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I’ll never forget one of the visiting sessions
at the visitors’ centre that doesn’t exist any more.
Family members, workmates and friends
could visit prisoners there.
We were always told in advance
not to talk about things
that happened in the prison.
Either about co-prisoners, the food or anything.
One time, a cellmate was sat next to me
and his mother came in.
She was outraged: “What do you look like?
You’re so thin! What’s happened?”
One of the screws says, “Calm down now!”
“Calm down? Look at my son!”
She made a real scene.
I thought she was brilliant.
My cellmate calmed the screw down
and his mother.
“It’s okay, Mum. Just sit down.”
Then he says to the screw,
“Say, Mr. Chief Inspector
you can see that my mother’s getting upset.
Excuse me, Mr. Chief Inspector, may I tell my mother,
that we haven’t seen a sausage in three weeks?”
He was so dumb, he replied, “No, you may not!”
So she knew what was going on.
For weeks the whole prison laughed about that.
Rummelsburg could be funny too.