTARD GREENS ARE PROBABLY MY FAVORITE
BECAUSE THEY ARE SO VERSATILE.
FOR INSTANCE, THEY CAN BE USED
TO CREATE A NICE DELICIOUS THING THAT
GOES INSIDE A BAKING DISH LIKE THIS.
IT IS, IN FACT, A GRATIN.
THE FIRST STEP, PAN PREP.
BUTTER UP A 2 TO 2 1/2-QUART BAKING DISH.
MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET THE BUTTER ALL THE WAY UP THE SIDES.
THEN BEAT TOGETHER THREE WHOLE CHICKEN EGGS IN A LARGE BOWL,
AND THEN ADD TEN OUNCES OF RICOTTA CHEESE,
TWO OUNCES OF GRATED PARMESAN CHEESE,
THAT'S ABOUT 1/2 CUP,
THEN 1/2 TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT,
AND, FINALLY, 1/4 TEASPOON OF FRESHLY GROUND BLACK PEPPER.
ONE TABLESPOON OF BUTTER WE'LL PUT RIGHT IN THE CORNER.
WE'RE GONNA LET THAT KINDA POOL UP IN THE CORNER AS IT MELTS.
TWO CLOVES OF GARLIC, MINCED,
AND 12 OUNCES OF SLICED MUSHROOMS.
JUST TOSS THOSE WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SALT -- KOSHER, OF COURSE --
OVER MEDIUM HEAT UNTIL THEY ARE BROWNED
AND GIVE UP MOST OF THEIR LIQUID.
THEN ADD ONE POUND OF STEMMED MUSTARD GREENS.
TOSS THOSE WITH THE MUSHROOMS AND WHATNOT,
AGAIN OVER MEDIUM HEAT,
UNTIL THEY ARE THOROUGHLY WILTED.
THEN MOVE THEM OFF OF THE HEAT AND COMBINE WITH THE BATTER.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
YOU'RE THINKING IT WOULD BE A LOT EASIER
TO SIMPLY TURN THIS PAN UP AND DUMP EVERYTHING INTO THE BOWL,
BUT THERE'S EXCESS MOISTURE IN HERE THAT WE DO NOT WANT TO BRING TO THE PARTY.
SO BE PATIENT AND WORK WITH YOUR TONGS.
DON'T TRY TO PACK THIS DOWN INTO THE BAKING DISH.
JUST KIND OF SPOON IT INTO PLACE.
WHAT KIND OF CRACKERS?
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU, BUT THEY LOOK KINDA LIKE THIS.
OKAY?
SLIDE THIS INTO A 375-DEGREE OVEN
FOR 35 TO 40 MINUTES,
OR UNTIL THE TOP IS GOLDEN BROWN AND DELICIOUS.
MMM, THAT'S GOLDEN BROWN AND DELICIOUS.
NOW JUST LET THIS COOL FOR A FEW MINUTES
AND THEN SERVE.
WELL, AS I HOPE YOU FOLKS KNOW BY NOW,
WHEN IT COMES TO DARK, LEAFY GREENS, THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR.
GREENS ARE HEALTHY, ECONOMICAL, VERSATILE,
AND, IF YOU DON'T COOK 'EM TO DEATH, DARN DELICIOUS TO BOOT.
WELL, BIG GUY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH YOURSELF
NOW THAT NOBODY'S AFRAID OF YOU ANYMORE?
WHAT'S THIS?
SALAD DRESSING SPOKESPERSON.
NICE, WELL, I HOPE THAT WORKS OUT FOR YOU.
AS FOR THE REST OF YOU, I HOPE YOU'LL TAKE THE DIVE AND EAT YOUR GREENS.
JUST REMEMBER, BUY THEM FRESH,
WASH, CUT, AND STORE PROPERLY AS SOON AS YOU GET HOME,
PAIR THEM WITH STRONG FLAVORS,
AND, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT OVERCOOK THEM!
OR HE MIGHT GIVE UP THE DRESSING GIG
AND COME PAY YOU A VISIT.
SEE YA NEXT TIME ON "GOOD EATS."
OH... NO, I GUESS NOT, CANNIBALISM.
Captioned by Scripps Networks, Inc.