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we all make mistakes we can
can disappoint each other it is part of our
human experience and as a mediator I can tell you what are the most powerful
tools
have any successful relationship is
knowing how to apologize and in this episode we're gonna talk about
the specifics of what makes up an effective apology
before you have any serious conversation
abound about asking for forgiveness
or saying I'm sorry first important to put yourself in the other person's shoes
and to acknowledge
how what you've done or what you said
may have hurt them and then
by doing so you could recognize
your fault in this situation now
I realize that other people have their things in maybe they could have
communicated better or have done this or done that
but at this moment focus on
your part of the situation in focus how your response
how your reaction or how your contribution
to the conflict may have hurt the end person
focus on that for the moment and then
you need to sit and think about how you can
make it better what are the steps that you can do
to make things better sometimes a simple apology
is all that is needed sometimes
they make you feel that you need to do something in order to
make it up to them so be
open to that when you do apologize and then lastly
apologize say that you're sorry
mean it's also important to recognize
that you promise not to
those things that have harmed or hurt the other person
so don't make a promise
that you can keep but when you're ready to apologize
for it make a commitment to yourself
and the other person that you will not do it again. Also, part of your apology
should include why you are thankful that they are in your life
and what it is they bring to your life what attributes
what are the positive things that you love about them or care about them
and why they bring value in your life
remind them why they are important to you and
why the relationship is important to you
recognized that sometimes
an apology is all that is needed
somebody just needs to hear "I'm sorry"
and the promise not to do it again and this is why you're important to me
and sometimes
people need time to process everything
and work through it themselves in order for them to genuinely
accept your apology just because you apologized doesn't guarantee
that the other person accept it nor does it guarantee
that the other person will forgive you depending on the type
conflict that you experienced that forgiveness
may take time so don't rush things give people the time space in time to work out
but for your part of the situation the fact that you have owned up
to hurting them or acknowledging
how you hurt them can go a long way
in helping them heal and if they do accept your apology
and they've perhaps apologize for their part in it
let the past go you've made a commitment now
to move forward and you now know
what boundaries
you shouldn't cross in terms hurting the other person
to let this experience help you grow together
by not going there again and making a commitment
to make better choices in the future
well that's all for today if you have a question that you would like me to answer
or if you are having a conflict or a difficult conversation
or anything like that just email me and mediator in jeans at
gmail dot com and don't forget to subscribe
I have a lot more exciting episodes coming
and until next time be fair with each other bye for now