Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Episode 1: Barbarians at the Gate
Elmore Tavern - No Orc Allowed
Oh sod it all, this is the third time this week!
Bar nak seh drak a nah, Lord Brian
What did he say?
I don't know. I don't speak Orc tongue.
These big smelly Orcs keep showing up, the loud one yells for awhile, I give them free ale, and eventually, they leave.
Well, he says that this tavern is now the property of Lord Brian, the leader of the Orc army, and we all must leave, or die.
Right then. They've never killed any of us before.
Bree too kaye... sha na loch!
He says... uh... leave now or he'll kill the old man???
Not before he pays his tab!
Sod this! I'm outta here!
Well... that's inconvenient
I hope you're happy!
Come on... let's get out of here before it gets any uglier
Whoever this 'Lord Brian' is, someone should pay him a little visit!
This is costing' me tips ya know!
(people chatting)
(door slamming inside)
Bea tro nah kah dah!
Russ... these orcs seem pretty upset. I think maybe they own the sheep that you killed this morning.
I keep tellin' ya... ya can't go 'round killin' sheep for no good reason.
Ya know Art... sheep are the Devil's spawn, and when I see those fuzzy little demons from hell, I've gotta kill 'em.
I like killin' sheep almost as much as I like killin' orcs!
Meh tay nah la sheep?
Sheep??? Must... kill... fuzzy... demons... from...
(from inside) HELL!!!
Is there anything to be concerned about? Is there a fire?
No, no, no... it's a band of orcs in there.
Is there anyone else we should worry about?
Just a couple of barbarians. I think they be brothers!
They use no magic... it should be safe.
Come party... let us help the barbarians!
No, I win because you got up, so I win by forfeit.
Yeah, well I got up to kill the stupid orcs!
You two did all this?
No, no, no, no... he did this all by himself, and I ain't helpin' to clean it up.
If you want to get him to clean it up, you better make him start now.
He never cleans up his messes, and you can guess who Mom made clean up the bodies at home.
Nice try, orc-brain!
Who are you guys?
We're the Brothers Barbarian!
The Brothers who? Shouldn't you guys be retired?
Letting us more... younger adventurers take care of the world's problems?
We were cursed with these old, sexy bodies by an evil witch, and now we're on a quest to find her...
...so she can turn us back into our younger, even more handsome selves.
Ya haven't seen any evil witches, have ya?
Define 'evil'
Yeah, well you'd know if you ever saw her 'cause she's got this cloak...
...and she's hideous and she's got these red glowin' eyes that pierce into your soul...
...you wonder how you're gonna spend your last few seconds of your life.
Go out like a man? Or scream like a little girl like Art did.
No, I did not scream... OK, it was more of a light grumble... maybe a little higher pitch...
ENOUGH!
Enough. No, we have not seen an old... evil witch.
But if we do, we'll send her back here, so you two, can argue in front of her.
Well, I guess we better go then.
See! I told you he wouldn't clean up his mess.
(arguing)
The orcs... are... uh... dead.
(crowd cheers)
You saved the barbarians! (more cheers)
Finally we can get back to drinking! (more cheers!)
(theme music)
I've got to learn that spell again, so my clothes will come with me
Ohh... it's COLD!
(theme music)