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Hello, I'm Detective Finn.
Dewey Finn!
I'm here on a call we're looking for this guy.
Hm...
He looks familiar. I might know him for a good pretty penny..
Where do you know him? Where do yo know him from?
It doesn't matter, it's too late, it doesn't matter anymore.
My friend here, his names Darko, get him a Coke. - Donnie Darko -
He wants a coke.. give me a penny.
Good enough..
Let me check my inventory..
Hm, here ya go.
Fresh out the cuts.
I'm gonna have to ask you to get your foot off the table wise guy!
What's it to you boss?
Doesn't matter, get me a paper...
What kind of paper?
Gimme the..uh... - The tree paper? -
The New York Times.
Okay..
I'm gonna have to ask you for a stogie too.
You know a REAL man would carry his own stogie.
You're right, that's why I got mine.
You need a light you *** ***?
- Hey - I suppose since I'm a gentleman I'll light you first..
Me next..
Hey..
WHOA!
No one...
..has touched me, since my priest told me that no one else could touch me except him...
Alright, I didn't know you were the delicate type..
I need you to tell me about the fella down at the bar..
..he looks a little suspicious.. -Yeah, a little suspicious-
Well you see, he is my best customer Fitzgerald
Fitzgerald, eh?...yeah...
He buys out the shop every night, gets passed out drunk on the bar.
He looks a little suspicious, like one of the mobsters..
Well I think you're *** stupid!
Well who are you wise guy?
Who are YOU wise guy?
Are you callin' me wise?
Are you callin' ME wise?
Well I did go to Yale so I guess I AM pretty wise..
I do own a bar. What the *** do you do?
I'm a cop for Christ's sake..
Everyone hates you, they run moonshine behind your back..
Listen here, I need to see your' moonshine..
What's that?
I'm here on investigation leave..
I don't have any moonshine...
Now you're just playin' games. Now I'm gettin a little ***.
Who's the girl?
Which one?
The girl that just walked in! - The girl.. -
The nasty one in the dress?
The girl!
The only girl in here?
The only girl in here..
The gargoyle?
The girl! - The gargoyle -
Okay, that girl, I'll tell you about her..
You see FItzgerald down there, that drunk ***?
About ten minutes ago.. you know when you guys was dancin'?
Yes, we does..
Okay well you missed the actual important stuff because you're so self-induced in yourself.
Well anyways, they got in this big fight.. supposedly she's having an affair.
With this guy! How the *** does he not know who she is?
That girl!?
That girl.
You wasn't doin' her you was doin' my Gramma.
He was drinkin' the moonshine... - I was doin' his Gramma - - He was doin my Gramma! -
You was doin' his wife!
Look okay let me explain...
The guidos and the Grammas were at the club right? -Yeah - 'Kay, them and the mafia men got intertwined. Yeah you're not gonna believe this..
The guidos and the guahos got into a twist.. and they started doin' the twist! It was the craziest twist I've ever seen. It was the twist of all twists.
Best twist of my life!
And then him and my Gramma guidoed all over my guakako and then all over my car and then I said, this is enough, Chevrolet, I'm done.
I mean Chevrolet, this is the craziest thing I've ever saw in my life
And THAT'S a story.
Okay I need a paper... You got any papers?
I just gave you a paper five minutes ago!
I lost it.. - We need another one! -
- Well.. - I think we gotta show this guy how to dance...
Hey who the *** is dancing?
What's you're problem buster?
What's my problem? I'm Fitzgerald - You mind if I ask you a few questions? -
Hey, the name is Finn..
Hey hey you don't talk to drunk man..
Whoa wise guy! Who do you think you are?!
I'm someone who got dumped today. You don't wanna tussle with this man!
Whoa fatso...
Whoa bub you wanna pop a sock in your ***' mouth? Wanna tussle?
Throw him the left hook! Throw him the left hook!
You don't mess with me wise guy!
That's what happens when you tussle with the buster..
We're bringin' you in.
Get up, sir... You're goin' Downtown
Good lord...
What kind of bar do you run around here?