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I was giving birth to my third
daughter in a hospital right outside Philadelphia
and there were complications
because the baby was turned sideways
there was a decision to make on the part of the surgeon whether he would save
the mother or the child because I began
violently hemorrhaging
and they lost the respiration of the baby
so they decided they had to go forth as the doctor was talking to the nurse
about what was happening there was a
noise on the loudspeaker of the delivery room
calling the pediatrician to the delivery room
in an emergency. That's the last thing I remember
consciously hearing because
things got silent and I began to float
up over the operating table and I was looking down at myself
and the nurse that was standing next to me
panicking
and suddenly I saw the doctor throw his hands up in the air
and he began to panic and a
calm a very interesting calm came over me
to the fact that I was now an observer
of a play. It wasn't really
something that I was participating in
and I began to float higher and higher and pretty soon
I knew I was up at the ceiling of
the room or the delivery room because the table was way below me
and then I seem to just disappear
until I was above the building
the hospital building and
I have never flown over the hospital but I can describe in detail
the air conditioning unit and the things that were on the roof
and I'm still looking down
and then suddenly I began to tumble
at least I felt I was tumbling
and I was shot out in to
almost space because as I looked down
I saw the lunar shot
of the globe that
we as humanity didn't see it until the astronauts went
to the moon and yet I had that clear picture
of the earth shaded that blue and white and
so forth just like the shot that the astronauts brought back
and then I was facing outward
toward the stars being moved very quickly
as if I was being sucked
and the came face to face with this brilliant white
light similar to what's here in the studio
but so bright that I'd wanted to almost hide my eyes
and a voice spoke to me
clearly and said "what was I doing there?"
and I said "well, I wasn't sure because I thought I was having a baby
and that same voice said "if you come any further
you had not return and you must go back
because you have work to do with many people"
and I remember
kinda being surprised by that but not being surprised
it didn't fit part of my reality at the time
but I remembered knowing
what the voice had communicated
to me whas right. So, I asked
"how can I go back?" and
I don't remember anything else
other then pressure everywhere as if I was being squeezed
into some sort of tube and
two days later i awakened
and
I was then considered kinda the Queen of the hospital
because I was told that I had
had a heart arrest and and had been in that state
for 17 minutes. They had tagged my big toe
with that tag to go to the morgue and the nurse had seen
that sheet that they had covered me with
move by my hand and had informed everybody
that she had seen the movement and they
quickly began oxygen and different forms of respiration
but consciously I don't remember any of that
I was not awake the last thing I remember as I said was being squeezed
pressure everywhere
and then waking up. The question
How do I perceive this statement "Death
makes life transparent" could be taken
as a metaphor and
not just a black-and-white
reality because we
die a little bit
all the time. Every time we complete an experience of
everything and have to say goodbye to it or let it go
or release it
we have excepted death. We may never see that particular friend again or we
may never
have the opportunity to
visit that country
so to speak. So, it is a death
yet
are experience has broadened
our understanding. So, if we look at the even
physical death as having lived life
and broadened ourselves,
grown, evolved, and transcended
certain lessons of learning we should
be like the mystics and the saints of old
gladly embracing it. " Lord
take me I'm ready!"
Death this hard to acept at least
people who have come to me for councilling I find the hardest thing for me
personally to accept is when a child
dies and it's a loss
and a great loss of something
that seems not to have been given a fair chance
to live and in these instances according to my personal research
there's usually a lesson to be learned by the parents
or it's a motivation for the parents
to birth something else
for instance if they lose a child
to leukemia maybe it's their role to start a
parental support
group for parents of a
hopeless situation and so forth, so,
there's always a reason
to life and
therefore there must be always a reason
for death and since we haven't
conquered death as a species maybe it's not supposed to be conquered
maybe were supposed to just let go of this body
willingly and go on
into what
other reality we believe in or
would embrace were we to understand
what opportunities might lie there as well
many spirits come back and try to tell us
their's schools available and it's...
place's of rest available and that's
opportunities to
get back in the action as spiritual guides and
said so forth. So, you know life does go on
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